A Love That Consumes You, Part One.
Author's Notes.
The characters do not belong to me the only plot is mine.
Thanks to Scarlett 2112, Hey its Karma, Damonfangirl, Lyddy P, Happy Gilmore, Tia Salvatore, Riley 38 and my guest reviewer. Thank you for your lovely review.
It was almost midnight and the hotel bar was almost empty. His own friends left one by one but he stayed as he dwells on Ygritte words which makes him think back on his life.
Jon often heard that someone life had been in turmoil but he never fully understood the deep meaning behind it until today when his Ex casually reminds him about that red hair girl.
He still couldn't understand what was so special about that moment. All his life he lived a simple and planned life.
He never dreamed big, never aim higher than his capacity and never waste second of his life to achieve any kind of desire. Even his choice of profession was not his dream.
It was his late grandfather who worked for a security agency all his life. Since Jon never knew his own father, his grandfather was his only role model and it was his dream to see him one day in secret services.
Sadly his grandfather passed away when he was only fourteen and from then on things become hard for his mom and him but even as life goes on he unconsciously made his late grandfather's dream into his own.
So even though the one thing he was good at was not his dream, that fact never bothered him. Jon remembers how his mother always scolds him about his lack of desires in his life. "Don't you ever wish for something? Something that you can fight for, something you want to be part of your life at any cost?!"
He never gave her answer because he didn't want to hurt his mom's feelings but if he could then he would tell her that the reason he never dream big or desire for anything in his life is because he learned one truth that people like them, who belong to lower working class can never get anything big in their life.
They can work hard but in the end, they can only create a better living situation for themselves and their families and afterwards have great hopes for their next generation.
A hope that their children get everything they couldn't achieve for themselves.
Some might say it was a loser talk but when life let you down because you didn't have money or great family then you accept these harsh reality with a smile on your face and that's exactly what he did whenever anyone asks him these questions.
But one day life gave him his first taste of desire. That day when he was supposed to begin his new life was also the day when his eye fell on this beautiful girl who was sitting two seats away from him.
It was like an Angel appear in front of him and he was struck by her innocence and then their eyes met and she smiled at him and for the first time he felt something shift inside him. He could have stayed frozen at that moment and died, a happy man.
It was then for the first time ever Jon truly desire someone in his life, he even found strange courage inside him that urged him to open his mouth to speak with this girl who was clearly way out of his league.
Yet he was ready to take a leap of faith but then his bad luck interrupted his moment in the form of a happy couple.
Jon chuckle because he now remembers who that happy couple was. At that time he felt little bitter towards that nauseate romantic couple who stole his one and only chance and in that bitter moment he wished he never crossed path with them again and now years later...
"Drinking alone Snow?" Damon settles beside him and ordered a drink for himself before his eyes fell on Jon's empty glass. "And one for my friend too."
As soon their drinks arrived Damon clink their glasses and then take few sips of his drink before putting it down. "Now tell me, what thing is bothering you so much that making you sulk here all alone?"
"I am not sulking." But Damon raised his eyes as if he doesn't believe one word out of his mouth.
"It's just." He huff as he rakes his fingers over his hair when he couldn't form words to explain the turmoil in his life.
Damon who was watching him closely found Jon agitated for some reason. "Start from the beginning, Jon. It often helps me solving a certain problem when I think back what actually caused that problem in the first place."
Apparently, his advice was all he needed to unload all his problems as he began telling his story.
"When I first got my acceptance letter, by that time it was the only thing that matters to me. I am a simple man Damon and my background didn't give me much hopes and dreams, so that letter was my one and only chance to be something."
He then glances at Damon to assess his reaction when he told him this next part. "You know I met you and Mrs Salvatore before. It was that flight of Alaska where we were sitting together."
As he thought his eyes widened in surprise. "That was almost nine years ago when we returned from our honeymoon. Wow! That's really something." Still dazed they finished their drinks and then Jon continue with his story.
"You won't remember this but there was this girl I was helping out when you interrupted me. I, I was really hoping to introduce myself but then you kind of embarrassed me and I lost my nerve."
"I am so sorry Jon." Damon began but he waves his hand in its okay gesture. " It was years ago and even though I was bitter, I thought it was better that I didn't get a chance to make a fool out of myself."
He went quiet and didn't even realize when Damon placed another glass in his hand. "I hope you found someone else."
This makes him laugh as Ygritte face pop up in front of his mind. "You will laugh at me or worse think I am crazy because that one memory of that girl left an imprint on my mind. First few months I was grateful that nothing came out of that encounter.
My entire focus was on my training and whenever I thought of that girl, I quickly distract myself with something else."
He burst into laughter for second as he told Damon. "A year later I was assigned with Brianne team and there I met Tormund and do you know what my first thought was?" He waited for Damon to guess but when he shook his head, Jon then confesses the most mortifying thought. "I thought his hair was the exact same shade of red as that girl on the plane has. Tormund thought I was gay, the way I was checking him out."
This time he joined in as they laugh out loud while thinking someone made Tormund uncomfortable.
"It took weeks for me to convince him that I was straight, he then inquired why I was looking at him strangely and I was going to tell him all about that girl but.."
"But what?" Damon asks curiously.
"But I couldn't bring up her face. It was all blurry and all I can recall is her hair colour."
Jon sighed as he remembers those frustrating months when he tried his best to remember anything about her but no matter what he did, all that comes to his mind was her hair.
"So here I was, finally managed to forget all about her and now a year later longing to remember each and every detail. Whenever I see a girl with the same shade, I wouldn't hesitate to approach her. I knew it was madness but something in me was hoping to continue with that search."
He went quiet again and Damon then asks him. "So did you ever?"
Jon wanted to tell him, that now he did but first he needs to finish that part of his story. "It was my second year here and new recruits arrived in our Centre when my eyes fell on a girl who has an exact shade of red that was haunting me for two years. So naturally, I approach her and ask straight out. 'Have we met before?'
That girl name is Ygritte and she felt amused and thought I was flirting with her but after few minutes it was clear that she wasn't the one and I felt devastated and decided to give up on this mad quest."
Damon watched sadness in his eyes as he continues with a sigh. "The thing is that even though I gave up and walked away, it was Ygritte who start pursuing me and first few weeks I ignored her advances but then we were paired in one assignment and few months into it we get closer."
"You fell in love with her," Damon ask and there was understanding in his eyes but Jon knew that no one can truly understand what he felt.
"Love! I admire her and thought that over the years I will fell in love with her but years go by and all we managed to establish was a perfect comfortable relationship. I accepted my new life and Ygritte was a solid part of my life so I bought a ring for her and was going to propose her on the day when our promotions were about to announce.
That day finally arrived and after the announcement, I was hoping to get her alone so I can propose her but instead, I found her kissing my competitor."
"Jon, I." But he shakes his head and finished his drink. "Don't apologize because truth is that even though her betrayal hurt me at the time, it was quite easier for me to move on from the failure of four years of relationship. At the time I thought it was easier because she got to transfer a few days later but now I know that she was not someone I truly desired."
He scoffed because he just repeated Ygritte's words and those words make him question out loud. "I mean what one truly desires? I just bumped into my Ex a few hours ago who told me that our relationship was always doomed, to begin with, because I never truly desire her!"
Jon felt frustrated as he thought about Sansa and the word desire only came into his existence when he first saw her, but now...
" Truth to be told, I don't even know what I truly desire?"
"Now that's not true. You desire what everyone want in their life." Damon simply stated in a matter of fact way.
"Care to share what that is?" Jon found himself asking and saw Damon's eyes go soft. "I will tell you what I told my wife a few days after we met."
He then turned to face him and even though there was a smile on his face, his eyes, on the other hand, were filled with wisdom. "You want to love that consumes you. You want passion, an adventure and even a little bit of danger but most importantly you need someone to make you believe in yourself."
Jon felt his words making a deep impact on his mind and soul.
Damon slowly gets up and put a few dollars underneath his glass. He then gently pat Jon's shoulder as he told him. "I hope you found your desire soon."
With that, he was about to leave when he heard Jon's voice. "That girl, the one on the plane, the one I had been searching for years even when I forgot all about her. What if I told you I found her after all these years and she is the one I truly ever desire?"
Jon was expecting some wise words about moving on or about hoping for the best but instead, all Damon said. "If that's what you truly desire then I swear that this time I won't come between you and Sansa."
Damon couldn't help but smirk at his shocked face but inside he was smiling with joy because behind that shocked face Damon can sense Jon's all-consuming love for Sansa.
And he can sense this because that's how he felt for Elena, a love that consumes his entire life.
############
Author 's Note.
Here you go another chapter of this story and I hope that cleared your six years confusion. Please send me your reviews and motivate me to write more and more.
