VII
The mess we're in
Streets of Manchester
1775
Rose walks heavy footed down the cobbled streets of Manchester with her hands dug in her coat pockets. The sky has a very dark blue hue and the streets are not quite dark yet. But Rose starts to feel hopeless and continues to feel utterly alone. She can tell that Max was suspicious of her when she went to see him but she wanted to leave his house the second she knocked on the door.
The Doctor was very adamant that they should leave Manchester immediately. But now he is stuck elsewhere, Rose is here alone. And she is afraid that the more time she spends near Max, things might get more complicated then they already are.
Rose tries to ignore the fact that she has been putting off going to see Horace again. She realises that she is more scared of coming across the two children than actually meeting Horace himself, but she keeps telling herself that she must visit him at the break of dawn the following day. After she has composed herself and sleeps for the night.
Rose keeps her head down as she continues to walk through the streets that are getting darker by the minute. She passes quite a few people who also look as if they are in as much as a rush as Rose is. Some look a little untrustworthy and she finds herself turning corners and finding alternate routes back to the Tardis. She walks alongside the river but she only gets so far down the road until she hears a voice calling out her name. The voice is quiet and very weak but from the expression in the voice and the tone, Rose instantly knows who it is and temporarily, dread runs through her.
Rose stops walking and turns around to see April Hollerford standing on the pavement not far from her. April looks unhealthily pale and her hair sits messily over her shoulders. Her arms hang limply down by her sides and she looks more fearful than ever.
Without even thinking twice about it, Rose suddenly finds herself running over to April and holds her tightly in her arms. April accepts the embrace as she buries her face in Rose's shoulder. Finally someone she feels at ease with.
"It's okay," Rose says softly. "I've got you. It's going to be alright." She holds onto April tighter as she feels her shaking in her arms.
There is a quiet pub further down the road that Rose takes them to, after April says that she isn't too keen on returning to the Tardis just yet. They are silent on their walk and once they enter the pub, the owners are ecstatic at their arrival. They swarm April and Rose like flies, asking them what drinks they want and that food is on the house. Rose can tell that the pub doesn't often get guests but she informs the owners that they will order when they please. With that, Rose drags April over to a table hidden in the corner of the pub, and April slumps heavily into the seat.
Rose turns to the bar and orders two glasses of water. When she returns to their table, she suddenly realises how vacant April's eyes are. Her scowl is as prominent and as harsh as it was when they first met two years ago, and often April will just blankly look into the distance. Her mind is wondering elsewhere. Rose knows that the Doctor is correct: April wouldn't be the same as before after what she has been through. Her mind has just turned for the worse.
Giving her the news of the Doctor's and Terry's whereabouts is not going to be an easy task.
"What's on your mind?" Rose asks softly.
April does not reply but stares down at the table.
"April, please talk to me."
"What do you think?" April's words are just about coherent.
"I don't know because I cannot compare what you go through with your nightmare," Rose leans back in her chair. "Your nightmare you never once mentioned to us."
April glares at Rose for a moment before sheepishly looking down at the sticky table. "When I opened the Tardis doors I wasn't expecting to see eighteenth century England."
Rose smiles at April's words. "Well the Doctor wanted something different."
"We're during the Industrial Revolution?"
Rose nods. For a fleeting moment April looks pleased and a little excited by the thought but as she continues to glare at Rose, Rose can't tell if it was only a trick of the light that made April look a little hopeful. Rose sighs heavily.
"Where are the Doctor and Terry?" April asks abruptly.
"Around."
"Really? That's great to know because that's not what the Tardis told me."
Rose avoids April's eye as she looks down at the candle sitting to the side of the table. She cannot help but feel jealous for April having a stronger connection to the Tardis then she does.
"The Doctor is not here with us and I know that because it's not often that I would find you pondering around on your own," April continues. "Even the Tardis is helplessly calling out for him because he is nowhere in reach. So where is he?"
Rose looks at April for a long while before swallowing what feels like a sharp pebble in her throat. "He and Terry are stuck in this city. At the turn of the century."
There is a long pause.
Rose purses her lips and she thinks about going around explaining what has happened since they arrived while April slept. It makes little sense in Rose's mind, especially with the fear of the Devil, and she does not know how to go about putting everything into words. "April, he was taken from us and has been locked in time. It's our job to rescue him."
April says nothing but only scowls at Rose.
Rose pulls out the DVD case from her coat pocket and passes it to April. "It's an Easter Egg the Doctor created. You can communicate with him just by watching it. The Tardis translates your words to him so he knows what you are about to say."
"What did he say?"
"That we have to bring him back."
April looks at Rose for a moment before she puts the DVD case down onto the table. For a few moments the only thought that is running though her mind is that the Doctor has followed her demand and has well and truly cleared off. And once again they have to save him. She runs her fingers through her knotted hair. "Every single time." She mutters.
"What?"
"How many times is it gonna be up to us to save the Doctor?" April snaps.
"I'm sure we'll find a way to figure everything out," Rose says a little less sympathetically. "What are your motives?"
April's scowls deepens but she continues with her silence.
"Well just tell me what's currently going through your mind right now instead of keeping it quiet. I would like to help if I can."
April lets out a loud shaky sigh as she glances over to the bar. She nervously drums her fingers on the table top as she thinks for a short while. "All I can think about is how cold it was there." She begins.
Instantly Rose knows that she is talking about her nightmare.
"I feel that perhaps to find out why this has happened, I need to feel that depth of coldness again," She pauses or a moment. "I guess that's my motive," She looks up at Rose with fearful eyes. "I don't even know what I'm thinking. But maybe that will help explain something to me. I just wouldn't know where to start."
"You know your nightmare more than any of us do, but maybe when we get the Doctor back he'll be able to help. There's just a job I need to complete first."
"Rose, we'll just have to jump into the Tardis, track him down and pick him and Terry up. I do know how to fly it."
"Except that we can't, April," Rose says firmly. "It wouldn't work. We have to destroy what it was that pulled them back."
Silence fills the pub again and April slumps back into her seat. Rose leans forward.
"We can work on this together."
April continues to glare at Rose, feeling a lot more ease with her presence. She looks at how tired Rose seems and knows that she must sleep for the night, but like herself, Rose probably will stay up for the night, wanting to do anything to bring the Doctor back.
As she sits there looking at Rose, she also starts to realise that this has been the longest conversation they've had since April first jumped in with their travels.
"If I can help you try and figure out your nightmare, then you could help me get back to the Doctor. If we work together then we can get to the bottom of our problems quickly."
"Did the Doctor ever figure out why there is an inhuman feeling around here?" April only mumbles her words but Rose still understands.
Rose hesitates. "How did you know?"
"Working with UNIT for nearly two years I learnt to easily tell the difference between what's human and not."
Rose suddenly smiles as if she suddenly finds the whole situation amusing. "It's not alien though," She says. "The people we've spoken to since we've arrived have this sudden fear that the Devil has killed God and is now taking over."
There is a long pause as April and Rose look at each other.
Despite the constant fear April has felt since she woke up that she is trying to hide, and the pain in her chest that still tickles her throat, April manages to smile weakly out of amusement as a small laugh escapes her. But the smile vanishes as soon as it comes.
"Really?" She asks in disbelief.
"I'm afraid so." Rose replies.
April nods. "Once again we're in a lot of shit."
Then there is another pause as April scowls at the sticky table top again. Rose watches her and can tell that her mind has wondered elsewhere again.
For some odd reason Rose feels as if she cannot bring herself to tell April about her long lost twin brother as since her parent's death, April has no idea of ever having a twin – the Cytracik made April lose that memory. Nor does Rose feel ready to explain about these weeping angels that took the Doctor away. She wants to do her own investigation upon the matter before talking to April, knowing that April has enough on her mind right now.
However April also feels the same in the fact that she does not want to mention about the shadow she saw after she woke up as even she isn't too sure if what she saw is real.
Soon they leave the pub and walk back to the Tardis down the dark roads. Stars fill the sky and both April and Rose are anxious about anything that might be lurking in the shadows, but neither says anything. They pick up their speed until they are back in the Tardis. Even though it has been a safe haven for both Rose and April, they cannot shake off the ghostly atmosphere it holds, especially now that the Doctor and Terry are no longer there with them.
The night wears on and April curls herself up on the chair as she looks at the console. Rose has gone to sleep. The Tardis continues to hum as usual but it does nothing to else ease April's tension. As she sits there, all she can think about is her nightmare and how it has changed for some unknown reason. No matter how many times April tries to divert her thoughts to the case of the Doctor's and Terry's whereabouts, the image of the beach and the Black Lighthouse always comes back to her. Maybe her nightmare has changed because it is trying to tell her something. But the situation of the young girl living with her father has no relation to April at all.
April tries to think about the Doctor as much as she can, trying to force her nightmare out of her head, but her last memory suddenly comes back to her. She remembers standing not far from where she is now sat, yelling at the Doctor because he has truly let her down. She remembers telling him that she wants him to clear off.
And now he has. Literally.
She then starts to think about Will and the hurtful look in his eyes as she slowly tried to push him away. April regrets doing that and now wishes nothing more than to have him here with her. She knows that she was taking advantage of him. She thought that separating herself from him for a short while would do them both some good, but she wasn't expecting the Doctor to sneak up on her to take her away.
April told Will that she loves him and she still does. She wishes that she can take him back.
April's eyes starts to fill with tears once again and she angrily wipes them away, feeling frustrated with herself for crying at nearly everything. She is thankful that Rose has left her to sleep elsewhere in the Tardis.
The memories in the parallel world haunts her, right from the moment she first landed on the snow covered ground in the cul-de-sac whence she used to live. Her time there has brought the best out of her; UNIT brought the best out of her and now that has all been taken away. She can never go back because UNIT is dead. Will Sullivan is dead and in this world they had never met.
The thought sickens April to the stomach and all of a sudden she really starts to feel like she is going to be sick. Bile burns in her stomach and just as she starts to feel it rising in her throat, April clambers off the chair and falls heavily on all fours. She retches violently but nothing comes up. Her throat burns from the acidic bile in her stomach but still nothing comes out.
April's arms soon gives way underneath her and she falls sideways onto the floor, shivering with a cold sweat. She whimpers as she hugs her knees close to her chest, sobbing silently on the floor just beside the console. April can only ask herself what has she done to deserve such torture. She had hope once she ran away from the shape shifter that killed Bruce Fey, but matters have only got worse and death is on her mind again. April constantly tells herself over and over again in her mind how much she hates herself.
All April can think of is how she can end her life painlessly.
April curls herself tightly into a ball as she shivers violently. However she is unaware that her sobs are audible across the Tardis. Her eyes are closed tightly and there is nothing but darkness, but after what seems like forever April feels someone tug at her arms.
Rose is woken up with a start. For a moment she thinks that the cries are in her dream but the moment she realises that she is conscious, Rose knows that the cries are not from her dreams. Instantly she jumps straight out of bed and rushes out her room, calling for April. She runs through the long winding corridors till she finds herself in the console room.
April is curled up in a ball on the floor just beside the console. She is a quivering wreck and even Rose can tell that the humming from the Tardis seems more urgent and less calm.
Rose does not hesitate before rushing to April's side. She drops to her knees and starts to tug at April's arms. April's eyes are glazed over with fear. It is almost as if she is in a trance, lost in the fears of her private life. Rose pulls her into her arms, holding her close to her.
April clutches onto Rose's arms around her as she sobs. "I don't want to live any more!"
"It's okay," Rose says softly as she rocks April gently from side to side. "We'll get this all sorted, I promise."
April's cries ceases eventually and she only shakes in Rose's arms. Rose holds her there for a while and refuses to let April go until she is at ease again.
