Yuki and Yuno were on the couch watching TV.

"Y'know, Yuno..." Yuki laughed at his unintentional pun. "I always kinda felt bad for the Grinch. Like, the Whos are just obnoxious little cunts. Loud fuckers."

"Yeah, I kinda noticed that when I was around ten."

"I've always noticed it. Me and mom used to always watch it together."

"Yeah, my family had some Christmas traditions, too."

"Me and dad had one, too. It was probably the only time we ever got along. The Christmas B And E was my favorite tradition."

"...The what?"

"The Christmas B And E. Y'know, like where you go into your neighbors' houses before they wake up, and you get your presents, and then you leave, and then they wake up and get their presents? And you're not allowed to tell mom because it's a guy thing and so dad has to tell her he got a raise at the job he lost five months ago for being drunk all the time?"

"Yeah, I, uh, I never did that."

"Makes sense, you're a girl."

"Nobody does that."

"Yeah, they do! Yo, Keigo," he called out to Keigo in the kitchen, "back me up on this!"

"Yuki, considering the amount of times I've arrested your father, it's probably bullshit."

"Damn."

"I think I've actually arrested you once, about two years back."

"Yeah, me and Ouja got drunk and beat the shit out of each other. Anyway, Yuno, what were your family's traditions?"

"Definitely when the Santas came to the house to cheer my mom up when my dad was at work. I had most of the house to myself for hours, so I could do whatever I wanted. Mainly, sniffing glue. I got a ton of presents, like basketballs, crack pipes, wrenches, stuff kids like. The Santas even brought elves." Yuno paused. "I mean...I think they were elves. Could've been midgets. My memory's kinda weird about that for some reason."

"Probably the glue. Also, uh, babe, I hate to say this but...I think your mom was a Santa whore."

"What?! No, she just needed the Santas to cheer her up because she was lonely because...my dad...was always...working oh my God my mom was a Santa whore!"

"This really can't be that much of a surprise."

Meanwhile, Aru, Tsubaki, and Rei were at the mall. They were Christmas shopping with Kamado and Karyuudo. They were discussing how this was their first Christmas.

"So, Christmas looks...interesting."

"Really colorful."

"And loud. Way too many songs."

"And apparently, it involves telling children that a morbidly obese elf-like elderly man will break into their houses while they sleep and leave them presents."

"I was in a cult, and even I think that's weird."

"I never believed it for a second."

"The TV specials are nice, though."

"Yeah, Frosty's my favorite."

"My favorite part is when the children worship their ambiguously living snow golem through song."

"And they brought it to life with a stolen hat."

"I also loved Professor Hinkle's descent into madness."

"If he's a professor, does that mean the whole magician thing is like a hobby?"

"And why does Santa speak a fluent rabbit?"

"It does seem like a strange language to learn."

"If he speaks rabbit, does he also speak other animal languages?"

"Probably. Anyway, we should probably catch up with Kamado and..." He noticed Tsubaki was blushing. "What is it?" She pointed upwards to some mistletoe that was hanging from the ceiling.

"T-there, um..."

"I'll go find the others, you two can just wait here."

"Uh, yeah, see you later, Rei."

Rei walked further into the mall.

"U-um, s-so, Aru...I-I guess we're supposed to..."

"Yeah, uh, I guess we are."

Tsubaki and Aru looked into each other's eyes and moved closer.

"Hey, kids!" said Kamado, who was walking towards them with shopping bags in each hand. Rei and Karyuudo were behind her.

"...Hi, Kamado."

"You little shit, Rei," hissed Tsubaki under her breath.

"Hey, it's not my fault. This was just a happy accident."

"Hello, children."

"Shut up, Karyuudo."

"Well, fuck you too, Tsubaki."

Meanwhile, at the house, Yuki and Yuno were still watching TV.

"So, baby...I have something to tell you."

"What is it?"

"Well, you might get mad..."

"I couldn't get mad at you, Yuno. Just tell me what it is."

Kamado, Karyuudo, Aru, Tsubaki, and Rei had just drove home in the Twelfthmobile.

"And as I was saying earlier to Tsubaki and Rei," said Aru, "the whole concept of Frosty The Snowman is actually somewhat disturbing-"

He was interrupted by Yuki screaming from inside the house. Yuno had told him something, and he felt he was reacting appropriately:

"YOU INVITED MY FATHER FOR CHRISTMAS?!"