/N: Welcome to another installment of My Turn.

Yeah…I'm a day late. What's more, turns out there was one more chapter I needed to have made before the three-year chapter….

My first day as a farmer...and other stuff.

Small spoiler…I get my weapon(s?) this chapter!

Got some cool suggestions from a few of you, in reviews and a PM. In the end, I went for a suggestion in a review (with a slight edit) that has a bit of something from that PM.

Milestone reached: this story has gotten over 1000 views...awesome! Not to mention 10 more reviews! Bringing the grand total to 25!

Thank you all for reading this and thinking it's worth following and/or faving, especially since it's a self-insert. And thanks to those that review! Reading them really makes my day.

With that out of the way, let's get to the chapter!


Disclaimer: I don't own RWBY.


Ow…my aching body.

"Oh, come now. The work wasn't that bad."

I beg to differ, old man.

Cole let out a chuckle. "At least I know for sure that you haven't worked an honest day in your life."

Screw you.

I was currently lying prone on my bed, my face buried into my pillow.

Farm work…yeah, I knew I was gonna be sore by the end of it, but holy hell!

Allow me to piece together bit by bit on just what I had to deal with.


First, there was the whole "waking up at dawn" bit.

Yeah…I was not a morning person. And I did not get enough sleep.

Didn't stop the old man from pushing me off the bed when I didn't get up.

Goddamn it, Cole.

I washed the sleep out of my eyes with hot water, then got dressed in the farm clothes provided to me.

My first task had been simple: gather whatever eggs had been laid at the chicken coup.

Simple, right?

Not really.

Those chickens were evil. I took one step inside and they all ganged up on me! Pecking me everywhere! I was lucky one of them didn't poke my eye out! Or in my manhood. Now that would've hurt.

I hightailed it out of their as fast as I could. Really wish I had gotten my Aura unlocked before taking on farm work, but there wasn't enough time the day before, what with adopting Violet and getting her settled in….

And just thinking about Mini Velvet makes me want to go up to her and hug her.

Damn it.

Anyway, Cole got a good laugh out of it, which got me obviously angry. He told me to go milk the cows while he took care of the chickens.

I may or may not have wished that the chickens attacked him as well.

I had approached the cows slowly. Now, I've only seen a cow being milked on TV, and while I know how the milk is supposed to come out…that doesn't mean I'll be able to do it right.

Oh well. Trial and error.

I sat on a stool and placed a bucket underneath the cow. I slowly reached out towards one of the utters and took hold of it (gently) with my fingers.

Ok, the cow hadn't hit me yet. That was good.

Slow and steady, I pinched the utter-.

POW!

Yep. I got kicked by the cow.

I had stumbled out of the barn with my hand covering by eye.

Cole laughed all the while.

Wasn't he supposed to "show me the ropes" as he said he would?

In any case, he gave me another task, this one simple.

Feed the pigs.

Definitely something I could do. I just pour the slop in their feeding den and that's it.

Simple….

At least, it was supposed to be simple.

Soon as got to the pen, I was charged by a horde of pigs and piglets.

I got the fuck out of their before they could even get close.

In hindsight, I shouldn't have expected the animals to like me at first.

Cole pat my shoulder in comfort as I sat on a stool in defeat….

After getting over it, I was told to help him with the field.

Good. No more animals…well, for now anyway.

I had to help in pulling out the freshly grown plants so that they could be replaced with new seeds.

It was easy, yet demanding work. Having to bend over or kneel down tends to hurt ones back and knees. I pulled out the plants, while Cole planted the seeds.

Did I mention the field was huge? An acre is comparable to a football field…and there were four acres, a 2x2 land. Meaning four football fields if they were aligned 2x2.

It wasn't fun.

Then there was the gathering of hay. This farm didn't have farm equipment (the Grimm would just end up destroying it), so we had to do it manually.

Also not fun.

I was a pile of sweat by the time we were done. What was worse was that I had to go near the cows again to give them some of the hay collected.

That one cow remembered me and chased me all around the farm.

It didn't help that Cole just laughed all the while.

Though Mini Velv- er, Violet had also woken up by now and was currently giggling herself silly on the front porch, which made her even more adorable.

Guess it was about…12% worth it getting chased by the cow.

For some reason, Cole decided to have Violet help out…you know, despite the fact she was three years old.

Even though all she had to do was spread chicken feed among the chickens as the milled about…wait, no. Those chickens were evil!

I dashed towards her, only to once again get ganged up on by the chickens.

Evil! Evil, I say!

They backed off once Violet happily threw chicken feed everywhere.

I slowly sat up to watch as the chickens pecked at the ground for their food as Mini Vel- er, Violet continued spreading the chicken feed.

Not one chicken tried to peck her.

Damn right, they didn't. Why hurt someone that adorable? I bet the chickens new that too.

She happily skipped back to the house after finishing her task….

Damn it, I wanna hug her!

Cole helped me up and told me to help him with herding the cattle…meaning I had to get on a horse.

Yeah, I already knew where this was going.

With a saddle in hand, I had stared at the horse warily, while it in return stared back. I took a step forward, only to back off when it snorted at me menacingly.

Alright…I needed to do this carefully.

I raised my empty hand up in a placating manner while slowly approaching. The horse didn't snort again, eyeing me curiously.

I was within touching distance when it snorted again, this time not menacingly.

Time to see if watching TV pays off for once.

I slowly reach out my empty hand to pet the horse. It snorts when I'm halfway there, causing me to freeze, with a deep breath, I reach out some more. It snorted again when I was about to touch it. I froze again, but steeled my nerves and placed my hand on its snout.

It didn't freak out.

I then began petting the horse's snout slowly, hoping for a reaction I wanted….

And I got it.

The horse actually moved into the petting, allowing me to pet its head and neck.

At least one of the animals didn't attack me. Though I'm not letting my guard down.

Still petting it, I made my way to its midsection and carefully placed the saddle on its back. It snorted, but stayed still.

Alright, time to mount the horse.

I placed a foot on the step and raised my leg over the horse's back….

Then immediately realized I fucked up.

I was currently facing the wrong way.

Goddamn it.

As if this wasn't enough, the horse decided to mess with me and gallop away, with me riding backwards. I screamed, yet could still hear Cole's laughter and Mini Velv- er, Violet's giggling.

After running around for a minute or two, the horse decided to throw me off its back. I landed on the ground with a thud.

Seriously regret not getting my Aura unlocked for this.

The adorable face of Mini Velv- er, Violet, appeared above me.

"Are yu okay?"

I groaned and sat up slowly. "Y-Yeah, I'm alright."

Violet scrunched up her face in thought, which only elevated her cuteness.

"…Yu need a hug!"

Wait, wha-?

Violet wrapped her arms around my neck and hugged me….

I was too shocked to hug her back, and she already let go.

She beamed at me. "Aw bettur now!"

…Strangely enough, I did feel better. Not physically, but mentally.

That hug got me through the rest of the farm work.


Which leads to now.

My body ached all over, and all I wanted to do was sleep.

"Don't fall asleep, boy, cause today you're joining the militia."

Crap. I forgot about that.

"Five more minutes~."

"Nope. Up now."

I was going to get back at him for pushing me off the bed twice now.


Before I could shamble out the door, Cole stopped me and showed me this box.

"Take these with you."

I raised an eyebrow at him, but took the box. I opened it to find….

Cole smiled at my shocked look. "Yeah, it's a good thing you were named Colt Remington, huh?"

It was a good thing I chose that name to be my new name.

What I was looking at were two revolvers. Not Remnant-looking revolvers either. These looked like honest-to-God (or should I now say honest-to-Oum?) revolvers from the Old West!

Well…not completely. There was a small scythe blade attached to the back of each revolver, so that, if I wanted to, I could hold the guns by their barrels and use the small scythes for melee. There was enough space between the grips and the small scythes so that I could wield them without hurting myself….

Yeah, these will work fine. They look simple and easy to use, and I'd bet maintaining them is simple as well.

Plus…I'm a sucker for revolvers. I just like the look. Why else would I make sure my idiot of an OC used revolvers? He also used a double-barreled shotgun and a lever-action rifle, but that's beside the point.

I carefully took both revolvers and held them by the grip, looking them over.

"…Why?"

Cole grinned. "You need a weapon if you're joining the militia. Plus, this way you won't have to go through learning to use a sword, or Oum forbid be stuck fighting with a hoe."

Yeah. That would've looked silly.

"These look old," I commented.

"That's because they are. You're looking at some of the first multi-purpose weapons ever made. Long before people decided weapons should transform instead of look like two weapons put together. Also, they use .44 magnum Dust rounds, so they'll pack quite the punch on a Grimm."

I suddenly thought of the movie Dirty Harry, starring Clint Eastwood….

Note to self, use that movie's famous line if I ever get the chance.

In any case…this was amazing.

These weapons were one of the first, and they were still in good condition….

"A-Are you sure?" I asked to be sure.

"Take them. I mean it."

I could see the look on his face meant he was serious.

I nodded. "Okay."

With a smile, he handed me a belt that had two holsters on it. I put the belt on around my waist and holstered both revolver/mini-scythes, one on each side.

"What are their names?" I asked.

Cole shrugged. "Eh, never got around to naming them."

I gawked. "Seriously? After all this time?"

"Yeah. I only associated the naming stuff with Huntsman and Huntresses, so I didn't bother. You can come up with a name for them, if you want."

Hmm…maybe later. Right now, I've got somewhere to be.

With a final nod, I stepped out the door-.

"Bye, Mishtur Remmytun!"

I jumped at the sound coming from my left. I look to see Mini Velv- er, Violet, smiling at me.

I really looked forward to the day when she started calling me Dad, or Daddy, but that's some time away.

But still….

"You can just call me Colt, if you'd like."

Violet scrunched up her face in thought for a moment.

"Bye, Colt!"

I left the farm smiling.

Baby steps, Colt. Baby steps.


I stared in front of the cottage where the retired Huntsman was living.

All I had to do was knock on the door and go from there.

Simple as that.

Still, maybe I should prepare something to say….

As Semi-Perfect Cell from Dragon Ball Z Abridged would say: Oh well, in for a penny….

I just realized I'd never get to finish seeing that abridged series.

Fuck!

Putting my understandable anger in the back of my mind, I knocked on the door.

I knocked again.

I knocked aga-.

"HOLD YOUR HORSES! I'M COMING!"

I could hear some footsteps approaching the door. I took a step back and straightened my cap, as well as pat any dust off of me.

The door opened.

"What do you want?!"

The man before me was middle-aged. He currently wore an attire that was a cross between Hawkeye from the Marvel movies and Green Arrow from the CW television series Arrow….

And now I just realized I'd never get to watch anymore Marvel movies…or finish Arrow, but mostly the movies.

DAMN IT! I was looking forward to Dr. Strange! And Black Panther! And Spider-Man! And Guardians of the Galaxy 2! And all those other Marvel movies! Especially the eventual Avengers: Infinity Wars! That would've been the shit!

Off topic.

Anyway, the man basically had the clothing of Hawkeye (albeit with camouflage coloring), with a hood similar to Green Arrow. Hell, there was even a bow and arrow on his back.

Wonder if there are any trick arrows? Or simply arrows imbedded with Dust?

Eh, I'll find out some other time.

"Um, hello," I began. "I was told to come see you about joining the militia?"

The man looked me up and down.

"…You don't look like much," he finally said.

I shrugged. "I figured farm work and being in the militia will help with that."

The man raised an eyebrow. "Ohhhh…so you're Barton's new farmhand?"

"I am."

"…Does that mean you actually adopted that little girl, Violet?"

I probably should've realized that everyone knew everyone. It's a small village after all.

"I did," I answered with a nod.

The man hummed. "…Well, I'm gonna need to test you before I can let you join."

"Okay…how?"


Why did I ask that?

The man, who was named Vert Bowman, had knocked me out and taken me to a certain part of the forest. When I woke up, I found a note on me that read as follows:

Alright, kid. If you want to join the militia, you're gonna need to find your way back to the village. Just follow the smoke and you'll be fine. However, you'll find that your trip back won't be uneventful. This forest is full of Grimm, and you're gonna have to fight to survive. I'm actually watching you, so you won't have to worry about dying if you fail. I'm not THAT heartless. Good luck.

-Vert.

Goddamn it, Vert. You just lost some points in my book.

With a sigh, I stood up and searched above the trees until I found the familiar rising smoke from the village.

I began my walk.

As I did so, I decided to let my mind wander over what all the little (yet big) things I'd be missing from Earth (I had already mourned the important stuff, like my family and past life).

No more Markiplier.

No more CinemaSins videos.

No more Honest Trailers from Screen Junkies.

No more wrestling…what? I don't care that it was fake! It was still entertaining! Especially since they did the brand split and brought back the WWE Draft!

Anyway…no more TV.

No more Red vs. Blue.

No more X-ray and Vav. Not to mention I haven't even given Camp Camp a try yet.

…No more RWBY Chibi.

No more RWBY or RWBY fanfiction!

No more writing my own RWBY fanfictions!

"SON OF A BITCH!" I screamed to the heavens.

GRRRR.

I slowly turned around to find a Beowolf standing on its hind legs, growling at me….

"Shit."

The Beowolf roared and leaped at me. I immediately dodged out of the way and pulled out my right revolver/mini-scythe, aiming for its head.

BANG!

Part of its head and brains blew out. It slumped to the floor, its body disintegrating.

Holy crap…I just killed a Beowolf! Granted, it was a young one, so blowing its brains out was easy, especially since .44 magnum (Dust) rounds packed a mean punch, but still! My first Grimm kill!

"FUCK YEAH!"

GRRR.

GRRR.

ROAR!

Goddamn it.

I turned to find three more Beowolves growling at me. Not waiting for an attack, I immediately blew the brains out of the nearest one. The other two got smart and lunged for me. I quickly ducked behind a tree and ran to the left of where I was originally going.

I wasn't about to lead the Grimm to the village.

I heard the two Beowolves chasing after me. I ducked past another tree and aimed my revolver/mini-scythe hybrid. A Beowolf appeared-.

BANG!

And it's left lower arm dangled from its elbow. It roared in pain-.

BANG!

Which was silenced by a shot to the head.

"Two down…one to go."

I took aim for the Beowolf that would appear from behind the tree….

Well, it was supposed to appear, anyway.

ROAR!

Fuck!

I fell to the ground as the Beowolf lunged at me from the side. As I got up, it made to claw at me. I quickly backed up, causing the Beowolf to tear a chunk of the tree next to me.

That could've been me.

I quickly raised my revolver/mini-scythe, but the Beowolf lunged a final time, catching me off guard.

I fell to the floor, the Beowolf keeping me down with its left claw. It raised its right claw to maul me. Panicking, I flipped the revolver/mini-scythe so that I was holding it by the barrel and stabbed it against the left claw.

The Beowolf screeched and backed off, allowing me to draw my other revolver/mini-scythe. I may be right handed, but I think I could still aim properly…maybe.

I shot at it-.

BANG!

Only to hit its shoulder.

Okay, I needed to practice using my left hand for aiming, cause I was aiming for its head.

The Beowolf roared in pain and made to jump at me-.

BANG!

Only to roar again when I hit its other shoulder.

BANG! BANG!

And now I shot both its knees out.

Don't ask me how that's possible when I was aiming for its head.

The Beowolf fell to the ground, unable to stand up….

Well, time to finish this.

I got close to the crippled Grimm and aimed right at its head….

Oh, I couldn't resist.

"I know what you're thinking," I began. "Did he fire six shots, or only fi-?"

Wait, I fired four times.

I aimed up and fired a round, then aimed back at the Beowolf.

"Did he fire six shots, or only five?"

The Beowolf glared at me.

"Well to tell you the truth in all this excitement I kinda lost track myself. But being this is a .44 Magnum, the most powerful handgun in the world-."

Not sure if that was true on Remnant, but still.

"-and would blow your head clean off, you've gotta ask yourself one question: Do I feel lucky? Well, do ya, pu-?"

The Beowolf snapped at me.

"OH FUCK!"

BANG!

A part of its head was blown off.

Note to self: don't take the time to say a line when dealing with a creature of Grimm.

I sighed and made to go in the direction of the village-.

GRRRR.

Oh, come on!

I turn with my right revolver/mini-scythe raised and fired a shot.

BANG!

Only for the round to be completely ineffective against the skull.

Then again…this was an Alpha Beowolf.

Shit.

"U-Um, Mr. Bowman?" I stuttered. "I-If your near me, I-I could use some help!"

FLOOP! FLOOP!

No sooner had I called for help, two arrows flew out and imbedded themselves into the eye sockets of the Alpha. It screeched in rage and pain-.

BOOM!

Only to be silenced by the two arrows exploding, its carcass falling to the ground soon after.

Some footsteps behind me made me turn around and see Vert with his bow in hand.

"Told ya I was watching you."

I sigh in relief. "Thank go- Oum."

Need to get used to saying that.

"So…how'd I do?"

Vert hummed. "…Well, these were only young Beowolves, but you handled yourself pretty well. Turns out you're a good shot….with your right hand anyway."

Actually, I'm pretty sure I got lucky with those two first kills.

"You need to practice with your left to get accustomed to it. Not to mention train to fight with the sickle parts of your weapons properly."

That much I figured out.

"What are their names?"

…Oh.

Well, it's not like I could just come up with names for the on the fly or anything…could I?

I gazed at the revolver/mini-scythe hybrids and thought it over.

"Lucky and the Mysterious Magnum."

Left one's Lucky, and the right's the Mysterious Magnum.

Thank you, Fallout New Vegas.

Vert raised an eyebrow. "That last one's a mouthful."

I shrugged. "MM for short?"

"…Better."

I grinned, holstering the revolver/mini-scythe hybrids.

"Right," Vert said. "Let's get on to the village."

He and I made our way out of the forest….

"Oh right, I forgot."

Vert stopped and grabbed my shoulders, keeping me in place.

"What are you-?"

He placed his hand on my chest and began a chant.

"For it is in passing that we achieve immortality. Through this, we become a paragon of virtue and glory to rise above all. Infinite in distance and unbound by death, I release your soul, and by my shoulder, protect thee."

For a brief moment, I suddenly felt like I could take on the world. At that point, I was glowing.

The moment didn't last, and the glowing stopped.

"There we go," Vert said. "I just unlocked your Aura. Now you're ready to join my militia."

Vert began to walk in the direction of the village.

I stared at my hands.

I can't believe it. I have an Aura now! This means I can have a Semblance and…wait.

I gawked at Vert. "You left me in this forest without an Aura?!"

Vert stopped and turned to me with a blank look.

"…Whoops."

He turned back towards the village.

And now he just lost more points in my book.


I finally returned to the farm late at night. Vert had kept me behind to go over some things, such as when the militia had meetings and when I should practice my shooting and melee combat.

I stumbled through the door and was greeted by the sight of Cole sitting on the couch, with Mini Velv- er, Violet sleeping soundly next to him.

"She wanted to wait for you," the old man said.

I smiled. Those baby steps really worked out.

"You want to tuck her into bed?"

…Yes. A thousand times yes!

I gently scooped up Violet, who nuzzled against me in comfort, bringing a smile to my face.

She was even more adorable when she was asleep.

I walked up the stairs with her in my arms and brought her into her room. I gently laid her down and covered her with the blanket. Her face scrunched in discomfort at losing her previous sleeping spot, and she shuffled a bit.

I pursed my lips in thought…then got a bold idea.

I was pretty sure I wasn't meant to do this until me and her bonded a bit more, but desperate times called for desperate measures.

I leaned forward and gave her a gentle kiss on the top of her head, then pat her between her bunny ears.

Violet let out a small smile and turned on her side, sleeping contently.

Seeing this brought a bigger smile to my face.

Maybe raising a kid won't be so bad after all.

I quietly left the room and slowly shut the door, making the click as quiet as possible.

Cole smiled. "Looks like you're on the right track, sonny."

I waved him off. "She was asleep. She probably thought I was someone else. Had she been awake, she'd have probably freaked out."

"Don't be so modest, boy. You and she will get along just fine."

I certainly hope so. Then again, if she was willing to give me a hug after I hurt myself on that horse earlier, then maybe Cole was right and I was earning her favor and trust….

Slowly, of course. These things take time.

Cole wished me a good night and retired to his room. I myself went to my own room and immediately fell on my bed.

Once again, I'd have to wake up at dawn.

As for today…despite all the mishaps, today was a good day.

I knew I'd get the hang of farm life eventually, and I'd make sure to properly use my revolver/sickle hybrids. Maybe not to Huntsman/Huntress level, or even to In-training level, but I'd do well.

And I'd be the best father Violet ever had.

With those final thoughts, I let sleep take me.


A/N: And so concludes my first day of farm work…and the militia as well. Looks like I'm on the way to being a good parent for Mini Velv- er, Violet.

Also got my weapons: Two revolvers that have a mini scythe attached to the end of each, with the rounds being .44 magnum Dust rounds. Shout out to xXMajorMonkeyXx for the suggestion (I made a slight edit to it) and kboomerjr (the guy who PM'd me) for a part of his suggestion being the ammo type. I liked Dirty Harry. Never got to see the sequels though….

Oh, yeah. Killed my first Grimm(s)! Though obviously I wasn't gonna be able to fight the Alpha. Again, no overpowering.

And now I've got my Aura unlocked. Not sure what my Semblance will be though. I'm sure it'll come to me eventually.

Again, sorry this wasn't the three-year chapter, but it's up next! I'm thinking that each year I'll have to deal with something that involves a RWBY character. Which ones…well, you'll have to wait and see.

I really like writing this. I think I might keep to daily updates, if I can help it.

If you liked this and want to be kept up to date, be sure to follow and fav. Leave a review to tell me your thoughts.

See you all (hopefully) tomorrow!

LATERS!