Chapter seven
I want to live here
Natalie kept her focus on the windscreen, she didn't even think she could be in this moment. Her hands on her lap, it was a long weekend, but she felt him sitting in the driver seat. Natalie knew he was watching her.
"You ready?" Owen reached over the gap, his hand touched her shoulder seeing her staring forward.
Natalie swallowed a dry lump in her throat, "They all know." She spoke quietly, her eyes kept forward. "I think I might be the dumbest person ever."
"You're not dumb." Owen tried to get her attention.
She felt his hand moving away from her, and she couldn't stop studying his face from the reflecting on the windscreen. "Owen, I could be something better." Her face turning to search deeper into his eyes.
He nodded, "Yes," he felt himself watching her. "And we talked about this." He pointed out with a very careful tone. "You want this life."
"I know," Natalie finally relaxed in the chair. "They know what I could be, and I know what I can be."
"Nat!" Owen cut her off, "I didn't spend my whole weekend changing your flat, throwing away things." He tried to not roll his eyes. "Remember what we talked about."
"Today is a new day, I start to live now." She reached into the foot well and picked up her bag. "And I am not going to focus too much on what people think." She stopped seeing Owen. "But..."
"No but!" Owen took his seatbelt off, and he pointed at her. "We are going to work." He thought about everything that had gone on.
Natalie opened the door getting out of the car finally, she knew it wasn't going to be easy, but she had to try. "You know you can be so bossy."
"Well. second in command, kinda like a boss." Owen playfully pushed Natalie forward towards the hub. "So I order you to stop worrying about the others."
Natalie did a fake salute as she walked backwards to the entrance, "Okay second in command." She laughed before tripping up.
Owen rolled his eyes helping her to her feet, "I swear you are an idiot." He laughed at the lost expression on her face. "But you're a nice one."
"Thanks," Natalie brushed her jeans, "Guess it's time to face the music." She pushed through to see that Tosh was already in deep on her computer, then Ianto was in the kitchen.
Ianto tried to be subtle as he watched Natalie and Owen entering the hub, both of them seemed in a good mood. Part of Ianto didn't know what he was going to do, he felt his eyes following Natalie.
"I thought I remembered saying act normal..." Jack's voice blunt.
Ianto dropped a mug as he jumped to face Jack. "I'm acting normal."
"You're lurking," Jack pointed out, but stood closer to Ianto. "She's going to be nervous."
Ianto picked the mug up, "I'm not acting any different." His voice dropped, but he didn't know why. "Just she's come here with Owen and..." He stopped feeling nervous. "He's behind me..."
"Yea I am," Owen cleared his throat, "I thought you guys were going to be cool." He pointed to Jack, "You told me you talked to them."
Jack crossed his arms across his chest, "I have spoke to them." For a moment Jack straightened himself up. "I was just talking to Ianto." He glanced behind Owen to see that Natalie was at her desk, she was getting on with her work, but Jack could see Tosh's eyes staring. "I'm guessing no one listens."
Owen turned to see Tosh, "I'm guessing that I'm going to be." He stopped turning to look at Ianto. "Why the face?"
"It's just, you really like her." Ianto didn't mean to laugh, but he couldn't stop himself from letting the chuckles out.
"Fucker!" Owen punched Ianto's arm, "I can be a nice bloke." For a moment Ianto was staring at Owen with Jack. He could feel both of them watching his expression. "You know, fuck the both of you."
Jack broke into a grin as Owen stormed away, his attention back on Ianto. "Just try not to make it obvious." He tapped his arm with a smile, "Date night." He pointed before grabbing his coffee mug pouring out his coffee.
"Yes," Ianto felt himself starting to look over to Natalie's computer again. "And she's a Time Lady?" He asked feeling lost.
"She's Natalie," Jack pointed out, he nudged Ianto with his shoulder. "And she's going through something." He added while thinking back to the pervious week.
Ianto stopped looking out to the computers, "Jack," He took a mug to pour himself a coffee. "I'm just a little confused on what is going on."
Jack stood in front of the window blocking Ianto's view of the computers. "She's not ready," He took a sip of his coffee. "And I told the Doctor that we are going to make sure that she's going to be..." He stopped talking.
Natalie was standing in the doorway, "Coffee." She said glancing from Jack to Ianto. "Or do you two need more time to talk about me?" She asked calmly.
Ianto felt himself open, then close his mouth. "I was just asking, I mean..." He felt himself getting caught up in his words. "It's just."
Natalie tilted her head to one side watching as Ianto dug himself into a hole, but she couldn't help but keep a serious face. "I could open the locket and be a Time Lady." She pointed out, "Or I can be who I am, and I am happy with my choice." She pointed to Ianto now. "But then if I told you that you are not who you've thought for all your life?"
"But you've not been this your whole life." Gwen stepped in, and Natalie turned to face her.
Jack knew this was getting tense, "Gwen." He spoke, but stopped seeing Natalie stepping forward towards Gwen.
Natalie was now toe to toe with Gwen, both women stood around the same height, but some reason it felt as if Natalie was taller. "In my mind, I have always been human, this has been my whole life, and now I know that everything I know is something that was made up by a machine that was made by Time Lords. That a Time Lord who has informed me that my race was in a giant war that spread over hundreds of years." Her eyes kept locked on Gwen's. "I am sorry if it's so easy for you to think I can simply open a locket, and change everything I know." She bit her lip before trying to push her feelings aside. "For all I know the person in that locket is a cruel broken shell of a person."
Gwen felt herself taking a step back, she knew that she was trying to understand, but she could only think of Beth, and that Beth's memories slowly returned no matter what. "All we know is that you're not human, and I don't know what to expect."
Natalie nodded, "I've read about the sleeper agent, and I can assure you that I am not that." Her voice was soft, she didn't want Gwen to be scared of her. "But from what I've gotten from The Doctor, and what I can remember from my dreams." She took a deep breathe. "I'm not dangerous, but I don't know who that person is."
Owen stepped in watching the scene, "Fuck sack..." He muttered walking in to take a hold of Natalie's arm. "Nat, I think." He stopped seeing her face. "Do you want to get back to the firewall program?"
Natalie took a step back, "Yea," She walked to get her coffee before walking back to the computers leaving Gwen, Ianto and Jack with Owen.
Owen's face was dark, he couldn't believe it, "Really Gwen, we said be cool!" He turned to Jack. "Cool!" He waved his hands in the air.
"I am sorry Owen, but it is my place to worry about the well being of my team mates, and I don't understand what is going on." She took a deep breathe. "I just want to understand if we have a time bomb on our hands."
Jack felt himself going from Gwen to Owen, he knew both sides of the argument, but then he knew he'd have to pick a side.
Owen took a swift step towards Gwen, "Right now she is a woman, she believes she is twenty seven, she also believes her life has been a mediocre, on the verge of boring." He pinched his forehead. "She was scared to come back here, and I convinced her that we are decent people." He waved his hand in the air, "And I honestly thought I was the arse of this team." He turned on his heels walking out of the kitchen.
Gwen felt her eyes drifting to her hands, she couldn't believe it. She promised herself she would never be heartless, she wanted to keep her compassion. Gwen blinked a tear feeling herself watching Natalie at her computer, and Owen heading over to her. Gwen felt the guild building. "What have I done?"
"Gwen," Jack started to speak, he stood beside her watching where her gaze was. "You are human, and you do whatever humans do."
Gwen shook her head, "I did everything I could to save Beth, and I thought I could help." Her face turned to watch Jack. "But now I am standing here and fearing Natalie." Her hand brushed the tears from her face.
Jack placed a hand to Gwen's shoulder. "I know why you are afraid," He caught her face in his hand. "But you have nothing to fear."
All Ianto could do was watch, and he wasn't afraid of Natalie, "The Doctor, did he give us anything?"
Jack shook his head, "As much as he likes me, he would never share anything with Torchwood." He rocked on his feet. He placed a hand on Ianto's shoulder, and then Gwen. "You two have to understand that we have nothing to fear."
Ianto turned his attention to the window, and he knew that Gwen was also looking out.
Natalie kept on her work, she didn't want to ignore the team, but it was hard when she knew that they were all thinking the same thing. Her eyes would shift behind her to glance at Tosh, it took her a while to stop staring, but Natalie didn't mind.
The fact she heard what Gwen said, and now whenever Gwen would glance in her direction she would only feel sick. She never did anything to hurt Gwen, and she never would, but Gwen had already made her mind up.
"Hey, you hungry?" Owen placed a hand on Natalie's shoulder making her jump, her eyes fixed on him. "Sorry, didn't mean to scare you."
Natalie smiled, "No, I was just deep in," She stopped for a second. "I'm Hank Marvin." She finally replied getting to her feet picking up her bag, she didn't even realise time had gotten away from her.
Placing a hand on her back Owen could tell he was trying his hardest to make something feel normal for her. "So pub lunch?" He asked, then turned to look at Tosh. "Fancy it?"
"Yea," Tosh broke into a genuine smile, "I am starting to think I need a break from the screen." Her attention catching Ianto. "We're going for a pub lunch."
"Sounds like a good idea." He turned to Owen, "Are you offering to pay?" He laughed at his own attempt at humour.
"Sod that!" Owen turned his attention to Owen, "Have your boyfriend pay for you." He pointed out.
Jack's laugh boomed, "Maybe I'll do my charity for today and pay for everyone." He put his hands into his pockets.
Gwen stepped up from the cells, she could see Natalie standing among the team. "Did I hear something about lunch?" She asked giving a big grin, "Cos I could murder a burger." She felt herself trying her best to push the morning events away.
Owen nodded to Gwen, "Going to the pub." He said, he didn't know how to feel about Gwen, but he just felt his attention to Natalie. "So what are we waiting for?" He kept his hand on her back.
"I am ready," Natalie now nodded, "Lets get something to eat." She walked towards the exit, she knew what Owen as trying to do, but she knew she had to get passed the fact that it wasn't going to be easy for them as well as for her.
The Monday lunch hour was oddly busy, and while the team picked a quiet corner to sit in, Jack and Owen went up to order the first round of drinks, as well as everyone's food order.
Ianto felt odd among the women of the team, they were all just sitting one side of the table. He didn't really know what to make of how they all seemed to be sat not knowing what to say. So he gave an awkward smile, "I heard this place has really good mozzarella sticks." He had to say something.
Gwen and Tosh both looked to each other, then to Ianto. "Rhys said they are addictive." Gwen spoke, but then her attention to Natalie. "But then he said the tomato puree isn't that great." Her voice was trying to seem normal.
"I've never eaten in here before," Natalie played with the placemat, "But then I..." She stopped talking feeling stupid to think of fake memories.
Gwen placed a hand on Natalie's, "But what?" She asked softly, "You can tell us." She felt better about herself. "If you remember it, then it's real to you."
Natalie smiled, "I was going to say me and Owen was going to come here for Sunday dinner." Her face lit up for a second. "But time got away from us, and ended up just watching a movie and ordering Pizza."
Tosh stopped for a second looking over to Natalie, "You spent the weekend with Owen?" She tried to hide the jealousy in her voice.
"I needed to change my place," She felt like she could be honest. "Jack helped me with a deposit on a new place, and Owen helped me move." Her hand went to her hair. "Involved buying a lot of new things." She added while trying to ignore the two women staring at her. "Why do I feel like I am saying something weird?"
"Owen offered to help you?" Ianto asked, but didn't believe it. "Are you two?"
Natalie's eyes got big for a second, "No!" She held her hands up, "I mean," Her voice calmed down. "He just helped me move."
"Guess Owen really is maturing as a person." Tosh felt surprised. Her eyes going to see the same expression on Gwen's face. "But then..."
"Surprised I can be a decent bloke?" Owen placed a drink down in front of Tosh and Natalie. "I think it's cos I have a reputation." He added to Natalie.
"Oh I remember..." Natalie took a sip of her drink before seeing Jack sitting down placing drinks in front of himself and then Ianto. "Something about a slut..." She laughed.
Owen sat opposite her, "Oh, you promised to never call me that." He put on an offensive tone to his voice. "Plus that is only cos you are strangely good at Pool."
"Basic maths," Natalie laughed, "But anyway we was talking about you helping me move."
"Oh," Owen drank some of his drink looking to Tosh, "She wanted to have a fresh start." He glanced to Natalie to see if it was okay if he talked about it. He could see she wasn't objecting. "We went out for a quiet drink Saturday night, and this one hustled me." He pointed to Natalie's face. "And we did a pot and questions."
Gwen laughed now, "Oh Owen." She shook her head. "You two seemed to have had an eventful weekend."
"Well, I guess after what happened, I guess I knew Owen was kinda..." She stopped for a second, "We kinda have a lot in common."
Jack nodded, "Plus I think I would have liked to be invited to this night out." He played hurt, "But..." He stopped as his phone went off. "Oh looks like we've got to cancel on this lunch for some of us." He brought his phone to his eyes. "We've got an incident."
