Harry's Minerva

AN: I really meant to finish this during the weekend, but I've been sick for two weeks, so it was hard to concentrate on it. Also, I may be a little late with the next chapter since I have to catch up with some things I've been neglecting while I was sick, but I'll try and finish it as fast as I can.


Chapter 5

The next day Harry woke up shortly after Minerva did, feeling more alert than he had the previous night. He still wasn't a hundred percent, but he could feel that his concussion was gone.

"How are you feeling?" Minerva asked him when she noticed that he was awake.

"Still pretty sore, though my head feels much clearer. I even seem to have stopped shaking," he replied quietly. "I could really use a shower," he added after a moment.

"When Poppy gets here, you can ask her if it's okay," she stated before they lapsed into an awkward silence, still unsure what to say to each other. Thankfully, it didn't last for long since Winky, who was currently guarding Harry, had gone to retrieve Poppy.

"Good morning you two," Poppy greeted as she walked through the door about five minutes later. Winky, Dobby, and Kreacher silently followed behind her, standing to the side as they watched her tend to their master. Poppy quickly drew her wand and scanned over his body, happy to see that he was steadily improving. "Well, it seems like your concussion has cleared up and you've stopped shaking from the Cruciatus exposure. Your other injuries still need some time until they're fully healed though." Then she looked up at him. "So, how are you feeling?"

"Still a bit sore, but much better. I was wondering if I could get clean, though," Harry replied.

Poppy thought about it for a moment before giving in. "Alright, but you should do it now before I reapply the salves to your wounds."

Harry nodded gratefully before slowly getting out of the bed. Minerva moved to help steady him, which was fine until he came to an embarrassing realization – he was only wearing boxers. "Bloody hell! I'm almost starkers!" he exclaimed as he practically dove back under the covers. His face was burning from his blush.

Poppy shook her head at him, though an amused smirk appeared on her face. "This was much easier when you were sleep, but you don't have anything to be ashamed of Harry." This made Harry turn even redder. The elves left to give him some privacy, Winky going to make breakfast, but Minerva stayed put, though she averted her gaze to make him less uncomfortable. She did have a small amused smirk at his reaction.

After she was able to calm him down, Poppy assisted Harry to the bathroom. Then she removed his bandages, scowling a bit at the scars on his back, curtesy of the Dursleys. She let him get cleaned in privacy. He had to take a bath instead of a shower however, since she didn't want him to stand on his injured leg for longer than necessary. When he was done, she had him sit down on the toilet so she could reapply the salves to his back, leg, and abdomen, wrapping them back up in bandages. Dobby popped in to provide him with some sweat pants and a t-shirt to wear, something Harry thanked the elf for profusely. Feeling much better now that he was clean and clothed, he slowly walked out of the bathroom with Poppy's assistance to sit back down in his bed.

"How do you feel now?" she asked him, an amused smile still on her face.

Harry gave her a small smile. "Like I'm almost human."

"I'm glad. Now you are allowed to move around today, but don't push yourself too hard," she cautioned sternly.

"I'll make sure he behaves," Minerva interjected, giving Harry a stern look as well. He nodded his head quickly in compliance to both of the formidable witches.

"Very well. I'll be by tonight to bring you your Dreamless sleep potion," Poppy said when she was sure he took her warning serious. Then she left him and Minerva alone. As she flooed back to her office, she thought about the inevitable conversation the two would have today, silently hoping it would go okay. Their friendship is too important to them both for them to lose it.

Back in the room, Minerva rose to her feet as she turned to face Harry. "Come, let's eat breakfast downstairs. I'm sure you're ready to get out of this room," she stated before helping him stand up. Together, they made their way down to the kitchen where Winky already had breakfast waiting on the table. They ate in silence, both lost in their thoughts as they tried to figure out what they were going to say to each other. Hedwig came in to be petted by Harry as he ate, but that was the only interaction that occurred in the kitchen. After thanking Winky for the meal, Minerva led Harry over to her private library, thinking it would be a more comfortable location for the difficult conversation.

She seated them on a sofa in front of a large window that looked out onto the property. The silence continued for a moment longer before Harry spoke up. "Thank you for taking care of me Professor. I understand if you want me to leave, though," he spoke in a polite but sad tone.

"Why would you think I want you to go?" she asked incredulously, not expecting that comment.

"I…I was horrible to you the last time we talked. I said things I shouldn't have and threw everything you've done for me in your face as if it didn't mean anything. You didn't deserve that and…and I don't deserve your friendship," he explained, looking away from her.

She gently grasped his chin and turned his head to face her. "While I am upset with how our last conversation went, it doesn't mean I do not still consider you my friend," she declared compassionately.

"You shouldn't," he muttered despondently as he looked down in shame.

"Why do you say that?" she asked in concern.

"I'm…I'm not a good person to be around," he replied evasively.

"Harry, you're going to have to explain that more," she pressed.

"You don't want to know. I…I should just go. It'll be better for you that way," he insisted, trying, but struggling to stand up.

Minerva gently made him sit back down on the sofa before standing up in front of him, unable to contain her anger any longer. "No! I will not let you run away from this conversation, not this time. Not when you almost got yourself killed because of it." When Harry was still silent, her patience completely ran out and her tone went cold, letting him know that she was really pissed off. "You will explain what is going on with you. Right. Now."

Harry sighed, knowing that she wasn't going to let it go. "Fine, but don't say I didn't warn you. After the Ministry fight, Dumbledore made me wait in his office so he could talk to me. We argued and…and he told me about a prophecy about me and Tom. A prophecy that he should have told me a long time ago so I wouldn't have gone to the Ministry in the first place." His tone was bitter as he recited it for her.

Minerva usually didn't put much stock in such things, but she knew that Voldemort was suspicious enough to believe them. It explained why he went after Harry when he was just a baby. The monster tried to kill him before he could become a challenge to his power. "He threw this at you right after everything you had been through." When he nodded, she released a breath in anger. "This is why you ran away?" she asked after a moment.

"Partially," Harry admitted. ""When I asked him why he was just now telling me about it, he claimed it was to preserve my childhood. When I pointed out that I had already lost my childhood and innocence before I started Hogwarts and why, he claimed that everything I have been through was necessary for the 'Greater Good'. I'm sure you can guess how well I took that. So, in response I made him aware of how similar I and a certain dark lord's childhoods were and told him to hope I don't follow down his path because I would be much worse, and it would be all his fault. I also destroyed his office."

"This was just an empty threat correct?" Minerva asked warily.

"Yes, I don't plan on becoming like that monster," he clarified, though internally he was doubting if he could keep that promise. "Anyway, after that I kept having the same nightmares over and over. I kept seeing you and everyone else I cared about being killed and blaming me for it. There was nothing I could do to stop them. They…they drove me crazy and I couldn't face it." Harry looked down in shame at his weakness, a single tear falling from his eyes.

"Harry, you should have talked to me about it," she chastised lightly.

"I know, but I was so angry and afraid. I couldn't think straight. So, I pushed you and everyone else away. I spent most of my time in the Room of Requirement and I bonded to Dobby and Winky so they could help me sneak off of the Hogwarts Express shortly after the train started its journey. They took me to Gringotts where I learned about Sirius emancipating me in his will and that he was still my magical guardian, but only through the Black family, not the Potter family." Minerva looked at him in confusion. "I don't really understand it either, but it gave me freedom from Dumbledore, so I didn't question it. I also got ownership of Grimmauld Place, so I went and stayed there. I didn't want to, but it was the easiest place to go and be hidden from everyone since I took control of the wards on the house, including the Fidelius charm. Then…then I started implementing my plan."

Minerva raised an eyebrow at that. "And what plan was that?"

"I decided that since Tom could use our connection to spy on me, I could do the same to him. I was right." Before Minerva could tell him how foolish that was, he pressed on. "I used our connection to learn of possible Death Eater raids before they happened so I could stop them. I discovered two of them. The first one was an attack on Justin Finch-Fletchley and his family. There were six of them. I managed to stop the bastards before they could really hurt anyone, but I let one go so he could deliver a message to his master. The rest I tied up for the aurors to take care of." Harry took another pause unwilling to go on.

"And what about the second attack. The one with eighteen Death Eaters?" Harry kept his head bowed. "What on earth possessed you to face that many enemies on your own?" He still wouldn't reply. "Answer me Harry! Do you have a death wish?"

"Yes!" Harry shouted, finally looking up at her. "I wanted to die! I have to die for Voldemort to be defeated so I figured I might as well get it out of the way!"

Minerva took a step back in disbelief. "Harry," she began shakily, "why would you say that?"

Tears welled up in his eyes as he thought about his unfortunate discovery. "After the first raid and the success from spying on Tom, I got overconfident. I thought it was a good idea to probe my scar, so I did it. It was really hard, but I managed to get a lot of Tom's memories from it. Some of them were corrupted, but I managed to learn that the evil bastard made horcruxes, seven of them in total. The last memory I saw was the night my parents were murdered." Harry paused for a moment to regain his composure before continuing. Minerva's heart sunk at him having to see his parents' death but remained silent, though she had a sinking feeling about what he would say next. "I watched as dad fought Tom as long as he could. I saw my mum willingly give her life for mine. But that wasn't the worst part. When he tried to kill me, the protection my parents set up for me stopped him and he started to disintegrate. But…before the memory ended, I saw a black inky substance attach itself to my forehead and seep in through the scar. The same substance that went into the other objects. I am a horcrux."

Minerva couldn't speak as horror gripped her entire being. NO! He doesn't deserve this after all he's been through, she thought angrily. She knew what a horcrux was from a friend of hers who studied arcane magic.

"I'm harboring a piece of that monster inside of my head, so it makes me a monster by definition," Harry declared when she didn't say anything. "I have to die so that he can be killed. After that, I didn't think I wanted to live, knowing that he was inside of me. But then, when I had the opportunity to just give up and let Travers and Macnair kill me, I couldn't do it. I wanted to see my friends again. I wanted to see you again, so I fought back, and I escaped. But it doesn't matter because I still have to die."

Minerva knew there was a lot she needed to process about what she had just learned. She wanted to scream and shout about the unfairness of Harry's life, but right now, he needed reassurance. So instead, she sat back down beside him before pulling him into a tight hug. Harry resisted her at first before finally succumbing to his emotions as he sobbed into her shoulder. His body shook as he let go of all of the frustration, fear, disgust, and sorrow that had been building up inside of him since he saw his godfather disappear into the Veil. Minerva cried as well, her tears falling into his hair as she thought about the injustices of his life.

The two of them sat like that on the sofa for a while, sharing in their anguish and trying to gain comfort from each other. When Harry had finally calmed down enough, Minerva pulled away so she could look at him. Harry tried to avoid her gaze, but she was having none of that. "Please look at me Harry," she pleaded. He relented after a few seconds, seeing not disgust in her eyes as he expected, but kindness and compassion. "Harry, you are not a monster. I know you aren't one, because I am your friend and I do not see a monster in you. I see a young man who has been dealt a horrible hand in life yet manages to still have a good heart in spite of it." She placed her hand on his heart to emphasize her statement.

Harry, seeing the sincerity in her eyes and hearing it in her voice, wanted to believe her words. "I'm so, so sorry Minerva, for everything. I didn't mean any of it, I swear. Please forgive me." He didn't think he deserved her forgiveness, but he hoped she would give it to him anyway.

"It is already forgiven," Minerva assured him gently before her tone became sharper. "But I want you to understand me very clearly Harry James Potter. If you ever do something so foolish as to try and fight a war on your own, I will turn you into a toad. I understand that you're afraid, but you need to realize that you are not alone. What you do affects those who care about you, affects me. How do you think we would feel if you had died that night? I for one would be devastated." She gently placed a finger on his chin before he could look down. "I know you are dealing with a lot right now, but you don't have to handle it alone. I am here for you, every step of the way, so stop trying to push me away. Let me help you and together we will figure it out, I promise."

"I don't know what I did to get a friend like you, but thank you, Minerva," he stated gratefully.

"You're welcome," she replied as she wrapped her arm around his shoulder.

They spent the rest of their time until lunch in a companionable silence, both thankful that their friendship was healing. There was still a lot of things for them to figure out, but it could all wait for a moment. Right now, they needed this time of peace to help them face the storm ahead.

- H.M. –

After they finished their lunch, curtesy of Winky, they went back to the library. This time they sat at the table in the middle of the room, sitting in chairs beside each other. Minerva brought her personal pensieve with her, placing it on the table.

"Alright," she began seriously, "we need to start planning what to do next. I know this is probably the last thing you want to do, but we need to look at those memories again. With your mind more settled now, it's possible that we can get more information from them."

Harry nodded reluctantly. "Okay, just give me a minute to organize them all." He closed his eyes to help himself focus as he gathered them all up from the corner he had placed them in. As he examined them, they seemed to be clearer than they had been before, giving Harry hope that he and Minerva would be able to learn more from them. After about twenty minutes, he removed them from his mind and dropped them into the pensieve. "That's all of them. Before we watch them, you should know that they won't be pleasant. It'll also take a while, but I figured there may be clues in his childhood that might tell us where he could have hidden them," he informed Minerva when he was done.

"I didn't expect it to be a fun experience. As for the length of it, I agree that clues may be in his past, so it is necessary," Minerva remarked. Then she looked at him in concern. "You don't have to watch them a second time, if you don't want to," she added, wanting to spare him from further pain if she could.

"Thanks for your concern, but I can handle them as long as I'm not alone," Harry replied confidently. "Besides, two pairs of eyes are better than one and I'd rather neither of us have to watch them any more times if it can be helped."

She gave him one more look before assenting with his decision. "If you're sure then." When he nodded, they both leaned their heads over the pensieve before entering it at the same time.

Unlike the last time Harry watched the memories, he and Minerva didn't skip any of them. They watched as Tom Riddle Jr. was teased by the older children of the orphanage for being different with very little help from the overworked adults in charge. Some of the adults even punished him when weird things happened. They observed as he transitioned from the tormented to the tormentor after realizing why he was so different. Gradually, he became crueler and crueler as he abused his powers and enjoyed it. The time when he terrified two fellow orphans by bringing them into a cave that was almost impossible to access was proof of this.

"I hate to say it about a child, but while he had a less than ideal childhood, he seems to have been born with a natural cruel streak," Minerva observed.

Harry scoffed. "My childhood was much worse, but you don't see me taking it out on kids, especially ones just as unfortunate as me," he remarked bitterly.

Minerva looked at him sadly. "We need to have a real conversation about your time with the Dursleys one day. Not right now, obviously, but one day in the near future," she stated gently.

"You don't want to hear about them," he said evasively.

She gave him a pointed look. "I've seen your scars Harry. I'd rather know the truth of your mistreatment than allow my imagination to continue to come to its own conclusions." She hesitated for a moment, wondering if she'd overstepped her boundaries and quickly tried to backtrack some. "I understand if you don't want to discuss it with me, but it is healthier for you if you open up about it to someone you trust. As cliché as it may sound, talking about things does help quite a bit. I know that for a fact." Minerva said this in a cautious tone.

After a moment, Harry finally responded in a quiet but sincere voice. "You're the only one I trust enough to share it with." Minerva chose to ignore the warm feeling that enveloped her at his response.

They focused their attention back to the memories, realizing they were now at the part when Riddle was informed of being a wizard by a surprise person – Dumbledore. They noticed the suspicious look the younger version of the headmaster gave Riddle. It made them believe that Dumbledore could already sense the cruelty within the boy.

"That explains his obsession with the man," Harry muttered darkly. Minerva silently agreed.

As they watched Riddle go through his time at Hogwarts, they took note of the people he hung around – fellow students and professors – as well as his obsession with the history of the school and its Founders. Minerva pointed out that many of the students he hung around with either became Death Eaters or were the parents of them. They could tell that Riddle cared very little for his group of "friends" though he was scarily good at convincing them otherwise. As for the professors, Riddle practically had them wrapped around his finger and he was able to convince almost all of them that he was the model student. Only Dumbledore showed any suspicion of him, though he didn't act on it unfortunately.

When it came to the part where Riddle asked one of his professors about horcruxes, Minerva gasped in recognition.

"That explains why Slughorn stopped teaching. He must have realized just who Voldemort really was and felt guilty for explaining them to him," she declared. Harry looked at her curiously, but decided it wasn't important at the moment.

Then they watched as Riddle made his first horcrux with the death of Moaning Myrtle and his framing of Hagrid for the opening of the Chamber of Secrets. When Minerva saw the size of the basilisk, she grabbed Harry's arm tightly to remind herself that he was still alive.

"You killed that at twelve?" she asked in shock.

"I probably shouldn't mention that it was a bit bigger than that when I fought it," Harry replied sheepishly.

"You really need to stop understating some things," she muttered, gripping his arm tighter.

Before they transitioned to his time after Hogwarts, they saw Riddle discover the Room of Requirement, making Harry suggest that he might have hidden a horcrux there.

Next, they started delving in to his years after Hogwarts, learning that he worked at Borgin and Burkes. The memories were a bit clearer, so they were able to see how Voldemort discovered and acquired the items he used to make his horcruxes. He killed Hepzibah Smith for Hufflepuff's cup and Slytherin's locket, letting her house-elf Hokey take the blame for it. Privately, Harry knew he had seen the locket somewhere, though he couldn't remember where at the moment. They witnessed his murder of his paternal family, the Riddles, watching him blame his maternal uncle, Morfin Gaunt, for their murders while stealing the family ring. They observed him manipulate the ghost of Helena Ravenclaw to learn of Ravenclaw's diadem, which explained said ghost's avoidant nature. They were also surprised to witness him try to apply to Dumbledore for the position of Defense professor. Though they weren't able to see the memory, both concluded that he was the one who cursed that position, preventing anyone from staying for longer than a year.

After that, there was a time skip over the years between then and Voldemort's first reign of terror, just like last time. They were both a bit disappointed that they still didn't know where exactly the horcruxes were, but Minerva assured Harry that the clues were hidden in the memories they had seen.

Finally, they had reached the night Voldemort murdered Harry's parents. Minerva grabbed his arm gently, giving him comfort as he had to watch his parents get killed yet again. She was proud as she watched one of her favorite students fight off the powerful dark wizard, though it was bittersweet. When she flinched as James's body hit the floor, Harry grabbed her hand in his, squeezing it gently which surprised her. She didn't stop him though, and they stayed that way even after the moment was over. They followed the murderer up to the room containing Lily and a baby Harry. Minerva paused the memory as she observed the runic schemes drawn on the floor.

"What was your mother doing?" she wondered aloud.

Harry shrugged. "Unfortunately, I didn't take Ancient Runes, but she carved one on my forehead as well."

Minerva stood in thought for a moment longer before unpausing the memory. Harry squeezed her hand again, which he had not let go of, when his mother was murdered. Minerva squeezed his hand in return, yet again reminding herself he was still alive as Voldemort cast the Killing curse at him. At the end, she took note of the two lights that went into the baby Harry and scowled at the horcrux as it embedded itself into his scar.

- H.M. –

When Harry and Minerva were back in their bodies, it was almost dinner time. They took about half an hour to write everything they remembered from the memories down before Winky called them in for dinner. As they ate sitting across from each other, they discussed what their next moves should be.

"Our first priority right now is to find a way to get that…thing out of your head," Minerva stated, starting the conversation.

Harry didn't have much hope for that. "How are we going to do that though? The only known methods to do so require the destruction of the container."

Minerva was quick to try and squash his hopelessness. "I have a friend named Samena that might be able to help us. She's studied arcane magic her entire life. If anyone knows how to get it out of you, she either will or will know how to find out. I'll send her a letter in the morning asking her to come visit." Then she placed her hand on top of his and squeezed it gently as she looked directly at him. "No matter what it takes, we will find a way to get that thing out of you that doesn't require your death, even if we have to travel all over the world to find it," she declared fiercely.

Harry couldn't help but be moved by her declaration and vowed to stay optimistic, if only for sake. "Thanks Minerva." They were quiet for a moment before he spoke up. "Ok, so you'll write to your friend Samena – who you've never told me about by the way. While we wait, we need to try and figure out where the rest of the horcruxes could be."

"Agreed," Minerva replied before they started compiling a list of possible locations based off of their notes on the memories. After twenty minutes, they had a few potential places to search based off their belief that Voldemort placed sentimental value on things from his childhood and Hogwarts. They also believe that he may have given another one to one of his inner-circle members, like he had with Lucius.

"Okay, so he likely hid one somewhere in Hogwarts, probably the Room of Requirement, with another of his followers, probably Lestrange, and in places connected to his childhood or the Gaunt family. We know that the diary is already destroyed and that Nagini is kept with him or hidden at all times. Now we just have to figure out the specifics," Minerva concluded. There was still a lot to figure out, but she believed they were on a good track.

Harry ran his hand through his hair in thought. "I think we're going to need some help with this, but I don't know who we can trust at the moment."

"Well Dumbledore is definitely out of that equation," Minerva began angrily. "He had to have known what your scar really is, and he did nothing to get it out of you. I doubt he even tried that hard. Instead, he practically conditioned you to become a sacrificial lamb! He tried to make sure that your life was so worthless to you that you would sacrifice it without hesitation!" She was shouting at the end as she stood up and banged her hand on the table furiously.

"Minerva, while I appreciate the anger you feel towards him on my behalf, we can't outwardly make an enemy of him just yet," Harry said soothingly, pulling her into a hug. "I'm not asking you to pretend to be his friend or anything, but you can't let him know that we know about the horcruxes. Besides, you can't get fired because Hogwarts needs you there. I need you there."

The shock from Harry actually initiating physical contact managed to break through her rage. She took a deep calming breath, releasing her anger for the moment. Then she pulled away from the hug to look at him. "Okay, but I reserve the right to turn him into the manipulative goat that he is when we can."

Harry laughed at that and shook his head at her. "If only the world knew how explosive your temper really is."

Minerva lightly slapped his arm, though she had a small amused smile on her face. They both took their seats before she continued talking. "Let's get back on topic. Now, for who we can trust to help us, I suggest we tell Andromeda and Tonks. They could also help you with your new duties as Lord Black or at least how we can use that title to our advantage." She paused for a moment before thinking of someone else. "We might also want to involve Amelia Bones. Having help from the head of the DMLE who is unbiased, intelligent, and trustworthy is a good idea. Plus, you have something to offer her."

Harry looked at her quizzically. "I do?"

"You've been able to spy on Tom through your link to discover raids before they happen. I'm sure the one in charge of the aurors could find a good use for that information," Minerva explained patiently.

"Oh, I didn't think you were going to let me still do that," he replied in surprise.

"While I don't like you putting yourself in danger like that without someone to watch you, I can't argue that it isn't useful. As long as you promise not to do it without me, I won't stop you," she consented, knowing she couldn't protect him from everything. "But you have to be careful and do everything to avoid being discovered," she added sternly.

Harry nodded in acceptance. "I promise that I'll be careful and avoid any unnecessary risks."

"Good. I say we send a letter to Andromeda tomorrow and wait until we talk to her and Tonks before we contact Amelia unless you learn of another attack," Minerva stated. She was about to say something else but was stopped by the arrival of Poppy.

"I take it that your conversation went well then," Poppy remarked, seeing and feeling the lack of tension between the two.

"Yes. We're okay now," Minerva confirmed, causing the healer to smile in response.

"Good. I'll just look you over Harry and be on my way then," Poppy stated. She made him take off his shirt so she could check his back and abdomen before rolling up his pant leg to look at the burn. She reapplied the salves and bandages, satisfied with their progress. "Here are your Dreamless Sleep and Pain-Relieving potions. I still want you to avoid using magic for one more day, but I will clear you after that. As for your injuries, they are still healing on track, but I want you to continue to take it easy until I say otherwise."

"Thanks for everything Poppy," Harry said sincerely.

She gave him a small smile. "You're welcome as always Harry. Just try to stay out of trouble for a while. Your life matters Harry. You shouldn't be so reckless with it," Poppy scolded, though there was compassion in her voice.

"I know," he conceded. Poppy gave him one more stern look before taking her leave, promising to come back in the morning.

"I think you've had enough excitement for one day. You should take your potions and then go to bed," Minerva stated. Harry, feeling drained from the day, didn't argue with her. Once he swallowed down the potions, Minerva helped him up to his room and into his bed.

"Goodnight Harry," she said before heading to her own room. Now that he was going to be okay, she didn't have to stay in the room with him as he slept, but she decided to leave his and her door open just in case.

That night, both of them went to sleep with smiles on their faces, glad that their friendship was on the mend.