Link goes to Hogfarts chapipter 2: The second chapter of Link goes to Hogwarts.

Disclaimer: I did not purchase the rights to either the legend of zelda nor harry poptart since last chapter since I am not rich with a bajillion rupees like link, nor do I have a bajillion dollars either.

At the first transfiguration class professor mcgon angle was teaching them how to transfigurate matchsticks into needles, which was dumb because if you didn't have a needle, why would you have a matchstick, this spell was completely and utterly usefless outsied of a ridiculously pacific and rare situation, namely that of needing a needle when you have a matchstick and don't have a needle, which is something that doesn't happen very often. Link pointed this out, and since teachers like to yell at students when students ask questions that imply that their teachings are completely and utterly useless for any porpoise whatsever, proffesror mcgonald yelled at link for ten hours, not realizing that he had left at the end of transfumigations class. When she realized he left, she assigned link a detention for his (from her perspocktive, for it was in fact an extreamly inteligunt questyun becuz it was aksed by link.) asinine question about the uses of the spell and started grading papers. In the depths of her soul, the pressure of the chans around her feart had reforged themselves. Though they were still weakened from the crackedy cracks.

Up next was Flitwicks class, which was taught by Proferssor charm.

"Now it is the time of the learning of flitwicks," Said professor charm. "Flitwicks are speels that changes the porpeties of an object or thing, such as the lumos flitwick, which causes a wand to emit light. Another expamel of a flitwick is the bluebell flambe spell that hermione somehow invented before ever coming to hogwarts. Since bluebell flames are a spell likely to be useful in a varity of situations, I'm quite sure that hemproide will never mention or think of them again after her first year."

"That makes cents to me," Said link, putting the pennies he made from it in his infinite munny walleet.

"Indubitably, it is quite a useful charm" said Professor Flitwick, "But now it is time to teach you lumos, everyone wave your wand and say lumos!"

but when seamus cast the spell, it explodd and Flitwick made him write "I am a big old babboon! Luv Shameus" (AM: Or something to that effect, I can't rember what the cannon phrase was. :() on the wall 7 million times with the force of a thousand writings.

Necxt calss was portions class, in which snape walked in the classroom stompily like a grumpy idiot because he's kind of a grumpy idiot. "GRUMP!" Grumped Snape like a grumpy idiot. "YOU CAN ALL PUT YOUR STUPID, PATHETIC, RIDICULOUS WANDS AWAY! IN THIS CLASS WE BREW POTIONS IN CAULDRONS! I'M SURE YOU'LL HATE IT BECUASE YOU'RE ALL DUMB DUNDERHEADS AND IT HAS NOTING TO DO WITH MY TEACHING SKILLS WHICH ARE SHIT AT ALL! GURMP!" Grumped snape.

"NOW, IT LOOKS LIKE HARRY POTTER IS IN THIS CLASS!" snaped yelled with the force of a thousand yells and with even more grump in his grumpy voice. He bent over and glared at harry until their noses touched, "KNOW THAT I DESPISE YOU YOU WORTHLESS, FAME SEEKING, DUNDERHEAD WITH THE DUNDERHEADEDNESS OF A THOUSAND DUNDERHEADS! BUT JUST TO GIVE YOU A CHANCE TO PROVE YOURSELF, HOW DO YOU MAKE A PHILOSPHERER'S STONE?!"

"I'm afraid I have no idea, sir," Harry said politely.

"AHA! THIS IS ABSOLUTE AND IRREFUTABLE PROOF THAT DESPITE YOUR CELEBRITY STATUS, YOU ARE A COMPLETE AND UTTER FOOLISH NIMROD, AND DESERVE AN F FOREVER IN THIS AND ALL CLASSES!"

"Hold on there, matey!" Declared Link wisely, "I feel your enraged and goofy rant of great ex s is not entirely fair to harry. We were not informed that we were rekwired to read ahead, nor is it justified to ask a question that isn't even in our first year potions textbook. In addition, I find all this screaming quite unprofessional, plus it kind of hurts my ears. Also, you're kind of being a dick, professor."

And professor snape grump stomped like a grumpy idiot toward link and glared down at him, but suddenly he saw the words that had come out of link's mouth before, shining in the air with immense truth. And their truth solidified, and it's weight fell upon him, so he had to be winged with a hospital for a while. Snape reached a hand out from under the words, holding up his an igloo indies finder like he had somethign to say and said, "Class dismissed." and everyone ran out the droo happily.

They went outside and played with the giant octuskwide. And then there was broom driving class so they went to it. Link upped his broom and went cheering throuhg the sky with the force of a thousand cheers, singing in the rain as he went. Modem hook yelled at him, something about him getting his schedule wrong and it not being until friday, but that didn't seem important to liink who continued driving his broom through the water to talk to the mermaids and giant squid. It would normally be hard to talk underwater, but link used his truest soul powers to breath and talk underwaiter jyust fine.

"Sup link," said the mermaids flirtily, so link played the song of time on the ocarina of time to get 18 again like he was in the scond half of ocarina of awesomeness and in ocarina of time upon which that story is biased and then had sexual intercourse with all of them, but we aren't putting the details in this story to keep it teen rated so later ao or mrated one. And when link was done he played the inversed snog of time to be 11 so he could keep going to hogfarts.

And then link got out and modem hook yelled at link some and told him it wasn't fling class and he was sposed to be in erbyology.

"LINK, YELL SCREAM YELL, IT'S NOT FLYNG CLASS YOU'RE SUPPOSITORY BE IN HERBOGY!" yelled modern pooch with the force of a thousand yells.

"Oh, okay," said link, and then he went.

In erbologia they learned about magical fruit. One magical fruit was beans, there was even a song.

"beans beans, the magical fruit

the more you eat the more you toot.

The more you toot, the more holes there are in your large intestines because that's generally a sign of some issue like that.

So don't eat too many beans or you'll die."

"hey, those last lines didn't rhyme," said hermione, so link used his truest soul powers to make them rime, and then hermione didn't say that.

End of chapter 20.