Chapter 3

As a thanks to those who loved my story enough to review, fave, and whatnot, I shall make a speech here: Thank you to those who loved my story enough to review, fav, and whatnot. Yall is awesum and stufs.

Disclaimer: Do you know how few people own legend of zelda? Zero, because a corporate owns it. Do you know how few people own hary pooter? One, JaK Rowling! And i'm neither of those so I don't own either one.

It was a defence again the dark arts class and link was listening to the teacher talk about trolls! "Trolls are big! Scary! And Green!" Said professor squirrel and that was his whole lesosn because he feinted. Link of course, being really awesome and stuff, new that proferesoer squirrel had a gsbr pm yjr nsvl pg jod jrsf BUT LINK WAS UNDETERRED BY DETERRING THINGS! The other stupidents had to sit there till the bell rang but link was the truest soul and didn't feel lik folloring rules so he didn't. Instead he explored the cattle and went to the third floo corridus. There was a three headed puppy dog so link gave it some steak and petted it for a bit, then he back to the gryffindorms.

MEANWHILE, IN THE SLYTHRIEN LEGION OF DOOM COMMON ROOMS!

A big old slitherin called draco mallory was plotting an evil plot of planliness to get harpy potter expunged. He would chakkenge gary potter to a duel in the middle of the night and then he WOULDN'T SHOW UP! And it would be funny because harry would get expelled! Mafloy evil laughed with the force of a thousand evil laughs! He laughed so loud that mcgonagall heard him from the gryffindorms and walked in demanding to know what he found so evil funny.

"I have an evil plan to get potter expelled from hogwarts, but you don't know about that!" said malfoy.

"Oh, okay, well if I don't know about it I guess I can't do anything about it," said mcgongle, so she went back to the gryffindorms.

The next day, malfoy challegged harry to a duel at midnight. But link overheard, and shouted "MALFOY, CHALLENGING HARRY TO A DUEL?! THAT IS A CLEAR VIOLATION OF HOGWARTS RULES IS IT NOT!"

and professor mcgonagall overheard and aksed if malfoy did so he said yes. So malfory was expeleld for duel challenging which was against the rules.

"OH NO, I HAVE BEEN EXPELLED," Malfoy screamed as the castle telekinetically threw him to the ministry of magic where his wand was snapped. Except that it wasn't because lucius nepotismed draco to durmstrang and was later thrown into azkaban for trying to avada kedavra hogwarts. Link saw this cunning plan and deflected the killing curse back at lucius with his awesome shielding skills.

"BLARG I AM DEAD!" shouted malfoy because he was dead, but his corpse had to serve his asbakan sentence anyway which the dementors were the king of upset about because they can't eat dead souls like vampires can't drink dead blood in anne rice books anyway. And sunddenly proffesor troll ran into the great hal and screamed "THERE'S A SQUIRREL IN THE DUNGEON! SQUIRREL IN THE DUNGEON." just thought you should know, and then he feinted.

Link ran off to fight the Squirrel. Harry and ron also ran off to save hermoninny from the Squirrel. Harry and ron ran into the girls bathrom looking for hermoine. "Hermoine, there's a squirrel in the dungeon," suddenly they heard a really big squeak. And they looked and there was the squirrel towering over the three of them. It swung its massive bushy tail at all the three of them, knocking them into the wall.

"Ow," said harry.

"ow," said hermione.

"ow," said ron.

Then link ran in to save them. The squirrel squeaked ferociously at link and swung its bushy tail at him threateninghly, but link was in no mood for such bullshitious asininity, link grabbed the squirrel by its bushy tail, and swung it around in the air, then slammed it into the ground, SLAM again SLAM again until the squirrel perished regretfully!

Then mcgonangla, snape and dumbledore came running in and saw the dead squirrel and demanded to know what happened.

"I have defeated the squirrel, thus saving hermione, who everyone forgot because she was upset about ron being a buttnogginhead and we need go into no further detail than that," said link respecting hermioninny's privates but also saying what needed to be said.

"Oh okay," said the teachers, and then mogonnalgall said "well link, not many first years could defeat a full grown giant squirrel! 10 points to gryffindor, for dumb luck!"

"but it wasn't luck, it was immense skill. Watch," link said and cast a blasting charm at the wall destroying half the castle, "Luck is the fact that nobody was in the blast radius, except it isn't because my truest soul powers allow me to not kill anyone I don't want to!" and then link magiced the castle back together as if noting happened.

"Impressidve spellwork," said flitwick, who was stunned, "100 points to gryffindor!"

"And also detention," said mchgonagall.

"We've been ovre thiss!" shooted link, "I shall not be a party to your lesser world's stifling restrictions! I am one who lives above such nonsense, I am one who shall grab the bull by the horns," and then link conjured a bull with his truest soul powers, and grabbed it by the horns, "See?" he asked. The teachers' were speechless at the impressive display of wandless conjugation.

and then they all went.

End of chapter 3