Kibi sat at his kitchen table, chin cradled in his hands.
Burgermon sat next to him, his bottom bun cradled in his hands.
Bibiko sat facing Kibi, crunching loudly on a bag of potato chips.
All of them were looking down at the invincible pizza they'd cooked. Sitting there. Staring back. Defying them.
"I don't know about just throwing this away," Kibi murmured. "That seems…dangerous."
"That's easy," Bibiko replied. "Use it to fix that hole in the bedroom ceiling. I'm getting tired of listening to ran falling in those pans and buckets we put under it."
Kibi gasped and hugged his girlfriend, his arms sinking into her soft middle. "That's why I need you, Bibi," he sighed happily. "You're always so practical."
She kissed him lightly on the cheek and pried herself out of Kibi's embrace. "I'll go look at the recipe again and see what to change. Go fix the ceiling and I'll see you later, okay, Kibi-chan?" she asked.
"You bet, my undying love!" Kibi gushed. "Burger-chan, get the ladder and meet me out back after I get the super glue, or something."
"The ladder's heavy," Burgermon said. "Thank for trusting me with the important job!"
Kibi winked back at him and smiled. "You're welcome, buddy!"
Their little group flowed out of the room through different doors. A minute later Bibiko leaned her head back in. "Hey, Kibi-chan? Did you take the new recipe we used for this pizza? I can't find it!"
No answer.
Bibiko walked slowly, actually cautiously into the room. A chill crept up her spine. Something was wrong.
Then she noticed the table.
The unbreakable pizza pie was gone.
"Kibi-chan! Did you take the pizza with you already?" she called out.
Kibi stepped back into the kitchen, a tube of super glue in his hand. His skin was glistening with sweat from the late summer heat. "Did you say something, my undying love?" he asked.
"I asked if you took the pizza with you," Bibiko replied. "It was gone when I came back to ask you where you put the new recipe you used to make it."
He shook his head. "I didn't take it just to go to the back to get glue. It's heavy, why would I do that?" Then his face lit up with a sly smile. "Wait, I bet Burgermon took it! He was so proud of me calling him strong just now!"
"What did you do with the recipe, though?" Bibiko asked. "I want to know what all we did so can avoid making it so hard next time."
"I didn't take it," Kibi answered, his face contorting itself inward with confusion. "Why would I want the pizza recipe to fix a hole in the roof?"
There was a thump like something heavy being placed against the outside wall, and Burgermon stuck his giant hamburger head through the back door. "I have the ladder ready, Kibi-san…what's wrong?"
"Burgermon, did you take the pizza?" Kibi asked.
"And the recipe for it?" Bibiko followed.
The game monster reached up and scratched the bun on top of his art, knocking off an oversize sesame seed. "What are you talking about? I didn't touch either of those," he replied. "You just said to get the ladder!"
Kibi's jaw dropped. "Wait a minute…what's going on?"
His question was answered as he spotted something bizarre out the window.
Someone was running down the street holding the unbreakable pizza over their head.
XXX
"Oi! OI! Stop right there, you dirty thief!" Kibi shouted as he ran down the street, Burgermon struggling to keep up his boss, Kibi's strength fueled by his outrage at one of his creations being stolen out from under his nose.
Even a totally inedible pizza.
He leaned over, trying to get some impression of the thief's face in case they got much farther ahead of him. The grey hoodie they were wearing concealed everything, however. Instead he clenched his teeth and picked up the pace. Kibi wasn't the fittest Kamen Rider in the country, or the smartest, but there were few who could match him for pure, unbridled energy.
People stared as the bizarre procession ran by them, the indistinct thief carrying a pizza overhead, the overweight chef chasing them down, and the burger monster doing his absolute best to keep up with them all.
"Is this some kind of publicity stunt?" one teenage girl asked her friend, having just gotten over the surprise of the thief charging in front of them.
"It sure is!" Kibi answered. "Keep an eye out for Pizza Bricks! We're tough as a—"
"NO! We aren't!" Burgermon cut him off.
The distance between Kibi and the thief got smaller and smaller while Kibi's lungs were starting to burn. Suddenly they dashed around a corner but Kibi zoomed right after them. His belly was chafing against the bulky belt he had on, which he hoped he wouldn't need to use.
But what kind of person would steal a rock-hard pizza?
Maybe the better question was, what kind of monster would want one?
Much to the relief of Kibi's lungs, the thief stopped in an empty lot. "Ah, so you…," Kibi gasped and rested his hands on his knees. "…give up, do you? Hand…hand that over, and maybe…maybe we'll go easy on you."
"You'll never get this back, Kamen Rider!" the thief said in a feminine voice with a weird trilling quality. Pulling back their hood, they exposed the head of a grey-furred rabbit. Kibi shut his eyes and gave his head a good shake to assure himself he wasn't seeing things.
"Kibi-san…who is THAT?" Burgermon asked in loud surprise.
"I'm the Rabbit Queen! I come from the game of Rabbit Hutch, where children raise adorable bunnies like real pets!" the thief answered before Kibi could even give a wild guess. "But I'm going to do so much more than make children happy from now on! I'm going to rid the world of worthless junk food like pizza!"
Kibi's eyes turned red with rage. Burgermon took a fearful step backward. "WHAT?!" Kibi screamed.
The Rabbit Queen went on, undaunted. "Without unhealthy alternatives, chhildren will learn to love lettuce and celery instead! With this demonic recipe of yours I can make all pizza inedible!"
His hands were clenched. Just like his teeth. Burgermon was sure he saw small sparks shooting off them.
Just like before the Rabbit Queen seemed not to even notice, as she declared, "First your beloved pizzerias, then every other kind will be next! I will destroy the junk food industry with this ultimate Dark Pizza!"
To be continued…
