In the blink of an eye the Ju Ju Pizza game was in Kibi's hand. "I'll never let you get away with something so evil!" he declared righteously.
Across the lot the Rabbit Queen's ears quivered and she let out a haughty laugh, actually raising one hand and covering her mouth with the back. "You think you can stop me? I'm untouchable, thanks to you!"
"Henshin!"
Strands of pizza toppings were still forming themselves into decorations on Kamen Rider ZZa's armor as he charged up to Rabbit Queen. His powerful Gashacon Wheel was already on his arm and he slashed at Rabbit Queen with the whirring blade.
Her sneakers suddenly exploded into furry white feet twice their apparent length and she easily bounced backward out of his reach. ZZa charged his furry tormentor and went into another slash but she jumped over him, somersaulted and smacked him on the back of his head with Pizza of Darkness.
A sound like hollow metal reverberated across the lot. ZZa tumbled forward and hit the ground with a crash, the Gashacon Wheel slowing to a stop.
"Not exactly Ex-Aid, were you, kid?" Rabbit Queen chortled. She took a short bounce closer, raising the Pizza of Darkness to club him again.
Someone moved faster. Rabbit Queen stopped short when she saw a figure in dark armor blocking the way, staring back defiantly at her from the face partially exposed in the giant hamburger on his shoulders.
"You can't hurt Kibi-san! I won't let you ruin his dream!" Burgermon said.
Rabbit Queen smirked, her buck teeth sticking out a bit more in scorn. "His dream is to make people eat disgusting, greasy food when they could be eating something healthy and green?"
Burgermon pointed an accusing finger at the rabbit kaijin. "You don't know anything! Kibi gives everything to his dream! He leaves in a beat-up old house so he can spend all his money perfecting his recipes! He was sick with Game Syndrome for years, just so he could bring me to life and ask me to help him! Kibi-san wants to make people happy with delicious food! I won't let anyone take that away from him!"
"If you were any other Bugster, I might actually be a little worried," Rabbit Queen said with a sad shake of her head.
She threw the Dark Pizza at Burgermon's exposed face.
It twirled over and over at him, everything seeming to slow down as if the inedible pizza was somehow draining everything around it to hit Burgermon harder. It was becoming an irresistible force.
And Burgermon was definitely no immovable object.
When the Dark Pizza was only a few feet away from him Burgermon suddenly pulled the buns of the burger on his head open wide. Ketchup sprayed out, mustard, onions and tomato slices. Coating everything in an arc in front of Burgermon. Including the incoming confection of evil.
It fell. Hitting the ground and rolling on its edges for a few moments like a manhole cover. All of the power behind it just gone.
"…What…what did you do?" demanded Rabbit Queen in complete shock.
"It's simple," Burgermon explained. "That pizza's horrible, inedible food. Hamburgers are delicious and satisfying. Their power defeated it."
Rabbit Queen clenched her fists and bent over, her eyes pointed at the ground and starting to turn yellow, then red, with rage. "No, it isn't possible…all my dreams of healthy green vegetables!"
Burgermon squeezed the buns on his head tight again. "That dream isn't possible," he said, turning slightly to make ZZa was still all right. To his relief, the Rider was managing to sit up. "Food are gifts. Gifts can only be offered, not forced. Otherwise…otherwise it isn't done to help people improve. It's only forcing someone's own desires…"
"You're awfully philosophical for an idiot with a burger for a head," Rabbit Queen sneered at him.
"This isn't my head—"
She wielded a sword with a long carrot as the blade, its leaves the hilt. "Don't worry, you'll never think again after I'm done with you!"
Wild swings from the vegetable blade came at Burgermon too fast for the hefty monster to avoid. A blow to his chest. His leg. One right under his chin knocked him on his back. Rabbit queen pinned his waist with one giant foot and aimed the tip of her vegetable sword right at his chest. The next stab would be fatal.
If it got a chance to come. "Not so fast, rabbit bitch!" Kamen Rider ZZa charged in and chopped through the blade of Rabbit Queen's carrot sword. The tip spun end over end and end before the tip stabbed dramatically into the ground. "My dream can't happen without my partner! What am I supposed to do without that brain of his?!"
Rabbit Queen made a powerful bound backwards. Suddenly there was a sprig of vegetable in her furry hand. She chewed it up and blew a cloud from her mouth at ZZa and Burgermon. "Parsley Attack!"
"Oh no…it smells so sweet!" ZZa whined.
"Stay strong, Kibi-san!" Burgermon moaned, reaching out to touch his friend's hand as ZZa crumpled to his knees, both of them overpowered by the pungent smell in the air. Rabbit Queen twirled a carrot-tipped spear and threw it between the two and knocked them both down again.
Suddenly Rabbit Queen bounced closer and landed with a foot coming down on top of each of them. She jumped high, did a somersault then came down again smashing her feet onto her opponents.
Kamen Rider ZZa reached out and clutched Burgermon's gloved hand. "Partner, if we get out of this alive, will you help me make dream of serving everyone delicious food come true?" ZZa gasped weakly.
"Of course, Kibi-san," Burgermon confirmed.
"Heh! That's all I need to hear!" ZZa rolled over onto his stomach and blocked Rabbit Queen's next stomp on the side of his Gashacon Wheel. He shoved the surprised villain away with her giving a surprised squawk.
Scrambling his feet until he got a solid footing, ZZa got up and held down the power button to start the wheel spinning again. He raised the wheel and parried a stab from Rabbit Queen's spear on the side. Sparks tinged with orange surrounded him but Rabbit Queen jumped back.
She scowled so hard at the Rider and his friend it was a wonder they didn't burst into flames. "VEGETABLES WILL SAVE THE WORLD!" Rabbit Queen screamed, and grabbed the Pizza of Darkness, the indestructible pie humming with power already in her furry fingers. "APOCALYPSE BUFFET ATTACK!" Crouching, she launched herself into the air, so high she was over the roofs of the buildings around them, and then shrank into a black dot in the sky. A glowing sphere of crimson left no doubt she was about to make a big impact when she landed.
ZZa turned to Burgermon. "There's only one way we're gonna survive this, partner," the Kamen Rider said.
"I know," Burgermon nodded. "We have to fire back with everything we've got, and hope it's enough."
"It'll be enough," Kamen Rider ZZa assured his friend.
As they said it the ball of red fire in the distance started coming back down, getting bigger every second. "Time for that move we were practicing," ZZa said. "ULTIMATE JUNK FOOD WAVE!"
Next to him Burgermon whimpered with excitement.
Shapes pelted down out of Rabbit Queen's giant ball of energy. Dagger-sharp carrots and celery fell down around the two, embedding in the ground. Ripe tomatoes and lettuce splattered on the ground. One caught ZZa in the chest but Burgermon caught his best friend before the Rider could fall.
ZZa started the attack. He sprayed bullets of tomato sauce from a nozzle on the back of his weapon, moving it in a sweeping pattern and blasting the incoming healthy vegetables away. Another canister went into the back of the Gashacon Wheel and ZZa sweeped back the other way while firing a salvo of garlic butter to intercept more leafy green veggies.
Burgermon peeled back the top bun over his head, reached and pulled out both hands full of giant chopped onions and tomato slices shiny with secret sauce. He spun in place like a tornado, flinging the toppings like giant throwing stars and deflecting even more of Rabbit Queen's vegetable bombardment. One onion hit the furry villain herself right on the forehead and left the fur sticky with unidentifiable sauce.
"Hey!" she screeched, but neither of her targets could hear her. The giant energy ball was so close it was covering the entire sky by that point. Rabbit Queen could be seen in the very middle, sneering at their imminent demise. Around her were endless rows of vegetables, the most lethal salad the world had ever seen. At the center of it all was the most evil pizza the world had ever seen, becoming a point of blackness that rippled as it fed and multiplied the power of Rabbit Queen's vast dietary hatred.
Kamen Rider ZZa's wheel was grinding furiously. "This is it…have to have perfect timing," he breathed. Burgermon gave him a thumbs up. Leaning forward like a sprinter, ZZa took off. He ran as fast as he could, covering a hundred meters in 3.6 seconds. The path he ran took him in a spiral, getting bigger with every lap he took, forming a circle.
With an anxious Burgermon at the very center.
Nothing but an orange blur during his sprint, suddenly Kamen Rider ZZa stopped and stabbed the pizza wheel on his arm into the track he'd just run. The energy he'd built up zipped around the spiral he'd run, circling in, faster and faster every second until it hit where Burgermon stood.
He spread his arms wide and twirled up into the air. The spiral of ZZa's energy started forming shapes everywhere. Pepperoni. Mushrooms. Olives. It was a pizza as big as Rabbit Queen's apocalyptic salad.
Even the Pizza of Darkness that was amplifying her strength couldn't stand a chance against it.
The two giant meals collided. Back and forth they pushed each other as if wrestling. Bits fell from the edges, raining down glowing sausage bits and lettuce shreds. At the very center of the confectionary chaos the pair of monsters—Burgermon and Rabbit Queen—grappled, tearing bits out of the giant pizza and salad as they wrestled for supremacy.
And with a final blast of noise and light that made Kamen Rider ZZa turn away in horror at the awesome power, it was over. The sky was clearing up, and Burgermon drifted delicately to the ground close by.
It was only for an instant but ZZa could see Rabbit Queen in the air, dissolving into a purple stream that drifted away into the distance. Out of the haze dropped a sheet of paper, the ends on fire. ZZa watched it hit the ground and let it burn.
"So ends the Pizza of Darkness," Kamen Rider ZZa murmured.
"What about the recipe?" Burgermon asked, pointing at the flaming paper. "Bibiko wanted that to fix it, didn't she?"
ZZa waved it off. "It's better this way. The creation of something that could be such an awesome conduit for evil is not for the eyes of mortal man," the Rider said with undue solemnity. "Bibi-chan will understand when we tell her."
"If she even believes we fought a rabbit woman," Burgermon muttered.
Pulling the game from his Gamer Driver, Kamen Rider ZZa faded and Kibi returned. He smiled and playfully punched Burgermon on the shoulder. "We did a good thing here today."
And Burgermon nodded his giant burger-covered head. "We defeated the ultimate perversion of the glory of junk food."
See you next game
