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"She's right here... which makes you... my dad." Antonio could hear those words echoing in his head. He looked between the unconscious and seriously injured 'Johanna' and Xavier. They were definitely mother and son. "What?" He asked.
"Josephine Fraser…" Xavier pointed to the woman in his arms. "Is my mother's real name… she changed it before we were born."
"We?" Antonio's head was spinning.
"My twin sister, Zoë and me." Xavier was shaking. "Look, right now, all I want is help for my mom. Jules said she was calling an ambulance."
"Jules… Jules Willhite?"
"Yeah… she was working with my mom. Please… I just… I can't lose her." He went back to holding his mother. "I didn't even know she was pregnant."
Antonio was frozen in place. His Josie was alive? She was living across the street from him? He had twins? She was… "Wait, wait, wait… she's pregnant?"
Xavier pointed to Josie's abdomen. "Unless she put on a bunch of weight and hid it from our family… she's pregnant."
Antonio leaned against the wall. He was shaking. He was overwhelmed by all of this. It couldn't be true, could it?
"Chicago Fire Department!" Gaby's voice rang out. "We're here to help."
"In here!" Xavier shouted. "It's my mom… please help her."
Gaby and Shay rushed into the room. "Xavier!" Gaby exclaimed. She looked down. "Oh my God! Jo!"
Shay pushed Antonio aside and helped Xavier get Josie onto the gurney. "Antonio… if you ain't helping us… get the fuck out of our way." Shay shouted.
Xavier followed Shay giving her all the details he could about his mom. Gaby grabbed Antonio by the arm. "'Tonio… what the fuck!?"
"Jules… she… uh… she called me… told me to get over here… I was next door picking up the kids."
"Okay… then what?"
"Then… I bust in here… the kid, Xavier… he grabbed a bat… I told him my name… then… he told me that Johanna's name isn't really Johanna… that it's Josie… then he told me I'm his…"
"Antonio!" Gaby slapped his cheek. "Snap out of it. That is Josie… look… it's complicated… but it's her. I gotta get her to Med."
Antonio was still in daze. Gaby pushed by him and ran to the ambo. She hopped in the back and closed the doors. Antonio snapped out of it as he heard the sirens pull away from the house. He turned on his heel and ran to his driveway. He was going have to explain this somehow, later. For now, he hopped in his car and floored it towards Med, dialing Jules as he went.
"Antonio."
"Jules… do not bullshit me now!" Antonio barked. "Is Johanna really Josie Fraser?"
"Antonio…"
"Yes or no!? Damn it!"
"Yes." Jules sighed. "I'm almost at Med. Xavier told me that's where they were headed."
"I'm heading there too. You and me… we're gonna have words, Jules."
"I know… Antonio… I'm sorry."
Antonio shut his phone and tossed it on the seat. Getting to Med was taking too long for him. Right now, he needed answers.
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Xavier was pacing outside the trauma room. Maggie had let him stand there because she worked with his mom but he needed to know that she was okay.
Gaby saw him pacing. She left Shay to tend with the gurney and supplies, while she went to talk to him. "Xavier… hey… Xavier." She put her hands on his shoulders. "Hey… I know… I know." She pulled him into a hug. "I know."
"Tia Gaby… I'm scared… why… what did Mama do wrong?"
"I don't know, buddy… I don't know. Here, let's sit… as soon as they know something… they'll come… I promise."
Xavier nodded and wiped his eyes. "I'm sorry."
"For what?" Gaby held his hand.
"For telling… Antonio…" The name felt foreign on his tongue. "That he was my dad."
"Sweetie, you did what you had to… to protect your mom."
"I just… I don't know… I didn't know what to do…" Xavier cried on his aunt's shoulder.
Gaby was comforting him when Jules appeared around the corner. Gaby shook her head. Jules sighed and sat on the other side of Xavier. Together, they tried to keep him as calm as possible until they got some news about Josie's condition.
Antonio rushed into Med and saw Shay. "Shay… where is she?"
"Trauma… look… Antonio…" She grabbed his arm. "Don't go rushing in there, guns blazing. I'm pretty sure there's a damn good reason as to why you didn't know or what's really going on, but you're gonna have to let them explain."
Antonio shook her off his arm. "Look, Leslie… I need answers to questions I've had since 1997… I don't need you or anyone else to tell me what I have to do."
"Antonio!" Leslie called after him as he stalked off to the Trauma section of the ER.
Jules could hear Antonio coming. She signaled to Gaby. Gaby whispered something to Xavier and got up with Jules to go stop the rampaging Antonio.
Gaby got to him first and put her hands on his chest. "Whoa, bro… chill."
"No! Gaby… I will not chill!" He snapped. "You knew?" He stared at his sister and his partner. "You both knew?!"
They nodded slowly. "Yeah, Antonio… we knew."
Antonio punched the wall. "How could you?! Why didn't you tell me?!" His voice was drawing all sorts of attention.
Jules and Gaby grabbed him and dragged him to a room away from the majority of the patients. Gaby pushed him into a chair while Jules locked the door.
"Antonio… you need to calm down." Jules said softly.
"The hell I do!" Antonio exclaimed. "For the last 15 years… I thought the woman I loved and our unborn child were dead… I watched the house they were in blow up… Hell I got a fucking concussion and broken ribs from the force of the explosion! I buried an empty coffin because there wasn't anything left in the house once the fire was out." He broke down and wept. "I lost everything… I became someone else because I lost them… and now…" He glared at them. "Now, you're telling me they've been here this whole time?!"
"Antonio… it's not that easy!" Gaby jumped in. "Do you know what she's been through? What your children have had to go through? Do you know anything?"
"No! Because you didn't let me! Because no one let me!" Antonio sobbed. The anger, the guilt and the sadness he had felt all those years ago came back and hit him all at once. "I lost everything!"
Gaby went to him and pulled him into a tight embrace. She let him weep on her shoulder. "Bro, I'm sorry… I'm so sorry."
"Why didn't she come find me? Why… why didn't anyone tell me she was alive? Why didn't anyone tell me I had twins? That they were healthy, happy?" He wept.
"Because they were put into protective custody." Jules whispered. "They couldn't do anything."
Antonio broke down and slid to his knees. He wept fiercely. Everything he had ever planned with Josie had been thrown out that Christmas Eve. He remembered standing with Dixie and Billy burying the empty casket. He remembers weeping at the loss. He went to the gravesite every week. He put flowers there, no matter how hot, or cold it was. He spent hours talking to an empty grave, telling them how much he missed them, the things he had wanted them to see. He could see the tombstone in his mind's eye. 'Josephine Johanna Fraser-Dawson & Baby Dawson- Forever in our hearts'. Her parents had found out about the baby during the investigation and he had told them his plans to marry her. They agreed to put it as though they had been married. They knew that her death had been hardest on him and that he was guilt-ridden. He had blamed himself; still did to this day.
There was a knock at the door. Jules opened it and headed out, leaving Gaby to tend to her brother. Jules followed Maggie to the waiting area where Xavier had begun pacing again. Jules took Xavier's hand and together they followed Maggie to the elevators.
"So, we got Jo stable. Um… the baby is okay, but the docs want to keep her in an induced coma to make sure that the swelling in her brain goes down. It'll also help her heal."
Xavier whimpered. "Is she going to be okay?"
Maggie stroked his arm. "Yeah, Xavier. She's gonna be okay. This is just to protect her and the baby."
"You know, she never told me about the baby." He sniffled. "Why wouldn't she do that?"
"I don't know," Maggie gave him a hug. "I don't know."
"I hope it isn't Biz's baby."
"It's not." Jules said before realizing that Josie wasn't going to want it out there who the baby's father really was.
"Jules?" Xavier and Maggie looked at her.
"I shouldn't have…"
"Who's the dad?" Xavier asked.
"I think that's up to your mom to tell you when she wakes up."
"Jules… who is it? Please?"
Jules groaned. She was in between a rock and a hard place with a boulder hanging above her head. She sighed. This was going to be out in the open soon enough. "Your dad."
"My… wait… my dad? What?" Xavier shook his head. "Mama said she hadn't seen him since we got back from New Orleans. She told me and Zoë that he wanted nothing to do with us."
Jules shrugged. "This is going to get more confusing and complicated before we have clear answers."
Maggie was lost. She led Xavier and Jules to a private room where Josie was lying. She was black and blue.
"She looks so small." Xavier whispered. He knew his mother wasn't a big person to start with but lying like that in a hospital bed, she looked like a fragile, little doll.
Maggie touched his shoulder. "Xavier, I know this is a lot… and that it looks scary with her hooked up to so many tubes, wires and machines… but that's there for us to keep an eye on her."
"Can I see her?" He asked.
"Oh, sweetie… of course." Maggie slid the door open. "You can hold her hand… talk to her. We'll be right here."
Xavier took a couple tentative steps into the room. He turned back to look at Jules. She nodded and signaled to him that it was ok. He took the final steps and headed into the room. He sat in the chair next to her and took her hand.
Maggie turned to Jules. "What the fuck is going on around here?"
"Long story."
"Give me the Cliff Notes." Maggie crossed her arms.
Jules groaned. "Okay… so 1997, Josie Fraser was deeply in love with Antonio Dawson… He was fresh out of the Academy and she was graduating High School… He was 21, she was 17 and they got pregnant. Fast forward to Christmas Eve… her house blows up when Antonio was going to rescue her. Her dad had been made and the gang he was infiltrating blew up the house to send him a message. Really, Josie Fraser left Chicago and went back to New Orleans under protective custody. She changed her name to Josie Duplessis and gave birth to twins, Xavier and Zoë. 2005, Katrina hits. By this point, Josie had gotten her nursing degree but had gone into NOPD as a detective. She came back to Chicago because the man she thought was her father was dying… and Katrina was coming full speed. She packed up the kids and headed here. She joined CPD and used her middle name instead to prevent Antonio from finding out the truth. Mainly because she found out that he had moved on. She is a Vice detective. She's been working here as a cover, but because she's formally an RN… it works. She can do both. She kept tabs on the girls getting brought in or any ODs on new drugs out there."
"So… she's playing both fields?"
"No… she was here as a nurse to genuinely help people… but she did provide information for the CPD too. Helped bring down a couple heroin and meth rings… as well as saved some girls from a sex trade ring."
Maggie looked into the room. "Does Xavier know the truth?"
"Josie never hid the truth from them. Their legal name is Dawson. They've always known that Antonio is their dad. They've been interacting with Gaby for the last little while. Antonio's parents know the truth. Josie went to tell Antonio… but Laura answered the door… 5 months pregnant with Diego."
"Shit."
"Yeah… Josie took the hint and just kept raising their twins on her own."
"Dear Lord." Maggie gasped. "I'm gonna have security post someone up here. Xavier told me that he's worried whoever did this will come back."
"I've got a couple UCs that are coming up to watch over her. But any help you can give is going to be great."
Maggie nodded. "Does Antonio know anything?"
"He just found out… and he's not taking it well."
"I could tell that much." Maggie sighed. "Hey, look…" She pointed towards the elevators.
Jules turned and saw Antonio getting off the elevator. She turned back to Maggie. "Um… I have to talk to him… can… can you just make sure Xavier and Josie have everything they need?"
"You bet." Maggie went in to check on them while Jules went to stop Antonio from making a scene.
"Antonio… I will tell you… but you… you gotta stay as calm as possible… otherwise… security throws you out."
Antonio nodded. "Is she okay?" He asked weakly.
Jules took his arm and led him to a family waiting room. She closed the door and sat down. "Antonio… sit."
"I… I … I can't." His voice was shaking.
"Okay. Where do you want me to start?"
"The beginning." He said.
"Okay." Jules was about to start when there was a commotion outside.
Antonio took off and went to see what was going on, Jules was hot on his heels. They arrived to see Xavier getting pulled out of Josie's room by Maggie. He was sobbing. Doctors and nurses were in the room as the alarms were sounding. Maggie was trying to comfort Xavier.
Antonio's heart dropped when he heard Xavier cry out. "Don't let her die!" He ran towards the room. Whether or not he had been lied to for all these years, but deep down, Josie was still his world.
"What's going on?" He demanded.
Maggie looked up. She whispered. "She started coding."
Antonio turned back to watch the scene. His heart sank as they shocked her body. He watched in horror as the nurse started pounding on her chest. He watched them push medication into her IV. The doctor stopped them and shocked her again. He could feel the tears building up. He looked back to Maggie. "You do whatever it takes to save her."
Maggie looked to Xavier. "He can't be alone."
"I'll…" Antonio didn't realize what he was saying until he said. "I'll watch him."
Xavier looked up at him. "I can take care of myself."
"Hey… Xavier…" Antonio reached for him.
"You didn't want to know about us before… why should you care now?!" Xavier screamed at him. He took off down the hall and Antonio just stood there.
"Go after him!" Maggie shouted at Antonio.
Antonio took off down the hall after Xavier. "Xavier! Come back!" It didn't take long for Antonio to catch up to him. He had collapsed to his knees by the elevators. Antonio came to a halt a few feet away. He didn't know what to call Xavier. Everything in his body was screaming that Xavier truly was his son. He also couldn't forget hearing the words that he had shouted at Antonio. That Antonio hadn't wanted to know about him. If he had had the chance, he would've done everything in his power to be a part of his children's lives. Even if he couldn't be with their mother. "Xavier."
Xavier looked up at him. "Go away."
"I can't do that." Antonio knelt in front of him. "Xavier, look at me… please."
Xavier looked up at him. Right then, Antonio knew everything that he had heard from Gaby, Jules and Xavier himself was true, Xavier was his son. "I couldn't protect her… now… I might lose her. Zoë isn't here… neither is Mimi."
"Who's… who's Mimi?"
"Mama's mom."
"Oh… well where are they?" Antonio asked in a soothing voice.
"Umm… I don't know if Mama would want you to know." Xavier whispered.
"Okay… let's focus on the here and now…" Antonio said. "I know that… we don't have any relationship… and I'm not sure what you've been told… but until your mom is awake… I'll keep you company… okay?"
Xavier nodded. "Is she going to even wake up?"
Antonio nodded. "She's got the best doctors and nurses taking care of her. She's going to be okay."
"Did… did you know about the baby?"
Antonio shook his head. "No. I didn't know."
"Jules… she said that you're the dad."
"I met your mom again… when she and I were both undercover. Neither of us knew who we really were… and well… I guess the result is that baby."
"Will… will you be a part of our lives now?" Xavier didn't want to push things. He had wanted to have his dad in his life for the last decade. Now, he had that chance.
"I want to be, yes… but I have a feeling that your mom's going to have a say in that." Antonio was sitting in front of him.
Xavier threw himself in his father's arms. Antonio was caught off guard but he hugged him. "Can… can… we… go check on…?" Xavier's voice was shaking.
"Sure." Antonio helped him up and together they went to check on Josie.
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A week passed by and there still wasn't much change in Josie's condition. Antonio spent most of his time at the hospital keeping an eye on her and checking up on Xavier. He hadn't told Eva and Diego anything yet, but his mother was keeping care of them. He had been more than a little pissed off when he had found out that not only had Gaby been on this big secret, but so had his parents. He was getting a soda from the vending machine when Gaby jogged up to him.
"Antonio."
"Hey, Gaby." He said as he pulled the bottle from the machine.
"Antonio… come on… talk to me."
"I haven't gotten any answers, yet. Gaby… answer me this… how long have you know that she was alive?"
Gaby sighed. "Antonio, come on."
"No… answer me."
"I've known since she came back in 2005… I was the one who told her where you lived."
"I never saw her come to the house."
"That would be because Laura answered the door. She was 5 months pregnant with Diego… she must have recognized Josie or something because she told Josie to stay dead to you."
Antonio wanted to punch something. Laura had been gone since 2006. She had always been a jealous woman, but forbidding Josie was seeing Antonio? That would make sense considering everything that had happened in the last 8 years. "So, you've been a part of their lives?"
Gaby nodded. There was a sadness in her eyes. "Yeah… we wanted to tell you… but Josie… she didn't want to ruin your marriage. She never let me or Mami talk about you. She knew about your kids… that was it. I never got to tell her about Laura's accident."
"Hmph." Antonio grunted. "Look, I have to get back to Xavier and Josie. They were doing tests."
"Is she getting any better?"
"They don't know. They pulled her out of the coma… but she's not waking up."
They walked together to the room. Xavier was pacing outside. He saw Gaby and ran to her. "Tia!"
She hugged him. "Hey, Xavier."
"Tia?" Antonio asked.
"Isn't that Auntie in Spanish?"
Antonio nodded. "Yeah."
"Then, she's Tia."
Antonio was still overwhelmed with this. "Okay. Is the doctor still in there?"
Xavier nodded. "It's taking a long time."
Antonio could see the worry. "Have you tried calling your Mimi?"
"Yeah… she and Zoë will be here as soon as they can."
"Still can't tell me where they are?"
Xavier turned to Gaby. She nodded that it was okay. "They're in Paris."
"Paris… like Paris, France?" Antonio's eyes bulged.
"Yeah… um…"
"Your daughter is a cooking wunderkind." Gaby jumped in. "She got a chance to go to a special cooking exchange program in Paris… Josie insisted she take it… Dixie went as her guardian."
"She's 14."
"Yeah… but Antonio… let's worry about Josie… for now." Gaby pointed to the room.
The doctor came out of the room and slid the door closed. "Antonio, Gaby, Xavier." Alec Willhite greeted them.
"Alec." Antonio shook his hand.
"Jules filled me in… I understand that this whole situation is more complicated than normal… so I'll fill you guys in."
"Is Mama gonna be okay?"
"Every test we've done has come back normal."
"Then why is she still unconscious?" Antonio asked harshly. "Sorry, Alec."
"It's okay, Antonio… I get that this is tough… the only thing we can come up with is she's going through something in her mind. The brain… that's one area that is hard to predict. All we can keep doing is wait and see…"
"Thanks, Alec." Antonio said. "What about the baby?"
"Well, our OB says that she's about 4 and a half months along. Baby's growing well… heartrate is normal."
"Was it hurt during the attack?"
Alec shook his head. "No. Josie shielded the baby with her arms and that's where she got the most injuries."
Antonio breathed a sigh of relief. "Thank God."
"You guys can go in and see her." Alec slid the door open.
Xavier didn't hesitate and headed back into the room. Gaby and Antonio thanked Alec again and went into the room. They stood back to let Xavier be with his mother. Antonio was physically in pain seeing Josie like this. Her face was still swollen and bruised. She wasn't intubated anymore but she was still on a nasal cannula. She was kept on a heart monitor and IV. Her left arm was in a sling from the dislocated shoulder she'd suffered from defending herself. Antonio let the silent tears fall as he prayed that she and the baby would be okay and that somehow, he'd be able to do right by her.
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Josie felt like she was in some horrible dream. She felt like she was locked in some cage, unable to more or speak. Significant moments from her past flashed before her.
January 1998…
"Are you sure?" Dixie asked her again.
"Yes, Mama. I'm pregnant… Antonio's the father and he thinks I'm dead!" Josie screeched. "I want to go home… I want to be with him… raise our babies together."
"Babies… plural?"
Josie pulled the ultrasound from her purse and shoved it in her mother's face. "Yes! Twins. The doctor had told me the day before this shit happened… I was going to tell him that night… but no! Instead, I get picked up and put on a plane. Then I hear there's an explosion and supposedly… I'm dead."
"Josie… it was the only way to keep you safe!"
"Antonio was keeping me safe."
"He knocked you up!" Dixie was losing her patience.
"He didn't rape me, Mama… we made the choice together. I'm almost 18."
"You'll probably just be 18 the day those babies are born." Dixie had a strong craving for some Bourbon.
"So? You were 19 when I was born!"
"Yeah… well… I didn't want you going and doing what I did."
"I don't care… I'm having these babies… I'm raising them on my own and when I can… I'm going back to Chicago. Antonio has the right to know… they're his babies too!"
"No. You're never going back there. I don't care." Dixie stomped her foot. "I have to go to Chicago and bury an empty coffin… I have to live this lie… I'm not about to have you ruin it because you can't see the bigger picture!"
June 1998…
"Ahh!" Josie screamed. "Mama! It hurts… it hurts so much."
Dixie grabbed the cold cloth and patted Josie's face. "I know, baby… I know… It'll be over soon."
"That's what you said last night." Josie groaned, leaning against the pillows.
Dixie looked at her watch. "If you have these babies tonight… they'll be your birthday gift."
Josie looked at her.
"It's your birthday, baby." Dixie pushed Josie's bangs from her eyes. "I know… I know I've been hard on you… but… I was so worried about you… and now… you're gonna be a mom and… you'll understand…"
"Mama…" Josie clenched her teeth as another contraction hit. "Mama, I know that this… is…" She focused on her breathing that she had learned. "For our own good… I just… I just wish he was here… they… promise me that I ca… Ahhh!"
Dixie ran from the room. "Nurse! Someone!"
A nurse came running down the hall and into Josie's room. "What's going on here, cher?"
"They're coming in faster… harder…" Josie gasped. "I think… I think I may… have… wet myself."
The nurse came over and checked the monitor. She then lifted the sheets. "Darlin', that was your water breaking… baby #1 wants to come now."
"But… I… Ahhh!" She cried out, her breathing was becoming ragged.
The nurse hit the call button on the wall. "Don't worry, cher… it's okay. We've got you."
A bunch of other nurses and the doctor came rushing in. The doctor quickly checked her. She nodded to the nurses who began to pack things up. "Josie… it's time… these babies are ready… we're gonna take you to the delivery room now, okay?"
Josie nodded. "Can… Mama come?"
"Sure… she can help you focus on your breathing." The doctor nodded to Dixie. "Come on, let's get everybody ready."
Dixie took Josie's hand. "It's gonna be okay. I'm here."
"I'm scared."
Dixie kissed her forehead. "That's normal… I was scared too."
Thirty minutes, and an epidural, later, Josie had delivered a perfectly healthy baby boy. The nurse laid him on her chest as the doctor checked on the second baby. "He's beautiful." Josie whispered.
"Look at all that dark hair." Dixie exclaimed. She gently stroked his tiny hand. "He's perfect."
The nurse smiled. "10 fingers and 10 toes. He's healthy. Now, I gotta take him to weigh him and clean him up… then I promise, I'll bring him right back to you."
Josie nodded. She leaned against the pillows. She was exhausted. "Do I push again?" She asked the doctor.
"Not yet… not all twins are born minutes apart… sometimes they're born a couple hours apart… you've gone back down to 6 centimeters. That's normal. We're going to keep you here and we're gonna wait until that little one's brother or sister decides to join the party."
"Will he get to stay with me?"
"Sure thing… if you want, you'll be able to try nursing him." The doctor patted her hand. "I'll be back to check on you, and Cecilia, here, will stay with you to help you and to let me know when you're ready to push again."
"Thank you." Josie smiled. "Oh… that epidural doesn't make all the pain go away."
Dixie had to laugh. "No… sadly it doesn't… but hey… you've got a healthy baby boy. What are you going to name him?"
Cecilia reappeared with the baby. "Here you go mommy." She gently laid him in Josie's arms. "He's a healthy 5 and a half pounds and 20 inches."
Josie cradled her son. "Hi. Oh… he's so small."
"He's healthy." Dixie whispered.
"He does need a name, doesn't he?" Josie looked to her mother.
Dixie nodded. "He does… we can't keep calling him 'baby'."
Josie looked at him. His head was covered with dark hair like Antonio's. "Xavier."
"That's a strong name." Dixie said.
"Xavier Luc Dawson."
"Josie…"
"It's his father's name… he has the right to it." Josie said.
"What about your name?" Dixie asked. "You're not 'Dawson'."
"No… but it doesn't matter."
Dixie knew she wasn't going to win. Instead she looked down at her grandson. "Hi Xavier. I'm your Mimi."
"Mimi?"
"I don't want to be grandma." Dixie laughed. "I'm too young."
"Whatever you…oh!" Josie exclaimed.
"Pain?"
"No… just… I don't know." Josie said. She looked to the monitor. "Oh… I think the… uh… labour started again."
"If it gets too much…"
"I'm okay." Josie said. The epidural was working. She barely felt anything. She was in awe of her son. "Xavier… Mama will always be here… no matter what." She whispered to him.
"Can I hold him?" Dixie asked.
Josie nodded. Dixie carefully lifted him from his mother's arms and gently rocked him as she sang him a lullaby. He yawned a little and fell asleep. Dixie looked back at Josie. Josie had been so tired from being up the past day and half that she was resting. She wasn't going to wake her. She'd need all her strength for when it came time to deliver Xavier's twin.
A couple hours later and it was time to push again. Cecilia had taken Xavier to the nursery. "As soon as his brother or sister is here, I'll bring him right back."
Josie had nodded. Dixie was holding her hand and helping her focus on her breathing. It didn't take long before Josie had a daughter.
"A beautiful little sister for Xavier." The doctor announced. "She's healthy."
Josie could tell as soon as her daughter began to cry, that everything was going to be okay. Soon, she and Dixie were crying too.
"You did it, Josie." Dixie kissed her forehead. "They're beautiful."
Cecilia had taken the baby to clean up and weigh. She quickly reappeared by Josie's bed. She laid her in Josie's arms. "Five pound even… and 18 inches."
"She's smaller than her brother." Josie said. "She has the same dark hair though."
"Daddy has dark hair?" Cecilia asked.
Josie nodded. "He does."
"They're beautiful… congratulations." Cecilia patted her shoulder. "And happy birthday."
"Thank you." Josie wept.
"I'll go get Xavier. Then we'll move you all to your room." Cecilia left to go get Xavier.
"What are you going to name her?"
"Zoë." Jes smiled. "Zoë Christina Dawson."
Dixie was so proud of her. She knew Josie would be an amazing mom. She also knew that this was going to be a hard road ahead.
Later that night, Josie was alone with the babies. They were both asleep. Josie lay back against the pillows and wept. "Antonio." She cried. "Antonio… I wish you were here."
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Antonio had sent Xavier home with Gaby to change and get a little rest. Jules had gone to the school to deal with his absences. Antonio was alone in Josie's room. She hadn't woken up yet. He took her hand. "Josie… I'm here… I'm here." He rubbed it gently. "I'm sorry… I'm sorry I didn't come looking for you… or… be there for you and the kids… Baby… forgive me." Despite all the anger and betrayal he felt, he couldn't hold it against her, not anymore. He still loved her. He wanted her back.
"Antonio…" Josie's voice was hoarse. "Antonio… I wish you were here."
"I am here, Jo… I'm here." He didn't know what was going on, but she was talking. That had to be something.
The rest of what she was saying came out as mutters and it was unclear. Antonio just stayed and held her hand, something he wished he could've done for the last almost 16 years. She wasn't waking up, but she was talking. He took that as a good sign.
"Antonio." Someone's hand shook his shoulder gently.
Antonio forced himself to wake up. He didn't even realize he had fallen asleep. He wiped his eyes. He looked at Josie. She was still unconscious. He looked over his shoulder and jumped out of his chair. "Dixie."
"Gaby told me you were here."
"When did… when did you get in?" He asked.
"Late last night. Zoë is with Xavier and Gaby. I told them I wanted to come talk to you." Dixie pulled up the other chair next to his. "Sit."
Antonio sat down.
"You have a lot of questions."
"I do." He swallowed the lump that was forming in his throat. "I've been in the dark since that night."
"I know. Antonio, I wish I could say something to make the pain or betrayal you're feeling any better, but there isn't."
"Can you tell me, at least… why?"
Dixie looked at her daughter. "It was the only way we could keep her safe." Antonio was hurt, Dixie could see that. "I know what she meant to you… probably still means to you… but after that incident with Billy… then the threats… I… we didn't have a choice?"
"Was Billy in on it?"
Dixie shook her head. "No. He didn't know until, well… until he was on his death bed. The CPD brass had made sure of that."
"Why did… on his?" Antonio was trying to understand all of this. "What?"
"Billy… he didn't find out Josie was still alive until he was on his death bed… after that concussive blast destroyed his liver in 2003… they wanted to see if Josie was a match to donate part of her liver… but… not only had he not been told that Josie was alive… we found out that Josie wasn't his biological daughter."
Antonio's eyes bulged and his jaw dropped. "What!?"
"I'm not proud of it… but when Billy and I first got engaged… we had a fight because I had caught him with another woman… she was a CI but I hadn't given him a chance to explain… so I went and slept with some other guys… not my best moment… we made up… then we found out we were pregnant. I had always assumed that Josie was his. He had B-positive blood… I'm O-negative and so is her father because Josie is O-negative."
"Shit."
"Billy forgave me, saying he never deserved to have a daughter or wife as caring as we were… we were there until the end. He left the house to me and I gifted it to Josie to protect her identity and the kids."
"She was at his memorial."
Dixie nodded. "I told everyone she was my niece that had come with me to keep me sane."
"I remember." Antonio said. He flashed back to that day. "She had contacts in… because her eyes were brown… and her hair was the same shade of black that is today."
"Antonio… I know you have to be beyond pissed off and betrayed… but know that Josie always wanted to tell you… she never wanted to leave you behind. She and I fought it about it so much. When the kids were born… she insisted on having them carry your last name. You are their father on their birth certificates."
A tear fell. "I am?"
Dixie nodded. "You are. She told them about you every chance she got. She kept all their Father's Day crafts from school… she said that one day, they'd be able to give them to you. Despite what your wife told her… she never gave up hope that your children would get to meet you… know you."
"I… I… I don't know what to say." Antonio whispered. The emotions were so overwhelming. "I prayed that everything I had been told was a lie… that she was always alive… that my child was safe."
"I can't give you back these lost years… but when Josie wakes up… I hope that you guys can make something work… for the kids."
Antonio nodded. He turned to Josie. She was still unconscious. "Think she can hear all this?"
Dixie touched her daughter's cheek. "I'm sure she can. I just want her happy again. She hasn't truly been happy since we got her out of Chicago."
"Dixie, I swear to you… I want nothing more than that for her… Uh… can… we …" He nodded towards the door.
Dixie kissed Josie's cheek and followed him into the hallway.
"I haven't gotten to telling her the truth about Laura."
"Does she need to know?"
"Yeah, she does." Antonio sighed. "I know that Laura is the reason I never knew she was back in town… that I had two children already…"
"I see." Dixie sighed. "What does she have to say now? I noticed you don't wear a wedding ring."
"She's… she passed away back in '06."
"I'm sorry, Antonio."
"It's fine… I've… I've been able to move on… better than I did from losing Jo. I never got over that."
Dixie took his hand. "Antonio… give this time…"
"Do you know she's pregnant?"
"What? No."
Antonio sighed. "We were both undercover… I didn't know it was her… she didn't know it was me."
"Are you telling me… that… you're the father?" Dixie leaned against the wall.
Antonio hung his head. "Yes, ma'am."
"Does Josie know who you really are?"
"She does now. My partner… Jules… turns out she's also been working with Jo."
Dixie sighed. "Okay… this is going to be challenging no matter what. Let's just take this one day at a time." She looked at her watch. "The kids are going to be here right away, Gaby's bringing them… do… would you like to meet your daughter?"
"I do… but will she want to meet me is the question?"
Dixie pointed behind him. "Antonio, I'd like you to meet Zoë Christina Dawson… your daughter."
Antonio spun around. Zoë was the spitting image of her mother. She had the same curls in her hair that Josie had back then, but her hair was black like his. Her eyes were the unique blue-green as Josie. She had the freckles across the bridge of her nose like Josie, but her skin was more tanned like his own and she had some of his mannerisms. He could tell that by the way she gestured with her hands while she was talking with her brother and Gaby.
"Zoë, this is…"
"I remember the pictures." Zoë stepped forward. She was a little taller than Josie, but she was of the same slim build as her mother. "Hi… Dad."
Antonio nodded. "Hi Zoë… Umm… can… can I get a hug?"
Zoë nodded and threw herself in his arms. "Xavier told me how you've been staying… taking… watching out for him and Mama."
Antonio nodded. "It's the least I can do… right now." He held her tightly. "There is so much… so, so much I want to ask you… to tell you… and we'll have time… there's no more hiding." He signalled to Xavier to join them. He held both his children. "I'm not losing you guys again."
They both nodded and wiped away some of the tears that were running down their faces. "Any news?"
"Um… she was talking a little… almost like she was sleep talking… the doctors said that she and… and the baby are doing good."
"Xavier said… that… the… the baby… you're its dad too?"
Antonio nodded. "Yeah… but we have so much to catch up on… but… for now… go in there… sit with your mama… tell her you're okay. I'll wait out here with your Tia Gaby."
They nodded and headed into Josie's room with their grandmother.
Gaby joined Antonio and looked in. "How you holding up?"
"I don't know, sis… I don't… It…" He sighed. "I have four kids now… another one on the way… three of them… I didn't know existed until a week ago."
"Antonio… I'm sorry." Gaby put her arm on his shoulder. "I really am."
"You didn't have a choice… she didn't have a choice… no one… had a choice."
"Once she wakes up… you guys will have all the chances and time in the world… I don't think the Brass or anyone else is going to stop you anymore."
"Did… did Josie tell you that Billy Fraser wasn't her dad?"
Gaby nodded. "Yeah. She did. Her mom couldn't tell her who her real dad is… she's been living in the dark about that… but I think the one thing she felt guiltiest about… was not being able to tell you the truth."
"What makes you say that?"
"Because… I saw the letters she had written to you… I heard the pain in her voice whenever she spoke about you to the kids. The pain in her eyes whenever someone brought you up. All of it."
"Letters?"
"Yeah… Jules has them… they're… they're for if something were ever to happen to her… for you to know the truth."
Antonio turned back to look at the kids. "I'm gonna have to talk to Eva and Diego about all this."
"Yeah… they have a half-brother and a half-sister… they should know them."
"What if they hate me for this?" Antonio asked.
"Who? The twins… or Eva and Diego?"
"Eva and Diego."
Gaby ran her hand through her hair. "I don't know. I don't think they can hate you for something you had no control over… you couldn't tell them something you didn't know."
"I'll tell them after I know Josie's okay."
Gaby smiled. "Good plan. Hey… you look like you need coffee… let's go get a cup and come back in a little bit. Give the kids some time with her."
"Yeah… coffee sounds good right about now."
*SBU*SBU*SBU*SBU*SBU*SBU*SBU*SBU*SBU*SBU*SBU*
Xavier, Zoë and Dixie were chatting amongst themselves when Josie squeezed her mother's hand. They looked at her.
Josie's eyes slowly fluttered open. "Mama? Xavier… Zoë?" She whispered hoarsely.
"Mama!" Zoë exclaimed. "You're awake."
"Mhmm." Josie looked around. She was confused. "Where… where am I?"
"You're in the hospital, Mama." Xavier went to the other side of her bed.
"What… what happened?" Josie looked at her arm. "Wait… Biz…"
"Jules and the rest of your team got them." Xavier replied. "It's over. Jules said you're safe… and that… well… you get to pick your next assignment."
Josie's free hand flew to her stomach. "The baby?"
Dixie pushed some of Josie's hair away from her eyes. "The baby is fine. Doc says it's very healthy."
A tear fell down Josie's cheek. "I was scared… for the first time since… since you guys were born… I was scared for my life…"
"Mama, it's okay. It's over now… you're fine."
"Wait… Xavier… I swear… I heard…"
There was a knock on her door. Everyone turned to face the doorway. "Hi Josie." Antonio stepped into the room.
Josie let a small gasp escape her lips. "Antonio."
*SBU*SBU*SBU*SBU*SBU*SBU*SBU*SBU*SBU*SBU*SBU*
A/N: A little shorter than the last few chapters… but I needed to leave it there… what do you think should happen next? Let me know what you think. Love getting your feedback! Side note… I'm starting a new job this week… hours will be a little different, but more stable… and I will most definitely be updating this story, and my other CPD Fanfic, The Rose… just maybe not as frequently as I have been recently, but I will be updating! Lots of love! Nicole
