Mayor Charles Falsootu's perspective:

The Mayor of Gotham City was not happy.

"You mean you had The Batman and Catwoman trapped on a construction site with three choppers and dozens of ground cops," said Falsootu over his phone, "And they still got away?

"According to my men," newly promoted Commissioner Ronald Studge tried to explain on the other line, "They were faked out by ventriloquism."

"That's your excuse?" asked Falsootu angrily. "You knew they were two of the best-trained people on the planet! I want those officers told that I allow only two strikes, not three. This is not baseball. And for your sake, Commissioner, there had better not be another blown opportunity like this. Ask Gordon if anyone is irreplaceable."

"I'm sorry, your honor," said Studge.

"We'll see if you mean it," said Falsootu, hanging up. He could not believe this. True, Batman and Catwoman were elite talents, but the police were thoroughly outmaneuvered.

No matter. Now that I've spooked them, they won't make that mistake again. Sooner or later, the Bat will fall flat!

Batman's perspective:

The Batman and Robin were listening to a recording from a bug they had placed in a newly opened place of business. "Now we know we can make enough smelly ice to stay in this business for a long time. And we all owe it all to the fat bitch."

"You were right," said Robin.

"I knew the Traylors would test the waters now that we've fallen out of favor with the authorities," said Batman. "Time to show them otherwise." He picked up the Batmobile's phone and called The Batgirl.

"Don't tell me," said Batgirl. "They're selling drugs."

"Yes," confirmed Batman. "Let's go."

The Batmobile was driven to the district where the place of business in question, Sammy's Sweets, was. It was parked a good ways away from the small target building, since it had to be kept hidden, lest they be discovered by the GCPD.

Batman and Robin waited outside the part of Sammy's where the bug was, waiting for Batgirl. "Hope I wasn't too late, boys," said Batgirl upon arriving.

"Early enough," said Batman as blasted a hole that The Terrific Trio could run through. They saw three men packaging meth, presumably from out of town. Batman's fist and the boots of Batgirl and Robin each knocked one down.

"OK, you win," said one of the men. "We're workin' fer an overweight chick. Sounds like she's from the deep South."

"Are you crazy?" said the other. "You'll get us killed!"

"Too late," taunted Robin.

"Can the smack talk," said Batman uneasily. "We're fugitives. Anything we can't prove won't be trusted anymore."

"You'll tell the police what you told us, right?" asked Batgirl sternly.

The first man gulped but looked at the other two. They were shaking their heads.

"I don't know what you're talkin' about," said the first man.

"Coward," said Batgirl in frustration.

"Better than dead," said the man.

Soon enough the police had shut down the place. Batman, Batgirl, and Robin were a safe distance away.

"I can't believe their luck," said Batgirl, referring to the Traylor crime family. "We became wanted people just in time for that to save the rednecks."

"The Traylors' luck seems to be endless," agreed Batman. "There's a reason we haven't caught them yet."

"Bright side time," Robin tried to be the voice of optimism. "At least we stopped them from expanding their cartel."

"True," Batman realized. "Batgirl, take Robin on your Batcycle. "I'm paying the Traylors a visit. I'm going to show them that isn't a break."

The Riddler's perspective:

With a rope and blowtorch, The Riddler was able to get his old accomplices, the blonde-haired Query and Chinese Echo, out of Blackgate Prison. He was driving them to Gotham City.

"Thanks for coming for us," said Query.

"You know I had to," said Riddler. "You're my only true friends. Besides, the cops have turned on The Batman. It's not like it couldn't happen to a nicer guy, but sooner or later, they'll catch him. That can't happen. He's mine."

"Hold on," said Echo. "Every time we try to take him out, we end up in Blackgate, and you in Arkham."

"I'm no happier about that than you," The Riddler assured Echo. "We're playing for keeps this time. We are aiming to do nothing less than kill them!"

Batman's perspective:

Using his Batgrapple to enter the windowsill of the meeting room of the Traylors' restaurant and criminal headquarters, Country Buffet, Batman saw them discussing crime and business. Breaking through the window, Batman leapt onto the table.

Batman was drawing a Batarang when Al Traylor stopped his son, Joey, from drawing a pistol and said, "Don't boy. You'll just get your trigger finger itchy in the worst possible way."

"What brings you here this time, Little Bat?" asked Al's younger sister, Becky "The Hog" Traylor. The Hog was a two hundred fifty pound woman, most of it muscle, and the head of the Southern-born family that controlled the Gotham underworld.

"As I guess you know by know," said Batman for the record, "I've shut down your new drug venture. Don't think my... legal problems are an opportunity for you."

"What makes you think Ah thought it'd work?" asked The Hog.

"You shouldn't have," said Batman, remembering that The Hog's incredible strength was matched by her cleverness. "But why would you go through with it otherwise?"

The Hog leaned over the table and smiled. "Maybe 'cause Ah wanted the pleasure of your company, Little Bat?"

"What do you want?" asked Batman.

"After all you did for this city," The Hog turned this conversation in another direction, "It's turned on you. Ah hear you're becomin' less popular even with the critters outside."

"You're not the first to make that argument," said Batman. Catwoman had tried it as well. "The answer's no."

"Please, hear me out before you go," said The Hog. "Ah still have influence. With your help, Ah can... convince the Mayor that you're one of the good guys."

"Again, what do you want?" demanded Batman. He wanted this badly. Only problem was that he could not trust The Hog.

"What Ah always want from you," said The Hog, taking a deep breath, looking up, and running her hands over the sides of her head. "A chance. Ah know Ah ain't the most attractive or kind woman in the world. But despite that, you know you've got affections. You gotta listen to those affections. Bein' remembered as no better than me ain't how you wanna go out, is it? Besides, you'd be surprised how many guys who try to look past my weight end up bein' happy that they did."

"I believe that," admitted Batman. "And I'll do you one better: I wish I could believe that this was the answer. But it's not. And that's all you get."

As Batman walked towards the broken window, The Hog implored, "Offer's on the table." Batman was ashamed to admit to himself that it was hard to refuse. Having the city he loved turn against him was agony that intensified by the day. He feared that there would come a point where he could take it no more and would do anything, including appease The Hog's lust for him and for power, to regain the respect of Gotham City.

But that time had not come.

The Hog's perspective:

"He's hurt," realized The Hog. "He'll get in my lap soon enough."

"Ah got a better idea," said Al. "Ah'm havin' him trailed and blowin' the whistle on 'im. Ah say we take care of 'im once and for all!"

"Yeah," agreed Joey.

"I see no rational reason to disagree with this plan," said Yuji Takahan, the Asian lawyer and accountant of the family.

Daisy Thompson, The Hog's cousin and communications expert, added, "Ah hope nobody's expectin' me to disagree. Two and a half years of havin' Batman in our hair in enough."

"Ah appreciate your advise," The Hog told a kind lie, "But Ah'm the boss. Ah say he can be valuable to us and his anger at the city will boil until he finds my offer appealin'. Or gets caught. Either way, he ain't gonna be a problem for long."

"With all due respect," said Al, "Ah think that schoolgirl crush of yours is cloudin' your judgment."

"Yes," concurred Yuji. "If not for your feelings for him, he has less than an eight percent chance of still being alive today."

The Hog walked towards Al until she was in his face. Al shivered.

"Papa left me in command of this family," The Hog reminded him. "Do you think he was wrong?"

"N-no," said Al. "I'm sor-sorry. Yuji, let it go."

"Apology accepted," said The Hog. She stepped back and held out her hand. Al kissed it.

Bruce Wayne's perspective:

At lunch break the next day at work, Bruce checked the news on his phone. He had apparently been too preoccupied with The Hog to take notice of The Riddler's escape. Worse, it seemed that because the police no longer considered Batman a friend, Riddler had intimidated a few journalists.

That The Riddler would bully was a little surprising. His M.O. was not thuggery. Not that he was offended by it so much as he considered it to be amateurish. It looked as though he would be more careful and ruthless this time.

That evening, Bruce told Tim Drake and Barbara Gordon that their priority was The Riddler.

"First the Traylors, now The Riddler," said Tim. "Even though we don't have the GCPD on our side anymore. The more things change, the more they stay the same."

"Of course, the police won't stop looking for us just because The Riddler's loose," lamented Barbara. "We're gonna need eyes in the backs of our heads."

"Mm-hmm," agreed Bruce. "Either of you want out of this team, I won't think any less of you." Barbara and Tim said nothing. "Then to the Batcave!"

Batman's perspective:

The journalists intimidated by The Riddler had reported some riddles that they had been left with: "Where does the baseball player expect to be," "I'm a chair but my co-worker is not a table but a couch."

"It's obvious he's robbing a furniture place," said Batgirl.

"Doesn't narrow it down much," said Robin. "Isn't there such a place that starts with "Home?"

"No," said Batman. "That's what The Riddler wants us to think. A baseball player doesn't expect to make it to home plate because it's so hard to hit home runs. But doubles are common."

"Sorry to contradict my superior," argued Robin, "But there's no furniture or home improvement place in Gotham named after the number two."

"Not so fast," said Batgirl thoughtfully. "When Barbara Gordon had to buy some furniture because she... moved out of her father's house..." She stopped. Dredging up memories of a father whose illustrious career was unjustly ruined was difficult for her.

"Take your time," Batman allowed. Ordinarily, he was not the most sensitive person in the world, but knowing how hard this was on Batgirl, latitude was necessary.

"There's a place called 72nd Furnishing," Batgirl finally said. "Only one of these places with the number two... sort of."

"Only place that remotely fits," said Batman. "Let's ride."

They drove near 72nd Furnishing and crept into the place. Employees were strapping two chairs and a sofa onto The Riddler's car as Query and Echo held guns up to them. When they were finished, The Riddler said, "As thankful as I am, I'm afraid we'll still have to kill you."

"What?" screamed one of the employees.

"I know it's disgraceful," said Riddler. "It's just that I wanted to see The Batman tonight. You're examples of what happens when he gets the riddles wrong. Girls!"

Query and Echo cocked their pistols. So much for the sneak attack.

"Riddler," yelled Batman. "Here I am!"

"Ah, your wits haven't dimmed after all, Batman," Riddler faced his foes. He drew his MAC-16 as Query and Echo pointed their guns at The Terrific Trio.

"Hold on, pretty boy," said Batgirl softly. "I can tell you didn't get enough love as a boy, but if you'd just turn your life around there's plenty of women in town who will give you the affection you need. Who knows? I might be one of them."

Batman was shocked to hear that. Batgirl was the last woman he could see being attracted to Riddler. He saw no indication that this unconventional strategy was working.

It was then that police sirens sounded. It seemed that the police had been waiting for Batman as well.

"I suppose you get to live a little longer," said The Riddler, throwing Batman a large envelope. "In the car, girls!"

Batman was not about to let them get away, but Batgirl got in front of him. "You're not actually chasing with the cops almost here, are you?"

"Out of my way, scum lover," said Batman.

"I'll tell you what a hypocrite you are later," said Batgirl. "If you haven't gotten yourself caught."

"She's right," said Robin. "It's suicide to not break this off. There'll be another day."

"Yes," Batman finally relented. "Another day." They returned to their vehicles and fled.

While getting away from the police was not easy, the Batmobile and Batcycle were not ordinary vehicles. Within minutes, The Terrific Trio had lost their pursuers. The Batmobile's phone was ringing, so Batman answered it.

"I think we're in the clear," said Batgirl. "Your Batnavicomputer got The Riddler?"

"He's blended into traffic," said Batman. "And I'm fairly sure he escaped the police himself."

Returning to the Batcave, Gotham's misunderstood heroes were unmasked for comfort. Batman asked Batgirl, "I knew your father should have been more restrictive about the men you date."

"Bruce Thomas Wayne," said Batgirl furiously, "I know - and don't deny it - that you have feelings for the almost literal Cat-burglar and hillbilly mob boss. So don't you criticize!"

Batman looked at Robin and then Alfred. They were shaking their heads at him. Batman put on a robe to cover up his Batsuit and stormed off towards the stairs.

"Master Bruce," Alfred tried to remind Batman. "You have to change to normal clothes."

"Tomorrow," said Batman.

The Riddler's perspective:

The Riddler looked at his rear view mirror. Batman and his friends were no longer in pursuit, but the GCPD was.

"Batman's looking out for himself," said The Riddler. "Who would've thought him this reasonable."

"Probably the kids," reasoned Echo.

"In any case, what drink does a lot of kids find cool but no adult find tasty?" asked The Riddler. He hit a button to open the trunk so Echo could dump a barrel of slime through it. The pursuing police cars slipped and slid.

Query quickly opened her window and stuck her head out of it. "Eat our dust, coppers!" Sure enough, the car was pulling away as the police drivers struggled to regain control of their vehicles.

"I can't believe I'm saying this," said Echo, "But thank God for the cops!"

"What?" asked The Riddler. He tried not to laugh. "We were about to kill them."

"Maybe, but probably not," said Query. "So many others have tried to do it with guns. We've tried. We need a better plan for that."

"You have a point," admitted Riddler thoughtfully. "Of course, I always have a plan."

Detective Harvey Bullock's perspective:

The next day, Detective Harvey Bullock and his partner, Renee Montoya, recently promoted to Detective herself, were investigating in an attempt to discover The Riddler's whereabouts. It was then that Bullock's phone sounded.

"Bullock, Montoya," said Lieutenant Freeman, "We've got another riddle. It's been leaked."

"I hate puzzles," groaned Bullock.

"Tough shit," said Freeman. "It's, 'I live in an orc's original home.' Best of luck."

"An orc's original home," said Bullock.

"Unlike you," smiled Montoya, "I enjoy a good crossword puzzle. This one's got me stumped."

"I think I got it," said Bullock proudly. "Saw a movie with bad guys called orcs years ago. I think they lived in caves."

"Not much to go on, is it?"

"Original cave. Let's look up the first cave to be found in the greater Gotham area. Ain't nothin' else he could've meant."

Sure enough, they discovered that a cave southwest of Gotham was the first ever discovered there, but there was no one there except rats.

"Looks like he's lying his ass off," realized Montoya.

"Don't make no sense," said a bewildered Bullock. "He wants to prove he's smarter than us an' stump us. But you're right. The riddle leads here."

"Unless there's something we've missed," pondered Montoya.

Bruce's perspective:

Bruce, Barbara, and Tim were seeing the Riddler's latest riddle told by a local news show.

"I believe J.R.R. Tolkien's spooky creation lived in caves," said Bruce.

"Yeah, that fits with what little I've seen of them," realized Tim. Barbara nodded her head in agreement.

"Although," said Bruce cautiously, "He's not a very tough man. I doubt he could handle life in a cave. But that is what the riddle points to. Once you've eliminated the impossible..."

They were halfway down the Batcave's stairs when Barbara snapped her fingers. "No, boys. It's not a cave. He just wants us to think it's one."

"Then what could it be?" asked Tim.

"I read novels," said Barbara. "So I know what he meant by 'An orc's original home.' Tolkien's version of orcs was elves transformed into a different race. Elves, you see, live in forests."

Bruce lowered his eyebrows. "He's sharp. Very, very, sharp! Good work, soldier."

Batman's perspective:

Vehicles were unfit for forest travel; anywhere you went, there might have been a tree , log, branch, or large animal in the way. So The Terrific Trio disembarked at the forest entrance where the shortest path from Gotham would take you.

"Are you sure the easiest way is the right one?" asked Robin.

"If the Riddler was more specific of where in the forest he was," said Batman, "He'd have said so with a riddle. Besides, I read on that face of his that he doesn't just want to outsmart us this time. He wants us dead. Sorry, Batgirl."

"Don't worry," said Batgirl. "I've dealt with my share of bad boys. Robin, you'll understand when you're older."

Robin nodded and drew his Batgrapple, but Batman gripped him by the shooting wrist.

"No," commanded Batman. "He expects us to travel by treetops. Let's see if we can catch him by surprise."

The three vigilantes walked through the forest. There was no sign of The Riddler and his henchwomen. Twenty-three minutes into the search, Batman fell unconscious.

He felt a light slap. "That's right, Batman," said Batgirl. "Open those eyes." Batman did so in horror; he saw that he, Batgirl, and Robin had been relieved of their belts and were sinking into quicksand. Batman was already down to his knees in it.

"They knocked you out somehow," said Robin. "We tried to get you away. Only got ourselves surrounded trying."

"Tranquilizer, gas, or a hard hit?" Batman asked how he had been taken out.

"Query shot you," said The Riddler, standing on dry land. "But I'm glad to see your mask protected you. After all the fluke humiliations you've dealt me, I sure as Hell don't want you to die without grappling with the reality that I was always the better man. It's a long way down for you to be ashamed of yourself!"

"I don't think there's a sorer loser than you," said Robin.

"They're right, Eddie," said a snarky Echo, causing a silent Riddler growl.

"I'll bet you flying animals could get out of there with those," taunted Query, pointing to the belts that lay just past the quicksand. She, The Riddler, and Echo all laughed.

"What's your point?" muttered Batgirl.

"A better one than you'd think," whispered Batman. "Take off your capes and give them to me. And believe that we're not finished."

The young heroes did as they were told. Batman tied the ends of their capes together, took off his own cape, tied it to the end of Batgirl's, and tied some knots in them all to extend their length.

"Oh no, you don't," shouted The Riddler, jumping in front of the belts, and pointing a finger boastfully at Batman. "You're not getting them back. You're dead!"

"You first," said Batman as he swung the capes at Riddler to bind his outstretched arm and drag him into the quicksand.

With a flick of his wrist, Batman unbound the capes from a now-sinking Riddler's arm. Query and Echo seized Riddler by the green jacket and pulled him to safety. "No," shouted Riddler, "Get the belts away from him!"

But it was to late. Batman had lashed the capes at his belt and around it. Soon enough, he had his Batgrapple and fired it at a large tree branch.

The Riddler was saved, but instead of thanking Query and Echo, The Prince of Puzzles shouted, "Shoot them!"

Batman shouted, "Grab on," Batgirl and Robin each held an arm. Just before Batman would have been shot in the exposed lower face, he retracted the Batgrapple to pull himself and his friends to safety. They jumped off and rolled to soften the impact of the fall, then turned to face their enemies.

Panicked, The Riddler, Query, and Echo backed away, and ended up falling into the quicksand.

"What do we do?" asked a frightened Query and Echo. The Riddler said nothing.

"How the question mark has turned," grinned Robin.

"Sorry," said Batgirl. "I can forgive a lot from a man, but I draw the line at trying to kill me."

"Batman," pleaded The Riddler, "You wouldn't let us go all the way down, would you?"

"Don't think I didn't think about it," said Batman, firing his Batgrapple in between Riddler and Query's faces. They held on and were retracted to safety.

Lieutenant Marc Freeman's perspective:

"I realize that the slime trap of The Riddler's caused car accidents that killed three good men," conceded Freeman as he followed Commissioner Studge to his office, "But how the Hell can the police position be to blame The Batman and not the people who actually did that?"

"Because," explained Studge, "He created The Riddler."

"Didn't he turn to crime because of his ego problem and inability to exist with his co-workers?" asked Freeman.

"What about all the other super criminals who've showed up since Batman made his presence known?" argued Studge. "No coincidence. But since you're determined to be his biggest apologist on the force, why don't you bet your badge that he'll catch The Riddler by the end of the week?"

"You're on," said Freeman, bravely. Studge was chuckling.

But when Studge opened his office door, he and Freeman could see an unconscious Riddler, Query, and Echo.

"I gave him too little credit," realized Freeman.

"Get out," said Studge.

"If I didn't know better, I'd say you weren't very happy that we've got 'em."

"Out."

There's just no pleasing some people.

Bruce's perspective:

Alfred had finished patching up Bruce's head wound. "That should take care of your latest injury, Master Bruce," said Alfred.

"Latest?" Bruce told a rare joke. "You mean this happens often?"

Tim laughed. "And I thought you had no sense of humor."

"And of all the times for it to come out," said Barbara.

Barbara was right. This was a dangerous and upsetting time. Heroes of Gotham now hunted by the police force of the very city they protected.

"I don't suppose I could ask you to take some time off?" Alfred asked his employer.

"That was not so funny," said Bruce.