A/N: The chapters are going to be getting longer to move the story along faster.


Sam POV

Walking in my heart feel like it was rattling in my chest, I was almost scared to go into view in fear that he wasn't awake. I hear the nurses voice asking if he needs anything to be more comfortable, and hear him reply "I'm fine" my heart leapt to my throat as my eyes swelled with tears at their edge. He's awake, I slowly walk into view peering in slowly, the nurse walking towards me giving me a reassuring smile seeing me on the brink of tears. As soon as I saw him "Josh?" as soon as his eyes found mine he asked worried "Why are you crying?". I walk over to him wiping my face, "how are you feeling?" Ignoring his question, "fine now" his gaze fell, I take a deep breath through my nose, trying to get my emotions under control. I turn around and see two cups with a pitcher of ice water and pour us some water, turning to hand him one. He downed his gratefully, wiping the side of his mouth saying "Pass me the jello behind you" I turn seeing a small red jello cup with a spoon and grabbed them and handed them to him. He happily opened the container and started to eat it, I took out my phone briefly and decided to text Chris.

Sam: Josh is up, come after your nap, the Dr. doesn't want to smother him with visitors just yet.

Chris: That's fine, tell him don't go back to sleep!

Sam: Not on my watch

I become distracted from my phone when I hear him say, "Why does this Jello taste so good" with childlike enthusiasm while he licked the last glob on the spoon. I couldn't help but giggle, he looks at me for a moment dropping his gaze. "…What happened?" I shrug "depends… what's the last thing you remember?" he starts thinking intently no doubt retracing his footsteps. He smirks patting the bed next to him moving his IV wire out the way to make room. I look at him curiously crawling in laying on my side since there isn't much space, surprisingly we fit comfortably. He put his cup and spoon on the table next him, turning on his side pulling me closer; we were only a breath apart. He looked at my face examining it tracing my tear stains with his thumb, "even like this…your still beautiful" I roll my eyes smiling, he smirked "I remember us talking about, us. Walking back from our swim". I feel my heart swell, I've been so worried about him waking up I hadn't thought about us. Hannah comes to mind and I feel my stomach do flips. He continues rubbing my cheek slowly going down my neck, while his free hand lay on a bit of exposed flesh on my hip. "Josh, you just went through a lot, and everything is happening so fast-" I feel all the anxiety that I've felt since he passed out lift off my shoulders, as his lips touched mine cutting off my words. I moved my lips with his slowly, letting him lead while I melted under his touch. My hands threaded through his hair, while he held me in place holding the base of my neck. I feel his tongue graze my lip, I open, our tongues clash, more emotion spilling into the kiss. I'm not going anywhere, I'm right where I want to be. I can feel our breath getting ragged, he releases me letting us up for air. Both out of breath he just leans our foreheads together pulling me closer. I smile still breathless, "you were saying?" he says with smirk, I lean in pressing my lips to his again briefly then lick my lips "The Jello does taste good" I say teasingly, I hear his stomach growl he looks down and rubs the back of his head with a sheepish smile, "Yet it wasn't enough" as soon as I opened my mouth to say something, we heard a quick knock on the door and heard it open. We both sat up, trying not look like we were just making out. Before breaking through the curtain, I got out of the bed. Emerging from the curtain were two doctors, not the same ones from earlier. I see Josh's face change almost in a mixture of anger and fear. The one in the white coat said "Good Morning Joshua how are you feeling?" he replies with a shrug, "My name is Dr. Adams your attending physician and you already know Dr. Hill." He crosses his arms and snorts, I've never seen him act like this, I look over at them and Dr. Adams turns to me and back at Josh "Who is this you have visiting you?" he lowers his arm to his lap and says looking at me, "This is my… girlfriend… Sam" almost sounding like a question. My eyes grew wide while I tried to smother the flutters in my chest, while I shook their hands saying pleasantries. Suddenly feeling awkward, I turned to Josh "I'm going to grab us something to eat, I'll be back". Then walked out the room, once it was closed, I leaned against the door. Girlfriend?


Josh POV

I felt like I was on top of the world having Sam in my arms, even considering the situation at hand. Looking at her tear stained face knowing I was the cause of her pain, I just had to make it up to her. We kissed till we couldn't anymore, looking in her eyes; I can see all the reasons why I like her. She's been by my side throughout the ordeal with my sisters and now this, she doesn't have to care about me…yet she does. I'm upset when a couple of Doctors interrupts us, especially one that I've purposely avoided.

"Who is this you have visiting you?" I lower the arms that I had raised defensively, looking over at her. My heart in my throat I reply "This is my…" she did say she likes me more than a best friend. "girlfriend…Sam" I continue looking at her waiting for her reaction, I saw the faint shock in her eyes and her cheeks blush. She holds her composure and shakes their hands, and looks over at me saying she's going to grab some food then left. Once she was out Dr. Adams spoke up first "Joshua I want you to know that we all just want to help you. Your parents have asked that we call in Dr. Hill so you can discuss with him any of your concerns, since your already familiar with him." He walks over to the recliner in the corner of the room, crossing his legs placing his notepad on his lap. Dr. Adams said "So I'll leave you two to discuss what you need to, after speaking with Dr. Hill I will start preparing your discharge paperwork" before leaving the room.

Dr. Hill opened his leather-bound notepad saying "It has been quite some time since you've paid me a visit." I scoffed "I'm sure you got paid" rolling my eyes, "Joshua I don't want you to think because your parents pay me well, that I don't care. I want to see you well, I want you to be happy. That has always been my goal." I cross my arms leaning back in the bed, waiting for the onslaught of questions. He puts his glasses on "we will do our usual segment to start us back somewhat of where we left off, and branch off once we find a starting point." I look up at the ceiling placing my hands behind my head "shoot", I know there's no getting out of this, so I might as well cooperate.

He clears his throat and says "In the past two weeks, how often have you felt down, depressed, or hopeless?" I think for a moment remembering the nights in my room where I felt lower than dirt, but then there was the night Chris and Sam came over and then camping… "Last week I was a wreck but this week I would say is going better…well besides being here" he writes down a paraphrase of my answer, then proceeds "What was the difference between the first week and the second?" he says without glancing up at me, "So far this week I was with my friends." He nods his head approvingly, "Have you recently had any thoughts of suicide?" I shake my head "not too recently" he looks at me under his glasses "how recent is, not too recent?" I sigh "like 2 weeks ago," he jots it down, "How well are you sleeping?" I feel a shiver go down my spine thinking of my nightmares… "fine" he put his pen down no longer taking notes, takes off his glasses rubbing his eyes, "Joshua" he said trying not to be annoyed. "They started again" I say lifting my arm to cover my eyes. "For how long?" he asks, I reply "They never stopped" he shifts and puts his glasses back on balancing it near the tip of his nose "How many hours of sleep have you been getting lately?" I pretend to count my fingers and he eyes me. "I probably get about 5 hours, split up throughout the day; and that's on a good day" while jotting his notes he asks "How has your energy level been?" I think back to the past couple of days "Well I actually left the house… and hung out with my friends, so I would say better than usual" He stopped writing taking off his glasses "Did you enjoy yourself?" I look down blushing thinking about Sam "I did" he looks at me smirking "I see you and Sam have gotten to know each other well." I nod my head, he asks me almost as if in a whisper "does she know?" I close my eyes and shake my head no, "not yet" I say before he even asks the question. "If she is your girlfriend she has a right to know" I look down, "If she truly has feelings for you she will stay by your side. Does being around her help?" there was a long pause, I had to think, does she? Since I took a long time thinking he responds "I'll take that as the jury is still out for that" I shrug nodding my head. "Have you been taking your medication?" I look at him with a really face, but he sits patiently waiting for a verbal answer "I wasn't until recently" I elaborated "the past couple days I started back up again" he put his glasses back on and writes it down, then closed his notebook. Looking at me taking off his glasses putting them in his shirt pocket, "It seems as though your body went into shock when you suddenly started your medication back up, since you were off it for a significant amount of time prior." He stands up walking over to my side. "Your parents have set up a car service that will pick you up and drop you off to my office. So, we can talk, and administer your medication via shot. They gave you one while you were out, it takes a couple of them before they fully take effect." I look at him and glare "I can drive myself" he turns and grabs his notebook "I'm just delivering the message." He flashes one of his business cards and writes something on the back, he turns back to me pointing at the card left on the table. "If you ever need me sooner, call me on my cell, we can make an appointment or just talk about how your feeling over the phone." I nod and he turns leaving out the door, I look over at his card and feel my chest get tight slightly. I'm trying to suppress this urge that's trying to boil up to the surface. I take slow deep breaths chanting to myself that I'm in control. Eventually the feeling subsides, and I hear the door open and Sam emerge from the curtain with something that smells delicious.

I hadn't realized how hungry I was until I already almost done, Sam lay quietly by my side on her phone, letting me enjoy my food. Once I was done I chugged the juice she bought; it was so cold going down, which made me feel alive again. She looked at me from the corner of her eye, I saw her smile then she said "Feel better?". I just nodded my head looking at her, the tear stains are practically gone and she seems to be doing better, knowing I am. Looking at her, the words seem to be on the tip of my tongue, I want to tell her… he doesn't. The less people that know the better, especially if it could push the one person who I want around, away.

She pulls me out of my thoughts, "Josh?" I respond "hmm?" she starts to blush slightly but doesn't turn away from me, "about what you said before?" I knew this was coming. "what do you consider… this?" I say pointing between us. She didn't say anything right away "I mean unless you have sex with all your friends, which of course can make things even more fun" she punches me in my arm "of course I could be mistaken" she glares daggers at me, then softens her face "As much as I want this, I want to make sure this isn't the wrong time for it" her cheeks tinted pink. My heart sank slightly, she's right. "So…do we just go back to being friends and pretend what happened in the tent, didn't?" she blushed "About

I pull her close to me, she's always so far, "Being with you makes me feel better" She looked up at me "really?" I nodded, she just leaned into my chest hiding her blush, I hear her say "one day at a time remember?" I held her closer, we laid there for a while in a comfortable silence. I buried my nose in her hair and inhaled her scent, I had one arm wrapped around her and the other went under her shirt gently rubbing the small of her back. I feel her faintly jump at the touch, but then leaning into it arching her back slightly. I hear her moan, not a sexual moan, but a relaxing one. I continued along all the crevices of her back painting across it with my fingertips; brushing around her bra. She laid in my arms for quite some time before I heard her faintly snoring in my chest, I couldn't help but smile. Unfortunately, being asleep for a full almost 24 hours, makes it hard to nap, plus I can sit here and stare at her all day.

I feel so lucky to have her around to help me cope, "that is… until she finds out…" I try to push the thought out my head even though I know who's pushing it to the forefront. I grind my teeth, and chant in my mind, I'm in control. I hear his laughter faintly in the back of my mind; sending chills down my spine. Go away! I scream in my mind, visibly closing my eyes. That was a bad choice, I can see him in my mind looking at me menacingly. "Joshua don't forget what you must do, don't let this bitch distract you" I feel myself fill with rage, don't talk about her. I shake my head trying to push him back, "What would Hannah think of you dating her best friend?" I feel her arm wrap around me squeezing, I squeeze her gently in return, without opening my eyes. I can hear her in my head "Don't even think about it Josh" thinking of the times she caught me staring at Sam, I sigh, things are different now, Sam feels the same, Hannah would understand... "would she? or would she hate you for moving on? forgetting about her so quickly" I cringe, I would never, I could never forget… "Josh?" I hear Hannah's voice say I turn and see her seated in the chair where Dr. Hill was earlier; she's holding her face in her hands crying "Everyone forgot about me." She wines, I shake my head, I would never… she looks at me and my heart drops, it looks like her, my Hannah. My heart leapt in my throat, all I want to do is give her a hug and let her know I'm here for her. I look down at Sam's peaceful face and she laid unmoving, I glance back at the chair and see it is vacant. Hannah is standing by the bed now, she reaches and cups my cheek while I lean into her hand, feeling a slight warmth. I whisper her name "Hannah…" I close my eyes and I can hear her voice continue in my head "come back to me" I look at her confused, but now I'm aware of the tears streaming down the side of my face. I start to see visions of us the night at the lodge, all having fun drinking; what does this mean? Why is she showing me this? Her voice echoed in my head "Back to the lodge" my heart drops, I can't. I can feel her hand move from my cheek to my throat, my eyes shoot open and see him squeezing my throat; hearing him snarl in my head "you will".

I spaced out for a long time just thinking of all these ideas, I can feel this rage burning at the pit of my stomach, aching. It felt like a couple of hours before I was snapped out of my thoughts, when I heard the door open. I turn my body slightly, careful not to wake Sam. To look toward the curtain and see who the guest of the hour is now, and see Chris and Mike walk in. Mike opened his mouth but then snapped it shut upon seeing Sam and they immediately start grinning, Chris walks over and whispers "Aww love birds" he says throwing up a heart sign in his hands. Mike is making kisses faces behind him snickering, which made them bust out laughing. I look down and her brows are furrowed, being startled by the disturbance. Chris holds up a piece of paper and whispers "discharge" I nod my head, Mike holds up a bag "I got you something to change into, may be kind of big on you, but better than the dirty clothes from yesterday." I slide my arm from underneath her, the guys are watching holding their breath, or maybe I was since I'm trying not to wake her. Mission Successful.

Mike tosses me the bag while I head in the bathroom, I jump in the shower and change cursing him. The pants hung a low on my waist, which was to be expected since I have a skinnier frame than him. The shirt on the other hand, he knew exactly what he was doing. I glare looking at my reflection I'm in a black shirt with an astronaut riding a unicorn through a giant rainbow circle. I shake my head smiling even though I'm annoyed, it's Mike, so I just brush it off rolling my eyes. I walk out and they snicker to each other while I make a ha-ha face, I look over and notice Sam's awake sitting up in the bed. She looks at me and starts trying to hold her laugh but fails in doing so, "Sexy" she says with a fake seductive voice. Chris tosses me my keys, "thanks man" Mike interrupts clearing his throat "I drove your car back here while Jess had to drive mine" he points at me menacingly "you owe me" I smile at him "I owe all you guys…for everything" suddenly feeling sentimental I hold up the keys "Thanks." Chris walks over to me handing me the paperwork, and puts his hand on my shoulder and gave me a gentle squeeze, and says "I'm a phone call or text away if you need me" I nod my head "Thanks" he heads to the door with Mike behind him "You can keep the shirt Josh, looks fabulous" while waving his farewell. I turn to Sam and smile saying "Are you coming over?"


Sam POV

We drove in a comfortable silence on the way to his house, once inside I see him drop his keys in the bowl, kicking off his shoes to the side, heading upstairs. I walk into the kitchen grab a glass fill it with water from the fridge, while he no doubt went upstairs to change into something less colorful. Putting the water back in the fridge something caught my eye, a picture of Hannah and Beth, my heart drops. I can hear Hannah's voice in my head saying how she dreamy Mike is, I smile back at the thought. Realizing without Hannah I don't have my best friend to do girl talks with, about the guys we have crushes on or are dating… I told her how I felt about Josh once, she said it wouldn't work out. But I never let it deter me, I would always try to do something that would bring us closer to him and his friends, just to be near him. Helping with his videos, and even being the victim of their pranks. Hannah knew that though, but she started getting a crush on Mike so she didn't mind since it brought her closer to him.

I didn't realize I was crying, I must've been so deep in thought, until I felt his arms wrap around me. He didn't say anything at first, until he knew I was done crying. He let go and I was immediately disappointed, he spoke up his voice breaking slightly from the pain, "It's been months…" he turns facing the front door, I see his eye twitch trying to keep the tears from falling he inhaled deep as they fell "I stare at the door all day from the top of the stairs, hoping one day they'll…walk through" he looks at me as more tears fell. "There's so much I wish I could change about that night" I took a step forward while he took one back, I stopped. He turned leaning his hands on the island in the middle of the kitchen, "I wouldn't have drunk so much…" he said voice cracking, I spoke up "I wish I would've gotten to her first…" the will to hold back my tears were non-existent as they slid down my cheek. He turned to me raising his voice "I should've been there for them!" I look back at the photo, "It's not your fault Josh, we all had a hand in what happened, and all wish we could do something differently." I touch Hannah's face in the photo, while he wipes his cheeks of his tears. I turn to him and ask "do you think she would care…about us?" he looks at the ground shrugging his shoulders immediately looking hurt by the question. I notice the different shirt, he changed, I see his gaze turn back to the picture, I can see he's hurting and see him visibly gulp and started walking out the room, I can hear his footsteps fade upstairs on the way to his room., I think I upset him.


Walking in his room; the lights are off and I can faintly see his figure laying on his bed covering his eyes with his arm. "Josh?" he peeks but covers his eye back up, I walk over and stand next to his bed. All the times I've been in here, I've never been in here with the lights off and…on his bed. I sit next to him on his bed, he sighed breaking the silence saying "I was thinking back in the hospital about …what would Hannah think." I lie down beside him, he lifts his arm off his eyes and looks over at me, "So do we act like the camping trip never happened?" I feel my chest tighten "I can't forget" I admitted. Even in the darkness I can see his smile, "me either" so I shrug "Then I'll give you some time to think…" he didn't say anything right away, just nodded sadly. He leaned up on his elbow to face me, my heart is in my throat I want him, but I want him when, he's ready. I turn my body to face him slightly so we're facing each other. He looks at me and although he's smiling I see tears welling up in his eyes, "Josh-" I whisper his name wiping one tears trail down his cheek, when suddenly I'm cut off by his lips. I can feel him trembling, he slides his hand on my back; my breasts pressed against his chest and I can feel my nipples rubbing against him through our clothes. I moan into his mouth, he slides his tongue in once I did. He drops his mouth to my neck sucking gently against a piece of skin and nibbling it between his teeth. His free hand slides up my shirt squeezing my breast gently in his palm, I can feel my desire rising. He releases my neck and moves up to my ear "one more time?" his voice sent chills down my spine, he leaned up looking at me for a response. All I could do was nod, suddenly feeling tingles all over, I tug at my shirt and pull it off, while he did the same. Once his shirt and pants were off, I said "lay down" he looks at me questioningly but complies.

He lays his head on his pillow folding his hands behind his head, I stand up and rid myself of my shoes and pants. He nods his head approvingly once I'm in my lingerie, he bit his lip as I climbed on top of him. I lean down and kiss him for a while distracting him with my tongue. I unsnapped the front of my bra and shrug it off without breaking our lip contact, letting my breasts bounce freely. I lean back and his eyes grew wide and I can hear him groan loudly, his hands rubbing my thighs. I can feel him raise his hips grinding his erection into me, I can feel the heat between the thin fabric of my panties. The more he did the further my lips spread, breast bouncing with each thrust and I would throw my head back and moan; I can't wait anymore. I reach down and release him from his boxers while he groans under my touch, grabbing the sheets under him. I raise up and move the thin fabric to the side enough to uncover my moist entrance. I lower myself until I feel his heat, I can hear him intake a sharp breath as he felt my entrance start to lower around his erection. He grips the sheets tighter "Fuck…you're so tight" I can feel him filling me, until I fully engulfed his throbbing erection. I can feel myself adjusting around him, I placed my hands on either side of him and started to lift my hips till I felt I was near the tip and drop back down engulfing him once more. I start to increase my speed once I adjusted my footing getting comfortable in a good rhythm, once I felt him hit the wall I immediately pull up, not wanting to push into it. But apparently, he had other plans, he grabbed me by my hips and slammed me down into him while he lifted his hips driving deeper into me. I throw my head back feeling him grind against my walls, I feel the urge to get him as deep as I can, I reach behind spreading myself driving him deeper as he slams into me. I feel his thrusts getting more frantic, I can hear our skin slapping with each thrust, mixing with his groans and my moans turned to screams of passion. I can feel my breast bouncing when suddenly he leans up and suckles on my nipple once he found a deep thrust he wants to grind into. I push myself forward, I can feel his hand find my clit and start rubbing it in circles. I can't hold on any longer as I feel myself shout his name, feeling my walls clenching around him as my orgasm was being released. I look at him when I feel it dripping down my thighs, and he groaned while mumbling a curse; I can feel his orgasm filling me while he buries his face in my chest; turning me on my side not pulling out. Almost like we've been snapped out of reality we hear a car door, but it was close. I look at him curiously, he slides out of me sliding closer to his window lifting a piece of the shade to see if anyone pulled in the side driveway; he turns to me eyes wide "Shit my mom's home!"