A/N: Sorry everyone my laptop died and I had to wait and get a new one, and I had to redo the chapter I had already started! :( So sorry for the delay! Thank you for hanging on, I hope you all enjoy it.

Chris POV

It seems like this coffee spot has been a safe haven through the holiday season, for us. Whenever life got hard we'd meet up grab a cup of Joe and talk to each other. Especially Sam she's had it hard, she told me about Josh's idea to go back to the lodge. I get it... If it'll help Josh deal with all his grief and help find closure, I'll be there with him. But Sam didn't feel the same way... She told him after Christmas that she couldn't do it. He didn't really react too well...

"Chris are you even listening?" Ashley says waving her hand in front of my face. I shake my head of the thoughts "Sorry I spaced for a second" she leaned in peering in my ears. "Yeah there is a lot of space in there" I turn to her and give her a dry laugh, and she giggled. "What were you thinking about?" She asks taking a sip of her coffee, I raise my brow at her "Now you want to know?" She places the cup on the table and turns to me "penny for your thoughts?" she was giving me those eyes, I can't resist. I sighed taking a deep breath "I was thinking about Sam..." Her gaze fell to her cup as she started fiddling with the cup holder wrapped around it. "I can't lie. I'm kind of with Sam on this, I can't imagine going back." I rub the back of my neck, "Yeah I know you and Sam are the only ones who need a little persuasion." She looks at me and looks away "I don't know how you say you would go back." I look at my cup and focus on it "I don't expect you to understand" she shook her head "That's exactly what is wrong with guys, you brush it off as we don't understand, instead of just asking. 'What can I do to change your mind, make you feel more comfortable. Jeez" she took a sip of her cup and placed it back on the table "I mean to be honest when we went to the lodge last year, we didn't expect to come back without two of our friends. What if we were to go back and we lose another..." I noticed her hand starting to shake on the table, as she bit her lip, most likely thinking of that night. I couldn't help myself, I placed my hand on her gently she stiffened at first obviously surprised but looked at me and then looked down averting my gaze. "It's okay Ash. Your right, if we go back we're definitely changing things up to make sure we're all safe." I moved my hand once she stopped trembling, don't want to overdo it and come off as creepy. "I think we should all at least think about it, Josh needs this and he can't do it alone." She pushed her lips out slightly pondering about what I said. She looked at me with a smirk on her face "When you put it like that, I guess it doesn't sound so bad."

As she lifted her coffee to her lips I see her eyes look above my head, then I heard a voice "What doesn't sound so bad" I hear Sam say from behind me. Ashley stands "I have to use the bathroom, coffee goes right through me" Sam giggles as she pulls out a chair and has a seat, "She was just saying how going back might not sound so bad" she immediately scoffed "traitor" I raise my brow "No coffee today?" She shakes her head no, "too much on my mind for caffeine." Speaking of which "Have you seen to Josh lately?" She shrugs her jacket off "I've called and texted, but it seems like he's chosen to give me the silent treatment" I cross my arms, "But you haven't went over there?" She looks at me confused "If he hasn't returned my texts or calls that obviously means he doesn't want to see me." She said defensively. I look at my coffee for a moment "I don't believe that." Ashley comes back to the table and says "Don't believe what?" Sam says slightly pouting yet holding her stubborn tone, "That Josh doesn't want to see me." Ashley says while taking her seat "Well duh. Of course he does." I look at Ashley "Finally someone else who sees it." Sam rolls her eyes and leans back in the chair crossing her arms, she must obviously feel like we're attacking her.

"Josh is only not responding because he's upset because he wants all of us there with him; but he needs you there, he loves you Sam." Ashley said to the now blushing Sam; but still sitting stubbornly crossing her arms, I gladly sipped my coffee letting Ashley do her girl talk thing. Anything I would've said, I would've came off as a dick. "I'm also pretty sure whether you decide to go or not, he's going; and that probably scares the shit out of him. But seeing you and talking to you is probably a reminder of how when its time, you won't be there. But that doesn't mean you shouldn't be trying because whether he likes it or not, he needs you still, he needs to see that theres something worth being here for." All I could do was nod, she took a deep breath "Guys, I get it, I don't want you to think that I didn't consider that, or know how he would react. I know what I said no to... But I think he just needs some space." Before I could stop myself I chimed in "Him or you?" She looked at me eyes wide then looked down, "Look Sam, we would never ask you to do something that makes you uncomfortable, But if I knew the person I love needed me, no matter what I'd be there." I shrugged sipping the last of my coffee then stood to put on my jacket. "Think about it, and even if your answer doesn't change, you don't have to lose each other along the way. We're all in this together whether we like it or not." I bowed to them and Sam looked away shrugging her shoulders, "On that note, I'm going to head out." Ashley looked at me and nodded, "See ya" as I threw out my empty cup and ventured into the cold.

There was still some snow left on the ground leftover from this morning, thankfully this time I got a parking spot outside the shop. I dig in my pocket for my keys as I'm walking up to the car I feel my phone vibrate. I push the button to unlock the door as I get inside closing the door, I take my phone out my pocket as I'm putting on my seatbelt and see a text from Josh.

Josh: Coming over?

Chris: Just left the shop, I'm heading out now.

Josh: Cool.

I walk inside Josh's house and noticed all the lights were off, all but one, I can see the faint glow from the stairs that he must be in his room. It was almost eery walking through the house this dark, almost like it was haunted. "Josh?" I call out walking up the stairs, no response, I turn once I reached the top of the stairs and head toward his room, "Josh?" I walk in his room and he's sitting at his desk riddled in papers everywhere. He has his head laying on the desk, like a mad scientist, a skinny one. He's not eating... He turns his head in my direction but still has his head laying on his arms. "Cochise." He says weakly, I walk over "Josh are you okay?" he leaned back in the chair "I'm good now that my broski's here." He says with a smile, "Josh I want you to be okay when I'm not here too." He rolls his eyes as he stands "Well I'm not, theres no hiding it." He says throwing his arms out exasperated, I put my hands up defensively. "Just tell me whats wrong Josh." He throws himself on his bed and grabs his pillow, while I take the chair he vacated near his desk. "For real Josh talk to me." He rolls over covering his eyes with his arm, "I'm fine" I respond "you said it yourself why hide it." He takes a deep breath moving his arm so he can look at the ceiling, "I feel like after I sent the invite to everyone, things changed." He covers his face with his arm

"Are we talking about everyone or Sam?" He stood silent, "Well I was just with her and Ash..." I cross my arms "If you really want her to go, acting like this isn't the way to go about it. Ask her what can you do to change her mind, to make her feel more comfortable, would be a better route . So I'm told." He covers his eyes again and stays silent, "Josh, just because she doesn't want to go back. Doesn't mean her feelings for you have changed, and if yours did because she said no; then you didn't really love her." He sat up "I do love her I would do anything for her! She obviously doesn't feel the same..." I lean forward in the chair "Josh that's not-" "true" we turned when we heard a voice at the door. Josh sat up eyes wide, then immediately his scowls "How are you just going to barge in here?" She walks further in the room, "Well if you would freaking look at your phone, I've texted and called, which you ignored! I obviously didn't need an invitation since you left the door unlocked." Josh glared at me "Yeah I should've locked it before coming up, that was my bad" I say raising my hand and standing. I look back at Josh "I'm going to head out and let you and Sam... talk." I nod at Sam on my way out and go in my pocket and realize Ashley text me.

Ashley: Sam's on her way to Josh's.

Chris: Just got the message, yeah she walked in when me and Josh were talking.

Ashley: Is that good or bad?

Chris: We'll have to wait and see.

I open the front door and twist the bottom lock to make sure it locks behind me when I shut the door. I head into my car, and pray they don't kill each other.

Sam POV

As I head up the stairs I heard voices, when I reached the door I noticed it was cracked open, I place my hand on the door then froze. I heard Chris' voice saying "Josh, just because she doesn't want to go back. Doesn't mean her feelings for you have changed, and if yours did because she said no; then you didn't really love her." Are they talking about me? "I do love her I would do anything for her! She obviously doesn't feel the same..." What? My heart sank when those words left Josh's mouth. I hear Chris start "Josh that's not-" I couldn't let this continue my heart was beating out of my chest; as the word left my mouth opening the door "true" they turned and stared at the door. Josh had eyes wide, then immediately his scowls "How are you just going to barge in here?" I take a few steps in the room, "Well if you would freaking look at your phone, I've texted and called, which you ignored! I obviously didn't need an invitation since you left the door unlocked." Josh glared at Chris "Yeah I should've locked it before coming up, that was my bad" He says jokingly before leaving for us to talk.

Josh crossed his arms and sat on his bed looking out toward the window annoyed by my presence, I took a deep breath trying to slow my heart. Looking at him, I can tell he's not taking care of himself, but at the same time, I've allowed this for too long. "Josh I came here to tell you I'm sorry... I can't..." I can feel myself start to get emotional, but composed myself. "I'm sorry for allowing you to push me away when you needed me." He snorted "Don't think so highly of yourself." My stomach turned and my heart dropped slightly. He doesn't mean it, Sam he's just upset. "I actually like being alone, thank you very much." I took a step forward and he pulled his feet in closer to himself, "No one likes to be alone..." He crosses his arms over his legs and leans his forehead on his knees and says "Just leave me alone, Sam." I take another step forward "you don't mean that." he lifts his head up nodding "I actually do." I told myself when I came I wouldn't do this, but I can feel myself on the brink of tears. I look up trying to stop the tears from falling but turn my back to him so he won't see. I start to speak, but hear my voice starting to break "I can't go back... I'm sorry." I wiped the tears that slid down my face despite my efforts to avoid this. I walk out the door, and start to heard down the stairs, wiping my tears with my sleeves. I open the front door and look up the stairs at the dim glow coming from his room, I turned and closed the door behind me and started to head outside. I dip my hands in my pockets and start to walk forward, as I can feel the tear stains start to cool over my cheeks. As my foot touched the sidewalk, the front door swung open "Sam!" I turn around and see him standing at the doorway shaking, I turned trying to wipe away the tears, "Come back inside" I crossed my arms raising my brow at him "So I can get yelled at? No thanks." He rolled his eyes and said "So we can talk..." I paused for a moment looking further down the road, contemplating what to do.

I can see my huff of breath as smoke in the air as I begrudgingly walk back toward the house. I walked inside as he closed the door behind me, I didn't take my jacket off, I stood there with my arms crossed; refusing to look in his eyes. "Look at me Sam..." He says and I comply and my heart sinks, "Sam...I'm sorry." I uncross my arms "Josh I-" he raises his hand "Please let me." I nod signaling for him to continue. "I'm sorry, if you don't want to go to the lodge, you don't have to... I guess I already had a plan in my head of how I wanted everything to go; and without you there for me it wouldn't be complete..." He took a step forward "I know I can't change the way you feel, but I guess I just want you to understand how I feel." I nod not wanting to interrupt him, he looked down clenching his fists "Since it's been almost a year that they've been gone, it's been sinking in that they may be dead." My heart sank and I immediately felt a lump in my throat saying "They can't-" but stopped once I felt myself get emotional. He continued "Going back is my closure... of knowing that being there one more time is the closest I will get to my sisters again." I wanted to reach out to him and comfort him, but I know that wouldn't help him. If I comfort him now it will be harder for him when he goes and I'm not there. "I'm sorry" it's all I could say, changing my answer was not an option. "Don't apologize, I was being a dick because you have been with me throughout it all, I just thought..." I don't know what came over me, I went over to him and gave him a hug, I couldn't help it.

I wrap my arms around him as I feel his wrap around me squeezing gently, I can feel him shaking still. What am I doing? "Josh... I'll go ... for you." He pulled away slightly but still held his arms around me, "Sam you don't have to-" I raised my hand silencing him. I leaned back I looked up at him and said "I want to..." I pulled him back in for a hug and I can hear him say "Thank you" while kissing the top of my head. Although I know what I'm doing is right, somewhere deep inside me felt like this was a bad idea...