A/N:
Thank you for the reviews on my story. They mean a lot and help me as well. I hope you enjoy this chapter. It is a little longer than normal
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Chapter 12 The Call
Blaine was sitting in the plane on the runway just waiting for it to take off, he was ready to get his girl. He had missed her. Blaine knows that she has only been part of his life for four months, but he feels like he has always had her. He pulls out his phone when he gets a text alert. Looking down at it, he realizes it is an alert from YouTube, letting him know that Kurt had posted an update to his channel.
When he had first been sent the link on what would have been their 4th anniversary, at first, he had watched it, cried, and then got upset. After everything settled down, and he was spending more and more time alone in his apartment with just the baby, he had gotten to where he pulled up Kurt's page a lot. Watching every video available, he had even gone so far as to register under a different email account, so Kurt wouldn't know he was a follower.
He had been watching Kurt's channel off and on since the first video posted. It was Blaine's way of staying connected to the person who had always been his best friend, and no matter what had been said or done, he always would be.
He watched the newest video Kurt had uploaded, listening to the words he said, that meant so much to Blaine. He then smiled Kurt's smile when he watched him walk into the living room and sit down at the piano he had bought for him. Blaine had wanted to say thank you for letting him and Sam stay with him at the apartment when they came to visit colleges his senior year.
They hadn't been back together long, and Blaine had been trying not to push things, but during that visit, things had seemed to fall back into place, things seemed perfect between them again. Blaine really misses the times they had spent around that piano singing, just being Kurt and Blaine. He had wondered what had happened to it after the break-up. Blaine always figured Kurt would have gotten rid of it. It was nice to see that he had kept some things from the past they had shared together.
When the video ended, and before the pilot asked for cellphones to be put in airplane mode, Blaine dialed a number that had been burnt into his memory since his sophomore year. The year his whole life changed.
"Hello," Blaine heard that sweet voice he had so been dying to hear, and couldn't stop the small smile that crossed his face.
"Kurt, its Blaine, can we talk?" he said softly, not really knowing what to expect. Would Kurt be willing to talk to him, or would he push him away? He was hopeful but didn't want to take anything for granted anymore.
"Yes, I would love that," he heard Kurt say and couldn't help but smile a little bigger.
"Ok, I'm on my way to Westerville. I need to talk to Dad about a few things going on, and I need to pick up my daughter. Will you be home tomorrow? I know it is Friday, and you normally have to work…."
"No, I'll be here, come by whenever you want," Kurt said, jumping up while still talking to Blaine and started cleaning up the apartment, not that it was dirty, but if Blaine was going to be there possibly with the baby he wanted to clean things up. He also decided he needed to go to the store to pick up a few things.
"Ok, will 10 in the morning be ok, maybe we can get some coffee and talk?" Blaine asked a little hesitantly. He had a lot he wanted to talk to Kurt about, a lot he wanted to work out with him. After everything that had happened, Blaine knew in his heart he couldn't continue to live in a world that didn't include his Kurt in one way or the other. If he had learned anything in the last week, it was that he had to hold the people he loved close to him. And Kurt was the one person beside Sere that he loved the most.
"That will be perfect. I'll see you then," Kurt said with a big smile on his face. He had missed Blaine so much since the last time he had seen him. He missed his friend and hoped they could work on getting at least that back again, even though he still wanted more, he wanted his Blaine back.
"Ok, I'll see you then. Kurt, thanks for the video, by the way, that meant a lot. I'll see you tomorrow, and Kurt… I love you," Blaine said right before he disconnected the call and then put his phone back in his pocket as the pilot announces they were set for takeoff.
Blaine silently lays his head back on the headrest with a soft sigh, closing his eyes, still in shock over everything he had read in Bryce's journal, and wondering if this was going to have more of an impact on his life than he ever thought possible.
When the plane landed in Westerville, Blaine pulled his carry-on bag down, slung the strap over his shoulder, and walked towards the door. Since he was in first class this time, he was one of the first people to disembark from the plane. He slowly made his way to the airport doors, just ready to get out of there. Blaine kept his head down the whole time he walked, trying not to draw attention to himself. He might as well have not even tried. As he walked through the security area, he started seeing cameras flashing and paparazzi in his face asking questions.
He just kept saying no comment keeping his head down and not looking at anyone. He finally made it out the door to a cab and was soon on his way home. When he pulled up in the driveway, his mom came walking out carrying Sere.
Blaine quickly paid the driver, grabbed his bag, and then ran up to his mom, pulling Sere to him. He just held her tight, nose snuggled into her sweet little neck, and then broke down. Luckily his dad had followed his mom out and managed to catch him before he slid down to the ground. Pam quickly grabbed the baby back, and Michael helped Blaine into the house and sat him down, watching as he cried, his whole body shaking. They could do nothing but stand there and watch their son fall apart, thinking he was crying because he had just lost Bryce, but Blaine was crying because he was afraid he was going to lose something so much more important. He was afraid he was going to lose Sere.
He looked at his dad, still crying. "I think I'm in trouble, dad. I think I am really in trouble," Blaine said, standing up, walking over to his mom and taking the baby back, needing to hold her.
"Son, what do you mean you think you might be in trouble?" Michael asked looking at Blaine with concern
"Have a seat. I have a lot I need to talk to you about, both of you." Blaine said before taking a deep breath and then looking at his parents, not believing he is going to have to tell them one of the most unbelievable stories he had ever had to tell them in his life.
"Blaine, what's going on? You're scaring me," his mom said, looking at him before they both sat down.
He continued to walk slowly, rocking the baby. "When I got to Morocco, they took me to identify and claim the body, which I expected, they had already told me I would be required to do that. I then went to the US embassy and worked with them to get Bryce's body home, once again nothing I wasn't expecting.
"When I left there, I was taken to the site where Bryce had been filming. The first thing that happened was their lawyer first apologized for my loss and then started passing me papers he wanted me to sign. He kept talking about waivers of liability."
"You didn't sign anything, did you son?" Michel looked at him appalled that another lawyer would pull something like that, trying to make Blaine sign something when his mind wouldn't have been clear.
"No, I think I made him a little mad because I told him to send anything that needs my signature to you to review. He finally had one of the production assistants take me to Bryce's trailer so that I could pack up any of his personal items. Bryce had this small duffel bag he always carried on set with him, so I figured I could just pack anything in there. When I opened it, I found this," Blaine said, walking over to where he had dropped his suitcase, opened it, and pulled out Bryce's journal.
"This is the journal Bryce always wrote in. I remember him having it and writing in it when we were still on the set of Always, and also when we were still in London while we were waiting to get Sere's passport. I thought that it would be something to put up and give to her when she was older, so she could read it and know a little bit about her papa."
"I read it, and it was really sweet in the beginning, talking about how we had first met, when his feelings for me had started changing, and when he realized he wanted to be with me. We had started having some problems before the accident, things that I don't want to discuss, but reading what he had written started making me feel better, feel better about him, how he felt about me and our relationship."
"His words started to take away some of the anger I had been feeling, after a few of our disagreements. That is until I got close to the end of his writing, and this is where I think I might be in trouble." He said looking at his dad
"He wrote, "I asked my dad if it was bigamy if I married Blaine since I was still technically married to Jennifer."
"What?" Michael yelled, standing up, and in the process scaring Sere, who had almost gone to sleep, she started crying. "Sorry, but what?" he said this time a little quieter.
"It would seem that when Bryce was 16 he was dating this girl Jennifer, she had apparently gotten pregnant, and their parents signed for them to get married. She ended up losing the baby, and they broke up. His dad had said that since I was a man and Jennifer was a girl, then that rule pretty much didn't apply. He could legally marry me".
"Apparently, Bryce never got the marriage annulled and never divorced her, which means my marriage to him was never legal. Dad, can they take Sere away from me?" Blaine asks staring at his dad hoping against hope he'd say no
"You adopted her legally, Blaine, Bryce signed giving his permission, and it went to court and was approved. I don't see how they could. Do they know that you know?" Michael asked, looking at Blaine in shock. He hadn't known Bryce long but had liked him, and he had thought he would be good for Blaine
"Yeah, they do. I sort of blew up at the Mitchells before coming here. I went to their house. Bryce had been sending them a check for $9000 a month since he turned 18 and took over his own finances. I pretty much told them that they would not be getting another penny, everything that Bryce had, had been willed to me and that I would be putting it in a trust for Sere and also told them they would never be seeing her again."
"Oh son, I wish you hadn't done that. I need to get with Bryce's lawyer and see how his will was written, and look over the adoption papers. When is the funeral? Michael asked
"I don't know and really don't care. I told them that I wasn't going to be there, they could do whatever they wanted to, I would pay for it, but everything else was up to them," Blaine said looking at his dad.
"We have to be there son, as a family. It will look bad if we aren't. Pam, if you don't mind, can you call Bryce's mom and see when the funeral is? Play it off, say something like Blaine had been in shock, and grieving so badly when he said what he did, and he didn't mean it, he had just been hurting at the time."
"We need to see how they are going to act. See if they plan on fighting for Sere or not, and maybe call Cooper and ask him to be there," Michael said, then looking at Blaine, "I'm assuming that he doesn't know anything about this yet correct?"
"No, I haven't told anyone but you, well, and Bryce's parents," Blaine said wishing he would have just not gone to see his parents, but Blaine had just been so mad that they had known that Bryce was still married and let their sham of a marriage happen, without at least trying to stop it.
"Ok, we'll go as a family, even Sere. That way, we can get a feel of the situation," Micheal said, watching Blaine as he walked back and forth, holding the baby close to him, seeing unmistakable tears rolling down his cheeks, his steps getting slower and slower. Micheal knows it has been a rough couple of days for Blaine, wishing he could do something to help him, to somehow make this better for him, hating watching his son hurt.
"Listen, son, why don't you and Sere go ahead and go to bed, you look like you are about to fall out any minute, and we can talk some more in the morning ok?" Michael said softly, wishing he knew what to say to ease Blaine's pain.
"Sounds good," Blaine said in a tired voice "Let me give Sere her bath and then put her to bed. I think I'll take you up on that," Blaine answered so softly, his parents knew he was physically and emotionally drained, and he looked like it wouldn't take much to knock him down.
"Why don't you let me give her a bath, and you go ahead and go lie down" his mom offered
"Thanks mom, but I just want to do it. I need to be with her right now. Goodnight," Blaine said, kissing Pam on the cheek so thankful for everything she had done, and then he slowly walked out of the room, grabbing his suitcase as he passed it, heading towards the stairs, missing the look that passed between his parents.
He took his time, giving Sere a warm bath, washing her little hair. He dressed her in his favorite pair of her pajamas. They were soft and looked to him like they would be really comfortable. When he walked out of the bathroom and into his bedroom, that's when he noticed the crib his parents had set up for her, and the rocking chair that had been placed in the corner. Blaine went over to it, sat down, and slowing started rocking her, singing to Sere as tears slowly slipped down his face.
Tears for the papa she would never be able to know, but glad in a way that she wouldn't because she would never have to know how Bryce had really felt about her. Tears for the relationship he had wasted time on, thinking he was building a future, only to find out there never could have been one, and tears for his past, for the boy he still loved those being the hardest tears of all.
When he sees that Sere is asleep, Blaine slowly stands up and walks over to the crib. He softly kisses her on her head before gently laying her in her crib. He stands there just staring at her, so afraid now that he was going to lose her, that somehow Bryce's family would be able to take her away from him.
He slowly makes his way over to his bed, pulls back the covers, and then crawls in between the sheets. Blaine reaches for the extra pillow and pulls it to his chest and buries his face in it, crying, hoping the pillow will muffle the sound so his parents wouldn't hear. He was more afraid than he had ever been in his life because this time, he had so much more to lose.
Sere woke him up at three crying. Blaine crawls out of bed and walks over to the crib and picks her up, he softly patted her back and walked with her to the kitchen. Before everything had happened with Bryce, she had gotten to where she was finally almost sleeping through the night. He warms her up a bottle, gently swinging her back and forth as he feeds her, just staring down at her sweet little face.
When she finishes her bottle, he carries her back to his room and changes her diaper. He picks her up off of the changing table and rocks her for a few more minutes until she falls back to sleep, and then carries her over to his bed, placing her in the middle, not wanting to be away from her, just wanting her close. He slowly drifts back to sleep with his hand lying gently on Sere's stomach, wanting to feel her if she moves.
She wakes him up again at four and then five, and he just gets up after that. He doesn't know what was wrong with her. She was dry, and it was too soon for another bottle, but when he picked her up and snuggled with her, she stopped crying and was fine. He guesses she feels his stress, and it's affecting her as well, and she just needed a little extra attention. Not that he minded that at all because he needed it too. He does give up on going back to sleep, though. He stands up and carries her into the living room with him, sitting down with her in one of the recliners. He softly starts singing the song he had written for her not long after the adoption was finalized, and she had officially become his daughter.
Staring down into the eyes he so loves, feeling his heart swell even more, he wonders how he had ever existed before this beautiful baby girl entered his world, and now Blaine also worries how he could ever exist if he lost her. He slowly leaned the chair back and just holds her lying on his chest, listening to her soft little breaths, and soon they are both drifting off to sleep again.
The next thing that woke him up was the smell of coffee and knows his mom is up. He slowly stands up, trying not to wake up Sere, and then he walks into the kitchen and sits down at the bar across from his mom. She stands up and grabs him a cup of coffee, fixing it the way he likes it, with a little cream and a dash of cinnamon. She had made it like that for him along time ago, and he had liked it so much he had continued to drink it that way.
"Where's dad?" Blaine whispers, trying not to wake Sere, who was still asleep on his shoulder. He wanted to let her sleep as long as possible since she had had a bad night.
"He's getting dressed and will be down in a minute, he's going to get with Bryce's lawyer this morning and make sure everything is in order," she said looking at him knowing just how worried he was.
"I can't lose her mom, I can't," Blaine said for the first time voicing his fears.
"You aren't going to lose her son," Michael said, coming in the door.
"With our marriage not being legal, they can say that I have no rights to her even though I adopted her," Blaine said looking at his dad "What if they say that because she is Bryce's biological child, and they are Bryce's parents they should get her? I know they don't want her for her. They will only want her because of the trust fund she inherited from her mom. Whoever is her guardian gets access to that money. I know she means nothing to them," Blaine continued, hating the fact that someone could want this special little girl for the money her mom left her.
Bryce's money was supposed to go to Blaine, per the will he had signed. Blaine honestly could care less about it, he didn't need the money, and it would just be put in a trust for Sere anyway. Still, his dad was going to look at the wording of the will, if it said just to Blaine Anderson, then it would pass to him, but if it said to his husband, Bryce's family could fight that, since legally he never was, their marriage had never been legal.
No matter how that part ended up, however, Shey's money would go straight to Sere. She wasn't even a year old yet, and she was already a trust fund baby.
"Son, don't forget that I have as much right to Sere as they do. I was Shey's father, I have just as much of a blood connection to her as they do, and I can't think of any better person than you to raise my granddaughter. If they want to fight this, then we will fight it in court. I just really hope it doesn't have to come that far," Michael said, walking over to Pam and kissing her on her cheek. He knows talking about Shey hurts her because it reminds her of the time they were broken up, and the fact that Michael had temporarily found someone new.
Blaine looked at his watch and saw that it was almost seven and stood up, taking his coffee cup over to the sink. "I'm going to go and talk to a friend of mine for a while this morning. I have some things I need to talk out. Dad, can you call me when you find out anything?" Blaine asked, knowing he wouldn't be able to stop worrying about this until everything was finally settled.
"Son, I will call you as soon as I find out anything I promise," Michael said, walking over to Blaine and hugging him.
"Do you want me to keep Sere for you?" Pam asked. She had really enjoyed watching that little girl while Blaine had been out of the country. She had always wanted a daughter, but after the break up with Michael, when Blaine was still young, she decided she didn't want to have anymore children, so, with Sere, Pam finally had a little girl, a precious granddaughter that she had fallen in love with the first time she had seen her.
"No, I think I want her with me, but thanks. If you don't mind, though, can you watch her for a few minutes while I take a shower? She's probably going to want a bottle soon. I fed her around three and changed her diaper. I'll dress her when I get out of the shower," Blaine said. He knew his mom wouldn't have a problem with it but wanted to ask anyway. He gently moved the sleeping little girl from his shoulder to his moms, placing a soft kiss on her little cheek, man how he loved that little girl.
Blaine walked into his bathroom and shaved before stepping in the shower. When he got out, he dried off and got dressed, taking care with how he looked. While his hair was still damp, Blaine added a little of the hair product he had been shown by the makeup artist when he had first started working on Always. Blaine wished he could have found it or something like it when he was still in school. He had always hated the heavy feeling of the gel he used but hated the way his hair would frizz without it more.
He had really liked his hair at one time. Before the kids at his old school Carson had made fun of it and him. From that day on, Blaine had slicked it down to control it that was, until he had gone with Kurt to his senior prom, and Brittany had banned hair gel of all things. Blaine He had felt self-conscious about his hair the minute he walked back into the room, seeing as everyone stared at him. That had been bad enough, but then Brittany had looked at him and said he looked like Mr. Broccoli head. Instead of Kurt making some kind of comment like he liked it like that, the way Blaine would have done if the situation was reversed, Kurt had just said that it didn't look THAT bad. Thinking back now, Blaine doesn't know which comment had hurt him the most, being told he looked like Mr. Broccoli head or for his boyfriend to say he didn't look that bad.
The only other time Blaine had tried to go without gel, was when he was subbing at Dalton, right after the last break up. He had been super depressed, and his therapist had told him to try to change things up, almost reinvent himself from the person he had been with Kurt. So he did, he didn't gel his hair, and didn't put on a bowtie. That had lasted one day. When he had walked into Dalton, the first thing he heard was one of the students yell terrorist. From that day on, he had worn hair gel until that incredible makeup artist on Always had given him the new stuff he now uses. He never did, however, put on another bowtie.
Blaine went over to the changing table his parents had set up for Sere and packed her several diapers and a few changes of clothes, he never really knew what she might need, so he generally packed more than necessary, but he would rather have too much than not enough.
He went back into the kitchen and grabbed a few bottles, and some formula added that to the diaper bag and was ready to go. Now he just needed to find his mom and daughter, he thought with a smile. He was so glad his parents had accepted Sere as theirs. It meant a lot to Blaine that they already loved her. Blaine looked up when his mom walked back into the kitchen.
"Ok, I changed her, feed her, and she should be good to go for a little while anyway," Pam said, kissing Sere on the cheek before walking up to Blaine and passing the baby to him. "I put her car seat and the stroller base in your car. I figured it would be easier to drive to the airport than trying to get a cab. I'll call you when I get ahold of Bryce's mom and let you know what I find out," Pam said before pulling Blaine and Sere into a hug. "I love you Blaine," she said, pulling away.
"I love you to mom, and thank you for everything," Blaine said, looking at her hugging her tight for a few minutes before walking out the door with Sere and strapping her into her car seat. Blaine got in and drove to the airport and got the next flight to New York, feeling more nervous the closer they got Blaine didn't really know why. Kurt had been his friend for over four years. He had never felt nervous around him, except for the time he had finally figured out how he felt about Kurt.
Blaine had known when he was watching Kurt sing Blackbird that he wanted him in his life. He remembers he had spent the whole day figuring out what he wanted to say, and just hoping Kurt hadn't changed his mind about how he felt. Blaine had been on edge all day, trying to find the perfect place and time. But when he had walked into the lunchroom at Dalton and saw Kurt sitting there, Blaine knew in his heart that nothing in his life could have ever been more perfect. He went in and sat down and was finally able to say how he felt, how important Kurt was to him. That had been the start of them. In that room, they had shared their very first kiss. That had been the last time Blaine had been nervous about being around Kurt, until now.
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When they land, Blaine grabs Sere, who was still in her car seat, her diaper bag, and the base of her stroller that the car seat snapped into and started walking down the ramp going from the plane to the airport itself. He slowly walked out of the security area and could breathe a little easier when he realized there was no paparazzi, they hadn't found out he was in New York yet, and he was glad, he really hated them being around the baby.
Blaine slips on a pair of dark sunglasses, missing the yellow and pink ones he used to wear when he was still in school and makes his way to the door leading out of the airport. Blaine was surprised when he was able to get a cab right away. He had expected to have a small wait. He gave the driver the address to Kurt's loft in Bushwick and then laid his head on the back of the seat, breathing deeply, trying to calm his nerves.
When they get to the apartment, he steps out of the cab, pays the driver and grabs Sere snapping the car seat into the stroller base, grabs her diaper bag and walks inside, it had been so long since he had been here, but nothing really looked like it had changed. Blaine walks over to the freight elevator and hits the button for the top floor where Kurt's apartment was. When he steps off the elevator, he turns left and walks towards Kurt's door, feeling even more nervous than before, why he doesn't know because this was just Kurt, his Kurt. He stands outside the door for a minute, feeling weird, knocking on the door of the apartment that he had once called home.
He looked at his watch. It was right at ten. Blaine slowly raises his hand and knocks on the door. Within minutes it was sliding open, and there he was, the person Blaine had lived for, for so long, the person who had been the center of his universe. The person he had dreamed so many dreams about, and without a doubt, the person he still loved.
With tears running down his face, he stepped forward and hugged his best friend for the first time in almost a year. "God, I have missed you," he whispers in Kurt's ear, pulling him even closer.
"I've missed you too," Kurt said softly, pulling back enough so he could look at Blaine "I missed you too" they just stood there staring at each other until Sere started fussing in her seat. Blaine pulls slowly away from Kurt, bends down and picks her up. Blaine gently placed her on his shoulder, patting her softly on the back, saying soothing words until she finally settled back down.
"I'm sorry, come in," Kurt said, standing back and letting Blaine walk in, pushing the stroller in front of him. They went over and sat down on the couch, turning so they could face each other. Blaine still couldn't believe that he was there, in front of Kurt again, close enough to touch for the first time in almost a year. Blaine takes a deep breath and just looks into Kurt's beautiful eyes, the eyes he had spent years happily staring into.
"Kurt, I would like you to meet my daughter, Serene," Blaine said, pulling the baby away from his shoulder, turning her around so that Kurt was able to see her for the first time.
Blaine watched as Kurt's mouth dropped open, looking at the baby. Watching as Kurt notice right away how very much she looked like Blaine. "I don't understand, " he whispered, looking from Blaine to the baby and back. There was no way that baby could be Blaine's, unless before they had broken up, Blaine had cheated on him again, and this time with a woman.
Blaine just sits there, watching as Kurt tried to figure out what he was seeing, watching as the thoughts rolled around in his head, and then Kurt was standing up and walking a little away. Blaine knew what he was thinking. As if he could have ever been with anyone other than Kurt. He had learned the hard way what cheating caused, it had lost him Kurt, and that was a mistake he would never have made again, never. If Kurt hadn't broken up with him, he would have never slept with anyone else again, Kurt had always been it for him.
"Please come back and sit down. I know what you're thinking. Please let me explain," Blaine said, looking at Kurt, watching his face, knowing he was struggling with his thoughts, and wanting to know the truth. Kurt finally walked back over and sat down, but this time he kept his distance. Not wanting to sit close to Blaine, but willing to at least listen and try to give Blaine the benefit of the doubt, until he was given a reason not to.
"I know what you're thinking, Kurt. Nothing could be further from the truth. Sere is my daughter, yes, but for all intents and purposes, she is actually my niece." Blaine started to explain further but was cut off.
"Ok, if Cooper had a kid, why isn't he the one raising her? And why is everyone saying she is Bryce's for?" Kurt asked, so confused.
"She is my niece, but not through Cooper, and she is Bryce's biological daughter," Blaine continued seeing the confusion on Kurt's face. "Listen a minute, and I'll explain. I am going to tell you something that only three other people know about, Mom, Dad, and Cooper, ok?" he looked at Kurt and watched as he nodded his head.
"When I was a month old, my parents started having problems, it had been going on before I was born, but when they found out about me, they tried to work on their marriage. When they started arguing more and more, they both made the decision that they didn't want to raise Cooper and I that way. They didn't want us to be brought up in a home with constant fighting, so they decided to separate. While they were separated Dad apparently started dating someone else, and she became pregnant. Dad didn't know, and by the time he found out, he was back with my mom."
"When he found out about the baby, he started sending child support to her mom and was part of her life. Mom knew all about it. I had a sister named Shey Alexander. When she was a year old, her mom died, and she was passed off to a grandmother. When dad found out Shey's mom died, he talked to mom about adopting her. By the time they had everything together, Shey had been moved, and dad never saw her again. It would seem when he was 17, Bryce met Shey, and they fell in love."
"They had had a lot of conversations about how he really didn't ever want kids, so when she got pregnant, she broke up with him and moved to London without ever telling him she was pregnant. He had no idea Sere even existed. I'm sorry Kurt, but I need to tell you a little bit about Bryce and my relationship. I won't say more than I need to," Blaine said looking at Kurt, hoping not to hurt him, because Blaine knows how he would feel if the roles were reversed and it was Kurt sitting in front of him with a child and a husband.
"That's ok, Blaine. I understand you were in a relationship with him, that you married him. I'm ok with listening to it. I want us to be friends again like we used to be. We used to be able to talk about anything without it getting weird. I want us to be able to do that again," Kurt said, even though inside he knew he really didn't want to hear about his Blaine being with anyone else
Blaine looked at him for a few minutes, and then a soft smile crossed his face "I would really like that. I have so missed you in my life. I have missed being able just to pick up the phone and talk to you. We have always been able to do that, but I am still not going to go into more than I need to."
"Bryce and I had been dating for about a month when he got a call informing him that Shay had been in a car accident and was in the hospital in critical condition. He was still listed as her emergency contact and was told that if he wanted to see her again, he needed to get to the hospital as soon as possible. I helped him pack his clothes and got us both a ticket to London. When we got to the hospital, we found out that she had died thirty minutes before we got there. Bryce fell apart, and I just held him, trying to comfort him, in the back of my mind thinking about how I would have felt in the same situation if it had been you."
"We had been there about 5 minutes when another nurse walked in, carrying a 3-month-old baby girl. Even though Shey had never told Bryce about Sere, she had listed him as Sere's father on her birth certificate."
"When I looked into that baby's face for the first time, I fell in love with her. We both noticed how she looked like a combination of the two of us. I could have been her dad as much as Bryce was. How we didn't know, but to be honest, I didn't care I wanted that baby, in my heart she was mine and I loved her instantly. I found out from dad later about Shey being his daughter, how mom knew all about it, and how they had lost track of her"
"You know how I can get sometimes. I tend to jump into situations without really taking the time to think them through first. After we left the hospital with Sere, I started thinking about things. I wanted her. I wanted to adopt her, so I asked Bryce to marry me. Looking back on it now, I know I should have waited, done things differently, but I just wanted her to be mine officially."
"I had started caring about Bryce. I didn't love him and knew I never would be able to, but I still asked him to marry me. We could be a family, we could raise Sere together, he agreed, and we were married before we left London. We had to wait there for two weeks before we could get Sere's passport. Luckily she had dual citizenship, which made the process so much quicker. After we got her passport, we came home, and I legally adopted her."
Blaine notice that Sere had fallen back asleep, so he slowly stood up and put her in her car seat so he could be free to move. He had just sat down when his phone started to ring. "Shit, " he said and quickly grabbed his phone out of his pocket, answering it as quietly as he could so he didn't wake Sere up. He looks at Kurt and mouths, sorry, and listened for a few minutes without saying anything.
"Ok, when is it set for?"
"To be honest, I don't really care I don't want to go to the stupid funeral anyway."
"I know, mom. I know what dad said about us needing to be there a family."
"Ok, I understand, I just don't feel like acting like the grieving husband around all the paparazzi that you know are going to be there."
"Ok mom, I understand," Blaine says with a sigh.
"Do I need to dress Sere in black, or do you think that will even really matter?"
"Ok, listen when I'm done here, I'll go ahead and fly home to California. You and dad can just meet Sere and me at the apartment, the two of you can sleep in mine and Bryce's room, I'll sleep on the pull out bed in the living room."
"No mom, trust me, I never plan on sleeping in that bed again."
"Oh, and before you head that way, can someone pick up my car and take it back to your house."
"Ok, thanks, the ticket is on the dash."
"No mom, I don't really know what to do with all his shit right now, if I liked his parents any better than I do, I would dump it all on their front lawn… or maybe because I don't like them then I should do that anyway."
"No, that was a joke, mom, I promise. I seriously don't know what to do with all of it. I'll figure something out, and I still need to go back to London and clean out Shey's old apartment. Bryce had been paying the mortgage on her place until he could figure out what he wanted to do with it all."
"I know, I know, I'll probably go and just get pictures and stuff out and sell the rest. I know none of Sere's clothes that we didn't bring with us will fit her anymore."
"Ok, ask dad if there is anything he thinks he might want of hers. I'll probably try to go next week to clean it out and then do something about my apartment later. I know mom, I know. I'll see you later tonight."
"Love you too," Blaine said and then hung up the phone, laying his head on the back of the couch and rubbing his eyes. So ready for this farce to be over with so he can just move on with his life.
"Do you want to talk about it?" he heard Kurt ask softly. Blaine turned his head and looked at Kurt, noticing the shocked look on his face. Blaine knew that Kurt would have questions about his half of the conversation he had just overheard, and that meant Blaine had more explaining to do. Shit…
"I'm sorry, Kurt. I really am. I never planned on telling you that much about my relationship with my husband," Blaine said, but the way he said the word husband almost like he hated that word left Kurt with little doubt that there had been trouble in paradise.
"When Bryce and I were dating, we were great. We had a lot of the same interests, the same likes, and dislikes. After we got married, things changed, well he changed. Everything seemed to be ok for the first month. We both agreed that if one of us had a project that would take us away from home, the other would just work locally, do commercials and things like that. We wanted to make sure that one of us was always home with Sere. That worked out fine, but Bryce kept getting more and more jobs that took him away from home."
"I was fine with the local work because, to be honest, I had started losing interest in the business anyway. I had been thinking about even going back to school, maybe look into the filmography or even start working on my music again. South of Always had been fun at first, but I figured out really quickly that it wasn't something I wanted to do long term."
"Well anyway, Bryce was gone more than he was home. He would be home for maybe 24 hours at the most and then was gone again for weeks at a time. We got to where we fought all the time when he was home. I knew something was going to have to be done. I didn't want to raise Sere like that."
"Things really blew up when we were both nominated in the same category for the People's Choice Awards. Bryce thought I should decline the nomination because I was his husband, and I couldn't believe he would ask me not to accept it for the same reason. I earned that nomination just as much as he had."
"The night of the award show, when I got to the theater, Bryce was already there. He hadn't waited on me. He didn't even have the decency to let me know he was back in town. Bryce had been in the middle of shooting a movie in Nevada at the time. When I got there and saw that Bryce was already there and hadn't said anything, I was a little pissed, so I didn't go up to him. If he could be there by himself, so could I. One of the male reporters decided to flirt with me, and that flew all over Bryce. He quickly found his way to my side. Then, on top of that, I won the award he felt he should have been his. I thanked everyone but him. I just didn't feel in the mood to thank him, and then when I won the second award, I once again didn't mention his name. I was so pissed at him at that point I just couldn't bring myself to care."
"We had had an argument right after we started seeing each other because I was a jerk and took something out on him that I shouldn't have. I promised him that day I would never raise my voice to him in anger again, that night was the first night I almost did."
"He kept making comments about how I just let that reporter flirt with me. I told him that if my husband had been by my side like he should have been it probably wouldn't have happened, that made him madder he kept saying that I had purposely embarrassed him knowing he had to work with those people."
"We had a major fight the day he left for this last movie in Morocco, and yes, I broke my promise because I definitely yelled at him that day. We both said some really ugly things to each other, and then he slammed out of the apartment. I went and talked to a divorce attorney that day. I was done with everything, I wanted a divorce, and I was going to file for full custody since I had always been the one to take care of Sere. Our marriage lasted just under four months," Blaine said, looking down at his hands.
"Blaine, I am sorry. I am so sorry you had to go through that," Kurt said, hating what had happened to Blaine
"The bad thing is Kurt, that is actually not the worst part of it," Blaine said, looking at Kurt with a sad look on his face, and Kurt knew he wasn't going to like the next part at all.
"I got a call in the middle of the night, letting me know that there had been an accident on set and that Bryce had been killed. I was devastated. I kept thinking about all the hateful, ugly words we had spoken to each other those where our last words, and I hated it. I remember beating myself up all the way to Morocco. I had taken Sere to Westerville for mom to watch for me, and then I had to go and identify and claim his body. After I did that and arranged for his body to be brought back to the states, I was taken to Bryce's trailer so that I could pack up any of his personal belongings and bring them home. He had this duffel bag that he always carried with him on set. He always had it when we were on the set of Always. I decided I could just put everything in it, but when I opened it up, I also found his journal, the one he always wrote in."
"I remembered seeing him write in it almost every day, so I opened it and started reading what he had written from around the time we met. It was sweet. I thought I would save it and let Sere read it when she got older. That is, until I got to the entry from when I asked him to marry me. It would seem he had been married when he was sixteen to an old girlfriend. She had gotten pregnant, and their parents had signed for them to get married. He asked his dad if it would still be ok to marry me since he was still technically married to her," Blaine said.
"What" Kurt sputtered, looking as shocked as Blaine had felt when he had first read it.
"Yeah, his dad told him since she was a girl and I was a man, it wouldn't be a problem for him to marry me. So after everything I put up with, had to deal with, I find out we were never legally married at all. So now, I have to worry about whether or not his parents are going to try to fight me for custody of my daughter since they are blood relatives and I am just her adoptive father. They just want the money Shey left for Sere, and I know it. Whoever is Sere's guardian has control of the money," Blaine said, shaking his head.
"I guess that explains the look," Kurt said looking at him
"What look?" Blaine asked him, not understanding.
"When you were leaving the airport, and you were being followed, you looked like you were devastated, in shock, but also pissed off. I don't think anyone else would have noticed it, but we've been friends for years. I learned what your facial expressions meant." Blaine could only smile because Kurt had known him sometimes better than he had known himself
"I guess you would have. You always knew me better than anyone else," Blaine whispered, raising his hand to cup Kurt's cheek, slowly rubbing his thumb up and down.
"I would hope I still do," Kurt said, resting his face in the palm of Blaine's hands for a moment before sitting back up. "So, what's your next step as far as Sere is concerned?"
"I'm not really sure, to be honest. Dad seems to think we can fight it if they do try anything since technically he has as much right to Sere as they do since he was Shey's father. I adopted her legally with Bryce's permission, and I'm also her uncle, so I should technically have more rights than they do. I just hate not knowing where I stand in this. I can't lose her, Kurt, I just can't. And on top of all of that, I have to go and make nice and act like I care that he's dead. I get to go play the grieving husband for the cameras, and I have to have my daughter in the middle of that shit show," Blaine said, sighing once again, just wishing it was already all over.
"I know I can't be there with you tomorrow, but I can be here when you get back. Blaine, I want us to be friends again. I have really missed you. I don't like that I can't just pick up the phone and talk to you the way I used to, I can't stand you not being part of my life." Kurt said feeling as tears slid down his cheeks
"I would love that. I have missed you so much," Blaine said, reaching out and pulling Kurt into his arms. Placing a soft kiss on Kurt's cheek, needing to touch him in some way, even if that was all he would allow himself for now
"Kurt, can I ask you something personal?" Blaine whispered, pulling back, unable to look in Kurt's face when a thought hit him.
"You can ask me anything. You don't ever have to ask," Kurt answered back.
"Were you happy with us, with me, I mean, before everything blew up between us. You were happy, right?" Blaine asked looking him in the eyes needing to hear his answer, feeling really unsure of himself
"Of course I was, why would you ask me something like that for?" Kurt asked, looking at Blaine, confused, trying to figure out where he was going with that question.
"Ok, I'm sorry if I am getting personal, but did I make you happy, did I satisfy you, give you what you needed when we were together sexually?" Blaine asked not able to look at him anymore
"Blaine I don't understand why you would ask me something like that for" Kurt was really confused now
"Please Kurt, please just answer the question. This is important," Blaine said he hadn't realized how much he needed to have that question answered until he asked. He needed to know.
"Did I ever do anything with you, or to you that you didn't like. Did you feel like I pushed you" Blaine asked in a soft, sad voice, thoughts of what Bryce had written in his journal running through his head, destroying every happy memory he had shared with Kurt in the bedroom.
"Blaine, I don't understand the question, but you ALWAYS satisfied me, made me feel loved and wanted and special. Where is this coming from?" he asked softly, only then noticing the tears in Blaine's eyes and the doubt he had on his face.
"I'm going to let you read something really personal. You will be the only person I ever let read this, and then I plan on destroying it." Blaine said, walking up to the diaper bag and pulling out Bryce's journal. He opened it to the page he wanted Kurt to read and then handed the book to him.
He turned his back to Kurt and walked over to the only window that he could actually see out of. He remembered that when he lived here when things between them had started falling apart, he had just stared out that window, trying to get his bearing.
When he heard Kurt's intake of breath, he knew that Kurt had read the part he had wanted him to. "No Blaine, no, don't believe that, please don't believe that," and then Kurt made him turn around and face him, pulling him in close and then was kissing him, showing Blaine just how much he had enjoyed being with him. Nothing he had ever done to him had ever disgusted him or ever could have.
Blaine slowly pulled out of Kurt's embrace "But Kurt you pulled away too, we were engaged, and you no longer wanted to do anything with me, you would come to bed after I was asleep and would leave the bed before I woke up, I always hated that. What was I supposed to think, and now this?..."
"Oh Blaine sweety, it was never that I swear it was never that. I loved it when we were together that way. I just lost my way in my own nervousness and fear of the unknown. We were doing so good, we were enjoying being together, and I always loved it when you made love to me. You were kind and gentle and caring. You took care of me, treated me like I was the most special thing in your world."
"It's just that I started having all these doubts. Remember when we were closing out glee, and everyone came back. Remember what April said, how that was what the world needed, another teenage marriage, how we were going to end in divorce. That on top of my own doubts is what happened to us, not you Blaine, never you. That I can swear to you, " Kurt said, trying to get him to understand
"I always needed you, and you always gave me what I needed and wanted. Please don't believe this." Kurt said, holding up the journal, never meaning anything more than he did right now
"He was confused. He realized he wasn't what he thought he was. Trust me, as a gay man if I had sex with a girl, I would be disgusted too. Not because of the person she was but because of what she was. Look at how you felt that time you kissed Rachel sober, remember what you told me, that even though you liked her as a person and a friend kissing her made your skin crawl."
That's finally what connected with Blaine, remembering what he had felt when he had kissed Rachel, just how wrong it had been. He can only imagine how he would have felt if he had had sex with her. Blaine finally smiled his first real smile since everything happened. Kurt had always been able to calm his crazy and help him find his center. With just that one sentence, Blaine was finally ok.
"I know we just agreed to be friends again, but I want you to know that I want more, and if I ever get the chance to make love with you again, I will jump on the chance, and the only thing that will disgust me is when we have to stop. I love you, Blaine, forever and always, and I am still and will always be your Nemo" Kurt said the words he had said before many times, but never meant them more.
Blaine just looked at him for a few minutes and then pulled Kurt into his arms, kissing him the way he has wanted to since he first opened the door. Not ever wanting to let him go again, but knowing he needed to. He still had a funeral to go to.
He slowly pulled away a little, "I need to head home, I need to get ready for tomorrow, I so wish you could be there. When this is done, can I come back, can we spend some more time together?" Blaine asked, looking at him hopeful again, finally feeling the tension he had felt since he and Kurt had broken up, leaving his body. He was finally ready to move on and start to trust again.
"I would enjoy that," Kurt said right as Blaine pulled him back into his arms and kissed him, Kurt finally felt like they were on the right track. Maybe there was a way that they could work their way back to each other after all.
