A/N: Chapter Warnings – Sexual situations, bad language, discussions of rape, suicide and cutting
Chapter 15: The Kiss, Minerva McGonagall, and a Brutal Slap
She stood on her tiptoes and placed a light and gentle kiss on his lips. Her arms were wrapped around his neck and his hands had automatically gone to her back, and one hand had even roamed down to her waist as he lost himself in the kiss, forgetting that she was a student. In this moment it was just two friends, who had strong feelings for each other, testing their desire. It was breath-taking, and fleeting, and Snape's heart rate had sped up, and he was stunned by her reaction to him, and he felt his cheeks warm, and he flushed red as she pressed her body against his so that he could feel every single curve that her body possessed. He was mortified at the possibility that his breath was probably disgusting.
He had no time to think about that though, he had other matters that required his attention. The man had not had any female contact in so long, that his body was reacting to the light kiss as if he was a pubescent teen that needed to wank at least ten times a day. He shifted his hips trying to keep her from noticing the huge tent that was forming in his trousers. He could feel the thick material of her jumper, brushing up against him, and he had to hold his breath, and clench his toes to keep himself from cumming in his trousers like a randy teenager. His breathing had laboured, as he fought his body's natural urge to rut against the cradle of her hips.
Then reality crept in like a slap to the face. He was kissing his student, his underage student and he began to panic, he quickly, but gently, pushed her away and he moved to the other side of the room.
"This can't happen" he mumbled regrettably when he saw her frown. He was still battling his body; he would definitely need some private time once she had left.
Hermione's eyes were wide; she couldn't believe that she had just kissed her professor, her friend, her saviour. What was she playing at?
She was mortified but on another level, she was satisfied. She had been thinking about this for some time. Hermione logically knew that it was wrong to kiss her professor, he could get into trouble, and so could she. She knew that although she was of consenting age in the muggle world, she was still underage in the wizarding world; even after using the time turner.
Hermione looked at Severus with a slightly panicked expression, hoping that he wasn't going to shut her out again. This was the first time she had felt any desire to be intimate with a man since her assault, and she wasn't going to let anything change her mind about this. She had wanted to kiss him, in fact, she had wanted to do much more than kiss him.
Severus sighed.
"I meant what I said to you, every single word, but if anyone were to find out about this, we would both be forced from the castle, and we both have too important roles to play in this coming war. We need to be here." He said gently, almost as if the words pained him.
Hermione cleared her throat before she spoke.
"I'm sorry for putting you in that position; I initiated the kiss after all. But I'm not going to apologise for kissing you, I've wanted to do that for a while now and I want to do it again, one day. I also want to thank you for what you said to me, you opened up to me, told me the truth, and I can think of no one more perfect than you, that I would want to spend the rest of life with" she said.
Severus was shocked, although he hid it well, no one had ever willingly wanted to be intimate with him, he had his reputation of the greasy dungeon bat and that alone normally kept people away. This young woman was something else entirely, and for one shining moment he wanted to pick her up, apparate to a secure location far away from the countryside of Scotland and live a life together, a normal, happy life.
But unfortunately, life doesn't always work that way and Severus was too old, had seen too much to believe that dreams and fairy-tale like stories come true.
Severus didn't know how to respond to what she had said to him. He wanted to tell her that he wanted to do this again with her but he didn't think he could say it without feeling like a perverted cradle snatcher so instead, he smiled a beaming smile at her, hoping that she understood that what she had said had made him so unbelievably happy.
It worked, Hermione's eyes welled up in happiness, and she smiled back at him with his favourite smile.
He paused for a moment.
"Colonel Brandon, eh?" He questioned jokingly.
Hermione flushed bright red, she hadn't meant to say that, it was impulsive and it had left her lips before she could think about it. Colonel Brandon, her favourite character from her favourite book. Severus, obviously equally intellectual, knew exactly what she was talking about and smirked at her. He could cope with being compared to Colonel Brandon; he had been compared with much worse in the past, so he wasn't complaining. Although, he was surprised to know she thought of him like that. The book character was an unsung hero, a man who had lived, loved and lost, and found love again in a young woman who was the most beautiful goddess he had seen. He felt his heart swell at the thought that she saw him that way.
They were suddenly interrupted by a knock at the door. Severus went and opened it, the door opened to reveal that a sheepish Harry was stood on the other side of it.
"What do you want Potter?" Severus sneered at the young boy.
"Ummm, I was looking for Hermione, Professor McGonagall wants to see us in her office" Harry said.
"And how on earth did you know that you would find Miss Granger here?" Severus asked.
"I was told by another student that Hermione was seen walking down here, she mentioned a project that she was doing for you so I guessed this would be where I would find her" Harry lied, hopefully convincingly. He didn't want to reveal that he had actually found her by looking at the Marauders map.
Severus looked at the boy suspiciously, he had never trusted the boy and the boy had never trusted him, and that was perfectly fine with Severus. He could live without the need of Potters approval. However, Severus didn't believe the boys lies about how he knew where to find the Gryffindor princess and was about to question the boy further, before docking points off him for skulking around where he wasn't supposed to be. Hermione sensed this and didn't want Severus learning about the map, no matter how much she trusted him, and so she tried to think of a quick excuse to stop Severus' interrogation.
"Yes, Neville was with me earlier when Professor Snape approached me, I was late coming down here to talk to the professor about a project I am interested in working on. Did Professor McGonagall tell you why she wanted to see us?" Hermione asked her friend.
"No, she just told us to meet her in her office" Harry said.
Hermione turned to the potions master.
"May I be excused sir? It appears my head of house wants to see me, would we be able to continue this discussion another time?" She asked Severus politely.
Severus nodded.
"Look for my owl Granger" he said, back in his strict and authoritative tone.
She walked out and the door slammed shut behind them.
The two students then made their way to the office of their head of house.
"What project you working on Mione?" Harry asked her.
"Not sure yet, I have a range of topics that I want to work on but I'm unsure which one to go for, which is why I was asking Professor Snape. I want to be a Mediwitch and you need a potions mastery qualification for that, so I was seeking advice. He's been rather compliant, shockingly" Hermione half lied, half told the truth.
She wanted to be a Mediwitch one day but she wasn't currently working on a project with Severus, she had been kissing him instead.
Harry dropped the subject as they walked down the corridor that took them to professor McGonagall's office; they knocked and waited to be invited in.
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Once in Professor McGonagall's office, they were sat down and waiting for their beloved head of house to talk to them.
"Potter, I heard you shouted at Professor Umbridge? Called her a liar?" the Professor asked him in her stern, Scottish accent.
Harry hesitated.
"Yes professor" he said slowly, cautiously, thinking about how much trouble he might get in for his disrespect.
To both the students' surprise, the Professor smiled.
"Good lad Potter would you like a biscuit?" She offered him with a wink.
Both students grinned at each other, knowing that the most respected teacher in the castle also hated the toad. This meant more support for the students.
"I just wanted to warn you both that Umbridge has sanctioned an 'inquisitorial squad' basically to be her eyes and ears all over the castle. She's offering rewards for any information they can find. The squad is mainly formed of Slytherin's, so just be cautious about what you do and what you say. I need you to get word out to the others in our house so that there are no consequences. Am I clear?" McGonagall explained to her two favourite students.
Harry and Hermione quickly agreed and that was all that was said. McGonagall spoke with Harry briefly before dismissing him, leaving just Hermione and her head of house.
"Now Miss Granger, I had been informed, a couple of weeks ago, by the Headmaster to issue you with a detention. I did not do so as the headmaster could not give me a reason for doing so and also, it is unlike you to receive detention. In fact, you have been very aloof in your classes, and other teachers have mentioned your lack of enthusiasm in class. Care to tell me what is going on with you?" the professor asked her favourite student.
Hermione bit her lip, she wanted to spill everything right there, tell her professor everything that had been going on. She was also thankful that Dumbledore had kept the issue regarding her prefect status being revoked and then reinstated a secret, she wouldn't have known what to say if she had been questioned on it. Harry was suspicious as it was, she had told him she had turned down the position and then changed her mind, and she felt guilty for lying to him but was grateful that her friend was gullible.
Hermione was also scared, she didn't want McGonagall to accuse her of lying or think her a harlot. She didn't want McGonagall to go to Dumbledore and get in even more trouble for telling someone and trying to get help from someone who was a mother figure to her.
"No Professor, you are mistaken, there is nothing wrong and there is nothing going on that I would class as concerning" Hermione said, trying to be convincing.
Her professor sighed.
"Your hesitation suggests otherwise Miss Granger. Look, I've heard the rumours that have been circulating since you students came back and well, forgive me Miss Granger, but I must ask, are you pregnant?" McGonagall asked in a warm, mothering tone.
Hermione was saddened that her head of house felt the need to ask such a question, and it just made her even angrier at the foul gossip that everyone had spread about her.
Hermione shook her head.
"No professor, I'm not" Hermione told her honestly.
"What about this business with you and Sirius Black over the summer?" McGonagall asked her.
Hermione swallowed and tried to find the right words.
Again, Hermione's hesitation led to McGonagall drawing her own conclusions from the young girl's silence.
"It is true, isn't it Miss Granger? You have been fooling around with Mr Black all summer" McGonagall said scandalised, as she looked at her student with sincere disapproval.
Hermione mumbled and McGonagall had to focus to hear her.
"Speak up girl, if you have something to say then say it" McGonagall stated sternly.
"It wasn't consensual" Hermione whispered.
McGonagall paused.
"What did you say dear?" She asked, hoping she had misheard the girl.
"I wasn't a willing participant" Hermione said a little louder.
McGonagall was in two minds, she automatically wanted to say that she didn't believe her student, that she couldn't believe something so awful could take place under the Order's protection. However, she knew her young cub, and knew that she wouldn't lie about something like this.
"Are you saying that Sirius Black sexually assaulted you whilst you were staying at Grimmauld Place this summer?" McGonagall asked.
Hermione chewed on her lip and nodded.
"Are you certain it wasn't consented?" McGonagall asked.
Hermione was insulted.
"Madame, he came into my room when I was sleeping, he was drunk, he pinned me to the bed and had his way with me. Then threatened me not to tell anyone or there would be consequences. He then came back for a second round, the night before we got on the Hogwarts Express" Hermione said sharply.
"Merlin! Does anyone else know about this?" McGonagall asked, moving to place a comforting arm around the girl.
Hermione nodded.
McGonagall was getting angrier, she wanted to maim Black for what he had done and maim anyone else who knew for not telling her. As the girls head of house she has the right to be informed of such developments. How dare she be kept out of the loop!
Hermione sensed the older woman's anger and hesitantly backed away not knowing if there was going to be an explosion or not.
McGonagall saw the girl's frightened look and forced herself to calm down. It wasn't fair on the girl.
"I'm not angry at you Miss Granger. Why don't we go to my quarters where we can talk with less eyes and ears around us?" McGonagall questioned as she steered the girl in the direction of her rooms.
They sat on the comfortable sofa and Hermione told McGonagall everything.
"The people who know are Professor Snape, Draco Malfoy, Remus and the Headmaster" Hermione told her.
McGonagall froze.
"You mean to tell me that the headmaster knew that one of my students had been harmed and did not think to inform me?" She queried.
"Dumbledore said that Harry needed Black to be a role model and father figure. That the bond they shared would keep Harry focused on his task and that I wasn't to talk to anyone about what had happened. I told Remus just before we got the train back to Hogwarts he wanted to believe me but, at the same time, believe his oldest friend was innocent and so went to Dumbledore about it. I got told off by Dumbledore for telling Remus, stripped of my prefect badge and given the three detentions. Draco saw my bruises on the train and has been helping me ever since. Professor Snape was staying in the room next to me at Grimmauld and heard my night terrors, he got me to tell him and he took me to a muggle hospital to repair the physical damage the assault had caused me. Professor Snape has been my confidante in all of this, he has been really kind" Hermione confided in her head of house.
McGonagall had gone devil red and had become angrier throughout Hermione's explanation and, by the end of it, she was almost purple. Hermione was sure her head of house had burst a vein and steam should be coming out of her professor's ears.
Noticing the girl looking at her with worry, the head of house took a deep breath and calmed for a moment.
"Forgive me, Miss Granger, I just need a moment to compose myself. I shall be back in a few moments, feel free to look at any of my books, pour another tea and have some more biscuits and cakes. Dear child, don't worry about a thing. I will protect you and help you. You should have come to me sooner. You could have written me an owl when this first happened during the summer, I would've been there in a heartbeat" the old woman hugged the girl and then vacated the room in order to calm herself down.
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Meanwhile Severus had been called up to Dumbledore's office. They had received intelligence that there had been a breakout from Azkaban courtesy of Voldemort.
"Bellatrix Lestrange, Antonin Dolohov, Mulciber and seven other known death eaters have escaped. He's trying to build up his ranks by getting his strongest and most loyal followers back" Dumbledore told Severus.
Severus said nothing, and nodded at the old man. They knew this was going to happen but they didn't realise it was going to happen this soon.
"They're accusing Sirius Black of helping as he escaped Azkaban himself" Dumbledore noted from the article in the 'Daily Prophet'.
Severus clenched his fists at the mention of Black's name. He still wanted to kill the dog that had caused harm to his favourite young witch.
He soon turned his attention back to the matter at hand. The men sat and discussed strategy and their next moves, and Severus promised to pay closer attention at the death eater meetings and keep the Order informed on what was being planned for these escapees.
There was a sudden bang as the door to the headmaster's office was flung open with such a force that it left a dent in the brickwork behind it.
Both men turned to attention at the intrusion and came face to face with a red faced, angry, scary, old Scottish woman.
"HOW DARE YOU ALBUS DUMBLEDORE?" She screamed at the headmaster as she strode towards him.
Severus looked surprised, his jaw hung open and his eyes wide at the scene that was unfolding before his eyes.
Dumbledore wasn't so lucky; he didn't have time to look surprised as the angry Scottish woman approached him and gave him the most brutal slap across his face. His head snapped forcefully to the side and was sure to leave a wicked bruise.
