A/N: Chapter Warnings – Sexual situations, bad language, discussions of rape, suicide and cutting.
A/N: Once again, thank you all for being so supportive! :)
Chapter 17: Harry Knows and an Interesting Morning with Severus
Hermione opened her sore eyes, she was momentarily confused when she looked around her room and noticed that it wasn't hers. She took in the dark, old fashioned room and admired the beautiful fireplace, and basked in the peace that the still room offered.
Yesterday after leaving McGonagall's office, she had caught up with Harry outside by the lake before curfew and she sat beside him. Hermione could tell that something had been on her friends mind so she had asked him if he was alright.
Hermione sighed as she remembered the conversation that had taken place.
.
.
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"Are you alright Harry?" She had asked.
"It should be me asking that question don't you think? So, own up, is it true or was it just a pathetic attempt at getting attention?" Harry asked her somewhat bitterly.
Hermione paused; she was shocked and unsure about what he was talking about. She was also upset that he had accused her, yet again, of being an attention seeker.
"Harry, what are you talking about? I don't understand" Hermione asked trying to gain some control over the situation.
"I heard you talking to McGonagall earlier. Talking about Sirius and your 'unfortunate summer' at Grimmauld Place" Harry looked at her accusingly.
Hermione felt as if she'd swallowed a hamster, she couldn't breathe, there was no way that Harry had any idea about what had happened, it just wasn't possible.
"Harry, you were listening in on the conversation? You weren't meant to find out! Harry, please keep your head, let me explain at least give me that chance?" Hermione pleaded her friend. The last thing that she wanted was for Harry to go and spread this, she knew he wouldn't do it on purpose but once the truth was out, it was out.
Harry gritted his teeth.
"You have two minutes. Did you seduce him and spread your legs for him? Or was it more of a 'beg to be fucked' situation?" He asked her flatly.
"Harry!" Hermione exclaimed, feeling as though she had been slapped at the harsh words.
"Listen to me Harry Potter. Sirius was drunk one night, it was a couple of days after I arrived at Grimmauld, he came into my room and pinned me to the mattress and had his way with me. It was an unprovoked assault and I neither wanted nor needed his attention. Who in their right mind would want to be assaulted?" She asked him.
"I don't want to believe you, I can't believe you" he shouted at her.
"You had a crush on him. Maybe you had sex, didn't like it so instead claimed rape" Harry said.
"For fuck sake Harry, we have discussed this and you know full well that I don't have a crush on Sirius, nor will I ever. We had this conversation in the common room and I meant every word of it then and I mean every word of this now" she said trying to get her point across to him.
"Hermione-" he said in a pained voice, he wasn't sure what to say. If he believed her then he was condemning his godfather, his family. But if he believed Sirius, then he was condemning one of his best friends, his sister. He didn't know what to do.
Hermione was silent, waiting to hear what her friend would say next.
"Is it just McGonagall and I that know about it?" Harry asked her.
She shook her head.
"Dumbledore knows, Remus knows, Neville sort of knows, Draco knows, and so does Professor Snape" she told him.
Harry's eyes widened.
"All of them know? Hell, even Malfoy and Neville know, since when are they more important to you than I am?" Harry snapped at her.
"Harry, Sirius threatened me to not say anything; I was scared so I went to Dumbledore. I knew he would be discreet and would advise me as best as he could. Only he didn't, Dumbledore told me to keep quiet about it, that it would ruin his plans if anyone knew about it. I told Remus the day we got the train back to school. I didn't expect him to turn against his oldest friend, I just wanted help and advice but then he told Dumbledore and the headmaster punished me for it, took my badge and issued those detentions. Professor Snape helped me through my night terrors, he took me to a hospital to get healed and he's been there for me whenever I needed. Severus has helped me the most through all of this, he even comforted me when I broke down after arguing with you lot at Grimmauld" she told him honestly.
"Dumbledore and Remus really did that?" Harry asked her.
Hermione nodded.
"And Snape has been comforting you?" Harry grimaced at the thought of Snape being nice.
Again, Hermione nodded.
"What about Malfoy and Neville? How the hell did they find out, it must've been when we came back to school because we didn't see either of them during the summer" Harry asked, still trying to give her the benefit of the doubt in all of this.
"Neville doesn't know about the situation, not really. He knows something happened during the summer and that I have been struggling with it. But he doesn't know what, or who is involved. Draco, saw my bruises when I sat with him on the train back to school, after you guys wouldn't sit with me, I broke down and told him everything and he's been my friend and helped me ever since. You will just have to deal with that Harry, Draco is now my friend and he always will be no matter what" Hermione stated firmly, daring Harry to say something against the new friendship.
"Hermione you can't expect me to be happy about that-. Hang on; you said Malfoy saw your bruises on the train. But that would have been about three weeks after you claim you were assaulted, surely the bruises weren't that bad to still be that visible from afar?" Harry asked her.
Hermione cursed her friend's intelligence. It irritated her that Harry could be so unbelievably and stupidly impulsive, and brash, but this is what he picks up on. Hermione promised to tell the truth, she sighed.
"Sirius assaulted me twice. First time was a couple of days after I arrived, and the second time was the Wednesday night before we got on the Hogwarts Express" she told him.
"Twice?!" Harry exclaimed. If he didn't believe her before, he definitely didn't now. It just didn't make sense, there was no way it could have happened with so many Order members under one roof, it was impossible.
"Impossible, I don't believe you, how could it have happened with nearly the whole fucking Order there?" Harry yelled at her.
Hermione jumped.
"Well it did Harry. The first time, Remus was away because it was a full moon and Severus was helping him. So it just left Sirius and me in the house. The second time it happened, it was the night Severus had left to come back to school. I was the only person on that entire floor, of course it was an easy target, especially when Severus' magic in his security wards had weakened after he left to come back here, I lost all protection after he left" she told him.
"I can't believe you Hermione! It just doesn't sound real, like something from a movie" Harry said shaking his head.
Hermione was getting desperate now; she wanted her best friend to believe her. She felt tears beginning to form in her eyes, she wished them away and not to fall. She hated her recent weakness of crying.
"Also, you went to Malfoy and Neville, before you came to me! Neville! I can understand the others, but Neville? What, is he more important to you than I am now, is that how this works?" Harry was getting angry, Hermione could tell by his tone.
"No, he stopped me from doing something very stupid, he deserved some explanation" Hermione muttered.
"What? Did he stop you from spreading your legs for Malfoy or something?" Harry sneered at her.
Hermione snapped, before she knew it she had slapped Harry around the face. The sound of skin hitting skin was enough to make her wince.
"Fuck you Harry! Neville stopped me from throwing myself off the Astronomy Tower, if it wasn't for him I wouldn't even be here right now" Hermione shouted at him.
Harry froze.
"What?" He whispered.
But Hermione wasn't done, she was ready for this and she was going to be heard.
"That's right, that's what Neville did for me! I couldn't cope and was ready to end it all. Hell, I slit my wrists after the second assault, but it didn't work, I was so disappointed that I'd failed. And do you know why I didn't tell you about it? It's because Harry that no matter what, no matter what, you are my best friend. I would never dream of putting such a rift between you and your closest family. I would never, ever make you choose a side or cause you to think badly of him because you idolise him, and you need him, and I can accept that as long as you can accept the way I have chosen to handle this, and for Merlin sake, do not tell him that I told you, I dread to imagine what he would do to me in retaliation" Hermione cried at him, she took her bag and headed back towards the castle, not really sure where she was going, and left Harry there to ponder over what she had told him.
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.
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"Hermione, are you alright?" the most magnificent sound brought her out of her memories and back to reality. She looked up to see a sleep dishevelled Severus standing next to the sofa with concern in his eyes. She then felt something wet in her cheeks and reached up only to find that she had been crying again. She cursed herself; she really needed to stop doing that and blamed it on the fact that she was pre-menstrual.
Hermione wiped the tears away and turned to Severus, once again taking in his appearance and she giggled at him. His bed head was worse than hers, hair was sticking out everywhere.
Severus guessed why she was laughing at him and glared playfully at her before yawning.
"So what happened with you and Potter?" Severus asked, remembering why she was here in the first place.
Hermione sighed and told him the conversation that had taken place between the two friends by the lake.
Severus clenched his jaw in anger; he couldn't believe the stupidity of the boy. Actually, he could believe the stupidity of the boy. Severus sighed, his poor Hermione was suffering yet again because her so called friends couldn't listen to her. One day, they were going to ignore her, and what she has to say, and it was going to land the rest of them in great trouble.
Severus could see the headlines now:
'Foolish Gryffindor's dead because they didn't listen to their only friend with brains'.
Severus sighed again; they would learn the hard way soon enough, if they were not careful.
Severus grimaced and turned back to the matter at hand, comforting his friend.
"Do you think he will tell anyone? Or will he be able to keep his trap shut?" He asked her seriously.
"I don't know, I don't think he would say anything without having the full story. He might question Sirius in a very subtle and Slytherin way" Hermione admitted.
"Really? Potter playing Slytherin, what a nauseating thought" Severus said.
"Well, it was the original house the hat wanted to place him in" Hermione told him.
"Yuck! Don't tell me that!" Severus said, face turning pale. Hermione laughed at him again.
"Thank you, for letting me stay here" she said.
"I didn't have much of a choice when you cried yourself to sleep in my lap" he told her mockingly.
Hermione flushed red, she had forgotten about that and couldn't believe that she had acted so childishly. She was trying to prove her maturity to him for goodness sake.
"I'm sorry; I like a cuddle and climbing on laps to do so. I've picked up too many habits from my cat" she said, absolutely mortified at the thought.
Severus smirked at her, yes she had been somewhat akin to a cat, and he couldn't help but let out a slight chuckle as he seated himself on the sofa.
Hermione was not in the mood for his mocking so, in an attempt to annoy him, she quickly climbed on top of him as she had last night in an attempt to be triumphant.
It had the desired effect; he immediately stopped chuckling at her and instead looked at her in surprise.
"Ha!" She teased, arms folded and looking triumphant. Then her expression softened.
"I'm all seriousness, I am really thankful for everything you have done for me" she said whilst looking at his lips. Hermione could feel that weird tingle again, urging her to be closer to Severus.
Severus had begun to respond to her thanks but was cut off by the pressure of her lips against his once again. He immediately forgot about what he was going to say and melted into the kiss.
She was being passionate, and he had wound his hands in her hair. She brushed her tongue against his lips, waiting to be granted access to his mouth.
He obliged and welcomed her into his mouth where a war between tongues broke out, both seeking dominance. Severus had stopped thinking, and was just letting his instincts take over. Hermione, who was nervous when she started this, was becoming more confident. She could feel tingles break out in her body again and realised that this was how intimacy was meant to be. She felt comfortable with Severus and trusted him completely, she didn't feel scared with him, and she felt empowered.
The heat in the room doubled, and the snogging became ferocious and Hermione could feel the hum of satisfaction at the back of her throat as she tried not to groan out loud.
She then noticed something else; she couldn't work out what was happening. She was too caught up in her emotions and was concentrating on the kiss to focus on what was raising her curiosity.
She tried to seek more knowledge about it as she moved her hips to see if she could move it and discover what it was. She rocked her hips and promptly froze when Severus let out a strangled groan.
'Merlin! I've hurt him' she thought to herself as she looked at Severus with his eyes shut tightly as if he were trying to focus on something.
Then her mind cleared, and she was able to think again, and she looked down at where her hips were and noticed her professor's erection standing to attention in his thin sleep trousers. She thought that she would have been scared, or at least nervous around the male anatomy. But apparently there was no issue here, she trusted him and she actually liked these new feelings.
She could feel her heart racing, she was out of breath and she felt distinctly wet in her underwear and it was all euphoric.
She rocked her hips again to create more friction to alleviate the pressure in her womanhood but was stopped when two hands were placed gently on her hips to stop her movements. Severus groaned again.
"We need to stop" he mumbled blissfully as reality crashed into him again. The ache in his cock was almost painful but he would not take advantage of her, not like this. She was still healing, she was emotional, and he would not become his father or Black. He wouldn't do it to her.
He told her to get up and nearly came when she brushed up against his cock once more.
"Tease" he told her whilst trying to get his erection to go away.
Hermione chewed her lip.
"I didn't hurt you did I? You look like you're in pain" she told him.
"Quite the opposite dear, when a man gets one of these it can hurt, in a pleasurably painful sort of way, if he doesn't deal with it quickly". He informed her.
Ever the diligent student, Hermione memorised every word he had said and replayed them as she understood what he was saying to her. She wanted to ask questions, as always and so opened her mouth to speak.
"Do you need me to help-" she was cut off before she could finish.
"Don't finish that question. I might take you up on it if you do" he replied warningly. He was still trying to gain control over his betraying body.
Hermione sat and assessed him for a while until he had finally gained control of himself and could conduct himself in a manner acceptable when in polite company.
"My apologies" he told her.
But she refused it, she did not want him apologising for that, not ever.
Instead she giggled, and he ordered them some food from the kitchens. They sat and ate in comfortable silence, both thinking about the early morning events.
Severus went to get dressed and Hermione sat and ate her breakfast.
Severus cursed himself the minute he had closed his bedroom door. What was he thinking? He had lost control again, and had snogged his student.
Severus shook his head. No, he had snogged his friend. Embarrassingly he had pitched a tent in her presence and he was angry at himself for it. He remembered the way her hips had rocked against him, pleasuring his cock through his lounging trousers.
He needed to relieve his ache and his hand found its way down his trousers and wrapped around his dick. However, moments later, Severus pulled his hand back and instead began holding his forearm.
'Well that's one way to turn me off' he thought to himself as he was being summoned.
He stepped out of the bedroom and Hermione immediately noticed what was wrong, he was being called. He looked at Hermione, who looked at him worriedly and he stepped towards her and gave her a light kiss on her temple.
"I will be fine, I promise. Make sure you leave within the hour or people might see you and then trouble will ensue" he told her.
Hermione nodded and stroked his bicep gently. Severus smiled at her and then he turned to leave his chambers. Just like that, Severus was gone.
