Chapter 6
Leia waded through the hazy realm of her own mind, momentarily taking the form of an unknown city. She felt shorter than usual and as she passed by the reflection of a shop, she caught the gaze of a young girl staring back. A face she'd glimpsed only a handful of times before she had been dragged off to the labs that became her hell. Someone shoved into her, sending her staggering forward, and the crowd lurched, unfocused, before her. She caught herself on a fruit stand and stood up, looking around. A strange sense of panic surged through her, as if feeling lost, abandoned.
"Mama! Mama!" Her voice was shrill as a child, kindled with only the kind of panic a child could muster – as if the world itself was ending. "Papa?"
She spun around, shouting but strangers passed her by. No one seemed to care. A force slammed into her from behind, sending her careening out into the chaos of the busy roads. She spun, her eyes locking on a mag-car hurtling towards and death rushed to meet her. Her hands went up, as if she might stop it, and just as the car went to kill her, it swept through; with it, the city vanished and as she lowered her hands, she stared at a new face in the dim light of a window. She was a few years older, perhaps ten or so, and her hair was cropped short. A room encircled her. White, harsh, stinking of chemicals that had been used to scrub the blood from the floor.
The cold chill of a control collar felt heavy around her neck, yet quietly comforting in a distant sort of way. Back then, her control was tenuous and she was prone to fits of rage, which produced wild surges of power. A collar was the only thing that kept her docile enough for any sort of experiments. Uncollared and in a fit of rage, she'd send guards and scientists running, screaming.
The door to her cell opened; four nurses in white scrubs rushed in, one with a needle in hand. Panic surged. She tried to fight but she was small, a child, with no actual fighting ability, so she found herself pinned to the ground. The needle was jammed in and her gaze went hazy, the room lurching here and there so violently she hurled herself to the side and wretched up the meagre contents of her stomach. She put a hand on the white floor, felt hands curl around her, draw her up…and she was calmly marched from the room. There was no fight in her and her gaze remained dead ahead, idly tracking over the long white hallway that seemed to stretch endlessly before her. Sometimes, it split off, revealed closed doors, even an elevator. One she'd use years later to fight her way to victory – as a child, however, she had no idea of escape because what was there beyond the lab? For all the horrors, she was fed and warm…and there were people focused on her, rather than her parents, which had sold her off the second she'd demonstrated abilities.
For all her rage, it swirled inside of her – a maelstrom but with no real direction, nothing to sharpen it on. Sometimes, a guard or scientist might be caught in the crossfire but there was no real specific malice towards them.
As they slowed their march one stepped ahead to open a door – he passed through first, then Leia was ushered through. As she did, the world shifted once more, became a little communal park she'd played in as a little girl. It was night and the air was crisp, biting at her cheeks, no doubt making them ruddy. Clouds of breath swirled before her as she swung aimlessly on the swing, her knees shown through the holes in her old flowery pants. Still, she swung on, humming to herself. She watched as a couple other kids, whose rosy faces were familiar but names escaped her, played together. They didn't pay her any attention and when they finally left, without sparing her so much as a fleeting look, she exhaled, and a cloud of breath swirled before her.
"Hello little girl," said a woman, sitting down on the swing next to her. "Is it okay if I swing here, too?"
Leia nodded but was well aware to not to talk to people she didn't know. The woman, tall and striking, swung slowly, gaze ahead, unfocused. She seemed sad, grieving over something, yet child Leia didn't know what to say. Sad adults were beyond her understanding. Her parents were cold, clinical, and sadness on adults was a strange thing to see – confusing, really.
"Why didn't you play with those kids?" The woman asked absently. "Don't you like them?"
"They don't like me."
"Why?"
Leia looked up at the woman. "I'm not meant to talk to you."
"To me? We haven't met before." The woman's gaze finally focused on Leia and she smiled, bemused. It dimmed again and she looked ahead. "I don't have many friends either – I only have two, really. My husband and my friend, Tam. She's coming to pick me up, soon, so I thought I'd wait here. It seemed peaceful."
They fell into a silence and after a time, the woman stood and started over to the edge of the park, near where the vehicles were parked. A woman rose out of one, half cloaked in shadows…but as she inched forward, her face caught the light of a lamp.
It was Tamara.
Artemis was barely out of her car at Barry's house when he came out to greet her. He looked pale and worried, which made her gut tighten with worry. His call had sounded panicked, asking her to come over, that something had happened with Wally.
"What happened?" She asked.
"He…This new threat came to our house. Wally had everyone inside whilst he talked to her. After, he seemed zoned out and when I grabbed his shoulder, he had me pinned. It was like he didn't even recognise me. Then he came around and he ran off." He looked at her. "I called, hoping he might've gone by your place. I'm trying to figure out where he might've gone. He didn't go back to the watchtower to his friends or wife."
The slip sucker punched Artemis in the chest. Ice flooded her veins. "Wife?"
Barry, worried for Wally, seemed oblivious to Artemis's shock. He spun back as Iris came out.
"I called Dick but Wally hasn't gone to him. Everyone else is the same." Iris saw Artemis, smiled but she, too, seemed preoccupied. Worried for her nephew. "I don't know why he ran off. I wish he knew we're not mad at him."
"I'll go look for him. I know some places he liked to go to think." She turned back to the car, nervous to find him, nervous if she didn't. Half in, she looked at the worried pair, and Wally's parents, whom were on the front porch. His mum cried into her husband's chest. She got into the car and reversed out.
As she drove away, she thought about Wally. The day he'd vanished from her life…and his final words. She'd thought he'd died and it had taken her years to come to terms with that, to grieve and find some way to move on. She'd been tricked into thinking he was dead, then six months ago, when Zatanna had confessed. It had nearly destroyed her, that truth, and she still didn't know how to process it. For a while, she raged; then, she cried; finally, she found hope that maybe, just maybe, she might hope. Yet it had been that hope, quietly kindled away, that had been somewhat dulled by the intensifying feelings for Will.
Finally, she'd let herself feel again and she'd fallen for Will, hook, line and sinker. It felt right to move forward. It hurt to drag herself back into the memories, to the moments she'd made with Wally but it couldn't be avoided. The closest place was a beach, about an hour south of the city, situated just off the main road. He often went there after bad missions, told her he found it calming, peaceful. Someday, he wanted to buy a house by that beach and just watch the sun rise over the water. A couple times she'd found him there she'd sat with him, sometimes for hours, often saying very little.
As she turned down the little side road, marked only by a crumbling sign, she saw the tiny parking area was empty. She parked, turned off the car, sat there. Her chest grew tight. What was she going to say? After five years of clinging to hope, grieving, falling apart and trying to pull herself back together. Now, he was back…and he wasn't alone. Five years had changed him, had changed them both.
With a deep breath, she got out of the car and set off towards the beach. Each step felt slow, agonising, and time stretched out painfully before her. Possible greetings darted around her mind, hundreds of variations but as she crested the top of the path, looking down, all of it rushed away.
There he was, sitting there, his knees drawn up to his chest. From behind she saw the differences; his hair was shorter, revealing a long pale scar that ran from behind his right ear down beneath his collar. How had he gotten it? He was wearing a plain red t-shirt and jeans, the kind he wore before…yet as she inched closer, he scrambled to his feet and spun around.
Just like that, the world froze.
Then she was moving and he was too, and there was, in his arms, crying. He squeezed her, then pulled away, one hand on her cheek.
"Hey Artemis."
Not hey babe, like she'd always imagined.
"I thought I'd find you here," she said gently. "Barry called. He told me what happened."
The warmth in his eyes flashed out; he stiffened, turned away. "That I attacked him, like some monster? I could've killed him!"
"You, kill the flash?" She said softly, a small teasing lilt to her voice, as if that might bring him back.
He spun back to her. "Artemis, I lost control. I felt her inside my head and I couldn't fight her. I couldn't fight her."
He was crumbling before her eyes and sank to his knees. She dropped down, yanked him into her arms as he just shook. The whole time he kept chanting over and over again, I couldn't fight her. It had to be the woman whom came to the house. She'd seen Wally face a whole kind of enemies and he'd never seem as scared as he did on that beach. It was as though he was barely holding himself together. She didn't know what to say and that helplessness tore into her like a savage animal, clawing up in the inside of her chest. All she could do was hold him, make something a little easier for him, somehow.
It seemed like an eternity before he pulled away and sat down beside her. "I'm sorry about that. Not how I planned this to go."
She sat on the sand beside him. "Same." After a deep, shuddering breath, she glanced at him. "Who hurt you?"
His gaze darkened. "Her name is Hysteria. She ruled the planet I was trapped on, mercilessly and terrorised everyone. I didn't meet her at first but when I was picked up by the rebels, I suppose it was inevitable. Funny thing was, after everything we'd faced as the team, I didn't get why everyone was so damn scared of Hysteria. How bad could she really be? Hell, the only thing that kept everyone sane was Leia, the leader. Leia seemed to be the only one whom wasn't afraid. You'd like her – she's tough as nails, ready to bring hellfire to her enemies, but kind, too."
He seemed to calm down as he talked about Leia. The warmth in his voice, in his eyes, told her enough. It had to be the woman who came through the portal, the one he held and begged to save. In his panic, it hadn't been her holding him, it had been talking about Leia.
His wife.
"You love her, don't you?" She drew a deep, shaky breath and rested her chin on her knees. "Barry mentioned you were married."
"Artemis-"
"I'm not mad," she cut in. "I'm glad you found happiness Wally, that you found someone."
He was silent for a moment, then looked at her again, searching. "Did you?"
"It's complicated." She didn't want to talk about herself, how she fell apart…all that happened. It made her feel ashamed, angry. Wally had probably felt he couldn't go home, been thrown into a war and had fallen for someone. Deep down, she knew it wouldn't have been easy on him to move on, to even dare to fall for someone else.
"It's okay."
Just two words…a quiet word of forgiveness, for him, for her; five years that hadn't been easy on either. Something rose before both of them, unknown…and Artemis found herself grieving for what she'd lost. The love they'd both had because as she sat there beside him, she loved him…but wasn't in love with him. That neither was he. The starkness of that revelation made her feel cold inside. Wasn't she meant to be crying in such happiness, kissing him? That he was meant to still be loving her, that she was never meant to change her feelings?
"I tried to come home," he whispered. "I couldn't. If I did, it would've destroyed the planet."
"So how-"
He laughed sharply, drawing her quiet. "Hysteria beat us too it. Lucky, we managed to get ships rallied and a lot of people off world. Not everyone, though." His smile sobered. "We couldn't save everyone."
Jesus, the loss of a whole planet. No wonder he hadn't been able to come home, hadn't risked it. It had to have been a bitter blow to lose the planet anyway, to lose so many people. From the look in Wally's eyes, it ate away at him. The time away had taken a piece of him.
"I know you Wally. You would've saved as many as you could. I doubt there was much more you could've done – if you thought you could, if there was any chance at all, you would've done it, regardless of what it cost you." She found herself smiling softly. "That's why I loved you; well, one of them, anyway."
"Loved. Past tense."
She cast him a look, saw that it wasn't judgement or bitterness. A frank look that spoke volumes. Like he need confirmation. Perhaps for his own new marriage, some validation to alleviate a whisper of guilt?
"You were the love of my life Wally and I grieved when you were gone – probably not as healthily as I should've. I had to move on because grieving for you was killing me. I began to realise you wouldn't have wanted me to live like that, so I tried, I really tried to do the best thing. I just never thought it'd be-"
"Will?"
Shock etched her face. "Who?"
"Dick may have mentioned something. Don't be mad at him."
Part of her was. It felt like her admission to make and Dick had taken some of it from her. Still, she swallowed her pride and nodded, acting as though she hadn't, in some small way, been betrayed. It would've been petty to stay mad about it anyway and she couldn't do that, let alone say anything to Wally.
"It's okay." She paused and leant back, sinking her fingers into the soft sand. "I hope she wakes up. I look forward to meeting her, your wife I mean."
Something lit in his eyes – relief, perhaps? "Really?"
She nodded. Behind her, there was a sudden muted bang and she was on her feet in a flash, ready to fight. A portal flashed before them. Wally was at her side, one hand reassuringly on her arm.
"It's okay. It's friends."
As he finished speaking a woman swept from the portal, the other one he'd arrived with. She looked regal, even in a simple black shirt and pants, holding a staff. Her cool gaze studied Artemis with a look that said she knew exactly whom Artemis was; that gaze even seemed warning. As it slid to Wally, it seemed to soften. Wally took a step forward.
"Is Leia okay?"
The woman hesitated for a moment. "Her brain activity has increased and she's showing signs of waking up, like she normally does. The problem is her powers are physically manifesting – like she's also having a nightmare."
Wally stiffened. "That hasn't happened in months."
"Yes, well, it's been a trying few months and everyone's minds are a little frayed. We expected the nightmares to return, given everything that's happened and that Hysteria would be more aggressive in this period. Anyway, we prepared as much as we could but we hoped there would be more time before any symptoms occurred. If anyone can calm her, it's you – you've done it before."
"Yes, but she's been asleep or conscious – not in a coma. I might not reach her."
The woman tilted her head. "Well, we don't have much time."
"Okay, let's go."
He set off to the portal but at it, he turned. "I'm talk to you everyone soon."
Then, in a blur, he was gone and she was alone again.
