Chapter 7
Six months had passed in the blink of an eye at the encampment which Wally didn't know what to name. Home sounded wrong but it wasn't a prison, either. Temporary, he hoped, but as the days crawled by, the word permanent nagged at him. It was a finality that made him uncomfortable, uncertain of what to do if confirmed. He was free to come and go, which he had, and he'd been given an office to study the barrier. It seemed Leia, whom he'd seen only in passing or at a distant (like everyone else, it seemed), had ensured that he had anything he needed to study the barrier was given. With the aid of a tech whiz, Kit, he'd roped into helping, he'd compiled a fair chunk of data and he was only just starting to sift through it. From what he saw, initially, turned his stomach – Leia's words were true. The barrier was linked to the planet in a way he didn't understand, where every time it faltered, destruction followed.
So, he had to figure out the barrier and then see if it was possible to slip through without causing catastrophic damage. Only with that assurance would he go. Not before, as much as it killed him inside. He just wanted to go home, see his family again, hold Artemis – marry her. Yet every time he considered trying to run that fast, just see if he could slip through another crack, he hesitated. What if?
What if?
He leant forward on the desk he'd spent hours bent over, eyes tight and dry, and set his hands on the edge. For a moment, he closed his eyes. It was a question that haunted him every day, kept him up more nights than he'd admit – lured him out on runs across the war-torn lands.
In his own mind he was only vaguely aware of a door hissing open behind him and the smoky smell that nudged his nose.
"Having problems?"
It was Leia, her voice soft, yet steely – the sound of an oncoming storm. It seemed whenever she spoke, power rang in her words, subtle and unmistakeable. He turned and there she was, clad simply in black, her long hair braided over one shoulder. She leant against the door, considering him with concern. It was the closest he'd been to her since the beginning and he didn't know what to think of her arrival. She had to want something, right?
"You would know, wouldn't you?" He asked with a forced smile; normally, humour came easily but, lately, he felt weary, pulled taut.
She smiled but it didn't quite reach her eyes where the concern lingered. "I wanted to give you space and I didn't want you to think I might be stopping your research. I tried to ensure you had whatever you needed."
He nodded and watched carefully as she swept past him, inspecting the display screen for the information. It seemed like there was no need to explain, given how she hummed and softly muttered to herself. Without warning, she cupped her jaw, considering it all for a moment. Then she stepped back.
"Well, it seems Tamara was right."
"Sorry?"
She glanced at him; there was a faint smile on her mouth. "Inside joke. I'll tell you some day." The smile fell, became her usual stoic expression. "I came to ask if you'd like to attend a celebration tonight. It's been noted, after all, that you keep to yourself and my people tend to get curious."
A party. He was being invited to a party, of all things. It was nothing like he'd expected and he felt a joke rise up his chest, along with a smile tugging at his mouth.
"That a threat?"
She snorted and turned back to head to the door; half way across the room, she half turned to him, looking over her shoulder. Again, that look in her eyes, and he wondered what she was thinking.
"I don't make threats. I am the threat. I just figured I should give a friendly warning."
Then she was gone…and he was staring at the space where she'd been standing only moments before.
Leia twisted on the sparring mat, ducked low, and as she surged up, drove her body into Tamara. She grasped the back of Tamara's calves and flipped her over Leia's back. As Tamara hit the ground, Leia spun around and snapped her fingers; a shadowy sword materialised in her hand, the tip lightly pressing at Tamara's throat. Her old friend looked up, bemused, one eye brow lifted.
"Something on your mind?"
Frowning, Leia stepped back. Her sword vanished. "What?"
Tamara wiped the sweat from her brow and slowly got up, wincing. "You're nearly put a sword through my throat."
Leia snorted. "You're fine, aren't you?"
Tamara smiled and walked over to the nearby benches. "I heard Lorca wants to ask you out."
"From the botany department?"
Tamara nodded, her gaze knowing. Whilst Leia had noticed Lorca Fenway finding reasons to come report to her, discuss better options for planting and crop rotations, she hadn't thought he'd had a crush. Looking back, she felt silly but realised she had been distracted. The past six months had been busy and she'd been keeping tabs on the newcomer, whose desire to go home was a potential threat that stirred her demons. They wanted to devour him. The human side of her, which hungered for hope, saw that he wasn't willing to risk lives for his own agenda – her power had confirmed that. That fear of hurting others in his departure. The past six months also assured her, though her demons remained quietly disgruntled at a mind free from their hunger.
"He's not bad looking and he's not a bore," remarked Tamara, nudging her. "It wouldn't hurt to say yes."
Leia glanced at her. "Are you saying I need romance?"
"Well, he isn't engaged to someone in another universe, so he is the better option," she said casually.
Heat flooded Leia's cheeks as she looked away. It seemed even talking or keeping a closer eye on a newcomer meant she was infatuated. Hardly. Besides which, Wally was the least suitable person on the whole bloody planet and there was no sense getting her heart broken over someone like him. A person that would always be looking forward to his planet, passing by. He'd never stay because she knew the second, he was given the chance, he'd go home, which was fair enough. He had a whole life there, people that loved and missed him. She'd never ask him to stay, never even dare.
With a deep, steadying breath she pictured Lorca. He was attractive, around her relatively short height which was nice, and he was kind. It seemed with increasing regularity he was always finding ways to stop by to deliver reports, discuss ways to better grow crops quickly – especially in their changing circumstances.
"So, you'll consider it?" Tamara pushed again.
Leia glanced at her coolly. "I won't say no, if it means you'll stop being so pushy."
"Good. It's about time you were happy."
With a snort, Leia slung her arm over Tamara's shoulders and they walked out of the gym. She froze as she stopped sharply, nearly running straight into the man in question. Lorca's jewel blue eyes widened. Leia opened her mouth to say hello but Tamara muttered about being late, then she was off, striding down the hall, abandoning Leia. She made a mental note to growl at her later.
Lorca shifted on his feet, nervous. "Hey Leia."
"Lorca. Not often I see you around these parts," she mused. "Starting an exercise regime?"
He was lean, like most of the rebels, and his plant work had actually kept him fairly fit. Yet there was something soft about him, gentle and endearing. Perhaps Tamara was right. She'd spent years fighting and the prospect of something less combative was attractive.
"Leia, I…I was wondering if I might. The celebration tonight-"
"Yes."
He nodding rapidly, excited, and there was something endearing about that happiness. Inexplicably, Leia found herself smiling and the warmth spreading across her cheeks.
"Right, well, I'll see you there," he said, nearly bursting with happiness.
She watched as he hurried off, endearing in his excitement, and found herself smiling all the way back to her office.
Music played mutedly through the hall, mixed amongst the threads of conversation that wove amongst the cheerful throngs. Platters of fruit were ferried amongst the groups on a mismatched assortment of platters and boards, scavenged up from multiple runs to the city. Snatches of ordinary lives, caught in the tiny details. Even the twinkling lights strung across the ceiling, lit by Clint's own powers, rather than tapping into their own generators. He'd grumbled, of course, muttering he wasn't a slave or a generator. A smile and a cheeky comment from Tamara had convinced him, though Leia was inclined to believe that if Tamara smiled, Clint would obey anyway.
It seemed Leia wasn't the only one under the sway.
Which was why she sat atop a stack of crates, half hidden, free to watch on. Sometimes people glanced her way but they kept their distance; or, by some chance of movement caught them in her orbit, they said a polite hello, smiled even, thanked her for the party and hurried off to another conversation. She didn't mind, though. It left her free to watch and, truthfully, parties made her edgy. Her demons hissed inside, hungry, feeding on the fear that lingered in the room, faint but there. Fear of being found, of Hysteria. It was delicious. At the same time, it made her angry, protective like a mother, determined to keep everyone in the room safe, even if she had to devour Hysteria herself. If that was even possible.
From the corner of the room she spied Lorca arrive. He'd showered, his hair combed and styled. Even his shirt was clean, free of dirt, ironed. His gaze darted brightly amongst the room and found hers, then he smiled. Leia would've been lying to herself if she said her heart didn't speed up a little. She smiled back but she didn't move to him until he was in front of the boxes. With a smile, she leapt down and hugged him. Her head on his shoulder, turned slightly outwards, she caught a few startled looks her way. No doubt stunned she was showing any hint of affection to someone beside Tamara and Clint; even then, it was different with them, restrained.
She pulled away, smiled. It seemed like the right thing to do. His gaze flickered over her, wide and light, impressed and adoring. Gods, how had she never noticed how he looked at her, like she was made of light, rather than a creature of shadow and fear?
"You look beautiful," he said, full of awe.
There had been a little more effort for the party to look nice. She'd showered, of course, but she'd donned a sleeveless high neck top with a knee length skirt. The scars on her arms, like ribbons and whirls, she didn't mind. The myriad across her chest were another matter, ones she liked hidden, the doorway to her demons.
"You don't look too bad yourself," she said.
The music grew a fraction louder and several couples gathered together in the middle of the room, beginning to dance – or attempt it anyway. The couple, which the party was in honour of, swayed together, heads bent. They stared into each other's eyes, like there was nothing or no one else. She glanced back to Lorca.
"A dance?"
He nodded vigorously; then, he bowed and held out a hand. She took it and followed him nervously out onto the dance floor. In the middle, he drew her into his arms. Neither of them could dance or had any sense of rhythm; still, they swayed here and there under the glow of the strung lights. Glances their way, hushed whispers – nothing cruel or vindictive. Curiosity, really. She'd inadvertently become an enigma to them all, a curiosity of a baffling nature.
It seemed like an eternity in his embrace, peaceful. For that time, she floated in a sea of calm, tethered momentarily. At any second she knew her demons would stir, hiss and eventually, cleave herself from it. Her demons never permitted her to be calm for too long. Something inside of her hungered for it, was reaching for something else. She didn't know what it was, only that when she woke from when of her many nightmares, she was full of yearning. It screamed and raged inside of her, reaching out into the darkness.
Problem was, she didn't know what she was reaching for.
The music ended. Someone, another botanist she realised, approached and wanted to talk to Lorca. He looked embarrassed to be drawn away, as if he was in the wrong.
"It's okay."
That assured him, though his reluctance was endearing. When he slipped away, she wandered to the edge of the room, taking a break against the wall. She watched the room, swathed in shadow, until a figure leant against the wall next to her. A glance over. Wally. He hadn't noticed her; the lighting was dimming, the crowds too close. Everything hid her from him and gave her a chance to study him, to see how he watched the room. He, too, had a gaze full of yearning, barely hidden grief.
Feeling perverse in her examination she shed the shadows from herself. Wally jumped.
"Leia!"
She put her hands up, bemused. "Sorry. I was hiding. Didn't mean to scare you."
"Were you watching me?"
"For a moment. Curiosity, I suppose. Not often I realise how much I have in common with someone."
He studied her. "Oh?"
"We both-"
A hand touched her shoulder. She spun. Eli, one of her scouts. He'd been deep cover on the other side of the planet for months. Before, he'd been bright-eyed and fresh-faced. Now, he had a thick beard and shadows under his eyes. Hells, he looked like she had when she'd dragged herself out of the lab Tamara and she had escaped from.
"Eli, what is it?"
"We have a problem. A big problem."
