"He was trapped in the fire?" Skarloey repeated, looking at his friend's eyes; still screwed shut, marked from the fire.
"Aye- it was very disturbing." Duncan replied.
"So, if you don't mind me asking, old friend, what happened to your eyes?" Skarloey asked gently.
"Some sparks blew into them and burned them. Haven't been able to see since." Duncan answered. Receiving no answer from the old engine, he took this as an invitation to continue his rant, "I don't know how I'm going to explain this to Mr Percival. Sometimes I wonder why we even bother with that engine- he's caused nothing but trouble and misfortune since he came here!"
"DUNCAN!" Skarloey bellowed, suddenly furious at his Scottish companion. "How dare you say that? Luke is our friend and you are his friend! He needs us to survive the hell he's going through on a day to day basis! You can't just break the oath- we swore on it for a reason!"
"Well, that oath has cost me my sight!" Duncan spat disgustedly.
"That's no reason for you to be so horrid!" Skarloey argued, before taking a deep breath, reminding himself that fighting got one nowhere. After all, if the humans could achieve so little using so much violence and cruelty, why should engines attempt to mimic their creators' behaviours?
He tried again, his voice gentler than the last, "I get it, Duncan; you're scared, and you can't see what lies in our future- both in the literal and metaphorical sense. But you must remember; we're in this together. We're not just looking out for Luke… we're looking out for each other, too."
….
Luke had heard everything, and he was distraught, for he knew that Duncan was right- he had brought nothing but trouble since he came to the quarry.
Why, he remembered his near fall off the cliff, getting ill with fever, and knocking Sir Handel off the rails- even if Duncan had taken the blame for that one, as well as being sent away as punishment, it didn't change the fact that Luke had caused his friend to derail.
Though he had been thinking about…. It, for some time now, he had only just realised that, perhaps, he would be better off leaving Sodor, leaving his friends in peace.
But he had no intention of going back to the fertile, green soils of Ireland. His homeland would be in his heart, but never in his intentions.
No… he would leave Sodor… but not by boat.
He planned to end it all… for good.
That way, he decided sadly, his beloved friends wouldn't have to deal with him messing things up or fighting with each other over matters related to his safety.
And so, with the decision to take his life made up, albeit with no plans as to when or how just yet, he emerged from his hiding place and he rolled forwards towards Duncan and Skarloey.
But Skarloey saw him and gasped in horror.
"What are you doing, Luke? The Thin Controller's here!" he hissed.
"I know." Luke replied dejectedly. "I'm not worth the trouble Skarloey. I should just go home, or somewhere far away. In fact, I wish... I wish Duncan had just left me to the flames last night. It would have saved everyone the trouble."
Skarloey was shocked, "Luke, you mustn't think like that! It will get better, I promise." He said, trying to give some comfort to Luke; but it was in vain.
"How can it?" Luke's eyes shimmered with unshed tears. "Face it Skarloey, everything I put you and the others through was all because I won't tell the truth about the yellow engine. I don't want to end it all, but the pain's becoming too unbearable now, and I feel that it's my only way out."
"I'm so sorry Duncan. I didn't want you to get blinded by the fire..." he added, looking to the still blind Scottish engine.
"We're not letting you die- not on our bloody watch, Luke." Skarloey said, bravely. "I know you're hurting, and you just want it to stop. But, Luke, trust me, you don't have to kill yourself for that to happen. We'll help you. We'll talk it through and cry it through. It doesn't matter how long it takes, because what really matters is that we'll all help you Luke, because we care about you, and we don't want you to die."
Luke said nothing; he just burst into tears. He didn't really want to die; he just so desperate to end the pain and the hurt! However, what moved him was that not only was Skarloey willing to acknowledge that he was hurting badly; but that he needed help and support, and that all the other engines would provide that support and love.
…..
Now Duncan felt wretched. He could tell that Luke was heartbroken and in despair, so it was up to him to help in some way; and he had to start by making things right because, deep down, he hadn't meant any of those words he had said at all. He really was glad he saved Luke from the fire, but he didn't want him suffering any thoughts of death and darkness anymore.
"Listen, Luke, I'm really sorry for everything I said before. I didn't mean any of it." Duncan said feeling genuinely apologetic.
"But surely you resent me." Luke answered, in an unusually bitter tone, and with that, he puffed away to the tunnel to hide.
"Oh dear," Skarloey said quietly, watching the young engine chuff away, with a sadness welling up in his boiler.
"What's he upset about? I said I was sorry!" Duncan protested.
"That's no excuse. That was an inexcusably cruel and selfish thing to say, Duncan. None of us want you to be blind, but we would accept that – whether it was permanent or not."
"I don't want him to feel so...so..."
"Suicidal? I appreciate that, Duncan, but Luke wouldn't heal at the blow of a whistle. He's hurting, way more than any of us can fix, and he wants it to stop by killing himself. It's our job to help him through it." Skarloey told him sternly. "The only thing that Luke needs is help coming back from the brink, and he needs all of us to help." He finished. "The ball is in your court, Duncan."
Duncan heard the old engine puff away, and he knew that Skarloey was right- he was being unforgivably selfish; and this behaviour was only pushing the little engine away. Duncan had indeed saved him from the fire, but he felt that if this behaviour kept up, he would lose him forever.
And that scared him into a sombre silence.
