The engines found out, as did Mr. Percival, that although the fire had indeed been deliberately set, using diesel fuel; however, they were having a hard time figuring out who set it, and why; seeing as there was no sign of anything in the tunnel.

The engines had been relieved to hear no one found about Luke; but were still disturbed about the fire-raising, even though the Thin Controller assured them all that the perpetrator would be caught and swiftly punished.

….

Meanwhile, up in the Blue Mountain Quarry, Luke sighed. He hated himself, for not being able to follow through with his suicide attempt. Cedric Owens, a Welsh immigrant and quarry employee, had agreed to help Luke take his life by fire.

However, the little Irish engine found himself unable to follow through, even when Cedric set it when Luke himself was asleep and unable to talk him out of the plan.

This made him realise that he was going to need another, much quicker means of committing suicide- one his friends couldn't save him from doing. He needed a Plan B; and looking up at the Upper Terrace had given him the perfect idea….

….

"Mr. Heron, please don't put my fire out yet!" He begged, as he saw his driver getting ready to extinguish his fire for the night. "I... I need to tell Merrick something important."

"Is it that important?" Richard asked, gruffly. "I don't mean to try and interrupt anything going on between you two; but Geoff and I need our beds. Can't it wait until morning?"

'But tomorrow will be too late.' The little engine thought sadly. He could see that they didn't know what was going on through his mind right now, and he was glad of it- but a little pained at the same time.

"No, sir, I wish it could, but it's deadly important." He wheeshed, his Irish lilt emphasising the word 'deadly'. However, his crew didn't seem to notice; or if they did, they paid it no heed.

Luke loved his crew dearly; he held nothing less than his most esteemed respect for them as his crew and love as two of his closest friends and confidants.

But he had to rely on fooling them for his plan to work.

Mr. Heron wasn't the smartest man in the world; but he was emotionally attuned to people's feelings and was incredibly empathetic in addition to being good humoured. Mr. Wilson was more observant of physical signs than emotional cues; those physical signs included things like language, tone, body language and eye movement, pitch and vocal speed.

Together, they would normally spot the signs and ask Luke what the matter was; but tonight, they were too tired from a long day, and too eager to get to bed to pick up on the signals Luke knew he would be giving off.

"Well, alright, Luke- you can go and talk to him, but make it quick," Sighed Geoffrey.

'That I will do,' Luke thought, but he merely mumbled a thank you aloud to his crew.

He felt his regulator open slowly, and he began making his way towards the tunnel leading to the Upper Terrace. Luke tried to make this journey as meaningful as possible for it would be the last time that he rode these rails.

As he puffed quietly along, he thought of his friends and his home. In his mind, he said the one word he could not bear to say aloud.

'Goodbye,'

...

Once they reached the Upper Terrace, Luke raced towards Blondin Bridge; for it was a critical part of his plan, which he had to get just right in order to kill himself successfully and thus end the anguish of his heart; the demons of his sleep; the tears of his sorrow.

Richard had a niggling feeling in his gut that something was off. He wasn't sure what was going on; but he had a feeling Luke was hiding something from himself and Geoffrey and not letting on. However, he didn't want to say something just yet, for fear of looking paranoid; particularly since Geoffrey himself didn't look too concerned about all this.

"Oh hello, Luke! I wasn't expecting company!" A new voice boomed. "It's a nice surprise for you to come up though!"

Luke nearly burst his water tanks in fright, before recognising the voice. "Merrick? What are you doing awake?" he asked, his frightened expression melting to one of curiosity.

"Well, believe it or not- I couldn't sleep- for a change." Merrick answered, managing a smile at his little friend in the darkness surrounding them "I heard you puffing about up here. Are you feeling lonely?" he asked, his smile suddenly morphing into a concerned expression.

"No- I-I was up here..." But that innocent question was enough for Luke to realise something as he attempted to give a half plausible excuse.

He did feel alone in this hell he was forced to wander through every day, with none of his friends able to really understand what was racing around in his head. He was putting his friends in severe danger of being caught and punished for lying about his presence, and he didn't want to bother them anymore.

Plus, his crew were trying to keep him safe and looked after up here; at the expense of their own health and employment. Mr. Heron in particular had a family, Luke couldn't keep his driver from providing for them. (He didn't even know them, he just didn't want them to suffer because of him, no matter how indirectly.)

"I'm just up here seeing something off." He finished, with a steely resolve in his voice.

"Oh, okay then," Merrick replied uneasily. He wasn't used to Luke sounding so confident- he was always so shy, stuttering away when speaking to his friends. "Are you sure you're okay, Luke? If something's bothering you, we can talk." The crane offered in a gentler tone. "You know you can tell me anything Luke- you're my friend, and I care about you. No matter what it is that's troubling you, I won't judge you for experiencing your feelings."

The little Irish tank engine carefully weighed out both sides of his predicament. Despite him confiding his feelings of depression and hopelessness to his friends, he had never had the courage to admit to anyone- not even Rheneas, Owen or his crew, his closest confidants- that he was feeling suicidal, and he was too scared to admit it, even now.

Yet here he was, ready to throw himself off Blondin Bridge. Luke's eyes suddenly filled with tears, as he glanced into Merrick's kindly eyes.

He… he couldn't do it. He didn't want to die. He didn't want Merrick and Mr. Heron and Mr. Wilson to witness his plunge off the bridge. He found the feelings of self-loathing stir inside him again; he knew it.

He was too weak to end his life.

"Hey, hey, easy little guy," Merrick said softly, sounding alarmed. "I'm sorry- was it something I said?"

"No- nothing like that, my friend." Luke breathed painfully. "It's just- it's just- I'm so, so sorry, Merrick, but I was going to derail myself off Blondin Bridge…"

Shock bloomed on the crane's face, and he thanked the lucky stars that he had had insomnia this night; lest he might have woken up to find a tragic sight on the ground the next morning.

"You what?!" Asked Richard and Geoffrey, who were suddenly standing in front of their locomotive, with unreadable expressions evident on their faces. Luke gulped fearfully. What would they say now?

"Luke, old boy, why didn't you tell us?" asked Geoffrey in concern, reaching over to pat Luke's cheek with a paternal affection.

"I just felt that killing myself was the only way to end it all, sir," Whispered Luke in reply, shame creeping up on his face. The light from his lamp illuminated dirty, thin, long streaks down his face. "I'm so sorry- I didn't intend to hurt either of you. But I just… I just want this all to end… so… so much…" his voice crumbled, and he felt fresh tears leave his eyes and stream down his face.

"Bloody hell!" Richard suddenly swore, a foot flying towards the rail. "How could we not have seen this coming!?" The clang from the contact between his boot and the track caused him to curse again. Luke whimpered and wished he could suddenly shrink into himself and disappear into thin air.

"Calm down, mate- our Luke's just scared and upset, not to mention in a great deal of pain." Geoffrey reminded his colleague sensibly. "I can see why you're upset, but our engine needs us, and what sort of friends would we be if we turn our backs on him now?" he

"What sort of a friend is he- tricking us into helping him commit suicide? He lied to us, Geoff, and kept how he felt from us, instead of telling us he wanted to end his life!" Richard shouted furiously, punching the air with his fists in gesticulation of his wrath.

"Mr. Wilson, please, I'm so sorry for the way I treated you both!" Luke begged. "I know what I did was wrong, but you would have stopped me from following through with it- and I didn't want anyone to stop me! I've only failed to follow through with it because Merrick wanted to help me without judging me for how I feel!"

But Richard merely stormed off in a stony silence, leaving Geoffrey, Merrick and Luke behind.

"Don't worry, Luke- I'm sure he'll forgive you once he sees things from your perspective." Geoffrey assured, patting Luke's buffer gently. "Though, that was uncalled for, saying that to you like that. I don't agree with what you did to us, Luke. But at least I can understand why you did it."

But poor Luke was now convinced that he had ruined a long-time friendship with Mr. Wilson now, and he began sobbing quietly and miserably with only Merrick, Mr. Heron and God as his witnesses to his ever-mounting pain.

The three remained like this until dawn, unable and unwilling to leave the situation they were in.