Geoffrey and Luke waited with bated breath; whilst Richard rubbed his neck awkwardly, looking at his scruffy work boots, black instead of brown.
Peter Sam didn't move either- he just smiled at his cousin's fireman encouragingly, giving Richard courage, and he stepped forward.
"Listen, I…I'm not proud of what I did or said last night. I am still angry that you felt you couldn't come to us, Luke, but I shouldn't have left you when you're going through a hard time like this…"
"I'm so sorry, Mr Wilson, sir. I really am." Luke whispered miserably- his voice still raspy from illness. "I didn't want to trick you last night, but I felt that ending my life would end the pain I'm in."
"Hey, I'm sorry too, old boy. I know you need help more than ever, and I promise you, Luke, I'm not leaving you again." He promised, and he was instantly rewarded with a smile from his little engine. "And Luke, please don't think that suicide is your only option, because it isn't. You can come to Geoff or me, or anyone else here. But Luke- please don't keep your feelings bottled up again. Merrick's insomnia that night...it was a God send, to say the least. We don't want to lose you, Luke."
…
Despite Mr. Wilson finally patching things up again, Luke fell into a bout of depression; which made him feel exhausted, melancholy and very irritable; up to the point where he refused to talk to anyone and got snappy if anyone dared. Of course, Skarloey and Peter Sam tried- but they had to go back to work. The others were still working.
"Luke?" Rheneas asked, as his brother and their friend chuffed away to carry on with their duties, leaving the two little engines alone.
"What, Rheneas?" Luke snapped in annoyance. "Leave me alone!" But the harsh tone in which he spoke caused him to cough rapidly.
"No, Luke. At least talk to me- I can see you're suffering, my friend. But please, it will be better for you to talk about it." Luke remained silent, encouraging the older engine to continue- this time in softer tones,
"What led you to come to this decision?"
"I... don't know if I want to talk about it- right now, that is." The Wren explained with a wince, sounding calmer and remorseful for his snappish attitude.
"Okay. I don't want to force you, Luke. Though you should try to talk about it when you feel you can." Rheneas answered. Secretly, however, he feared that Luke might need more help than what he and the others could give him- this sort of matter was way out of their vast expertise. He had no problem actually getting Luke that help if that was what was needed; however, they had to balance this decision with the need to protect the secrecy of Luke's presence in the Quarry at all costs.
"... Rheneas?"
"Yes, Luke?" Asked Rheneas, who was startled out of his thoughts by his young friend's worried tone.
"Would I ever get rid of this desire to commit suicide?" he asked, timidly- and hearing that statement broke the old engine's heart. Luke of all engines had most definitely not deserved this hell he was going through on a day to day basis- no matter what the little Irish engine said to the contrary.
"You will one day, Luke, but it will take a while. You need to open up when you can- if you don't it could be too late. Please- it could really make a difference." Pleaded Rheneas. Hearing that whispered 'okay' was all that Gallant Old Engine needed to feel a warm wave of relief wash over him. "But no matter what happens, we'll be here, okay?" The old engine reassured.
"Thank you, Rheneas."
"You're welcome, Luke."
"...Rheneas? Weren't you meant to-?"
"Oi- get back to shunting, Rheneas! If you think you can shirk on your duties, you've got another think coming, boyo!" An extremely annoyed Skarloey bellowed, beating Luke to it.
Rheneas muttered 'drat!' under his breath and grinned ruefully. "I wasn't deliberately trying to miss out on work just to see you, Luke- I am genuinely worried about you." He said.
But Luke couldn't help chuckling. It wasn't a hearty chuckle, and his breath still sounded wheezy due to him still being slightly sick, but hearing it still warmed the old engine's smokebox. "I thought you were shirking to preserve your paintwork.
"Too late for that, I think," Chuckled Rheneas, and this made Luke giggle. "Well, I better get on with it, then, before I get lectured by Big Bother… oops, I meant Big Brother." He winked at his young friend before flashing an innocent, yet cheeky smile at Skarloey. "I'll see you later, Luke." He added
"See you later, Rheneas- try not to skive too much." The green tank engine teased.
Rheneas just laughed before whistling goodbye to Luke as he headed off to shunt his trucks. Luke watched him depart, feeling a little bit better than before; but still more than a little daunted at the journey that lay ahead for him.
...
I hope you enjoyed the newest chapter! I hope I did okay Luke's feelings in this- writing suicide is not my forte, but I've been researching to try and avoid writing inaccuracies.
