Kara skids to a halt a few feet away from Alex in the dingy alleyway leading to the bar. It smells like trash and she's pretty sure nobody cleaned the puke behind the dumpsters since she saw a scaled individual throwing up there at least three weeks ago. Her sister is casually leaning against her own bike, looking at her phone, the light smile on her face contrasting quite funnily with the way her nose crooks at the smell.
"You're late," she says, looking up from the phone. "Wait," she adds with a frown, "is that Lucy's bike ?"
"It is," Kara says, taking her helmet off and absentmindedly ruffling her hair. "I dropped Lena off to work."
"Lena as in your neighbour Lena Luthor ?" Alex asks in a way that spells trouble. "Doesn't she has an army of driver and fancy cars ?"
"It was her driver's day off," Kara replies with what she wills to be a casual shrug, hating the way her words sound more like an unsure question than an irrefutable statement. "She slept over and we hanged around a bit this morning. I didn't want her to be late."
"She slept over ? Did I missed some crucial part of your life ?"
"Sinclair snapped. Lena didn't feel safe so I offered for her to stay over for the night."
"Well, this went from zero to gay very fast," Alex says with an annoying teasing smile.
"She just needed help and I was around."
"Alright," Alex says picking up on Kara's wish for the conversation to be other, "just be careful, okay ?"
"I'm always careful," Kara mumbles, not really putting in the effort to reassure her sister because she knows she's being anything but careful.
Grateful that, for the time being, Alex isn't going to pester her more about Lena, Kara slips past her and sets her mind to the present task, buying drugs. She spares a second to pray to Rao that Eliza never, ever, finds out about this.
"What do you think you're doing ?" Alex calls after her, uselessly grabbing her by the elbow to stop her course towards the door.
"Um, walking ?" Kara questions, shrugging at the obviousness of her action.
"Give me your glasses ?" Alex says abruptly.
"What ?"
"Give me your glasses. You can't come in here looking like Kara Danvers and I can't secretly investigate looking like myself. So, give me your glasses."
Tentatively, Kara slips her glasses off her face and hands them to her sister who all but slams them onto her own face. Begrudgingly, she has to admit the disguise is quite effective. Breezing past her, Alex buries her hands deep in the pockets of her leather jacket and mumbles the password to the door, leaving Kara to hurriedly trail after her.
Kara never goes to the bar during the day and it takes her a moment to recognise the place with actual light streaming through the half boarded windows. Speckles of dust dance in the sunlight everywhere she sets her eyes on, giving the room an almost magical look. The place isn't as packed as it is during the night but more than a dozen aliens still tread around, some already drinking, some using the old computers to apply to jobs, some others doing nothing in a way that is suspicious only because she's looking for it.
Their usual bartender isn't here and it's only when she notices her absence that Kara realises their plan is built on misshapen foundations ; if the telepath had been here, they would have had zero chance at discretion. M'gann doesn't make a habit of reading people's mind, but she almost always pick up stray thoughts from her friends when they first walk into a room. Alex Danvers in glasses wouldn't have fooled her, and she's seen Kara without them before.
The bartender, a bright orange woman whose hair seem to be made of flames, barely raises her head at their arrival, but Alex nudges her towards the counter nonetheless in what she seems to think is an inconspicuous way. They're admittedly not very good at this. Kara orders a vodka soda that will do nothing to her, and Alex a jack and coke that will most definitely alter her judgement.
"What now ?" Kara asks after several minutes of watching Alex swirl her drink in her glass.
"We wait."
"We wait ? Can't we just walk up to someone and ask ?"
"And say what ? 'Hello I want to buy drugs ?' That's ridiculous."
Kara shrugs. "Well that was kind of the plan to begin with."
"We can't just ask anyone. We have to observe, and pick the right person. And when we do that, we're not even sure they'll have what we want for sale."
"I'm not sure I thought this through," Kara says, deflating on her seat. "What are we even supposed to ask for ? A drug that makes you smile creepily then melts your brain ? That's weird."
"Well," Alex says with a crooked smile that's meant to be reassuring, "we've had better plans, sure, but this is our only option, so we'll have to make do with it." She takes a sip of her drink, grimacing at the taste and setting the glass down with a bit more strength that necessary. "This is disgusting."
"This is literally the same drink you order every time."
"Yeah well M'gann makes it better," Alex bites back, her voice rising enough to draw the attention of the fiery bartender.
"Sshh, don't talk so loud, she looks like she could murder us with her hair."
"You're invulnerable," Alex grumbles looking at her drink like it's the thing she wants to murder.
"You're not," Kara states like a warning.
They stay silent for a while, their mostly untouched drinks warming in their hands. Alex is periodically glancing around the room with mock disinterest and Kara takes to people watching. Out of the two of them, she isn't sure who is the least discreet.
She averts her eyes from a couple of youngish looking individuals making out in the corner and starts reading the job application of an alien with long pointed ears, using her telescopic vision to look over their shoulder. It's full of mistakes and she's considering walking over to help when Alex elbows her in the ribs and then hisses in pain. "Over there," she whisper-shouts pointing to a small gathering.
"Is that Brian ?" Kara asks at a normal volume noticing the bright blue alien in an ill fitting suit. "I thought he had a new job."
"There's something in his hand. Can you see what it is ?"
Brian is standing on the other side of the room, directly opposing them and half hidden by chairs stacked on top of a table. He's talking to the only two humans in the bar apart from Alex. Kara concentrates, zooming in on his hand and hoping that she doesn't find what they're looking for in it. She really doesn't want for it to be him, but the couple of iridescent pills in his hand are too similar to the one that got stolen from the DEO for them to be anything else.
"It looks like what we're looking for," she says turning to Alex. "What should we do ?"
Not bothering with words, Alex is already standing up, leaving her drink behind with no regret.
"Oh alright. We're doing that," Kara mumbles, catching up in a blur just before Alex stops right in Brian's personal space.
"I'm going to need to ask you to step away," she says to the two humans before turning to the alien.
"And may I ask who the fuck you are ?" Brian asks not backing down but with the smallest hint of fear in his eyes. When Alex rips off the glasses from her face, he takes a full step back. "Oh. Hi Agent Danvers, what can I do for you today ?"
"Hand over the pills and every other drugs you have on you," she says firmly while extending her fake FBI badge in the general direction of the humans.
"I needed money," Brian says, taking another step back and bumping into the wall.
"I don't care about that. This is a matter of public security, hand over all your drugs."
"And we might be nice to you," Kara adds, not wavering under Alex's glare when she briefly turns to look at her.
"Do you know what these are for ?" Alex asks, turning back to Brian and snagging the pills out of his extended hand.
"I don't. I swear I don't," he says hurriedly, the tremor in his voice making it hard to understand him. "I just needed money. Money ! They don't tell me what it is. Only to give the first one free and then to increase the price. I get fi-five percent."
"Who are they ?"
"I don't know. I only, I only meet with the intermediaries once a week."
"Alright," Alex says, shoving a card into his trembling hand. "Next time you meet with them you call me beforehand and you might not be in too much trouble. If you don't call me, you'll never see the sun again."
"I will," Brian says, raising his hands and trying to back further into the wall. "I'll call you. I promise I will."
"Go."
She doesn't need to say it twice, Brian is out the door before neither Kara nor Alex can notice that his two customers are casually following him.
"Where are the…?" Alex starts, looking around while she pockets the pills. "Shit. Kara can you…?"
Kara is blocking the door before she has the time to finish her question, it's too late though, and there's nothing either of them can do about the creepy smiles adorning the users' faces.
"You're telling me," J'onn says sternly, "that you improvised a stake out in a dive bar, disguised yourselves poorly, threatened a civilian, let said civilian go when he proved to be a drug dealer, all to bring back a couple of pills and two drug users ? And you didn't think of telling me beforehand ?"
Pills still clutched in her hand, Alex is standing straight, shoulders tensed back and feet firmly planted on the ground. She seems to be taking the scolding in stride, but Kara knows she isn't as unbothered as she's pretending to be. To be fair, J'onn can probably see it too, he knows his Earth daughter even if he still has to be her boss.
"Consultant Zor-El," he says turning to Kara, "this isn't in your contract. If you want to get more involved in the DEO's current affairs, we'll have to draft a new one. Agent Danvers, next time you want to do something stupid, warn me first."
"Yes, sir."
"That being said," he adds, the hint of a smile brightening up his serious face, "well done. We're back to square one which isn't much but is still better than where we were last night."
"Is there anything lower than square one ?" Brainy's voice sounds behind them, not low enough to be cataloged as a whisper but Kara still gives him a bonus point for trying.
"It's a human saying," Nia replies in a true whisper, her words swishing out of her mouth to slither into Kara's attuned ears.
"Humans are weird," Brainy comments offhandedly. "No offence," he adds, his body shifting behind Kara, presumably to turn to Nia.
"None taken. I'm half and half, I get quirks from two species."
"You are a fascinating being."
"Um, thank you ?"
Kara chuckles, which gets her an elbow from Alex, and regretfully tunes out of a conversation that isn't hers.
"Our best course of action," J'onn says when Kara gives him her full attention again, "is to analyse the pills to get a clearer look at what they're made of which could help determined their effect. Dr Veritas is also going to get blood samples which should help us too. If only so we can know our guests chances of survival. Did they look like first time buyers ?"
"I'm not sure," Kara replies, truthfully having not payed much attention in the first place.
"They seemed to at least know what they were doing," Alex chimes in sourly, "where to look, who to ask. So either it's the best drug ever and word is spreading fast, which isn't good. Or it's not their first taste, and they'll be dead soon, which isn't good either."
"These are valid conclusions," J'onn says, his strong brow creased in thoughts, "but we should wait before we assume the worst. We lost all our data on this..."
"... not that there were much to begin with," Alex mumbles.
J'onn shoots her a soft warning look. "And we need to work from the ground up if we want to find something," he finishes. "Now, until we have something, you're all dismissed."
"Well, see," Brainy says as everybody starts walking away, "we do have something."
"What is it Agent Dox ?"
"I took the liberty of linking myself to the mainframe, which I shouldn't do because it's giving me a headache…"
"Can computers get headaches ?" Alex whispers to Kara.
Kara only shrugs, dismissing Alex's question in favour of listening to Brainy. If something is truly happening, then she might not have to get back to her actual job today, which would be a real bonus.
"… and our monitoring system is telling me one of our 'guest' just woke up."
A sharp cry coming from the med bay punctuates his sentence. It's desperate, hopeless, and seeps inside of Kara like iced cold water.
"Please. Let me go back. I want to go back. Please !"
The distraught screams unsettles her so much that, later that day, Kara finds herself sitting at her desk at CatCo with no recollection as to how she got here. They didn't manage to calm the man down and he kept crying, asking after his wife ; his wife who according to public records has been dead for five years. Dr Veritas ended up having to sedate him, but even in his sleep, tears were still streaming down his face.
Kara doesn't quite understand why this one is sticking with her, why she feels for him and not for the ones who are already dead. His blood test revealed that, unlike his friend, it probably was his first taste of this drug, and she wonders what pushed him to take it, and what happened while he was under its influence. What he saw, where his mind went, what's so important about experiencing this again.
More than anything, she wishes she could help, she wishes her alienness could be useful to this situation ; she's always been able to help her sister and the DEO before, on her hardest days it makes her presence on Earth seem less pointless. If she can help, however discreet it might be, then there's a reason she's alive.
There was a time when she thought she'd be like Kal one day, helping in every possible way ; helping out in the open. Then she lost Jeremiah, and she made herself human ; humanish. She outgrew her ceremonial tunic, and now her house crest is on a cheap Superman t-shirt she wears under her shirts. Most days it's okay, but from time to time, it's not.
On the blank page, the cursor blinks back at her in an infuriating continuous pattern. She pitched an article on the effect of the Alien Amnesty Act on aliens employment ; Snapper got her working on the cost of the special summer meal plan of the retirement home. She thought about just writing her article and then presenting him with it ; more doing, less asking. But she can't afford to come off as aggressive and so like most days when it comes to Snapper, she shut up, and made herself scarce. He's in his office right now, yelling at someone else about some other things ; it's not a nice thought, but it's always a relief when he's mad at someone who isn't her. He disliked her long before her so called "lesbian drama", but James leaving seemingly because of her did nothing to improve his opinion of her, and some days, like today, she's on the verge of quitting, an inch away from burning her journalism dreams to go sell ice cream or books. She never does, but she entertains the thought nonetheless, wondering if writing pointless articles with no chance of advancement really is worth suffering Snapper's wrath. Though if she were to really quit, she has no doubt that Cat Grant would drag her back in by her tie.
The blank page is trying to hypnotise her, she can feel it chipping away at her mind and sucking away her will to live. She turns off the computer without bothering with backing it up and slips out of the office almost unnoticed. Only Nia looks up when she walks past her shooting her a questioning look that she deflects with a shrug. She makes her way home with her head down, artfully avoiding shoulders bump, and doesn't stop walking until she reaches the roof. Only then with her feet dangling over the edge does she feel less pressured, less crushed by the world around. With her view unobstructed by the other low buildings of the block, it's easier to breathe and she revels in the soft feeling of the sun on her skin.
When Lena joins her some three hours later, she hasn't moved an inch.
"I thought I might find you here," she says, slightly out of breath from climbing the stairs, her flushed cheeks brightening her green eyes. One of them is slightly bluer than the other, Kara notices when she briefly turns around to acknowledge her presence with a smile and a wave. She lingers at the top of the stairs for a moment, shifting her weight from one foot to the other, her eyes never leaving Kara's back. Eventually, she pads closer, crossing the small distance that separates them and sitting next to her, closer than the last time they found themselves here. Their respective body warmth seeps in the air between them, wrapping them in an invisible space that is theirs only.
Lena asks her about her day. Probably, Kara doesn't really hear the words that comes out of her mouth, only registers her tone, kind and open ; but it seems like an appropriate question to fill in the easy silence.
"It was good," she replies, mostly out of habit, and a bit because she isn't sure her answer actually matches the question.
"You're not a very good liar you know."
Kara turns to look at her surprised by her words, and the sharp analysis that they denote when they haven't known each other long enough for Lena to know that Kara indeed is a bad liar.
"I'm sorry," she adds hastily, her expression morphing into one of horror as she scrambles to apologise. "I shouldn't pry."
"It's okay," Kara says softly, a smile slipping on her face despite her bad mood. "You're right, I didn't have a very good day. But I'm okay know."
"Snapper ?" Lena questions cautiously.
Kara shrugs, knowing full well that the extent of her poor day can't be shared. "Amongst other things," she says, averting her eyes to gaze upon the skyline. "How was yours ?"
"Better than I thought it would be. Honestly, spending time with you this morning really helped with that."
Her words are leaden with hesitancy ; even as she shares them, she's trying to reel them back, to keep them for herself so that Kara's reaction cannot harm them.
They hover in the air for a moment before Kara catches them, her own words a promise to keep them safe. "This hour with you was the best part of my day."
Lena beams so hard that she seems surprised by it ; and it's exactly the kind of smile Kara needed to see today.
Lena doesn't reply anything to that, and her smile slowly disappears in favour of its opposite, her face morphing under the weight of doubt and something akin to dejection. And so Kara prompts her again, asking one more time about her day, trying her best to showcase her real interest in hearing about it. When Lena starts dancing around a secret project of hers, stumbling over her words to say a lot without revealing too much, her heart does somersaults of success.
She comes alive with her words, her body leaning forward in excitement, to the extent that Kara considers putting her arm in front her several times in fear that she'll fall off the edge. She talks about the private lab she had built at LCorp, close enough to her employees to be in the heat of the action, but still secluded so she can work in secret. Her current project is a long term one, something she's been working on since college and which development would be a major step in breaching the gap between human and alien technologies. It's almost like Kara has heard of it before ; in fact she's sure of it.
"Are you talking about your prosthetic ?" she asks, eagerly cutting Lena in the middle of a sentence. "I'm sorry if you didn't want anybody to know about this but I've read your thesis and it's amazing to know you're still working on your prototype."
"You've read my thesis ?" Lena whispers, dumbfounded, her enthusiastic hands stilling mid air before falling back to her lap. "Nobody's read my thesis apart from my research director, not even my best friend."
"Of course I've read it. And my adoptive mother did too. It's online, free, and the subject is fascinating."
"The prototype was wonky."
"It was still more than anybody had ever achieved. And your research helped with creating life and planet saving mixed technologies. You're amazing ! I still think about your miniaturised solar powered engines."
"Actually, I'm working on making it self sufficient by using kinetic energy only."
"It would be revolutionary."
"It would," Lena admits, one of her eyebrows arching smugly.
The more she talks about her work, the more confident she appears, her assured tone paired with her somewhat ruffled work attire making her all the more alluring. Kara knows she's staring, but she cannot bring herself to care, even when Lena catches her red-handed, her own eyes peering into her soul for longer than the both of them can bring themselves to admit.
Lena, Kara realises then, is a person of layers, and one of them has been peeled back in front of her very eyes. Her cautiousness falls aways to reveal passion and confidence. Away from Veronica Sinclair's battering, she reveals herself to be the sun, not the moon. It's not to say that Kara thinks her shyness is an act, her hesitancy a masquerade, but there is something more below. Lena Luthor contains multitudes, and Kara hopes she'll have the privilege to know all of her. She almost voices it, almost lets slip premature words that may never see the light of day ; but a heavy rain drops falls on her nose, causing her to squint and lose her focus on Lena. It's followed by another, and another, and soon enough, the sky is pouring down on them.
"I bought a new lock," Lena shouts over the rain as they scramble off the edge and to the stairs. "Do you still have time to change it ?"
Kara nods without looking at her, both of their shirts are clinging to their skins and acknowledging it might be too much for her poor gay heart.
The air in the hallway is uncannily warm and damp, weighed down by the rain they brought back from outside, crowded by their breathing. Kara can feel Lena's eyes following her every move, burning holes in her back, glaring at her arms ; when she turns to ask for a screwdriver, she's fixated on the tendons of her neck. She doesn't know what to make of it. Well, she knows what she wants to do, she understands very well what her base instincts are saying ; but she doesn't know what Lena wants, doesn't know if she's even aware that she's staring with brimming hunger in her eyes. Her gaze feels nice, but Kara is once bitten twice shy and so she won't act on it until all of the signals, and then some, turn to green. Lena is fresh out of a break up, just relieved from a toxic relationship, and Kara isn't about to throw herself at her even though right now, in the heat of the corridor, she looks like she wants to eat her. She's taken off her shirt which on second thoughts might have been a bad idea because her Superman t-shirt is a bit tight around her biceps and these have been known to be her better feature ; the strength she's holding back as she fixes the door makes them quiver in what she's aware is a very attractive way.
Lena passes her a smaller screwdriver to help her insert the new deadbolt and it occurs to Kara that she's an engineer, and could probably have changed her lock herself. She doesn't mention it though. Instead, she puts back the doorknob, securing it with the other screwdriver she stored in her back pocket ; behind her, Lena chokes. Kara gets up, brushes off the wood shaving on her pants and shakes off the dust in her hair ; she doesn't bite back her smile, she can indulge now and beat herself up later. "Here you go," she says, reaching out to drop the new keys in Lena's hand.
What Lena does next is unexpected enough that it's Kara's turn to choke, beaten at her own game. Lena blinks, clearing off her daze, and smoothly slides one key off the ring to hand it back. "You should have one, as my neighbour, in case there's a problem." Her fingers linger on Kara's hand for a beat longer than is appropriate, and her smirk makes it clear that it's deliberate.
Kara has half a mind to grab said fingers and keep them linked to hers ; there are dozens of reason why she shouldn't, but she's teetering on the edge of doing it anyway. A forgotten heartbeat reaches her.
Hurried steps rattle the stairs.
A lone figure dressed in black and with hair plastered to her face appears on the landing.
"Sam ?" Kara whispers, startled by the apparition, her hand sliding out from under Lena's, the key loosely caught between two fingers. "Samantha Arias ?"
A vibrant smile stretches on Lena's face. "You know Sam ? She's my best..."
"What are you doing here ?" Kara cuts, her words seething out with barely restrained hatred.
Lena's smile falls, her eyes flickering between Kara's suddenly tensed body and Sam still as a statue. Her presence is the only thing that keeps Kara from launching herself at the intruder's throat.
