"I'm an alien."

Lena's brain grits to a halt. In no universe are these words a logical follow up to the rest of their conversation, yet they fit, and ring true. Little moments, memories, oddities, flash in front of her eyes, assembling themselves like puzzle pieces. The fact that Kara doesn't sweat. How smart she is. That time she grabbed a boiling pan with her bare hands. How she looks at the stars like they're her home. It makes sense.

Kara grows restless before her. She takes off her glasses, promptly puts them back on, tries to fit her hands in the too small pockets of her borrowed sweatpants, crosses her arms, then lets them hang limply at her side. It occurs to Lena that she might want to say something, something warm and reassuring, something that screams 'you're amazing anyway' and 'thank you for trusting me' ; instead she opens her mouth to string a couple of idiotic words that make her want to smack her head until her genius brain reboots. "Oh okay. Do you want some tea ?"

Kara turns to stone, her hands stopping mid fidgeting, her pointer fingers half an inch from each other in an almost comical gesture. Only her eyes move, flickering across Lena's face like she's the one who just confessed to being an alien. She feels compelled to check if she didn't suddenly grow a second head.

"I'm an alien," Kara repeats, her hands completing their jerky journey towards each other.

"I heard you the first time darling," Lena says, a soft smile stretching on her face. Slowly, she moves towards Kara, reaching out until she can touch her suspended fingers. She pries them apart, Kara resisting only for a second, and wraps one of her hands between her own. "I suppose you know about Sam ?" she asks.

Kara nods, her head moving almost mechanically. "I do."

"Then you know I don't mind that you're an alien. Honestly, I thought you were a secret agent, so I'm relieved."

"To be completely honest," Kara mumbles, looking down at her feet, "I also am sort of a secret agent."

Lena hears the words, can process that they came out of Kara's mouth and that therefore she must have said them ; their meaning however, doesn't register at all. She understands them separately, alien, secret, and agent ; and in some combination or another, secret and alien, alien and agent. But together, secret agent who's also an alien, they make no sense at all. Or they do make sense, a lot of it, and it's too much for Lena. Because of course Kara would be an otherworldly creature with a dangerous job ; nothing is ever easy in Lena's life.

"I'm sorry for springing this on you," Kara says, her voice coming like a rumble to Lena's ears. "I've tried to find a better way, but I couldn't make my words work right." She smiles, a bit hesitantly. She's still Kara. "I can go if you want. Give you space. I know it's a lot to take in."

This sparks fury in Lena. There is no way in hell she's letting Kara leave know. "Stay," she says, the single syllable throwing itself out of her mouth fast and harsh. "I want to know all of you," she adds, crafting softer words. "Or all you're allowed to share at least. I'll sign all the NDAs you want."

Kara chuckles, tugging on Lena's hand with a silent question until they softly collide against one another, their bodies moulding around each other like they were made to do so. "I'm sure J'onn will send some your way," she says after laying a kiss on Lena's head. "For the agent thing, and for the alien stuff. I trust you, but as far as most people know, I'm human."

"You're not...?" Lena starts, recognition flaring at the back of her mind.

"Registered ?" Kara finishes for her, prompting a nod. "No I'm not. It's a long story."

"Tell me about it ?"

"When I was a child, my planet was dying. I was sent to Earth to protect my cousin, but my pod got knocked off-course, and by the time I got here, my cousin had already grown up. So, I hid my powers, made myself human. To most people, I am a reporter for the National City Tribune, but in secret I work for the D.E.O. to protect my city from extranormal threats and anyone else that means to cause it harm. My name is Kara Zor-El, I'm from Krypton, and my cousin is Superman."

Kara pauses for a moment, glancing at Lena with hesitancy. She's hugging her mug to her chest in a heartbreaking gesture Lena has done herself so many times. Carefully, she switches position on the couch, prying the scalding tea out of Kara's hands to replace the mug with her human living body. Kara welcomes the change, shuffling to adjust before she wraps her arms around her and holds her like she's afraid she could burst to flame and disappear like Krypton.

Krypton. Lena understands everything so much better now. The heartbreak over Sam. The anger at Sam. The forlorn looks at the stars. Kara's strength, her gentleness, is fuelled by her brokenness, by her cracks, carefully patched and full of love. With a couple of sentences, words put next to other words, everything changes and nothing changes at all. It's still Kara, shaded in a new light, sure, but it's still Kara. Doors open left right and center with opportunities for Lena to really, truly, get to know her, and she wants to take in everything at the same time.

"Even by kryptonian standards, I was a special child, gifted would be the word you'd use on this planet. I basically grew up in my father's lab, not just learning, but understanding scientific concepts that are beyond humanity's wildest dreams. I was going to be the youngest person to make the Science Guild ever." She stops, chuckling wetly, and takes off her glasses to wipe a couple of tears. "When I wasn't in the lab, my mother would take me to court with her, and she taught me all about justice, fairness and forgiveness. Kryptonians, my people, were just and tranquil. We'd had our dark times of course, decades of revolutions and blood baths to get there, but by the time I was born, we were at peace, we were balanced. And when I got to Earth, I was so angry, and I didn't knew what to do about it because I couldn't even work it out like on Krypton. All of my sparring partners had exploded decades ago and everything I so much as brushed against would instantly crumble."

Her hands flex, turning into dangerous steel. Against her better judgement, Lena, frail human, lays her owns against them, soothing the frustration out of Kara with a gentle touch.

"Kal, Superman, left me with the Danvers, and I understand it now, he was young, but I didn't then." She sighs, and lifts Lena's hand to kiss it. She keeps it there, against her lips, breathing slowly like she's drawing strength from Lena's skin to keep going. "I was mad with grief, lost, alone. I couldn't understand the world around me, barely understood the language, and I had all these powers which were nothing but dangerous. I couldn't look at thing without seeing through them. Could hear for miles and miles but couldn't concentrate on a simple conversation. And I looked weird too, short hair, baggy clothes because everything else felt terrible on my skin. I didn't see how I could fit in, how this could ever be my home. When I realised that like Kal I could fly, I… I guess you know what's coming."

"I think I do yes," Lena whispers, her heart dropping to the bottom of her stomach because she does know, she does remember that not so long ago, aliens weren't exactly welcomed, that they tended to disappear in, mysterious, circumstances. "They found you didn't they ?"

"They did," Kara replies in a whisper, letting implications hang in the air for a second before she clears her throat and goes on. "Government agents came to our house in the middle of the night, stormed it more precisely. I was in my pyjamas. I remember that because they were my favourites, from the 'boy's' section and with little spaceships on them. And, hum, they wanted to take me in, of course, they had power dampening handcuffs that would have been way too big for my wrists. Jeremiah offered himself up instead. He knew about my biology and Kal's and he made a trade. He left with them, in his pyjamas. We only saw him a handful of time after that. He would always be away on various missions. He missed Alex's birthday, and then he didn't come home at all. He died because of me."

"He..."

"Don't," Kara cuts gently. "Others have tried before you, but I can't not blame myself for his death. I was reckless, and I may not have killed him, but I triggered the events that lead to his death. That's how things are."

"Okay." And Lena wants to fight her on this, she does. She wants to remind her that she wasn't the one who pulled the trigger or whatever it was that killed her foster father, but she also knows that it's not what Kara needs right now.

"From then on, I hid my powers, and who I really was. It was unspoken, Eliza would never have asked me to do so, and Alex wasn't talking to me at all, but that's what I did. I became a regular human. A regular human girl. I've only breached my secret twice. I told Sam, and I told Lucy. Everybody else found out either by accident or was told by someone else." Kara straightens up, lifting Lena with her in a casual and intimate show of strength that warms her all over. Once she's managed to reach her cup of tea, she settles them both back on the couch, wiggling to get comfortable until their bodies turn into one. "We're going to fast forward now if that's okay."

"Of course it's okay," Lena whispers, a bit unsure of why Kara would even take her opinion in consideration when she's already doing so much by opening up like that.

"After high school, I moved to National City with Alex. She'd been living with Sam there, they were raising Ruby together, but when, when they left, she came back to Midvale for a while. She followed me to university but she wasn't doing much better. She was drunk most of the time, nearly dropped out a couple of times, I think there was even a good chunk of time when she didn't go to class at all. And then she did a complete 180°. Dropped all of her psych classes, went into xenobiology with a side of engineering, and got a six pack. I was happy for her so I didn't really question it."

"I suppose you should have ?"

Kara laughs, low, and deep ; and it causes a joyous earthquake in Lena's body above hers. It's a funny sensation, shaking from someone else's laughter, and it makes Lena feel so, so close to her. "Rao yes I should have questioned it. One day, she came home covered in blood. And I mean really covered, drenched from head to toes, it was disgusting. Turns out she's been recruited by the D.E.O. and they were paying for her education while she was training to become an agent. I couldn't stop thinking about this. Not because I was worried about her, well I was, but I'd been for a long time and it was actually a relief to know she could take care of herself. I couldn't stop thinking about how I might be able to help too. Eventually, I sat down with Alex and her boss, the Martian from earlier and…"

"Wait," Lena interrupts, almost choking on air, "the D.E.O.'s boss is an alien ? God Lex would lose his shit."

"He's a shapeshifter, so most of the time he looks human, but yes, the director of the D.E.O. is an alien. Which helped a lot because he managed to pinpoint exactly what I was trying to explain. I wanted to help, a part of me even wanted to be like Kal, I wanted to be Supergirl."

Lena echoes the word, letting it roll off her tongue. Supergirl.

"But I was afraid, so so afraid because if alien haters had learned that Superman had family, it would have put a huge target on everybody close to me. I had already lost Jeremiah, and, and I couldn't handle more. We came to the conclusion that if I wanted to help, it'd have to be privately. I'm an external consultant, I help in any capacity when nobody else can. I rarely go out on the field, but I do have an extensive training in several human and alien martial arts."

"That's impressive," Lena says, clearing her throat surreptitiously when she realises her voice is much much lower than she intended. She blinks forcefully, trying to get rid off the mental image of Kara sparing in tactical gear. She now knows Kara can hear her heart, and the fact that they both established their mutual attraction doesn't make it any less embarrassing.

"I started working with the D.E.O. when your, when Lex Luthor was leading his campaign against aliens." Lena's heart drop at the mention of her brother, his name washing over her like ice cold water. She knew it was coming, of course ; there probably isn't even one story about aliens and governmental agencies that doesn't somehow involve her brother. Kara runs a soothing hand down her side and keeps talking. "At first he was all bark and no bites, but then he started coming after my cousin, harder and harder each time. He even tracked down his pod to the crash site and was going to bomb his hometown."

"I didn't know that…"

"You couldn't have," Kara cuts quickly, the scowl that must be gracing her face making it all the way to her words. "After he fell, hatred towards aliens subsided a bit, at least it's punished now. But when the Alien Amnesty Act was voted, I didn't even consider it. I have a life as Kara Danvers, a good one, and I can't put everyone in danger just because I'm Superman's cousin. I don't like it, but it protects my family. I've lost all of my family on Krypton, I couldn't bear losing the one I've built on Earth too." She stops, sniffles and chuckles sombrely, but the tightness of her embrace prevents Lena from contorting to look at her face. "So that's it I guess. Except from the current mess which relates to a drug going around the city. It traps you in your fantasy world, is highly lethal and it's what Alex took. Please don't take it. Do you have any questions ?"

"Hum…"

Lena tries to make her brain work, she really does. But she's never reacted well to info dumping, and currently, her mind is overloading with informations that she doesn't have time to sort and much less process.

"I'm sorry. That's a lot to take in."

"How old are you exactly ?" Lena blurts out, grabbing the first thought she can make sense of and throwing it out in the world. "Sam and Superman were babies when they left Krypton, right ? But you weren't. How are you not a grandma ?"

"I'm 27."

"That doesn't check out. Sam is 29 and Superman is 35 I think ? Didn't he say that in an interview once ?"

Kara inhales sharply, her breath catching in her throat in a way that makes Lena regrets her prying. "We all crashed on Earth at different times."

"How is that possible ?"

"We believe that Kal's pod is the one that took the most direct path. Sam and I both got caught in a place in space where time doesn't pass. It's called the Phantom Zone. She was stuck for six Earth years and I stayed there for roughly twenty."

"Sam never told me about that…"

"She was a baby, it didn't have much of an impact on her. But I, I, somedays it's all I can think about. It's kind of like hypersleep, except you don't dream in hypersleep, and in the Phantom Zone, dreams were all I had."

"How did you got out ?" Lena asks carefully. She wants to understand the extent of Kara's trauma, and the string of event that lead her down here, to her. But she also can feel her repressing shivers and wants more that anything, to shield her strong body from these memories. With no regrets, she catches herself wishing that Krypton had never exploded, they would have never met, but Kara would still be whole.

"I have no idea. One moment I was in space in a tiny pod on life support, and the next I was on Earth, alone, and confused as to how I'd survived the landing. Everything I'd studied in class was telling me I should be dead, and here I was, alive and in the middle of nowhere. I thought I was dreaming. I thought this was the conclusion of a very shitty nightmare and I was going to wake up at home, safe. I thought it was just a bad dream and if I could shake out of it I could go join my parents in bed and sleep for five more minutes before my morning lessons."

"But it wasn't just a bad dream."

"It wasn't."

Kara sighs, but it's a peculiar sigh, not quite one of weariness. It breaches more on the side of quiet acceptation, almost resignation. Lena realises then that though she's just learned about all of this, though this information is raw and painful to her, Kara has had years to get used to it. The deep ache she feels for Kara is new and terrible, but to Kara, it's everyday life.

"I'm lucky though," Kara continues, a small smile seeping into her voice, "I'm alive, I have a family here, Eliza, Alex, I have friends. I have you, if that's still something you want."

"Of course it's something I want," Lena says softly. "I'd sign all the NDAs in the world for you. I'm sad." She pauses, mulling over her words for half a second, speeding her thought process when she feels Kara's heart accelerate beneath her. "No not sad, that's not the right word... Heartbroken maybe." She stops again, squeezing one of Kara's hand in her own and lifting it to deposit a gentle kiss in its palm. With the way her heart painfully contracts in her chest as she pictures a smaller version of Kara watching her whole world disappear, heartbroken does seem to be the right word. "Heartbroken by all you've been through. But it doesn't mean I like you any less. I'm amazed by your strength, your resilience. You're wonderful, and I want to be with you."

"Even with all my baggage ?" Kara asks in a small voice that reminds Lena so much of herself that all she wants to do is to wrap the both of them in a blanket forever.

"I'm not an alien, but I've got baggage too," Lena answers softly, "and it didn't seem to stop you from pursuing me. Actually, you've been better for me than anyone before."

Kara hums lowly, the beginning of a laugh reverberating from her body to Lena's. "So I've pursued you ?"

"You've seduced me with your handsome ways," Lena mumbles, her cheeks growing hot under the effect of the blush that is no doubt spreading on them. "And you asked me out."

"You kissed me first," Kara points out deviously, her teasing smile breaking the kiss she's trying to lay on the hollow of Lena's throat.

"You've got a point," Lena croaks, arching to give Kara better access to her sensitive skin. "But someone had to make a move, you're too much of a gentlewoman for that."

"Am I ?" Kara hums.

"I tried to make out with you and you stopped me to ask me on a date."

"Point taken. Will you go on another date with me ?"

"I will. As long as it doesn't involve my mother, I'll go anywhere with you."

"To the moon then ?" Kara asks in a surprisingly serious manner.

Lena springs up, untangling herself from Kara's pliable arms and shifting until she can look at her. "Is that an option ?"

"Well I have a spaceship," Kara replies monotonously, shrugging like her offer isn't completely wild and out of the realm of possibilities for anyone else.

"To the moon then," Lena dares to reply, thrumming with the knowledge that Kara could indeed take her to the moon if she wanted to. With little thoughts, she leans forward with the intention of capturing her lips ; her momentum however, is cut short by an all powerful yawn.

"How about I take you to bed first," Kara says with a short laugh. "To sleep," she adds hastily, her eyes widening comically at her slip up. "If that's okay."

"Will you stay with me ?" Lena asks, exhaustion catching up with her and weighting her body down.

"That was my intention."

Swiftly, like she doesn't weight more than a feather, Kara lifts her up, and cradles her in her arms. "Thank you," she whispers against her hair, "thank you."