One Hand on the Wheel


Leipzig/Halle Airport, 2016

Bucky wasn't sure of a lot, but he did know Natalya. He expected the new hairstyle. He expected her support of Stark. Hell, he even understood her reasoning – keep one hand on the wheel. For someone who hadn't had any hand on the wheel driving his own life for the past few decades, he could see the appeal. He also knew it wouldn't last. The Black Widow would position herself to maintain as much knowledge and power as possible. Then, she'd turn at the drop of a hat, the moment it suited her.

He wasn't even surprised when she looked past the distraction of the fight and intercepted him and Steve at the hangar. She couldn't surprise him anymore – until she did.

"You're not going to stop," she said, unsurprised by Steve's conviction.

"You know I can't."

"Ugh," she groaned, readying her Widow's Bite. "I'm going to regret this."

That was Bucky's first surprise. The Widow he'd known in Russia didn't apologize for doing her job, not even on the rare nights when she'd broken down in his arms and he'd pretended not to hear her whispered treason. She never dropped her mask around the enemy.

Then, she turned a few degrees and fired her weapon at T'Challa. All Bucky could do was stare.

"Go," Natalya told Steve, and the Winter Soldier snapped back into the moment.

He didn't have time for bewilderment. One foot in front of the other. Follow Steve. Get away.

She couldn't hold him off forever.

He didn't stop moving until he and Steve were safely in the air.

"What the hell was that?" he couldn't help asking.

Steve gave him one of those looks, the ones that said half I'm-still-trying-to-figure-out-exactly-who-you-are and half haha-don't-worry-I-totally-know-what-I'm-doing-it's-all-under-control. There was something almost said in his eyes as he said simply, "A good friend."

Bucky shook his head automatically.

"You don't get it, I know her. I thought…I thought she was the one thing I could rely on."

Steve wrinkled up his eyebrows, his face falling into a familiar expression of confusion.

"I think she just proved back there that we can count on her."

"Not like that. Nevermind."

They had bigger problems to worry about, after all. But, of course, Steve wouldn't let it go.

It took some prying, but finally, Bucky admitted, "We knew each other in Russia, and I just thought I knew how she worked. It's nothing, just…When you don't know what's up or down anymore, it's nice to think there's a constant, something you can expect."

"And, you didn't expect her to help us," Steve said.

Silence was all the answer he needed.

"Why not?"

"Why would she?" Bucky countered.

Steve gave him the bastard half-brother of the look from earlier, one that was a hundred percent I-know-more-about-you-than-you-know-about-yourself.

"Maybe you should tell me," Steve said with a smug amusement that Bucky considered entirely inappropriate under the circumstances.

"Maybe I don't know anymore."

It must have come off a little more pathetic than he'd intended because Steve sobered immediately, and the sad puppy-dog eyes were back.

"Maybe I assumed too much," Steve said, shrugging. A little confidence returned to his tone as he said, "She's a good person. Probably just didn't want to see me and Tony fighting."

Bucky swallowed a lump in his throat and did his best to keep his tone even.

"Yeah. Must be."

He looked out the window in silence, then. Steve inspired loyalty; he, of all people, got that. And, he remembered enough of their more recent interactions to guess that Natalya had felt some kind of responsibility to pull him back to the land of the living. But, he didn't see why she'd give up her own advantage to help them escape a problem she'd had no hand in making.

The Black Widow wasn't known for making emotional decisions. But, there was no logical benefit to what she'd just done. Apparently, he and Steve were just worth it to her.

He wished he could guess why beyond a half-remembered past that shouldn't mean anything to her anymore or the vague possibility that she owed Steve some kind of debt.

He'd been willing to ignore their past as long as she didn't bring it up, just focus on figuring out who he was without worrying about how someone else fit into it. Those memories would always be a sort of saving grace, of course, but he hadn't expected her to share his attachment to them. After all, she wasn't as familiar with losing them as he was.

Still, it might be worth talking about someday, if they both survived long enough and ran into each other again and had time to worry about it without an immediate crisis. It was no big deal, he reasoned. Just a way to understand what had happened today and know what to expect in the future. He didn't like surprises.


So, ambushing T'Challa while Steve and James absconded hadn't exactly been her plan. But, she had to admit, there could have been worse outcomes. Nobody had died, at least. She'd take it.

Now, for the consequences.

"I said I'd help you find him, not catch him…There's a difference."

The Black Panther took off his mask as the fight shifted from physical to verbal.

"Why?" he demanded.

Natasha shrugged, keeping her voice light, though her eyes were sharp with intensity.

"Let's just say Russians don't take kindly to monarchy. And an exile like me isn't going to argue with Captain America."

The king's eyes narrowed, and Natasha got the distinct impression he saw through a fair amount of her bullshit. She wondered if he was thinking about the red star on James's arm, then decided she shouldn't wait to find out.

"Look, it's not like I was sitting around waiting for a chance to stab you in the back. This isn't how I wanted today to go, either."

"Yet, here we are."

"Here we are," she agreed, setting her jaw and preparing for a fight.

T'Challa settled his weight in response but didn't move quite yet. Instead, he stared her down as if trying to discern something.

"You're not going to protest that he didn't kill my father?"

His voice was filled with skepticism, begging her to spin a story he could disbelieve.

"If I thought you'd believe me, I might," she said dryly.

Her voice clearly implied her belief that the Winter Soldier had been framed, just as it hid the possibility that it didn't matter to her one way or the other. For the first time, T'Challa looked unsure.

"Was he worth it, Agent Romanoff?"

"Absolutely."

The Black Panther nodded. He looked almost ready to believe her. But, Natasha knew that wouldn't stop him from handing her over to Ross.

Everyone's alive, she told herself. This is a win.

Unfortunately, she'd never found her lies quite as believable as everyone else did.