This is a nightmare. There's no way in hell that this isn't a nightmare. There's no way her girlfriend is standing in front of her covered in blood and Lena is going to wake up in her bed, safe, and she'll call Kara and they'll have a nice breakfast together. She lifts her hand with the firm intention of hitting herself awake but Kara stops her and the sharp pressure around her wrist is definitely real. She is awake. She is awake and her girlfriend is bleeding in front of her and something bad happened.
Something bad enough that they need to get out of here in the middle of the night.
She feels the beginning of panic turning over in her stomach as iced fear spreads through her veins. She knows she needs to stay level headed, that she needs to call Alex and maybe find something to stop the bleeding ; but her vision starts to blur and fear paralyses her and she just can't breathe.
"We need to get to the DEO," Kara says, her warm blood coated hand tugging on her arm. "There was another attack, close to our building. It's not safe for you here."
"Your arm..."
"Alex will know what to do. We need to leave. Now."
Lena wills herself to focus on Kara and only Kara, pushing away her panic to deal with it later. It works, moderately. Kara is hurt, and if she doesn't do something, she might bleed out ; Lena needs to be focused, there's no time for panic.
"I'm sorry," Kara says suddenly. "I'm going to have to carry you. Hold on tight."
The world blurs again, not from panic, but from inhuman speed, and seconds later, Lena finds herself in the middle of the DEO, under too harsh lights and facing too bright monitors. She empties her stomach on Kara's bare feet.
There's no way in hell that this isn't a nightmare.
"Don't worry. It happened to me the first few times too. Apparently, the human brain isn't made to handle super speed."
With a shaky hand, Lena accepts the glass of water from Kelly and gulps it down in one go. "I threw up on my girlfriend," she whispers, "I threw up on my girlfriend in front of everyone."
"They've seen worse, these people deal with human and alien body fluids on a daily basis. You wouldn't believe half of the things Alex tells me," Kelly shrugs matter-of-factly. "You can take a shower, and I'll go grab you something from the DEO's most glamorous collection."
Lena turns around, psyching herself up to take a shower in a shared locker room. She just hopes she can find a clean stall in which nobody has showered yet today.
"And, um," Kelly stammers before Lena can evaporate from this embarrassing conversation, "if you need to talk to someone, if you need a friend, I'm here. Or I can get you a referral if you want to see a professional."
"I. Thank you."
Lena doesn't say much else. She's trying very hard to extract herself from this situation with the intention of avoiding all contact, from humans and aliens alike, for at least the next half hour. Thankfully, Kelly picks up on her mood and slips out of the room with a warm encouraging smile. Lena really wants to be alone right now, but she still finds herself thinking that she wouldn't mind being friends with her.
The shower, and clean, almost sterile, environment do a good job of clearing her mind. Under the scalding water and the harsh neon lights it's easier for her to think rationally, to focus on one thought at a time. Whatever happened to Kara's arm, Alex can probably handle it. Kara is safe with her sister, and in turn, Lena is safe with Kara. As for Sam, if it is indeed her, she'll deal with it no sooner than she has to. There is nothing, in her present state and with her present knowledge, that she can do to help. It's a hard thought to acknowledge, but once she has, once the hot water has drilled it into her, she feels better.
Kelly holds true to her promise and a stack of clothes is waiting for Lena when she gets out of the shower. Dark heather grey sweatpants and a sweatshirt sporting the DEO logo, a sport bra that is miraculously her size, and for some reason, Superman branded boxer briefs. The clothes are warm, like someone took the care of laying them on a heater first, and surprisingly comfortable. She feels a thousand time better ; all she needs now, is to find Kara.
She doesn't have to look very far ; Kara is leaning on the wall outside of the locker room, clad in her own set of DEO issued sweats and fiddling with the hem of her sweater. "How are you feeling ?" she asks as soon as she catches sight of Lena. She looks and sounds truly embarrassed, and an apologetic smile accompanies her statement. Standing on the tip of her toes, Lena wipes it off with a kiss.
"Better now," she mumbles, her words muffled by the crook of Kara's neck.
"I'm sorry about the flying. I should have let you know it has slight side effects."
"Slight side effects ?" Lena repeats, forcing indignation on her features as she pulls back of the embrace. "I threw up on you !"
"It's okay," Kara says, tugging lightly until Lena complies and lets herself be wrapped up in her arms again.
"Is it ?" she asks, her words barely audible from where her mouth is buried against Kara's shoulder.
"I'm the one who got covered with puke, I get to decide if it's okay or not."
Kara punctuates her sentence with a soft kiss on top of her head. It gives enough finality to her words that Lena doesn't bother with arguing. Plus, she doesn't really want to argue, she's way too comfortable where she is now to risk it. She snuggles closer, wrapping her arms around Kara who effortlessly lifts her off the ground so she's resting fully on her even though they're still standing. As she adjusts her grip around her however, Lena's hand come resting on Kara's right arm, and she doesn't find what she's looking for. No bandage, no cast, nothing. Bending a bit so she can look at Kara, she manages to shake off the comfortable warmth enough to ask a question. "Did Alex fix your arm ?"
"Yeah," Kara says, glancing down with a weary smile. "We have yellow sun lamps here. They boost my system. I'm all good."
She shrugs to demonstrate, shaking Lena up and down in the process in a careless enough manner for her to realise there's something there. "Did this ever happen before ?" she asks carefully.
"A couple of times on my first few weeks on Earth. I used to have bad nightmares. Kal worked with Jeremiah on a sun lamp prototype so I wouldn't scar too badly. It's one of the only times I saw him."
"And you had a nightmare again tonight ?"
"Yeah," Kara sighs, "I think that Worldkiller thing twisted me up."
"Do you want to talk about it ?" Lena prompts softly.
She herself doesn't like talking about her nightmares, it makes them too real, gives them more power to cling to her tired mind, but maybe Kara is different, maybe she needs to exorcise her fears. And if she doesn't, Lena can at least be there for her.
"I don't really remember it. Just that it was painful. I think someone was hurting me."
"How do you feel ?"
"I'm okay," Kara shrugs, poorly deflecting the question.
"Really ?"
Pushing might not be the right solution but Lena feels the need to do it anyway. She's much too accustomed to ignoring her own problems to let Kara do the same.
"Alright." Kara chuckles and smiles affectionately, something akin to what Lena dares to perceive as love shining in her eyes. "I'm not feeling very good. I've been doing better. But I have too much on my plate to deal with it now. I do promise though, that if it still bothers me when we're done finding Sa-the vigilante, I'll talk to you. I'm not shutting you out, but I need to focus on something else right now."
"Okay," Lena breathes out, slightly relieved. "I trust that you'll make the right decision."
"Thank you."
Kara kisses the top of her head again, her warm lips pressing against her scalp in what is quickly becoming Lena's favourite gesture of affection.
"You were going to say Sam, right ?" she asks after a short moment of silent comfort. "You think it's her too ?"
Kara shakes her head, her chin rubbing on Lena's hair. "I don't know. But Alex scanned her apartment, there's only one heat signature there, and it's not hers."
Lena's guts twist uncomfortably, and when seconds ago, she was as safe as can be, Kara's arms now feel too warm against her own cold skin.
The room is tense, tenser maybe than any room Lena has ever found herself in ; and that's counting the multiple board meetings surrounding the near collapse of former Luthor Corp. Everybody, including herself, is forcefully trying to remain calm, and it shows. Kara's blue friend, who introduced himself to Lena as Querl Dox but insists on being called Brainy, is sitting with his eyes closed in what is meant to be a display of intense focus but might also indicate that he really wants to take a nap. His cheeks are flushed purple, and though he's hiding it mostly well, he looks in pain, his brow furrowed, his lips taut. Dreamer, who may or may not be his girlfriend, Lena isn't sure if they are both aware of that fact, is standing behind his chair, starring at the monitors and periodically tapping her fingers against her thigh. Alex and Director J'onzz seem engaged in a staring contest, but the way the Martian nods and sometimes strings a couple of words makes Lena wonder if he isn't reading Alex's mind and answering to her thoughts. Kelly is sitting on the desk, her eyes casually wandering around. Out of all of them, she looks the calmest, but Lena is aware enough of her own tells to be able to pick up others, and the way her foot is twitching nervously is a quite good indicator of her true state of mind. Kara is standing ramrod straight next to Lena, her hand featherlight on her shoulder, but her body full of restrained and destructive energy.
"Can you maybe vocalise your conclusions ?" she asks after a while, any trace of tension remarkably absent from her voice though her words certainly are on the aggressive side of things.
"We were just running through potential plans and outcomes based on what we know," Director J'onzz says in his deep soothing voice. He sounds like Lena's dream grandfather, and if he were any less physically threatening, she could see herself going out for ice cream with him, or to the library, checking out books from the kids' section and reading for hours on plushy armchairs.
"Maybe I can be included in that ? You know, the search for an out of control pseudo vigilante who may or may not be a Kryptonian ? Seeing as I'm the only Kryptonian available right now ?"
"There are civilians with us Consultant Zor-El, we can't discuss these matters aloud in front of them," Director J'onzz points out.
It would have been a clever and quite right thing to say if, Lena wants to say, Kelly and herself hadn't already been involved deeper than intended by any of them.
In the time it takes her to formulate that thought, Kelly beats her to it. "With all due respect J'onn, Lena and I are already involved in this. You are potentially looking for the mother of my fiancée's daughter, who happens to be Lena's best friend. Lena who is one of the smartest person in National City, if not the world. She can help. I can still leave the room if it makes you comfortable, but she can help."
Lena ducks her head, trying not to blush at such a high praise coming from someone she barely knows. She's used to flattery, to an extent, but this sounds genuine, and it's slightly unsettling.
"Alright," Director J'onzz says after a couple of short seconds during which he seems to hold an entire silent conversation with Alex. "Agent Danvers, please get everyone up to speed."
"So Sam isn't home," Alex says in a flat, cold, almost frightening voice, "we have a team surrounding her building in case she comes back and is indeed who we are looking for. But I don't want to wake Ruby unless it's absolutely necessary." She stops, her eyes flickering across faces as she looks for emotional support. Lena isn't sure she can even begin to comprehend what she must be feeling right now. "We lost trace of our target in the maaldorian neighbourhood. The vigilante applied the same code, the children and presumably innocent adults have been spared. All the others are dead. That's all we have. We've been trying to narrow down where she, where they," Alex swallows roughly, her words forming around the hope that it might not be Sam, "could pop up next, but considering our own clues pointed to Maaldoria, we're stuck."
"We could track Sam's radiation signature," Kara says, squaring her shoulders and stepping away from Lena so she can join Alex and face everyone. "Match it up with what we have on this killer."
"We don't have Sam's signature. And since we don't know where she is..."
"But we can pick something up from satellite imagery, right ? We must have those for the attacks."
"That is a quite good idea," Brainy says without opening his eyes. "We can recover our vigilante's radiation signature, follow it and see who it leads to. Your friend Sam, or someone else."
"How long will it take us to get that data Agent Dox ?" Director J'onzz asks his question quietly, and apart from a slight furrow of his brow, he's composed, calm. Lena wonders if this is always who he is to them, a lighthouse in the storm, a promise of peace and safety in the mayhem that seems to be Kara and her friends' life.
"Well I am not operating at a 100%," Brainy says, abruptly straightening up and leaving his chair in an almost robotic way, "but I still am a twelfth level intellect and will be able cross-analyse everything in no more than three minutes."
"Don't overwork yourself Brainy."
"There's no need to worry about me Nia Nal. You however, should rest, take it easy, we will most certainly need your expertise later."
"You know I still can't make sense of what I saw, I don't see the point of slaving over it." Dreamer mumbles, just high enough for Lena to pick it up. It's not of much use though, because she doesn't understand any of this.
"You've had a dream that you can't interpret ?" Director J'onzz asks, his obvious concern grinding against his reassuring voice. "Why didn't you tell me ?"
"It's not in any books, and Maeve still refuses to talk to me. I've had this dream seven times in the past few weeks and it's terrifying. What if I've gone dream-blind ? What if I can't interpret anything ever again ? I'd be completely useless."
"What did you see ?" Kara's soothing voice is competing with Director J'onzz's. She steps forward calmly, reaching out to lay a hand on Dreamer's forearm. "I may not have precognition, and can't help on that front, but it might help to share it with us. If you want to."
"It's a child," Dreamer starts, her voice a bit wobbly, "I see a child, strapped to a metal table. They're missing limbs, and half their face. There's a blinking green light. And the kid, they're, they're asking for their dad."
Lena catches movement on the corner of her eye, and she looks away from Dreamer to find Kara wincing and rubbing her neck ; she looks disturbed by what she's hearing. Lena can feel her own lips pulling down and is sure her face is a perfect match to Kara's expression.
"It doesn't evolve, never," Dreamer continues, "it seems so fixed in time that I'm not sure we can save this child."
"I..." All of their voices mix to produce one unique sound of heartbroken bewilderment. Lena barely knows Dreamer, Nia, but she needs to help, it's visceral.
"Director J'onzz," Brainy says, his voice covering everyone, "I have something, well two somethings. I have a ten feet radius in terms of accuracy but..."
He looks up from his tablet, his eyes scanning the room until they stop on Kara. A thought begins to form in Lena's head, it fizzle to life, wrapping itself around everything no matter how hard she tries to squash it.
"...they are in this room and…"
