Chapter 5

"Where have you been?" Dorcas grinned, looking up from her book as the drenched Lyra slipped back into the dorm with a secret smile. "I thought you were going to work out!"

"I was," Lyra protested, "I just ran into Mason, we… hung out, I guess."

Dorcas raised an eyebrow slowly and closed the book, laying it down on the table. "No one else is in here, so spill. All the details, Miss."

"He was in a bad mood, I found him beating the shit out of one of the punching bags," she explained, stripping down quickly to get into warm and dry pyjamas. "I suggested my old trick of finding somewhere outside and screaming it all out rather than damaging himself more – did you see all his cuts? What is he doing?"

Dorcas knew full well what Mason was doing and why he was so angry, but she shook her head and feigned ignorance. "Haven't got a clue. Maybe he's just doing Auror stuff too?"

Lyra huffed, "Well he should be more careful, the idiot. Anyway, we went outside to go and scream and let off all his steam except by the time we got out there, he said he didn't even need to anymore, he was okay. Typical, right? And then the storm hit and – and it was beautiful. I wanted to stay outside, so he stayed too."

"Hence why you're soaking wet? I heard the rain and was very glad to be warm and safe inside, thank you very much. You're crazy!"

"That's what he said," she snorted, but then her expression grew serious. "Dorcas, you have to promise me you won't repeat this – or say I told you so."

Dorcas' eyes widened with excitement. "I promise."

"I wanted to kiss him, Doe, and I nearly did. And… I think he wanted to too," she whispered. "It feels so ridiculous, admitting that I like him, saying it out loud feels even worse than thinking it to myself but I think I'd go mad if I didn't tell you. I ruined the moment because I'm an idiot but I think if I hadn't…"

Dorcas let out a very loud, very high-pitched squeal and leapt up to hug Lyra tightly, ignoring the fact that she was still damp. Lyra laughed loudly as Dorcas swung her around and planted a kiss on her forehead. "Oh you adorable little marshmallow! I love you! And I'm so glad you told me!"

"Dorcas, I mean it, you won't say anything will you?" Lyra begged but she was waved off.

"Of course not! Oh God, I'm so excited! You have no idea! We can make sure you look incredible tomorrow and he won't be able to resist you for long!"

"I shouldn't encourage it, Doe, there's no way it's allowed! He's an instructor! It's like… a student-teacher relationship!" Lyra hissed, shaking her head.

"That's kinda hot, though? I mean with him, not like a student-teacher thing, that's a creepy imbalance of power, but it's not the same here! He's an instructor, not a teacher! And barely older than you! And anyway, in a few weeks you're an intern and that's basically a full Auror, there's no issues then!"

Lyra gave her a look as she pulled her pyjamas on and towelled off her hair. As much as she loved Dorcas, she wished she wasn't trying to get her to do something that would only cause them trouble. "None then, but there certainly are now. I don't even know if he likes me like that, it was a weird situation, maybe I read it wrong!"

"Ly, you are one of the most intuitive people I know. You know you didn't read it wrong!"

Lyra just muttered to herself and draped the towel over the back of her chair, starting to remove the makeup that had somehow survived the rainstorm. She couldn't get the image of him out of her head, or the knowledge that when she'd opened her eyes he'd been right there, close enough to see every individual eyelash and the flecks in his eyes. She wanted to be alone with him again soon, but even though her pulse quickened at the thought, she felt like it would end very badly – for both of them.

"Lyra, come on, you know you didn't!"

"No, but him wanting to kiss me doesn't mean he feels the same way about me! You can want to kiss someone but not like them like that, you know you can," she sighed.

Dorcas just rolled her eyes but realised she would get nothing more from her friend tonight. "Then we'll just give it some time. I've been around him longer, I'll be able to tell, you'll see. But whatever happens, you need to look great tomorrow so he can see what he should've kissed tonight."

Lyra snorted and rolled her eyes back at her friend, rubbing in her moisturiser before she slid into bed. "Leave me alone, I'm going to go to bed now and daydream about kissing him."

"Oh I bet he's great."

"Dream Lyra would find out quicker if you left me alone," she smirked, closing her eyes.

Dorcas cackled with laughter but picked her book back up, watching her fondly. "Sure, honey. Sweet dreams."


Lyra,

Not going to lie, the letter surprised me too. I just figured with you at training it was the best way to talk to you.

He told me you'd been disowned and I'm sorry. It's shit that it has to be this way, but I'm proud of you and I'm sorry I got mad that you didn't do it earlier. I know it was different for you but I never really understood that. You cope by just living the way you want to and giving it time. It sucked hard for a long time but I found a new family, and that helped a lot.

I do know Dorcas, actually. She's a laugh. Never pegged her as your sort of person but I guess I don't really know what sort of a person you are these days (that's my attempt at an apology, does it count?)

The blonde girl? Do you mean Marlene? That's a fun topic and by fun I mean super awful and confusing and emotional which I don't do well. Maybe best discussed in person?

Mason mentioned that there's a family day thing coming up, if you'd want me there maybe I could come and we could get that coffee. I can explain better there, I'm not good with words.

I missed you too, L.

Love, S


Sirius,

I would love you there. I think you've got six years of big brother hugs to catch up on.

Love, Lyra x


Lyra had received another note from Moody but since the last meeting she no longer lived in complete fear of him and read the message with a smile. After the display of her own magic in the duel against Mason, Moody had decided he wanted to test her control of wandless magic too. That was great, that was super news. What wasn't so great was that Moody had asked Mason to do it, as Moody himself was apparently very busy.

Now she wasn't stupid, Mason was a talented Auror and would be able to do the assessment just as well as Moody would've done, but it meant being in a room alone with Mason, and they hadn't been alone – or even really spoken – since the night of the storm. She didn't know if he'd been avoiding her deliberately or if he was just busy but the impending meeting was making her far more nervous than she should be.

Dorcas had, of course, insisted she looked nice and her nimble fingers had braided Lyra's curls back off her face and yanked a nicer jumper over her head than the baggy ones Lyra normally owned (aka stole from Dorcas). It had been futile to point out that they were only meeting up to test her magic and not to further their relationship so she'd headed down to the smaller practise room feeling more dressed up than she had in a while and feeling panicked about the impending conversation.

"Hey," Mason said happily, looking up from the bag of assorted objects as the door opened and he saw her appear.

"Hi," she smiled back, shutting the door behind her and fiddling with her plaits for something to do with her hands. She was praying that it wasn't awkward but she wasn't confident in that with the way his eyes lingered on her as she walked over. Hoping that she hadn't managed to mess everything up with him and that her feelings weren't too plain in her expression, she leaned her hands on the table and licked her lips.

"What do we have to do today then?"

Mason took a deep breath and glanced back down at the list of things Moody wanted to test so he didn't have to look at her for too long. He'd been hoping that she hadn't clocked on to his feelings for her, but the storm seemed to have ruined all of that and now he was just confused – there had been something in her eyes that night, something that mirrored his own, but that couldn't be right because there was no way he'd managed to stumble so easily on someone who felt the same as he did. He cleared his throat loudly and smiled, his muscles taut.

"Moody gave me a list, mostly it's just testing the limits of your control and whether what you can do is defined by spells or whether it's more natural than that. The wand is a Western European invention, after all, and it might just be that the way you see and experience magic is more 'Eastern', so to speak. Most African wizards don't use a wand at all except for more complex spells."

"The Uagadou students don't use wands, right?" Lyra smiled, remembering the fact from a History of Magic lesson.

"Correct, full marks," he joked, forcibly letting the tension in his shoulders go. "What do you know for definite you can do without your wand?"

Lyra pulled a face, "I'm not sure. I've not used it for a while. I know I'm good at moving things."

"Like a gym bag?" Mason said, the corner of his mouth twitching at the memory of Edgar being laid out by the flying bag.

She laughed quietly. "Like a gym bag, yes. Less of an accio and more just controlling its path, I guess."

"Okay, we can start with that," he smiled, ticking off the few things on the list that it lined up with. "If you hand over your wand so there's no temptation and then we'll give it a go."

Lyra pulled out her beech wood wand reluctantly and laid it on the table in front of him. She was pretty attached to it, as she'd had it since she was eleven and first went to Ollivander's. Her parents had wanted her to change it several times, feeling that she had outgrown it, but no other wand spoke to her and in the end Ollivander had convinced her parents that it would be best to let her keep it.

"Beech wood? Nice," Mason grinned, "My mum's really into the wand stuff so I kind of know what all the woods mean and stuff."

"You do? Isn't that pretty secretive?" Lyra said, surprised. She'd never really been curious enough to find out, she just knew that she liked hers and that was enough for her.

"Nah you can find some old books on it, and she'd always ask Ollivander questions when we went in to get our wands," Mason smiled. "Beech wood lends itself well to artistry, it's for subtle magic, complex charms and such. It suits you."

"What wood is yours?" she asked, forgetting all about the awkwardness between them and stepping closer.

"Mine? Cypress with unicorn hair," Mason grinned, "Suited to nobility and heroism. Cypress wand users are apparently very self-sacrificing."

Lyra scoffed. "That's so cliché, I hate that it fits you."

"You think I'm heroic?" he grinned, pleased.

"I think being an Auror for the reasons that you became an Auror for are heroic, yeah," she smiled, "And I get that self-sacrificing vibe from most Gryffindors, honestly. You're a house full of martyrs."

"I'm going to take that as a compliment, thank you very much," he said with false indignation.

Lyra snorted so loudly she could almost hear her mother telling her off for being unladylike and Mason tried to ignore the jump in his chest at the sound.

"Come on, we should focus. No more wand lore," he laughed, getting out a tennis ball and setting it on the table. "Do you reckon you can move this?"

She took a second to compose herself and then nodded, taking a deep breath.

"Try controlling the movement, lifting it straight up and then towards you? Could you do that?"

She shrugged but licked her lips and narrowed her focus onto the yellow ball, holding her hand out and reaching for the magic to direct the ball upwards at a steady speed. At the top it wobbled slightly but then glided out from the table over open air towards her.

Mason watched her carefully, noting the cute little furrow in her brow. "Okay, now throw it against the other wall."

She let go with relish and hurled it towards the other end, letting the energy drop and her arm fall back to her side.

"Hey, that was super impressive! Normally people can only use it in moments of high emotion and even then, it's more instinctive than methodical," he smiled. "I've used it in a few duels and a fight at school but that's about it."

"I was an introverted kid, honestly," she admitted, "I spent a lot of time in my room reading and practising this sort of stuff. It was really handy for when my wand got confiscated, I could still light my candles and reach the books on the top shelf."

Mason smiled at the image of a much younger Lyra struggling to reach cupboards. "Lighting and extinguishing candles is actually also on the list," he said quickly before he got carried away, grabbing out the thick pillar candle and setting it on the table. He stepped back slightly – just in case – and nodded to her.

She smiled and clicked her fingers at the candle, the wick immediately flaring up and burning merrily. "Very handy for reading well into the night." Lyra left it flickering for a few more seconds and then clicked her fingers again, the flame vanishing and being replaced with a little spiral of smoke twisting its way towards the ceiling. "I have to admit that's about all I can do reliably. The rest is, like you said before, only when I'm stressed or in danger."

"Yeah we kind of suspected that," Mason smiled, "But even Moody can't do that sort of stuff, he's going to be jealous. This isn't for Moody now, this is just my own curiosity but when we duelled, you cast your own spell wandless. Is that the only one you can do, or can you cast specific spells too?" he asked, raising an eyebrow.

Lyra suddenly felt far too hot, but she really didn't want to take the jumper off partly because the top underneath had been chosen by Dorcas and was far too revealing but also because she felt far too exposed already, his question having hit a nerve she didn't know she had. Her hand circled her other wrist where there used to be bruises and she hesitated before opening her mouth.

"I can cast protego."

Mason's memory flickered back to the fight with Edgar again, not to recall the way she'd used wandless magic to throw him off, but to remember the fear in her eyes the instant before. He'd forgotten the sheer panic and desperation he'd felt radiating off her until now and realised there had to have been a reason she'd needed the shield charm like that. He felt a wave of anger surge through him and there was a bitter taste in his mouth.

"Who?" he said firmly, and she met his eye nervously, not quite sure what he meant. "Who hurt you?"

Lyra shook her head, unable to answer due to the lump in her throat. This wasn't a side of her home life that she'd ever spoken to a soul about, not even Dorcas, and while she felt safer with him than anyone, she wasn't sure if she even wanted anyone to know about this. It felt safer to bury it away and forget it ever happened. It's not like it had been anything close to what Sirius had experienced, it was never her parents doing it, but that last month before the start of training had been long and there were large chunks of days that were foggy solely because she'd chosen not to remember. "It's okay."

"It's not okay! It's never okay!" he said, his voice getting louder. He thought he'd seen enough of that side of Pureblood society to not be surprised by anything anymore, but apparently there was still more he was yet to understand.

"Mason, please," she said quietly, taking a shaky breath, "It is okay because I'm not there and I won't be again. And… can we please just drop it? I don't like thinking about it, it makes me feel… weak."

He ran his hand through his hair agitatedly but nodded, sucking air through his teeth slowly in an attempt to calm himself down. "Yeah, we can drop it." Not drop it for now, not drop it until later – he knew from being around Sirius that pushing people to talk about things that they weren't ready to talk about rarely helped. She'd told him that much, she'd trusted him with this, and he wouldn't mention it until she did.

"New subject, any top tips about the exams?" Lyra smiled tentatively, offering the conversation change because he honestly looked as agitated as she felt and she didn't want to keep thinking about any of it.

Mason laughed. "You know all the different exams, right?"

She nodded. "There's far more than I thought there would be, I'm worried about the practical stuff, the Concealment and Disguise section and Stealth and Tracking. Poisons and Antidotes should be okay, as should Duelling and Arrests. The rest are all so so."

Mason shook his head. "Honestly, I can't see how you'd do badly enough to fail. Because there are so many different sections, they aren't exactly big exams, and there's always the written exams for every section if you're worried about the practical side of things. I can't really say much more without breaking the rules," he chuckled, "But I'm always around for help and practise if you need it."

"And that's not special treatment, right?" she smiled, cocking her head.

He grinned. "Nope, as always I'd give the same speech to anyone who asked but no one else has been smart enough to ask someone who has done all the exams before for help."

She snorted and rolled her eyes. "Let me guess, you passed with flying colours?"

Mason smirked, "How did you know?"

Lyra had no doubt that he was being honest. He was clearly confident, but he didn't strike her as the type of person who was boastful where there wasn't anything to boast about; false pride was something she couldn't stand.

There was a momentary lull in conversation and Mason packed the ball and candle back into the box, along with Moody's instructions and then returned to watching her as she glanced out of the window as the first rays of sunset broke through the tree line across the field. He wondered what she was thinking about, but at the same time, he wasn't sure he'd actually want to know.

"Sirius is going to come to the family day," she blurted out after a few beats more of silence, biting her lip before continuing. "He wants to see me and didn't want me to have no one there."

Mason smiled slightly, his expression softening. "He mentioned it to me, yeah."

She gave him a funny look – another indication that Mason was going somewhere outside of the training compound when he wasn't busy with the recruits – but he ignored it.

"It's going to be really weird to see him. I mean, obviously I've seen him around, but not since he graduated, and I'm worried that I won't know what to say when he's actually there in front of me. I'm better at letters than I am talking about things in person," she continued. "What if it's awkward?"

"It probably will be to start with," he answered honestly, leaning against the table casually, "There's a lot to catch up on and it's hardly the usual 'long time no see' situation, is it?"

She sighed. "Not helping, Mason."

"No, but it'll be alright! You'll just have to go for a walk away from prying eyes and get it all off your chests – both of you."

Lyra pulled a face at the thought of the horrific encounter to come; it wasn't even that she didn't want to see Sirius – she was basically counting down the days – but she had a feeling it was going to get worse before it could get better. There was a lot of resentment both sides that she felt would surface once they were in the same room.

Mason saw the face and resisted the urge to take her hand. "No one said it was going to be easy, Lyra, but it'll be worth it, I promise. He's a long way from the angry teenager you spoke to last."

She smiled at him gratefully and nodded, trying to remember that Sirius was nearly twenty two and had had a long time to deal with the stuff he'd been dumped with when he ran away. "True. Despite all of this, I am looking forward to it. Thank you for telling him where I was."

He shook his head and picked up the box, "No problem, I'm glad I could help in some way. I think both of you deserve it."

Lyra smiled at him again and grabbed the broomstick that was leaning against the table, looking at him quizzically. "What was this for?"

"Moody had wondered if you'd be able to control something that normally only responds to wizards being on it or saying commands," Mason shrugged, "But he doubted it, that's pretty much unheard of. Accio only works on brooms because it's worked into the magic used to create them in the first place."

She headed to the door to hold it open for him. "Yeah, not going to lie that sounds fairly impossible."

"What are you doing?" Mason snorted.

She raised an eyebrow. "Helping you take this stuff back."

"I was just going to take them back to my room," he said slowly, realising he couldn't exactly refuse the help just because he didn't want her in his room. Correction: he wanted her in his room, he really really wanted her in his room, but it was an awful idea and her being there was only going to aggravate him.

"Okay, so let's go," she snorted, nodding towards the corridor. The idea of being in his room – not his office, his room – was torture for her too but she'd offered now and didn't want to suddenly change her mind in case it tipped him off too much to her feelings.

Mason laughed and carried the box out ahead of her, his mind frantically going over whether she was even allowed in the Auror's part of the complex. He couldn't think of a rule that would stop her, especially seeing as she was just dropping off a broomstick for him, so he kept his mouth shut and tried to think of something else, like icy water, History of Magic lessons, what he was having for dinner.

Lyra found herself watching him, which she was realising she did far too much anyway, gaze resting on the way his muscles stood out under his top as he adjusted his grip on the box and, as her eyes wandered down, the cut of his trousers, which were jean material like the Muggle fashion but still looked good on him. She blushed at her own imagination and forced her gaze back to eye level, glad that she was behind him so he hadn't seen her.

"Here we are," Mason said, balancing the box in one arm to unlock the door and push it open for her, "Just dump the broom anywhere, honestly. I don't even know where Moody got it from, there's none here, so I'll have to chase him down to give it back anyway."

She nodded and leaned it in the corner carefully, glancing around the room curiously. It was neat, which surprised her, and there were a few photos on the wall, also surprising her – she'd assumed he went home most nights as there were plenty of other instructors to stay overnight but the set up looked far more lived in than that.

"Are you here a lot?" she asked.

"Yeah," he laughed, "I'm technically in charge of this whole operation, being second in command is no walk in the park!"

"You're second in command?" Lyra choked, "As in, after Moody? For the whole department?"

Mason looked amused. "Yeah, did you not know?"

"Well I think Moody might've mentioned it in the introduction in September, but honestly I'd not really registered it."

He waggled his eyebrows. "Well now you know. I've got all the power when he's away."

"Worrying," she quipped, pretending to shudder.

Mason laughed and rolled his eyes at her. "Get out of my room, Recruit."

She really wanted to kiss him again and the feeling was starting to get out of control – how was she supposed to function day to day when all she wanted was for him to push her up against this wall?

"I'm going, I'm going!" she grinned, holding her hands up in surrender. Truthfully, she needed to go because she needed a cold shower.

"Alright. I'll see you tomorrow," he chuckled, shaking his head and letting her shut the door without following her out.


Lyra returned to her dorm, humming under her breath, to find Dorcas with the latest Daily Prophet up in front of her face.

"Hey, you," Lyra smiled, tugging the jumper off and hanging it back in Dorcas' section of the wardrobe. "Funnily enough he didn't see the nice bra you made me wear."

No response.

"Doe?" Lyra frowned, heading over and noticing that the newspaper was still held high. "What's up?"

"Nothing," she replied, but there was a quiver in her voice that Lyra had never heard before.

Her frown deepened and she gently tugged the paper out of Dorcas' hands, folding it up carefully before turning back to her. Dorcas' eyes were rimmed with red and there were half dried tear tracks running down her face, her braids hanging loosely around her face.

"Hey, what's up?"

"Look at the Prophet," Dorcas whispered, her dark eyes looking up finally to meet Lyra's.

Lyra retrieved the paper and glanced at the front page: MUGGLE FAMILIES IN OTTERY ST CATCHPOLE MURDERED IN SLEEP.

"The Death Eaters left a message saying they would continue to purge wizarding villages that had been taken over by Muggles until the 'pure of blood' reigned once more," Dorcas said bitterly, wiping at her eyes furiously. She rarely cried, choosing instead to channel her feelings on the war into anger and rage but today had been too much. Half-bloods were partially at risk, but as the only Muggleborn amongst the recruits this year and still feeling powerless to help people like her despite being in the programme had gotten too much.

Lyra didn't know what to say. Her whole life had been safe from this kind of hatred – her family had been the ones giving it out and she didn't want to seem like a dick by opening her mouth. "I'm sorry," she whispered, genuinely meaning it. There was something fundamentally wrong about seeing Dorcas like this.

"It's bullshit," she spat, the tears flowing again now as she stood up. "In the Muggle world I get it for my skin colour and in the wizarding world I get it for my blood. Like I could fucking help it! It's fluke! You could just as easily have been me, and I you, and then what? It's got nothing to do with who you actually are, it's superficial!"

"I know," Lyra mumbled, giving her space to rant.

"No, Lyra, I'm sorry, you don't," Dorcas laughed, pausing her pacing to stare at her. "I love you, this wasn't your fault, but you're a white Pureblood, don't try and say you know what this is like. Don't try and tell me you haven't been fed this shite your entire life."

"I left, Dorcas," Lyra said accusatorily, "I don't think like that."

"Oh you all say that," she snapped, "You all think because you chose this side that it erases what's happening. One person leaving that life doesn't cancel out the fact that people think I shouldn't be here, shouldn't have gone to Hogwarts, shouldn't have any say in this world just because my parents can't use magic."

"Dorcas-"

"Stop, don't say anything, you will never be hunted and killed for who you are. You don't have to sit in fear that the next family in the paper will be yours. You don't get it! Look who you grew up with!"

"You sound like Emma Vanity and I'd like you to stop," Lyra said firmly, grabbing her friend's hand. "Don't lump me in with them. I would be the first to say I'm lucky despite the shit I've gone through. I'm not at risk, you're right, Doe, I'd never ever try and say otherwise. And it's true that I don't understand and can't understand. Part of me is still amazed that you're able to match me in a duel because I was taught that my family and other Purebloods were always more powerful. But you prove to me every day that that's not right. I'm not my father, my cousin, my brother," she said, her voice softening, eyes wide.

Dorcas gave her a long hard look and then nodded slightly. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't take this out on you."

"Oh no, you're more than welcome to," Lyra promised, "I'm sure I've done plenty that warrants it, I'm not proud of it all."

"You're not perfect, but you're not bad at all," Dorcas muttered apologetically.

"Thanks, I think," Lyra smiled, rummaging around in her stuff and passing Dorcas a tissue as a peace offering. "But I'm always here to rant to, you know that right?"

Dorcas smiled weakly, "I didn't, but I do now. I always felt like you wouldn't listen, you know?"

Lyra sat down on the bed next to her and watched her carefully. "I know I say some on the nose stuff, Doe, but I always want you to tell me. I have to learn some time, surely, and I want to learn."

"I know, and I know a lot of it isn't conscious," Dorcas sighed, rubbing her eyes again and forcing herself to take some deep breaths.

"But this isn't about me right now," Lyra smiled, nudging her friend's arm. "How about we go to the rec room and make a massive mug of tea and I'll share some gossip?"

"Gossip? You never mentioned gossip before," Dorcas said, managing a little grin. The news still hurt, and just added to the pit of emotion that had been building since she'd come to Hogwarts at eleven and realised some people weren't happy she was there, but she knew from bitter experience that dwelling on it for too long only made things worse. She silently memorised the names of the families as a reminder of what she was fighting for and got up. "Sounds good to me. Thank you."

"No problem," Lyra said firmly, "I mean it. I can be a right cow but I never want to be one to you. You can always talk to me, even if it's chatting shit about me or my family."

Dorcas laughed, "Who else would I chat shit with anyway?"

"True, I am great for that," Lyra said, inspecting her nails and tilting her nose into the air.

Dorcas laughed again and hit her over the head with the newspaper before she dumped it and headed for the door. "Race you?"

"You'll win!" Lyra whined.

"Precisely. Go!"


Author's note: Hello! So I've finally finished rewriting and editing the entire story, it's all good to go! I should be updating now fairly regularly so stay tuned! I'm also putting this story up on AO3 so if that's more your scene, you can find me as annaregina on there! Enjoy x