Hey, hey, hey!

Guess who is back again and with a chapter that I'm lowkey happy about. It turned out to be better than I expected. There is no warning for this one too, it's mostly about feelings anyway.

I hope you enjoy it!


Chapter 12: Rekindling the flame


Stars shone as sugar spilled over black marble, glistening in the sun. The night sky was always a welcome sight, appearing like magic at each sunset, promising to return as she faded in dawn's first light. It felt like Nagisa understood more of who she was and how they came to be during nighttime. How fragile life was and how easy it would be to run away without looking back.

It was a time where she could think and shed the mask from her face - admittedly, she had a poorly made mask considering how everyone saw through her. It was a time where she could reminisce about her day and feel content about most of the people in her life.

And yet, she thought, the small snoring of her brother almost lulling her into a false sense of security, tonight the starry sky wasn't a welcomed sight. She never felt smaller or more alone than tonight.

Her life felt like the dark sky with specks of light so far away from each other it felt like a lifetime between those two bright moments. She finally realized that no one would really understand her.

Her brother was too young and too innocent and her father was too wrapped in his perception of the world he couldn't be bothered to see it differently. Her sensei was pushing her forward too fast and Mito was raised the same way as her. Miru wouldn't fathom why Nagisa felt the need to run away.

Her mother… was her mother. She would probably blame herself for not putting more of a fight and Nagisa refused to let her down.

Other members of her clan would either scoff, sneer at her or berate about the honors of being a protector of Uzushio.

No one would really get her fears.

It was with this deduction that Nagisa untangled her fingers from Yukio's hair, softly pushed him off her arms and paddled out of their room.

She couldn't shake off the looming feeling of dread that kept her from falling asleep.

The living room was eerie, painted in monochrome and timelessness. As if the world just paused and if Nagisa dared to breathe too heavy, she would break the moment. It was a needed reprieve but one that was soon to come to an end.

"You should go to sleep, you will need your strength."

Nagisa blinked, freezing and almost recoiling her hand from touching the fresh flowers drying on the table. She had been prepared but his voice still shook her for some reasons. It set her nerves ablaze.

"How do you know?" She paused to slowly turn around and face him head-on. He was leaning against the wall, hiding in the dark - like any good shinobi - while she bathed in the moonlight. "That I'm going to train harder."

She already had her suspicions, especially after analyzing the memory of her sensei's face during a good portion of her evening. Yakihiro's brows creased and his eyes exuded a sense of reluctance, which Nagisa thought was weird once her raging emotions calmed.

"I'm your father, I know of things pertaining to you." He answered as if it was the most natural thing to say.

She scoffed, swallowing a laugh of disbelief, and didn't miss the tension in his shoulders. His chakra coiled around her, sharp and cold.

He was getting agitated. Good.

Truthfully, she wasn't feeling much tonight. Her anger had time to simmer and die. Now, it was cold.

"Why are you always so sensitive, Nagisa? Stop going for my throat each time I talk, it's tiring."

"So it's really you…" She murmured more to herself than to him, before she circled around the table, catching one of the fancy rocks Yukio brought their mother back and played with it. "Why are you so surprised, isn't it one of my womanish fancies?"

It was Daichi's turn to scoff. "A woman? You're far from being a woman."

Her lips thinned for a second. He wasn't wrong per say, but the jab still reached home and poked her pride. "Perhaps. I will be more...hmmm, rational I guess, once you stop ruining my life."

He sighed deeply, she could feel his annoyance rolling off him, and she saw the shadow of his hand reaching his hair. Interesting show of emotion, it proved she was getting to him.

"Nagisa." His voice was low but had taken a deeper tone. "Do you enjoy making your father angry? Is it your idea of fun?"

Her lips curled and bared her teeth in an angry grin, showcasing perfectly how utterly irritated she was. The emotion was too bright and raw for her childish face and it warmed her previously cold blood.

The rock crashed on the table. They let the echo reverberated off the walls, shattering the deafening silence that muffled their voices.

She was losing her grip on her emotions and her voice reflected exactly that.

"Father, father, father… You always have that word in your mouth as if it's some kind of mystic word that gives you absolute power over me-"

"Why are you whining again?" He cut before her words could grow in power. "It's the truth. I am your father and I know you better than you would like and I know better how this world works. I lived in it longer. That's why you need to listen to me. I know how to make you powerful."

Her grin turned into a sneer while her knuckles tightened. Her nails were leaving crescent marks in her palms and her heartbeat sang the melody of her pain.

The emotions were bubbling inside her, like a pot of boiling water ready to overflow, and they were almost too much for her to contain. She wanted to trash everything around her to relieve the pressure, to show him she was serious and angry.

She crossed the room again, stopping at the bookshelf, partially hidden in its shadow.

"Your argument would hold more value if you were more present during my childhood instead of dumping your responsibilities on Mom."

She wanted to say more, to question where he was, why he preferred work over them, her, why he was so power-hungry. She wanted to punch him for finally giving her his entire attention but only because she suddenly was interesting, a tool, something to use to gain something. Was she just that? A stepping stone for a greater future? Did he love her?

Ultimately, she wanted to know why he changed and if her father would ever come back but the quivers in her voice and the fear of showing him her vulnerability blocked her.

He huffed, affronted, "And look what a great job she did. My own daughter is…"

He paused.

"What. I'm what?" She spat defensively, ready to pounce.

Kazashi was a sore spot for both of them, talking about her could trigger Nagisa's temper while leaving a bitter taste in Daichi's mouth.

Daichi laughed, disbelief coloring his voice, and brought a hand to his hair again. "Is that it? Are you throwing tantrums to get my attention? I'm sorry I couldn't be there for you but I have responsibilities on this island. I had to be absent but now, I'm here."

She froze, shadows hiding half of her face but the pain was still visible.

How strange. She had longed to hear these words, ' I'm here for you, Nagisa. I'm here because you matter ' and yet, it brought her nothing but pain. It wasn't searing though, not the kind she had grown accustomed to when dealing with her father. It was duller but present like a constant in her life. It was like old news, something she wished for but already moved on from.

"But it's too late." Her voice shook and cracked before she put on a brave face. She wondered if her father saw that moment of weakness or if he was too blinded by his own emotions to realize it. "No one asks you to come back."

His chakra stiffened and recoiled from her skin.

Nagisa felt the emptiness it left in her, felt the way her heart trembled and the twisted mix of satisfaction and guilt getting one over her father brought her. She felt it all, let it sit in her mind so she would forever remember how shitty it was.

Her throat knotted. Her eyes burnt and Nagisa understood she needed to go. She turned her back to him, bee-lining for the door.

"Running away again?"

Guess that answers the question.

Kasa-obaa-san's words came to the forefront of her mind. "It's a curse the Uzumaki bear for thousands of years," Her grandmother had told her after her temper had exploded, "that blinds us to the pain we inflict and keeps us from becoming our better self."

She truly disliked how right Kasa was in that moment. Her father didn't stop because he couldn't see he already defeated her.

"I'm not."

He snorted and she heard his clothes ruffling and a quick, misty glance over her shoulder told her that he wasn't leaning against the wall anymore. Still mostly cloaked in shadows, he had taken a step toward her.

"You are. You always are and do you want to know why? Because my daughter is a coward. Every time something bothers you - every time it scares you, you leave. But it doesn't work like that, you can't just leave and hope everything will be resolved by the time you come back."

His tirade was met with silence as Nagisa let his words wash over her. She tensed. She bit her lip, chewed her cheeks. Her pride refused to see the truth, especially since he was the one presenting it. She shoved it aside.

The storm in her raged, indignant and unwilling to be defeated and it would be so easy to get lost in it once again. To talk back, to hiss, to growl and to fight like a feral beast. It was what she impulsively wanted to do, what her blood told her to do but-

"I don't want to fight, I'm… tired. Good night."

The tension left her body. She slouched on herself as her face fell, weary half-lidded eyes and relaxed mouth.

When faced with the unexpected reaction, Daichi choked on his breath and gasped, as if he had been roused awake with cold water. He took another step forward, face bathed in moonlight rays. Truly a surprising face.

It might have been the second time she saw so many emotions blooming on his face. She wasn't in the mood to analyze them. She just… wanted to leave. And she did exactly that.

"Wait… Nagisa!" Her father's voice reached her as she jumped over the entrance porch.

She didn't.

He didn't follow her. As usual.


The next day passed by as a blur. The weariness hadn't left her yet. Yakihiro-sensei told her that he would give her the day off too. So her only job for the day had been with Sumi-sensei and Mito. Fuinjutsu, of course.

Conversations that usually flowed well between the two cousins had been strained. Nagisa wasn't really present, her mind running away to hide away in her daydreams. The lesson had been about chakra chains, that much she remembered, and how they would need to form their own chains one day so they needed to start thinking about the kind of chains they hoped to shape because every type of chains had its own particularities and its own strategies so-

That was when her mind left her body.

After the lesson, Sumi-sensei asked if she had thought about a graduation seal and left grumbling about youth and their carelessness when she answered negatively.

She went back to her bed and laid there until Yukio bugged her enough she came out to play - or in other words, to start on his pre-training (but really, they were brawling. Nagisa wasn't a teacher).

At dinner, her father tried to tell her something but he gave up halfway through and Nagisa couldn't care less. (Liar, her heart called her out. She muted its voice).

The next few weeks passed by in a similar fashion, except that she started training again. Miru came to see her a few times too and immediately spotted that something was off. She tried to help her, something that Nagisa was inwardly very grateful for, but she handled it poorly, trying to force an explanation out or bribing her with sweets.

Their days together usually ended earlier than usual.

In the meantime, Yakihiro-sensei taught her a bunch of stuff like traps against shinobis and animals, strategies that heavily relied on stamina and life-saving first aid moves.

He also warned her that she would go through torture training one day and that she would basically be kidnapped and put through real situations to determine whether she could be entrusted with sensitive information. He gave her some tips - which had a lot to do with breathing techniques and meditation.

"Nagisa," Yakihiro called her, suddenly. The girl turned her head, surprised. She had been very quiet for a while now- unusually so for she always had a remark at the ready- and he couldn't ignore it any longer. "Are you okay? You were… daydreaming."

Her face colored in surprise fell back in a placid expression, neither pleased nor displeased. She pinched her lips, the only sign she wasn't particularly happy, before it curved into a small smile. It didn't reach her eyes. "Of course I am. I simply have things to think about. You were saying? Something about a stealth exercise, wasn't it?"

Perhaps it was her sudden dispirited behavior or her overly polite speech but it was making her sensei uncomfortable.

"Do you-" He paused, mulling on his words some more, "Nevermind… Yes, I've realized that you're not particularly good at stealth so we're going to focus on that for a week at least and see your progress. Anyway, the first exercise is simple, I'm going to wrap that tag around my sum-"

He paused suddenly, scowling. "Reveal yourself or be treated as an enemy."

A siren went off in her head. Nagisa was on her feet in the second, hand hovering over her hips holster.

She didn't know what she was expecting but certainly not a sheepish but graceful Mito coming out of the bushes, a few leaves adoring her hair like a crown.

"Hmm… I'm sorry, Nagisa is usually done with training at this time and I thought- I'm sorry for disturbing the class."

Mito was looking uncharacteristically small, more submissive, with a small flush burning her cheeks. Nagisa squinted and tilted her head.

"Nagisa will graduate soon. Her training sessions are increasing in length, she will need it." Despite his gruff tone, Yakihiro's voice had taken on a far away tint, as if he was mulling over something and-

His face lit up with a newfound revelation. "But you know what, it's alright for today. You can take her away and have fun together."

Not only Mito but also Nagisa were both flabbergasted by the sudden turn of events and the overly satisfied look he had, as if he just solved the greatest mystery of the year. For some reason, it pissed Nagisa off.

"What?"

"You've trained well for today, Nagisa. You can take a break and we will continue tomorrow." He appeared at her side, clapping her back and simultaneously pushing her toward Mito.

"But-"

"Really?" Her cousin's face had lit up in a similar fashion but, Nagisa guessed, for different reasons. "Are you sure? Training is also important and I don't want to bother her growth."

She turned her eyes away, saving them from turning blind by so much cuteness. She knew Mito was cute but she wasn't aware she had a cute side.

It was interesting to not the difference with the portrait she painted of her: serious and reckless, easy to anger -but then, wasn't she just the same?-, lonely and grieving and now bashful.

"Okay," Nagisa answered, picking the leaves from Mito's hair. The girl flushed a bit at her disheveled state but didn't complain. "It's okay. It's not one day that will change anything, right Sensei?"

They both turned around when no answer came. Nagisa blinked. When the hell did he disappear?

"That answers it, I guess." Nagisa watched Mito shift back and forth on her feet and she took pity on her before the poor girl could blame herself more. "Don't worry, if it really bothered Sensei, he would have thrown you out."

"Oh, I know." Nagisa blinked a second time in disbelief. Uh? Wasn't she… ? Then why was she so shy-

A slightly fruit bun appeared in front of her eyes. She took a step back and looked cautiously at Mito, expressing what she was thinking with just a look: 'What?'

The nice flush on her cheeks had turned into a full-bloomed blush that reached her ears and as she couldn't look her in the eyes, her embarrassment was only getting clearer.

"It's for you, dattebase."

Nagisa tried to ignore the way her insides squirmed and warmed, as she took the gift, inhaling the sweetness of the treat wafting in the air. Her mouth watered.

"Oh. Thank you." She paused, swallowing the excess of drool and awkwardness, "Uhm, we should probably go eat it somewhere else?"

Mito clasped her hands behind her back, nodding. "Yes, please."

"Okay, good." She nodded, wincing as her own cheeks were getting warmer. Why was she getting embarrassed too? "I know a good spot."


There was a power and a brilliance in the tranquility, a place of stillness even in the roar of the water. She could watch this streaming water even in her sleep, a beautiful infinite dream of white surrounded by green, brown and grey and the blue of the sky. The waterfall had a power of its own, a strength of always going forward despite knowing it would crash at the end of the day.

From where they were seated, at the top of the waterfall, they could watch their city of ochre and specks of colors from afar while abandoned buildings colored in a kind of grey that spoke of doves, of sun-warmed seals and other serene eye-treasures and half-eaten by ivies were strewn at their feet.

Mito had that gaze, dazed with amazement and a love for their island that was reignited. She didn't dare look away, too enraptured with the newfound beauty of their home, so much that more than once she chewed the air instead of her own bun.

And for a time, Nagisa was happy to let her soak in the timelessness of the moment. That was until she found the silence a bit too heavy.

"Why did you come? Why the gift?" She wondered aloud, barely louder than the stream.

Mito's teeth sank into nothing and she blinked herself out of her stupor, watching her empty hand with surprise and wondering where the hell her food went.

Nagisa patiently waited for her to regain her bearing, the corners of her lips curling.

"You did the same for me." She mulled on her words for a bit, throwing her a look before nodding to herself. "I noticed that you weren't acting like usual and I thought that it might help you."

"Oh, I see. Thank you."

It wasn't surprising really, almost everyone caught on her change in spirit, but the thought that she went out of her way for her spread warmth in her chest.

It was a different warmth, unlike the one Miru's attention gave her. It wasn't bright and bold, almost burning but softer and kinder. It was a welcomed warmth.

"You don't have to answer me but is it about your graduation?" The girl's finger twirled around a grass blade before her bright eyes gazed deep into her soul. "Do you not want to graduate?"

But again, Nagisa didn't feel bugged by the question. It didn't raise her hackles and grated her nerves. Maybe it was the setting, maybe it was the company and the way she formulated her question. Asking without pushing for an answer.

It was yet again a surprise. Nagisa hadn't been expecting this from Mito. Mito, just like she, was a researcher by heart and she would always question and bug until she had her answer. If anything, she had expected that kind of approach from Miru.

"Why do you think so?"

Mito shifted a bit, leaning back on her hands and watching the sky. "I noticed that you, uhm, mellowed around the same time as the announcement of your graduation test." How frighteningly accurate of her. It wasn't the first time that Mito connected the dots easily. From the way she handled complex seals, it was easy to see that she had deduction skills and a perceptivity that would become terrifying once she honed them.

Then, as if she suddenly realized her mistake, she straightened herself and flushed. "N-not that you were particularly harsh or anything before and-"

"I get it." She cut her before she could dig herself a bigger hole. With the sigh, she added, "It's not exactly that. It's more that I wasn't expecting it to happen so soon, I guess? And without consulting me first. They just sprang this on me without a care about what I thought and added unwanted pressure."

There was a bit of silence before the younger girl wondered. "Pressure? Why? You shouldn't feel pressure about something you will succeed."

Her eyes were big and bright and incredibly confident in her own words like she truly never considered that Nagisa could fail. It was kind of flattering that the girl had such faith in her but it was also burdensome.

"What if I don't?" She countered simply and it took her friend aback. Nagisa snorted wryly. "You've never dealt with failures before, have you?"

Mito spluttered, leaning away from her before answering, "Of course I have. Last week, I failed my bun, it was all black and crispy. And sometimes I don't get the seals right."

Ah, she truly is still just a child… And worse of all, a sheltered child whose sole constant is her father.

She didn't know failures of things that mattered and truthfully, Nagisa was glad she didn't. She hoped that she would never have to deal with soul-crushing failures and that she would never feel the weight of people's expectations. She wished Mito would lead the kind of life she's never going to live.

"Then the fear of failure, the one that comes with all the expectations that people place on you." When she glanced into her eyes and saw the void, Nagisa continued to explain. "It's heavily linked to the fear of disappointing others. You don't want to be a source of unhappiness and disappointment for the ones who matter, don't you?"

Mito opened her mouth, at loss for words, then closed it with a clack before she opened it again. A bit like a cute fish. "Oh… I've never thought about it like that before."

And that alone proved that Mito never had to deal with failures, nor did she ever catch on to all the expectations placed on her. Ignorance is bliss.

"And I didn't expect you to. Just know that people will have expectations and that you will disappoint them but it's alright. You're allowed to because it's not your fault, it's their own fault. You've never asked for it."

Both girls were surprised by her vehement speech. Nagisa more so at the warmth in her blood, ready to boil than at her passionate speech of things she had always wanted to hear but never did.

"Oh… Very well. It's a bit worrying but if you say so, alright."

Once again, Nagisa was surprised by the complete trust Mito had for her. Ah, it feels good...

"Good." She nodded, hugging her knees and leaning her head against them. "I guess I'm also a bit worried about my graduation seal. I don't know what to do and time is just flying by."

"Maybe something that will help you."

Nagisa snorted. "Well, yes. I intended to do that since the very beginning-"

"Ah, no. I meant something that will help only you." Mito was once again playing with the grass, her fingers danced over the tiny blades and some wild daffodils. She pulled some out.

Nagisa sucked on her teeth, musing on it. "With what?"

"I don't know, something you have difficulties with?"

"Stealth." Her answer was immediate as Yakihiro's words echoed in her mind.

"A seal for stealth then." Mito agreed readily, a content smile drawn on her face.

"That's a good idea. I should probably go to the library to see what kind of seal I need to create." And see the drafts her ancestors made about them. Hopefully, she would find one that only needed to be improved.

She rose to her feet, patting the grass and the dirt of her clothes. "Well, then-"

Green eyes met green eyes. Nagisa froze. Mito was playing with her, acting cute yet again. "Can I come with you? I mean, If you want me that is, but maybe I can help you search."

Something in her melted. She smiled. How cute. Mito wanted to spend more time with her. "Of course."

The trek back to the city happened in a relatively calm atmosphere, they would comment on a thing or two, mostly the old buildings and how they lived in it.

It was at the entrance of the library that Mito suddenly gasped. "Nagisa, I never told you but last time I saw Sumi-sensei walking in a room I've never noticed before."

Oh, gossips near his domain. Mito liked to live dangerously.

Nagisa walked to the stairs, turning to her cousin and waiting for her to join her. She cocked a brow. "And?"

Seeing that Nagisa didn't get it, Mito speed-walked to her and added. "A room in the library that I've never noticed before."

That made her pause and slowly raised her other brow. "What? But I'm sure we've scoured it entirely." As if to rest her case, she wildly gestured to the stairs.

"Yes," Mito agreed fervently, clasping both her hands in hers. "And there was someone else in it. A guard."

There was a flame in her cousin's eyes, ignited by curiosity and greedily going to consume her if she didn't scratch the itch.

"But what is a guard doing inside a room hidden within the library except for guarding something-"

"Dangerous." Her eyes twinkled.

"Or forbidden." Nagisa's eyes twinkled back.

"So something we shouldn't see, right?"

Nagisa nodded and added to her point. "Yes, probably because we're too young."

They started climbing the stairs, neither talking, both mulling.

"Buuut~ if they're going to reveal it to us later, shouldn't they show us now? My father always says, 'the sooner, the better'."

"Afraid it doesn't work like that." Nagisa sighed and stopped at the top of the stairs, shaking her head and putting a hand on her hips.

"I see…" Mito didn't try hard to hide her disappointment.

They nodded at the guard warily watching them, probably sensing that they were up to something, and walked inside.

When faced with the thousands of books and the comforting scent of ink and paper, Mito turned her head. "Should we?"

The mischief in her eyes was plenty telling of her plan.

"Oh God, yes."

...

To be continued?


Here we go. A longer chapter this time. Maybe not as long as in the beginning but still, a longer one.

I didn't want to portrait her relationship with her father as simply: I hate you, because truthfully, Nagisa doesn't just and really hate him. There is a ton of resentment mixed with other things. On Daichi's side, he loves her and he is doing what he believes is the best for her based on his own experience. But that's where it all goes to shit, it's what he believed to be the best.

Also, Nagisa is aware of her father's flaw (as stated with her grandmother's quote) but the funny thing is that she doesn't realize it also applies to her. Anyway, their interaction here can be summed up as 'both saying things in the heat of the moment that they don't mean and that they do mean'.

Shinobi are shit when dealing with emotion and it applies to Daichi, Yakihiro and Nagisa (though Nagisa isn't one yet).

Finally, Mito. I wanted to portrait her as still naive to some things because, unlike Nagisa, it's her first life and she is still a child while still giving her that genius edge. Not sure I really did well but eh, I did my best. Mito is shy because Nagisa is someone she cares about but she doesn't want to upset her either and she doesn't know how to deal with her regarding emotions too. A bit like a first crush but in a friendly way.

And that's all for this chapter!

I wanted to thank you all again for your comments. I see them and I try to answer them, so if you have any questions, you can ask and I will answer! (Unless it's a plot point :/)

Take care! Wear your mask! Be careful!

XOXO

Lott is out!