"This is such a bad idea."

"You're scared of heights?"

"What gave it away?" hissed Anastasia. Cringing away from the edge, she grabbed hold of a loose tile, keeping her grip firm. "How did I let you talk me into this anyway?"

Kai snorted and took another gulp from the Vodka bottle. He hadn't planned to bring her here, and he hadn't been here himself in a long time, but his feet had automatically led him up the stairs, through the attic and out the small window, onto the sloping, ridged roof of the mansion. Anastasia had followed him wordlessly, though he could tell she was itching to stop and look around the house. She was curious about his childhood, he knew that, but after seeing his scars he was surprised she wasn't tormenting him with questions. Were Hilary and Tala right? Did she really know him that well, that she knew he didn't want to be asked about it?

She probably did know, he reasoned to himself, and it was normal that she knew. They spent a lot of time together, and he did talk to her, more than he could ever remember talking to any other girl he had been interested in. It was just so deceptively easy to open up to Anastasia, with her clear eyes and her inability to judge him for all the horrible things he had done. She was constantly talking and yes, it grated on his nerves sometimes, but at other times he had to admit he liked hearing the sound of her voice. And then he realized, slightly late, that he hadn't heard her speak in a few minutes now.

Kai's eyes snapped to her, seated slightly below him on the slope of the roof. She was looking at the view, which he knew to be impressive from four stories up high. But her hunched figure, slightly dwarfed in the jacket he had slung around her shoulders when they had first stepped outside, was tense, and her left hand was clamped down on a loose tile, her knuckles white with pressure. Kai suppressed a snort. As if he would let her fall.

"Calm down," he said finally. Without waiting for a response, he reached out and tugged her up to his level, wrapping an arm around her waist securely. She was seated between his legs now, and Kai could feel the warmth from her body enveloping him, comforting even though he wasn't cold. But he craved contact with her, he had accepted it now. There was no point trying to deny that, at least. "I won't let you fall, Anna."

"How do I know you won't toss me off this roof if I talk too much?" demanded Anastasia.

Kai felt his lips twitch. "I won't. Too many witnesses."

He knew his words would annoy her. Sure enough, she turned back to look at him, her eyes wide. "Is that the only reason?"

No. He wanted her to understand that without him having to say it, but whether she didn't or she chose not to, he couldn't tell. He sighed, and grudgingly added a "No, it isn't," hoping she'd be satisfied.

She wasn't. "I don't believe you."

"I'd miss you too much if I killed you," he said, and the finality in his tone told her he didn't want to discuss it further.

Fortunately, Anastasia got this hint. She hummed in reply, leaning her head back against his chest. Kai tried not to focus on the fact that the only thing separating him from Anastasia's bare back was his own jacket, and wondered what had possessed him to give it to her in the first place when this whole experience would have been much more enjoyable without it. But suddenly Anastasia let out a small sigh and burrowed further into the garment, cuddling closer to Kai in the process. Warmth spread throughout his body and that, combined with her scent, had the uncanny ability to calm his down immediately. Now he remembered why he had done it. Because he cared too damn much.

Anastasia's soft voice broke into his thoughts. "This is really pretty."

She meant the view. "Yeah, it is." He meant the girl in his arms.

Kai saw the skin at the nape of her neck erupt into goosebumps as he spoke, and he tried not to smirk. It was always gratifying to know how affected she was by him, since she tried so hard to pretend she wasn't. Even now, he could practically feel the electricity buzzing between them, something he had noticed weeks ago, but had never allowed himself to enjoy until earlier that night when he had first seen her talking to Johnny. It was easy, so very easy to get lost in her when they were like this, with no sounds except their breathing and nothing to distract his senses from her.

But it made Anastasia nervous every time. Kai detected the hint of desperation in her tone as she began to speak, clearly wanting the distraction he was trying to avoid. "Why'd you bring me here? The house is massive, we could have gone anywhere."

She always managed to ask the questions he had no answers to. Kai shrugged. "I used to come here a lot."

"As a kid? Why?"

He hesitated, knowing where this conversation could lead. "Voltaire had a key to every room," said Kai finally. "But he couldn't climb the ladder outside the attic window."

"Oh," Anastasia bit her lip. "Sorry, I guess that was a stupid question."

Thank you for not asking another one. "It's okay."

Again, silence. The electricity crackling between what little space there was between their bodies was going to drive them both insane. Kai had almost made up his mind to address it, for the first time, when Anastasia cleared her throat. "So, how's practice going?"

He was caught off-guard at that. "It's going good, I guess. Why?"

"I, uh, thought of a new design I might want to try," stammered Anastasia. "Yeah, I was thinking the defense is working so well for you but the –"

Adorable. "Anna," his amused tone made her shut her mouth immediately. "Why are you talking about work right now?"

And his amusement seemed to annoy her. "Well, what do you want to talk about?"

Kai couldn't stop the soft chuckle that escaped him at her indignant tone. It was easy to hide behind work, for both of them, but he didn't want to. Not tonight, anyway. To make his point clear, he eased her fingers off the tile she had been holding onto for dear life, instead entwining their fingers together. "Not work. What do you want to talk about?"

Anastasia's tone was guarded. "You don't want to talk about what I want to talk about, Kai."

He didn't need ask her what she meant. "Maybe I do."

Anastasia sighed. "No, you really don't, or you would have answered me properly when I asked you in the kitchen."

"Maybe you surprised me," he offered. Some part of his brain told him he shouldn't do it like this, because Anastasia deserved more than a half-assed explanation full of maybe's and what if's, but he was tired of waiting. She was too close and too tempting, and he could only resist for so long. "Maybe I have an answer now."

"And maybe I don't want to hear it now," she shot back, her tone irritated. But she didn't move, and she didn't let go of his hand. If anything, she seemed to press back against his chest a little more, as if anchoring herself to him. As if she was afraid he would try to get up and leave. Kai frowned. Is that what she thought he would do? Leave?

The idea was laughable. He couldn't leave her. Every time he so much as thought about herimpending departure he always felt like someone had punched him in the stomach, and he immediately felt the unexplainable need to see her, to annoy her or have her annoy him, just to know she was still there. If she were to get up and leave now, he knew it would hurt. Badly.

"Anyway, I have a better question," she continued, and he heard the forced lightness in her tone. She didn't want to talk about it, not yet anyway, and he owed her the courtesy of waiting until she was ready. So Kai merely grunted and squeezed her hand, indicating she could continue. "You seem to like doing this a lot," noted Anastasia, holding up their linked hands. Tilting her head back, she smiled at Kai, and his lips twitched slightly in response.

"I do," he said simply. This he could do. This was easy. "You don't?"

Anastasia snorted. "What do you think?" She didn't seem to care for a response. "Are you going to finish that whole thing yourself?" she asked suddenly, indicating the bottle balancing precariously next to them.

Kai reached for it with his free hand and offered it to her, only slightly reluctant. He didn't doubt her ability to handle the alcohol, but he didn't want it to alter her judgement if something happened. He'd have to be more careful now, make sure his actions were clear and her responses weren't based off of alcoholic influence. Almost as if she could read his mind, Anastasia rolled her eyes and took a swig, her face thoughtful instead of disgusted at the taste. She handed it back to him. "Expensive," she commented.

Kai hummed in reply, taking a sip himself after she was done. They lapsed into silence, passing the bottle back and forth almost absently, even though Kai tried to control her intake. He wanted to talk and fill the silence, but Anastasia seemed to enjoy the quiet. Her breathing was regular, and her posture was the most relaxed he had seen or felt in weeks. But there was a small dent between her eyebrows, only just visible to Kai because of the angle her face was at, and he knew immediately that she was thinking. Probably about him, and if so most definitely about them.

Panic seized him for a second. He didn't want her to have second thoughts, not when he had finally admitted to himself that maybe, just maybe, he could do this. If Anastasia even had an inkling of doubt, he knew he would back off immediately. She was the only person who seemed to believe in him unconditionally, even though she hadn't known him for that long. But maybe that was the point. He hadn't betrayed her like he'd betrayed his friends, or disappointed her like he'd disappointed his family and his legacy. She knew very little about him, but she knew the important things. And if she thought he couldn't do it, he wouldn't be able to. He didn't want her to think like that.

"Do you always think this loudly?" Kai asked, hoping he could interrupt her reverie.

It worked. Anastasia blinked and turned her face to look at him, her expression clear. She was even smiling a little. "Only when it's about you," she teased, and the light-hearted tone was music to his ears.

With newfound confidence, Kai shifted her hair off her shoulder, and breathed in her scent as he spoke into her ear. "Then by all means, think out loud."

Anastasia sucked in a breath and let it out in a shaky exhale. "You're cheating," she muttered.

"I am?" Kai stroked her arm absently. Her skin was silky, but goosebumps appeared in the wake of his fingers, once again offering him a boost of assurance. She did want him. She wasn't pushing him away.

"Mmhmm," Anastasia turned her head again, and her nose bumped against Kai's. "I can't concentrate when you're this close, you know," she whispered. She was so close he could feel her eyelashes brush against his cheeks.

"Yeah?" Kai's eyes locked with hers, and he saw the desire he felt reflected in her gaze. "I know how you feel."

"Liar."

"I'm serious," his lips were at her ear again. "I can't even concentrate when you're in the same room, Anna."

"Is that why you were staring at me that day?" she whispered suddenly. "When you were battling your team-mates?"

Kai's lips brushed against her cheek accidentally, and Anastasia sucked in another breath. He froze where he was, just barely touching her skin. "I stare at you all the time," he said carefully. "Haven't you noticed?"

"I'm not blind," she mumbled. "You're not very subtle."

Kai's lips twitched. "I'm not," he admitted.

She was watching him now, as if she expected him to do something more. He didn't, too aware of the fact that if he did and got rejected he'd never be able to face her again. They stayed like that for what felt like hours, staring each other down, until Anastasia finally spoke.

"Kai?"

He quirked an eyebrow in response.

Anastasia took a deep breath. "If you were planning, at any point today, to kiss me, I would strongly advise you to do it now, before I –"

Neither of them ever found out what Anastasia would do, because Kai had already pressed his lips against her hungrily, needing no more encouragement. It wasn't like the movies, with cheesy singing and erratic heartbeats. It was better. She tasted like mint and Vodka and a hint of chocolate, the kind he was sure she had been snacking on before arriving at the party. And her waist was tiny, easily fitting into both of his hands, but he didn't let his hands wander, too busy enjoying the feel of his mouth against hers to concentrate on anything else. He had kissed girls before, girls who had probably had more experience than Anastasia, but it had never felt this good. Everything was on fire: his hands burned pleasantly whenever he brushed against her flushed skin, her lips were soft, her mouth warm and inviting. She was practically sitting on his lap now, her fingers bunching up the front of his shirt as she kissed him back eagerly. Everything about her made him hunger for more, and even when she pulled back slightly, gasping for breath, he merely ducked his head down and pressed his lips to her neck, ignoring the quiet hiss of pain as he sucked on a spot right near her pulse point, feeling the vein throb underneath her skin as he let his tongue glide against it lazily.

"You know, you're still hurt," he heard her mumble breathlessly as he continued to kiss her neck slowly. "We should stop."

"I don't care," he pressed a last, lingering kiss against her throat and straightened up, slightly satisfied to note that Anastasia looked significantly less put-together than she had a few minutes ago. "If you want me to stop, say no," he whispered, his lips brushing her mouth tantalizingly. "Otherwise, just shut up."

"You're bossy," she mumbled. She inched forward to catch his lips in another kiss, and Kai could tell from the way her nails were digging into his shoulder that she was trying to avoid making the delectable sounds he had heard just a few moments ago.

Losing track of time was inevitable, and Kai didn't know how long it was before they actually talked again. They hadn't left the roof, because even though it was cold his head was just the right amount of foggy and Anastasia was curled up against his chest, alternating between kissing him and shivering pleasantly every time he touched her skin. It wasn't until the noises of the dwindling party reached them and Kai realized it must be late for even Tala to be kicking people out, which meant he'd have to take Anastasia home.

Which also meant he'd have to talk to her.

As if she had read his mind, Anastasia sighed quietly. "I don't want to go back inside."

"We should," said Kai, not bothering to hide his reluctance. He rested his chin on top of her head. "I should take you home."

For a second, Kai thought he was imagining her tight grip on his hand at his words, and the way her shoulders tensed up. When she spoke, though, he realized he wasn't. "Oh, really?"

Kai frowned. "What?"

"Nothing."

"Just because this happened doesn't mean you can be a pain, Anna," he said bluntly. Ignoring her huff of annoyance, he twisted her around so she was straddling his lap, and raised an eyebrow at her pout. "What's wrong?"

"What exactly is this?" she demanded.

"This is exactly what you want it to be," said Kai calmly. Anastasia snorted and made to move, clearly wanting to put some distance between them, but Kai caught both her wrists in his hands and didn't let go.

"Are you drunk?" she asked abruptly. Kai rolled his eyes and shook his head. He was buzzed, but he wasn't drunk. He knew what he was doing. Anastasia huffed. "Well, then stop being so damn vague and tell me what –"

"I want to know what you want," he interjected smoothly. "I'm being a gentleman here, Anna."

At the hint of sarcasm in Kai's tone, Anastasia's eyes flashed. "You act as though romance is beneath you and you don't deserve to be with anyone, let alone someone you care about, but all you do with me is show me how much you care! What am I supposed to think?"

"Tell me what you do think."

Anastasia deflated suddenly, going limp in his arms. "It doesn't matter what I think," she muttered. "Because if you start acting like this never happened, I don't know what I'll do."

Kai released one of her wrists gently, using his free hand to tilt her chin up so she could meet his gaze. She was worried and anxious, and there was a hint of embarrassment in her eyes too, as if she was readying herself for rejection. "This happened," said Kai simply. "And I wanted it to happen."

He saw some of the worry in her eyes rescind. "And?" she asked hopefully.

"And what?" Kai caressed her cheek gently, but his tone was dry. "I kissed you and I have feelings for you, but that doesn't mean I'm going to change, Anna. I don't do grand, romantic gestures like that."

"But I don't care about that stuff," said Anastasia, throwing him off slightly. She seemed to be able to tell he was surprised, and she smiled. "I like you too, you know. You're mean and snappy with everyone else, but you're not like that with me. I think you've already changed a little."

"I don't –"

"And I'm not out to change who you are and what you believe in anyway," she interrupted gently. Kai could feel his pulse quicken at her words. He hadn't expected this. He hadn't expected her to understand so easily, without him having to argue or explain himself or spell it out for her. "I like you, and I want to give this, whatever it is, a try. That doesn't mean you have to be the kind of boyfriend who buys me flowers or writes me poetry or takes me out on fancy dates, whatever. But I do like being happy, and you make me happy, this makes me happy," embarrassed now, she buried her face into his chest, hiding a shy smile. "I know you may not like it, but that isn't a lot to ask for, is it?"

Anastasia's honesty was almost painful, because Kai doubted he could ever be that honest with her, even if he did try. But he suddenly wanted to. If it made her happy he'd spend a hundred nights out on rooftops just holding her, get punched in the jaw by Johnny an equal amount of times and even tolerate the admiring stares she received from people every time they were in public, because as cliché as it was her smile was worth it. And she needed to know that.

"I can do that," said Kai finally. "Not the poetry or the sappy stuff," he added, causing her to giggle quietly. He ran his fingers through her hair, admiring the silky curls, and enjoying the fact that he could now touch her hair whenever he wanted. "But I can do the rest. I can try."

"Trying sounds nice," agreed Anastasia quietly. "I'm going to be a terrible girlfriend, just so you know."

Kai grunted. "Really?"

"I'm jealous and possessive and I'll probably yell at you more that I kiss you," she peeked up at him from where she was still resting her head against his chest, the hint of teasing clear in her eyes. "Think you can handle that?"

"I can handle you," snorted Kai. He tugged on a curl. "Come on, let's go inside before you freeze."

"Not yet," Anastasia sighed and nestled further into his arms. Kai felt her lips touch the base of his throat lightly. "Let those people leave," she mumbled. "I like it when it's just you and me."

He did too.