Sorry this chapter is a bit late, I moved yesterday and didn't have time after class to write. Here's chapter 3, which is Lilo and Stitch due to a vote on Chapter 2. Anyway, shoutout to N8100T4907H for voting! Anyway, here we go.
"I hope that this "Lilo and Stitch" person has decent chimichangas. I'm starving after brutally slaughtering those dumbass kids."
That's one, Deadpool.
"Shhhhhhhh...oot. You're right."
I know. Now, keep it cool and good.
"Ah, yes. Enslaved irony."
Precisely. Now, let me explain Lilo and Stitch. Basically, an alien escapes captivity and lands on Earth, where a lonely little girl "adopts" him and eventually they become best friends and stuff. Blah, blah, blah, big battle, the alien gets to stay with the girl, and they live happily ever after until the next 3 movies and the TV show.
"Sounds like a typical Disney franchise. Anyway, at what point in time am I?"
The first movie, but I'll leave it to you to figure out when.
"Fair enough. Now, WHERE am I?"
Hawaii. Where the movies take place (mostly).
"Ooooh, so like pineapple cocktails and thousands of coconuts and stuff?"
Stereotypical, but yes, that Hawaii. Anyway, he started walking. It was dark (around midnight), he was hungry, and it was humid outside.
"I hate humidity. When-"
He reached a medium-sized town by the beach.
"Sweet, beach town!"
Yeah, beach town. Anyway, he strolled through the town like he owned it. There was no one around, but he could hear loud music from what looked like a tourist resort. He poked his head through one of the holes in the fence, saw a bunch of people dancing like idiots, and decided he didn't want to stick around this area.
"Damn right I don't." That's two. "Shut the frick up."
He continued walking until he reached a nice, open area several yards from a road. He sat down and began to contemplate life when a giant freaking meteor landed right in front of him... only it was bright red and made of smooth metal.
Meanwhile, a couple miles away, a little girl and her sister saw it crashing down. The younger one screeched, "A shooting star! I call it! Get out, I have to make a wish!" After shoving her sister out the door, the little one knelt and prayed, "Please send someone to be my friend. Maybe an angel... The nicest angel you have..." Her sister listened and made a silent decision.
Meanwhile back at the crash, a small, blue, four armed creature crawled out, said something unintelligible, and laughed maniacally. It started to crawl down, but Deadpool scooped it up and said, "Holy fricking frick, you're adorable! I think I'll name you, "Stitch," like this movie!" It struggled but could not break free, and gave up. "Perfect, now let's get you somewhere safe from the stupid tourists."
The next day, Deadpool woke up to find Stitch gone. "No! Not my new friend! Where did he go?!"
While Deadpool was screeching madly, Stitch was sneaking away. He didn't expect to be caught by two more aliens: a large, purple, foureyed one, and a skinny, green, three legged oneeyed one. "We got him! Haha!" The purple one cackled in a Russian accent. "Call the Councilwoman. I'm getting my lab back..." Deadpool suddenly appeared, seeing them with his new friend in handcuffs, and pulled out an assault rifle called, "Hard Light," and proceeded to rain gunfire on the two aliens holding Stitch.
A minute later, all that remained was Deadpool and Stitch, who looked like he was going to have a heart attack and throw up at the same time. Deadpool stood panting, until he composed himself and picked up Stitch, who was having a panic attack. "There, those mean, scary other aliens are dead and won't hurt you anymore." He picked the handcuff locks and released Stitch. "Now, my furry, blue little friend, go wreak havoc and be freeeeeee!"
Stitch stopped his panic attack, saluted Deadpool, and ran off into the jungle cackling.
Deadpool wiped an imaginary tear from his face. "They grow up so fast. Now, gimme a cocktail." I give it to him grudgingly.
"Perfect. Now, take me awaaaaaaaaaay!"
He dissolved into nothing as he was taken back to the Google homepage. He saw, in the searchbar, the words, "Littlest Pet Shop, Harry Potter, or Fortnite?" He turns to face you, the reader, and asks an important question:
"Well? Which one, nerds? Comment on Chapter 3 where I need to go next, or no more chapters!"
