Setting: One Piece


Of Women, Rum and Loads of Fun!

Chapter 1


You know, I was pretty satisfied with how my life was turning out; I had an apartment, a job that tiresome but paid well, some savings in the bank, no immediate problems, and a pretty cool dog. But, as I'm sure is the case for many people, sometimes I wished for more adventure, something that would spice up my life.

"I didn't mean this!" I shouted to the ocean like a crazy person.

How do you react to waking up on a deserted island? Or deserted beach at least? This is just pure insanity! I distinctly remember going to sleep on my bed last night, I didn't fill up any CYOA, I didn't meet any ROB or Alien space bat, and I most certainly didn't challenge fate out loud.

I know that everything I listed is insane, but I can help it when dealing with this crazy situation! Fuck! I didn't ask for this fanfiction-bullshitery, I was supposed to write about Self-Insert not be one.

But no matter what my thoughts were, no matter how much I tried to play it off as ridiculous. It didn't change the fact that I could feel the sand shifting beneath my naked feet; the sunlight baring warmly over my skin, the sea breeze softly ruffing my hair while seagulls sang in the distance.

I… I can't say that this isn't happening; I can't dismiss all the… realness I'm feeling in favor of screaming about fanfic clichés. It'd be like I was trying to convince myself I was dreaming when my everything was telling me that I was awake.

This is real, this is really happening, I really went to sleep on my bed in a city nowhere near the ocean, and wake up facing it. NOTHING about this situation made sense, not even the possibility of being a prank; there is no way someone would go through the trouble of hauling my ass all the way here just to see my reaction. And I don't want to think about the possibility of a coma, or madness.

For all intense and proposes I really was in a desert beach somewhere, with absolutely no civilization on sight.

"FUCKKKK!" I screamed my growing fears and frustrations outwards, blowing away quite a bit of sand with my kick.

"Fuckkkkk!" This next scream came as a whine. I double down in pain, falling with my butt on the sand while I held my feet, which now was red and throbbing weirdly.

"Goddamn coconut!" Fuck you whoever buried a coconut in the sand! Fuck you to hell!

The pain actually helped me focus a little bit; taking away the reality of my situation for something more concrete, like the unnatural way my foot was throbbing.

I watched that phenomenon that brutely violated everything I knew about the human body but just was my scream started to appear my foot went back to normal, and the pain disappeared.

"The fuck was that!" I gasped. This is definitely not normal; a body part can't suddenly go deep red and start pulsing without some horrible implications behind it, much less go from that, frankly mutant, state to back to normal within a few seconds; it isn't how human's worked!

I straightened myself in the sand, my eyes still locked on my foot, observing it for any more alteration. My mind can't see to get rid of the image of my foot being red and swollen and throbbing like crazy, strangely enough, it wasn't grotesque or anything. Now that I think about it, it looked almost car… cartoony.

My foot just reddened and pulsed like that of a cartoon character receiving an injury; that should be impossible according to the world's logic.

My world's logic.

A desert beach, cartoon logic, fanfiction-bullshitery-

I slapped myself.

No no no no no, I am not in a self-insert fanfic, or in another world, or whatever crazy explanation my mind could come up, I can't be. No one sane would seriously consider this possibility no matter how genre savvy they think they are, there only so much non-sense a human's mind can conjure until going to the realm of impossible. Sure, there might be some flags raised about it, but I'm sure there was a perfectly reasonable explanation for it.

Right?

… Right!

I should just… try to figure this out.

Signing, I stood up from the sand, ready to search for any indication of where I was, how did I get there, or what to do next really. I just hope I'm not far away from…

… It wasn't a coconut.

The… fruit I was kicked early was laying in the sand a few meters before me, just a bit away from the waves of the ocean. It wasn't a coconut; that was the first thing I noticed.

The second thing… were the swirls.

"… Oh shit."

-0-0-0-

One piece was not my favorite anime. It has been for a long time, but eventually, it fell from that place, but even if it wasn't my favorite, it never fell lower than the top 5 during my entire life.

The world of One Piece, however, was my single favorite setting of any type of media ever. There are other settings just as rich, if not richer than One Piece out there, but none could compare to the sheer charm and quirkiness of the world created by Eiichiro Oda. I grew up watching One Piece, and more than once wished to be transported to its world, especially in the loneliest days of my teenagerhood.

I think that's why it was easy to… accept, my new situation, I probably should have made a snarky comment about being a fanfiction character right now, but I'm not freaking out anymore, thus don't need to lie to myself by saying this isn't real.

The devil fruit I'm holding in my hands is proof enough that my life is never going to be the same again. Plus, it's currently the only lifeline I have at the moment.

The world of One Piece is charming, incredible, wonderful, and most of all, Dangerous. And I, being a fat city boy, am perfectly aware of that fact.

This fruit might be the only thing that can give a chance of survival here. I mean, think about it; if this is a desert island, then I have no idea of how to survive long enough to be rescued, if it is inhabited, then I still have to transverse through or next to a jungle to get to civilization, and considering the animals I know exists in this world; I didn't like my chances.

And after it, when/If I get to civilization, what am I going to do!? Get a job!? I suppose I could fade into the background and try to build a life from zero, but I would still be a frail civilian in a world full of super monsters, vulnerable to whatever pirates, bandits, sea monsters, world nobles that happens to come in my way. And… I… I've been part of the unseeing mass in the past… It was comfortable, but could I really afford to do the same now, in this world of badasses!? Especially holding a key to power in my hands. Would I even want to?

…That said.

I exited my deep, ponderous thoughts to look at the devil fruit in my lap. I felt my eyebrow twitch at the sight.

There is no useless Devil Fruit; I tried to tell myself that, every power could be incredible in the hands of the right person; the main character himself was proof of that. However, given the wide variety of powers out there, I found myself dreading the one the might came from a penis-shaped fruit.

No, I'm not kidding. I figured this was supposed to be a banana of some kind, but it didn't change the fact that it looked like a freaking penis. The whole thing was very heavy and dense which explained the weight and the fact that it nearly broke my foot, the base the bunch has mutated into two swirly, spherical bulges that hang beneath the single healthy looking part. A part which was long and burly with a slight turn to the side- you know what? I'll stop describing the penis-shape fruit now.

I look helplessly at the jungle, which was looking darker and more twisted by the second. Then at the sea, the endless, uncaring sprawl of waves. Then to the seagulls in the sky, judging me.

Ah fuck, let's get to it before a transponder snail eats it or something.

I brought it to my mouth… then turned it to the side and brought it again… then tried again… realizing there was no good position for doing this, I sighed, grabbed the foreski- rind! And slowly peeled it.

… Of course it would be red with a circular purple head, and have blue, vein-like swirls along its shaft, what was I expecting…

I closed my eyes, trying to let the euphoria of being in One Piece, and about to eat a Devil Fruit! Wash through me; it did make things a little bit better until the hard, burly thing entered my mouth.

"GUH!"

My throat clamped as my stomach curling in disgust and tried to expel my last night's dinner. I don't remember opening my eyes or when they got filled with so many tears. My jaw trembled as I force my mouth closed and brought a piece of the disgusting, rancid, rotten shit inside.

I slapped my hands over my mouth and tilted my head up; because chewing was impossible, just imagining that mass of disgust turning to a mash of… whether this shit is to go in or out and is going to be decided in the next second.

Finally, in what felt like an eternity, the fruit descended down my throat, and I felt like a human being again.

"AH fuck!" I spat of the ground trying to get rid of the leftover taste. The rest of the headless penis-shape fruit already discarded. "Never again! Never fucking again, I prefer death!"

After that, I just leaned on a nearby coconut tree and just… waited, trying to process everything that had happened and the fact I have some kind of superpower now.

God, I hope I don't become something like the Dick Dick Man. If I had to choose I would probably go with Sex Sex man or something. Yeah, that'd awesome.

… I don't feel any different.

"Right, it's obviously not a universal solution, I'm still stranded on a desert island." Or desert beach, kinda important, but I confess that if I find a town within a few minutes walk I'll be a little peeved. "No use waiting around here I suppose…"

I stood up, ready to look for civilization or if this fails, try to survive.

I really hope this fruit will be a good safety net.

-0-0-0-

It took me minutes walking on the beach (Because no way I'd start by the jungle) to notice the smell.

It was the most distinct and weird smell I ever… smelled. I was never good at using any sense beyond vision and hearing, but this smell was a different story; I could practically see it's trail if I close my eyes; it was impossible to explain or describe. It was like a trail of bright pink surging from the forest and going to my nose. I was immediately intrigued and attracted to it.

Devil Fruit bullshitery; I bet my soul its devil fruit bullshitery, there is no way something such alien would feel so natural.

Smell Smell man, maybe?

The place it was coming from gave me pause, though. It would be the first time in my life that I'd enter a forested area without someone to guide me; hell, it was my first time entering a potentially dangerous forest area.

But… I'm a devil fruit user now… and this is the world of One Piece, I can't live like I used to anymore.

… Right?

In the end, I took a deep breath. And trusted my fruit.

-The bullet loudly cracked the tree I was hiding behind; I stumble to the ground by how close it was. My hand went to my mouth to stifle the little scream.

Fuck trusting my fruit! Devil Fruits can't be trusted. I should have fucking know!

Behind me, a brutal scene was unfolding.

All over the coastal clearing that I had come across after a few hours walking, there were broken men sprawled about, unconscious or worse. Discarded weapons decorated the floor, the dirt was painted red in multiple parts, and most importantly; the one responsible for it was still laughing about it.

"Gyahahaha! Magnify! I fell so free! So light! So, this is the power of a Fruit!"

Have you ever seen a man die? Or more specifically; a man having his head crushed by an oversized metal club? Let me tell you, the sight, the sound of the impact, the last scream he gave, all just burned into my memory. It was a sight I didn't expect to see in the One Piece world, and I knew I'd never forget.

In a way, this was completely understandable given the context of the series; the manga never shied always from violence, but there is only so much it could show in a Shounen series.

What would be a cool panel in the manga became utterly horrifying to witness in reality; outside of the screen, violence was a lot less picturesque... Especially when a familiar character was responsible to it.

"HIH! Back off! Back off or I-I will kill you, bitch!" I drew myself back when I saw the bruised man limping in my direction, only to fall to the ground and pull two flintlock pistols from his belt. He turned around and pointing to the figure swaying toward him.

The shots echoed across the field but none seem to hit the woman, holes opened on her too-loose clothes but that's it. Her smug smile only grew as she waved her hands to the side and gave a quiet twirl.

"Shot me, slash me, punch me, it's all the same! All just slide over my perfect skin!" She stopped, looming over the fallen man, a look of pure malice on her dark green eyes. "Now tell me little pig, who is the fairest in the seas?"

Alvida, fucking Alvida, literally the first person Luffy's sent flying and the first small villain of the series, casually wiped out a group of armed guys.

And for some reason, she was the source of the smell I've been following.

There was a shrill scream, followed by a loud impact. A body landed right next to me. I reflexively took a look at it and saw the bloody holes in its flattened face.

"SHIT!" I screeched fearfully, throwing myself away for it… and away for my cover.

"Oh? Another little pirate was hidden in the blushes?"

Shit, Shit, SHIT!

Alvida zeroed in on me and started walking, calmly swinging her spiked club to the side to clean some of the blood. I could feel her amusement for the way I dragged myself backward.

"Hmmm, I don't recognize you, little pirate. Did you stray a bit too far when I met your crew?" She projected that dark amusement on her voice, tasting each word. "Gyahaha! My sorry for what I did to them, but you see, these are the kind of men that just can't handle my natural charms and try to be a little too adventurous. Is only right that'd punish them." She purred. "Thank you very much for the ship, by the way. I thought I would be stranded on this island for much longer."

C-Calm down! This is Alvida, freaking Alvida. She is part of Buggy's joke villain crew, she's hardly the worse thing the world could throw at me right now, no matter how scary she looked when breaking those guys.

"Now what to do, what to do, you didn't exactly cross me like your mates, but I can't let you walk away neither, my reputation is in stake!" She looked at me like she'd seen a bug. "Well, let's do it like this; a single swing! If you survive, you survive! If you don't… well, you can't say I wasn't merciful."

A single… swing?

The woman kicked the ground with one foot and sent her body twirling in place at an amazing speed like there wasn't a single resistance against any movements she was making. I could see the enormous black shape of the spiky club rising high.

H-Hey Devil Fruit? That would be an excellent time for you to activate, Devil fruit? Devil Fruit!

"The Fairest's Mercy Kissss!"

A wall of metal met my face. I felt everything at an invisible distance; the impact, the piercing, the way my body was launched backward. The world blinks into black and red for a while, and things started losing shape.

Darkness came, and for some reason, I was deeply afraid of it; it was a terrible feeling that if I let it take over my vision I would never see again.

Something in a body moved, something gurgled, the already nonsensical reality began to lose even more sense. My vision, hearing, my smell, my everything was tangled in an unshaped goo, and the darkness in the back of my mind pushed forward.

I'd say I screamed when the pain came, but I think I only gurgled. The new sharp, aching feeling made things better, and much, much worse. I wasn't rooted in incomprehension anymore, but now I knew just how fucked up I was.

The darkness surged, I had to fight against it, god I had to fight against it! I don't know why, but I can't let it consume me!

I'm dying… Oh fuck, oh fuck I'm dying… I realize that now

Please, please someone save me…

I… Please… Someone… Anymore… I don't want to die…

… Please

… Please

No one… is… comin…

Do… Don't screw with me…

I… will not die from this.

I refuse to die like this.

The darkness stopped at the last breach of light.

I open my eyes to my bloody clothes. I figured I must've been thrown on a tree and curled as my body slid to the ground. I could see my arms and legs… pulsing, and the new holes on my torso closing.

My body… It's tingling.

My vision shifted briefly as my face popped back in place, my nearly regenerated nostrils started to pull large gulps of air, drawing in that intoxicating smell, it was now much more intense than before.

I straightened myself against the wood, feeling my bones shake and pop in weird place as they expanded. The tingling was insane now; I could feel it all over me as my fat retreated and was replaced by pure muscle.

I open my mouth to let out a gasp as the coursing of something new burned its way inside, something that overflowed in the form of a faint pink mist that was expelled on my breath. I didn't have time to consider what that was before the tingling started concentrating on my back, my lower back and my temples. Soon, something else popped out.

The fabric of my clothes screamed as it stretched, little tears appeared all over it. My shirt, in particular, got so tight it made my breathing harder, then the thing on my back pulsed again, and I heard my shirt rip as the thing exploded behind me.

New, aliens muscles reacted instantly, making the thing flap once and procure a strong gust of wind.

"Wings?" I couldn't recognize the sound of my own voice, it was so deep and intense, and that way it reverberated across the air almost made it tremble. My body fell forward as I tried to put my tingling legs under me.

The hand I see before me was pink, a deep hot pink with black nails jutting forward to form claws, with each pulse it got bigger in size, the fingers were rasping on the ground, cracks were forming.

Something bubbled inside my chest, and my body moved on its own. Guided by new, old instinct or something more, I threw my back, feeling the bubble in my chest rise up my throat.

"OOOOOOORRRWWWWWW!"

An announcement? A statement? A Challenger? I don't know, I don't care, I just needed to roar, make my existence to known to the world.

Finally, the tingling stopped, and I rose higher than I ever had before.

"W-What is that!?" My eyes focused on the female in front of me, she took a step back. "Is that the power of a Devil Fruit!?"

She looked… delicious.

Her loose clothes didn't do justice to the majesty of her curves. However, the shirt has been intentionally ripped to hold only the large swell of her breasts and leave the creamy white belly, the slender waist, the shapely hips and the succulent cleavage to my gaze. Her wavy, midnight colored locks fells artistically from the stylish cowgirl hat on her head to her back and shoulders, framing a wonderfully feminine face with sharp aristocratic features. Her lips had a faint red even without any lipstick, and the dark green eyes had the same natural beauty of a lust forest jungle; the way they keep getting bigger only increase their ability to draw me in.

And the way she smelled, oh god her smell… It was magical

An odd mixture of a moan and a grumble came from my throat. I took a step forward.

A large spiky club was pointed at my direction.

"DO NOT MOVE!" She boomed, her strong independent woman's voice made me chuckle. I took another step, and her nostrils flared as a charming blush began to appear. "NOT ANOTHER STEP MONSTER! I-I'M WARMI-ng you." Her voice broke as I stepped closer again; this is fine too; fierce and challenging, or quiet and demure; either one fits her perfectly.

"Sube Sube Dash!"

She was the one who stepped closer this time- Or rather, slid.

"The Fairest's straight kiss!" The club was trusted into my gut; it carried the momentum of her fast slid, but it failed even to make me stumble; I felt the poking of the spikes against my skin.

Alvida… Alvida; that was her name, so lovely. She slowly trailed her eyes over my form, going up my muscular chest until they met my face. I noticed that I was looming over her… that I even could loom over her. Looming to the point my shadow was darkening her expression completely; funny, she looked so tall a minute ago.

She was going to flinch back, I don't know how I knew this, but I didn't want this to happen, so I gently touched her hand, carefully warping my oh so large digits on her grip. Naturally, she yielded, and the brutish weapon fell to the ground.

"Eh?" Her tiny gasp was so cute, so satisfying to hear. My large fingers interlined the best they could with her dainty ones. My black, unnaturally sharp claws not even coming close to harming her.

"W-What?" She looked at our contact, no doubt feeling the same warmth. My other hand rose, gently touching her delicate chin and raising her face up to me. She was blushing blighting now. Her nostrils flared with quick breaths. "W-W-What's happening?" Came the broken whisper. I let my claw trail over her fine features, her high cheekbones, her feminine jaw, her plump lips. Not hurting, never hurting; she wouldn't forgive a mark on her face.

I loomed closer; slowing lowering my face while my hand went to massage her slender neck. For a second, we were separated by the milliliters. Her dark greens were swirling with a mighty internal conflict as I gaze into it with my calm pools. She was at the edge, and I somehow knew exactly what to do.

So I pulled back, just a little, but the idea of my retreat set off an alarm inside her, and she gave herself to the crave.

Mine… I thought as her arms warped around my shoulder and our lips met.

-0-0-0-

There was a ship flying pirate colors anchored near the bay.

"Who the fuck are you!? What did you do to our captain-AGRR!"

"DIE MONSTER DIE!"

"S-Stay back! Stay Back, I say!"

I barely registered the few males waving their sharp sticks and firing their peashooters at me. One flip of my wrist and they're gone, flying away above the endless sea.

My attention was solely focused on the female leaned on my side. She walked with a wobbly stride, moaned with each breath and the layer of sweat over her milky skin gave her wonderful smell just the right amount of kick.

I could feel her embarrassment; it was clear that even if she doesn't mind showing a lot of skin, she wasn't used to being completely naked in public. Her breasts were tightly pressed against my naked torso, and her hand kept wandering to cover her privates. It didn't matter if most of the men we encounter were more concern with the immediate danger to their safety than her sensual form.

She cornered from their eyes, trying to protect her vulnerable state, but she couldn't hide her smell, couldn't hide how she liked it.

She gasped as I grasped her shoulder and maneuvered her to the front. My arms enveloping her to her sides, going over the insanely smooth curves, with my right hand slowing going to her drenched loins.

"Ah! W-Wait-"

"Let them see." I tasted the skin of her neck, slowing bringing my left hand to the cup of her breast. "Let them see the fairest of the sea, and to whom she belongs."

A moan, so sweet, so full of need, a perfect melody to my ears. I smiled as I prompted her forward.

Her passionate breathing filled the hallway leading the captain's chandler. Her hands came to rest over my working fingers, which had long since figured the way she liked to be treated. The real gem was below, to the soft buds that while not virgin, had seen so little action they might as well be. They were a find, so smooth, so lovely, so tight. I didn't dare explore further so to not ruin the main course.

Two more men were guarding the captain's chambers. They had hesitated when they saw the figure of raw sexuality on my hands; this gave enough time for the new set on muscles in my lower back to reflexivity react and Launch forward my new black-furred tail with the strength of a heavy metal whip. The two men were embedded in the walls; their consciousness didn't last a single second more.

I made a nice discovered about how handy this new tail thing might come to be when it immediately coiled around the handle and opened the door. I pay no mind to it as I enter the lavish chamber.

Bed.

"Ow!" Alvida gasped as she was thrown into it, her spark of anger told me she was close to the edge. I evaporated that part by clawing open my jeans, my last piece of clothing.

The woman let a strangled breath, her green eyes fixated on my black-colored member, which was promotional to my new size.

She jumbled a word as she tried to speak, having to gulp the saliva before trying again. "Ah… It's…" She panted heavy as I climb on the bed, the approach made difficult for her to form any more words. "It… won't… fit." A speck of fear in the growing anticipation.

"It will." I moved over her, bring my face closer again. "Trust me." the words were punctuated by a gust of pink smoke that made her eyes roll back when it hit her nostrils. "Nothing will ever feel as good..."

Our lips met again and the combination of the effects of the smoke and the passionate contact set off her orgasm, her body bucked under mine, shaking intensely before I spread open her legs and positioned myself against her quivering entrance.

A drunken wail of pain and pleasure echoed as I slid in, her folds spreading to their limits to accommodate my new girth, all while the powerful orgasm was still in effect. My passage was smooth, oh so very smooth with an ever-present warmth that wrapped around myself in the tightest grip. I pressed her quaking body against my own, mixing my fire into her as I went deeper.

Somewhere along the way, Alvira, the fairest of women of the sea, broke. I felt her everything yielding to my new instinctual power.

I didn't start slow and went on a crescendo to take my partner to her peak, there was no need to as she was already at her peak, the only thing left was to take her further, to celebrate my new acquisition.

Never in my life, I felt like this, my mind, body, and soul roar in euphoria amoung for the fulfillment of my new instincts.

More.

I grabbed her hands from where she was ripping the mattress, flipping her to her belly so I could see the sweaty art piece she calls a back, and lick it.

More.

My hands warped around her arms as my body pinned hers. Her wails were slowing being replaced by small, dumb little sounds of someone who was more sex toy than a person. I bet I could get her singing again.

More.

My hips slammed against hers in a ferocious frequency, my dick pulled some of her walls outside with each pull, and made a clear outline on her belly in each push. She moaned, she wailed, she screamed, and more importantly; she went insane with a special kind of pleasure she could never reach without me.

All while her new heart-shaped tattoo glowed beautifully on her crouch.


A/Notes: Why Alvida is there?: Right after she was punched to the sky, courtesy of the rubber man, she fell on the sea and was abandoned by her old crew, she washed in the sands of the desert island this chapter take place in, and eat her devil fruit there, becoming hot as fuck in the process, she spent a few days there learning how to use her powers before a group of no-name pirates arrive to bury their treasure, seeing the gorgeous woman alone in the forest they tried to do what most of pirates do best and got utterly destroyed. If this was canon she would have take the ship, exchange it for a smaller one somewhere along the way, then met Buggy later.

MC's devil fruit;

In japanese: Yoma Yoma no mi, model: Incubus.

In english: Demon Demon Fruit, model: Incubus.

It's a Mythical Zoan, obviously.