Setting: One Piece.


Of Women, Rum and Loads of Fun!

Chapter 4


"Well, this place sure is… memorable." I commented, fighting a mighty blush.

"Humph, they expanded." Alvida crossed her arm under her breasts.

This is a cabaret; there is no doubt about it.

Robust laughter, excited cheering, and feminine giggles filled the air along with clicking of mugs and plates and the occasional drop of something made of glass. All around us were men drinking rivers of alcohol in the middle of the day, women wearing slutty versions of sixteenth-century dresses flaunting themselves and engaging in flirtatious conversations with those men, all while trying to keep their hands from going too high on their naked thighs. The bar on the side held several men wearing similar outfits that have just ganged up on another one and threw him out through a glassless window. On the wide stage further into the room, a group of women wearing tiny skirts and low cleavages was dancing to the happy tune the played on the background, they seem to be losing more and more pieces of the clothes in each 'misstep', to the delight of the horny crowd. Above, on the railing of the second floor, women with considerable fewer clothes were suggestively displaying their curves while making calling gestures to the horndogs below, they usually succeed in their task and end up dragging a man or two with hearts in their eyes to further into the floor, presumably where the rooms were.

Every single woman here was like a burning star to my senses, and not only because every one of them was gorgeous, leagues above the women from the port and the streets around it, but because of their scent; every single woman here had a distinct aroma that smells just as good as Alvida's.

That… threw a wrench on my idea that the freshness of their smell was related to the numbers of men they had slept with because Alvida wasn't a virgin before we met, but she definitely wasn't experienced either, but these women, they are clearly… well…

Moving on. "The person you know is here?" I asked from the corner of my mouth, trying not to trail after a passing waitress that had the back of her long skirt removed.

"Sure, but we have to find her first, this place has become too damn big." She moved to the bar, and I followed after her, the group of uniformed men threw looks at us, raunchy ones for Alvida and glares for me, but they didn't try anything.

Alvida reached the counter and loudly smacked it, in any other bar that would have focused the attention to her, but apparent in a pirate one, it was Tuesday. "I'm looking for Anastasia! Tell me where she is!" She shouted at the bartender.

I had to double take when I saw the bartender; it isn't every day you find someone essentially dressed in a cheap Halloween ghost costume. Her entire body was covered by a thick poncho that covered her head to toe, with a hood that conceived her whole head, that had two holes for the big, yellow eyes on its face.

The only thing that indicated she was female was the two sizable bumps on her chest area and the dainty hands that were raised in a pacifying manner. I don't know how I should react to her, but the other patrons didn't seem to care, or even find it strangle.

"Ah-ahh… You can't… I-I mean… Y-You can go around asking unreasonable things like that…" The bartender staggered, if I didn't know she was female already, the soft girly voice would definitely clue me in. "Hum-I mean… Y-You can't just demand to…"

Alvida smacked the table once again, making the bartender flinch with an audible yelp.

"Shut the hell up! Don't you know who am I!? Just go call that crackly bitch. She will receive me!"

"Ah-ahh! D-D-Don't insult Madam l-like that!... Y-You meaner!"

"What did you call me!?" Alvida, the violent pirate captain, threatened to jump across the counter. She only stopped because I put my hand on her shoulder.

"Alvida, let's not cause a scene now, ok?" I looked to the cornered bartender. "I apologize for my friend, but we really need to talk with this Anastasia lady. Apparently, she and Alvida here know each other. I'm sure she wouldn't mind seeing us."

The bartender was still so far back in the bar that her back was almost touching the liquor shelf, but she seems to relax just a tiny bit.

"I-I'm afraid that's impossible sir, Madam doesn't receive guest without an appointment. She specifically said- Ahahh I-it's alright Hild-san! They are not unruly anymore!"

Why would this Anastasia, apparent the Madam of this place, said something like that? And why would this be relevant to the matter at hand?

It wasn't until Alvida cursed and turned around with her hand on her weapon, that I realize that there was someone just behind me.

The woman standing behind me was a silent wall of pure stoicism. Her implacable dark eyes seem to be constantly looking down on us while somehow staying absolutely indifferent at the same time. Her body was an amazing contradiction; it seems that nature saw fit to bless her with an extremely curvaceous figure, but she did everything in her power to fight that destiny by cultivating raw, bulging power. The results were muscles so powerful and defined that would match any bodybuilder back on my world, compressed in sexy female form that would usually be compromised due to the trained required to achieve that level of musculature.

And all those layers of strength and attractive curves were proudly being displayed by the skimpy leather get up she was wearing… It also did nothing to hide the numerous scars that marked the bronze skin.

She didn't react to our looks of alarm, choosing instead to hoist the enormous poleaxe that has been aimed at our necks a second ago on her shoulder.

Holy crap, how can she move so silently with that thing!?

"Bitch!" Alvida scorned, obviously affected by her inability to detecting the blade that could've taken her life. "How do you think you are sneaking around me like that!?" Her grip on the handle of her club tightened.

Oh boy.

"AGRHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

A loud scream echoed across the room overpowering even the music in the stage. A man with an extraordinarily big mouth stumbled his running steps and fell off from the stair in a painful long downwards roll. Two things immediately became clear: He was naked, and he was holding his nether regions.

"I hope I was clear enough this time, dear custome~." A blonde bombshell appeared on the top of the stairs. She seems utterly unbothered by her nakedness, or the eyes leering it. "Enjoying yourself without paying is a big no-no around here~." She said with a big, cutesy smile. Her fingers were skillfully twirling a bloody knife. "I hope this chop-chop was enough to remind you of that. So do go around trying that move the next time ok. Oh, wait…" She still held on the cutesy act even as she raised her other hand to show a bloody- Oh shit!… Me and every other male patron here subconsciously crossed our legs. "I guess there won't be a next time! Teehee!"

"Captain!" The various declarations from the uniformed group next to us broke through the silence as they rushed to their downed captain side.

"Argh! Argh!" The man tried to speak through the wet gargles and tears of pain. My brain had just stopped processing it all when some of the sounds he was making became coherent. "K-Kill, Argh, Argh KILLL EVERY BITCH IN HERE!"

"Y-yes captain!" His subordinates shouted and started pulling their weapons. I didn't realize I had started to move until Alvida pulled me back.

And it seems I didn't need to do anything because in the next second an arsenal of guns was cocked in the group's direction. Most of them were in the hand of the women from the establishment.

Did they just… went from flirtatious fun to cold death seriousness in one second? What the fuck is going on!?

"Kyahahaha! What is this ruckus first thing in the morning!?" The blonde girl on top of the stair gasped a moan when someone spanked her ass while passing.

…Oh

… Oh my god.

I can deal with the new cartoony humans from my new reality. Hell, I've read One Piece, so I can even appreciate them on some level; a cartoonish ugly and fat woman was easy to tolerate, it really was.

But must she be wearing a low cut dress that reveals wayyy more than anyone would possibly want to see?

The woman cocked her hips to the side; a huge leg slid from the cut of her skirt as she descended the stairs, layers of fat jiggled.

"Ah! I get it now! You and your little passé are new here! Kyahahaha!" It jiggles, oh god, why it jiggled?

"Well boys, let me formally introduce you to my humble establishment; the beautiful, famous, majestic Hole of Delights!" She announced with her arms spread wide. Fat dangled from those arms. "The only place in this entire town where you can get great drinks, great entertainment, and great women!" She cocked her worldly hip again, almost at the end of the steps. There was a smile on her face; it made her features curl bizarrely. "And I can personally guarantee that last part; each woman here has been handpicked and trained to be leagues above the rest, they aren't those no good hussies you find anywhere else. Here, they have grace, beauty, fierceness, and most important…" She winked, babies cried because of that wink. "Are more than willing to show you an unforgettable time."

"However." The woman growled darkly though the smile still on her face. "To be able to enjoy all these great pleasures, one must be able to follow a particular set of rules, simple rules that even a pirate can understand: 'Do not bother others with your fights', 'No excessive roughness until previous agreement, and more importantly: 'Always pay what you're due.'"

The squirming man on the floor, still gargling from his wound, roared to his crew once again. "K-KILL THEM, KILL THEM ALL!"

The others looked around to the numerous guns pointed at them and, showing an amazing display of loyalty and stupidity, draw their own weapons and roared changeling to the rest. I swear I saw eyes rolling.

The obese woman's high heels finally meet the wooden board on the first floor. "Brunhild! Show these fine gentlemen what happens when you don't follow these rules!"

Suddenly, a lager axe head fell right on top of the head of the loudest roarer. Only the fact that it dropped on its flat side prevented the shower of blood that would pain the onlookers if the axe descended in any other way. My heart skipped a beat when I saw the tall, muscular woman standing right in the middle of the crew. When the hell did she get there!?

The next following minutes consisted of the muscular woman breaking these men. And she did so without any effort; in fact, her oversized weapon stayed on her shoulders the whole time. She used only one hand to put up a display of brutality to graphic to put into words.

I watched her and a group of girls dragging the bloody men out, realizing now this place was no set security below perhaps the muscular woman. I don't know if this was due an oversight, or to send a message saying that these girls were so badass that they didn't need security in a town full of pirates. They were the security.

Then, everyone went back to what they were doing like nothing had happened. The music restarted, the show continued, jokes and laughs about what had happened started.

I… My mind flashed back to the sight of a severed human's part in a delicate hand cloaked with blood, to the sight of flesh and bones yielding to strong punches that were consciously delivered in the parts where it would make them bleed, to the looks of desperation while they tried to run… Such a casual display of brutality... I don't even…

But then again, am I not guilty of the same thing? Even now, if I get distracted, I can still feel bodies breaking under by transformed fingers. God, I've been there for a few days and already done things that would have made the old me puke.

"Kyahahaha! There now that this unpleasantness is over, we can move on to the fun. A FREE ROUND OF DRINKS FOR EVERYONE! For having to put up with this."

A roaring cheer echoed across the cabaret.

I shook my head and those thoughts aside, pointing at the happy, fat woman in the center of the room.

"So Alvida, is this Anastasia? She certainly acts like she owns the place… Alvida?"

Alvida was not here.

"So you finally show up!" I heard Alvida's voice beckoning from the stairs, and found her in the fat woman's way.

"Hum? Who are you, little girl? Do I know you from somewhere?" The obese lady squinted her eyes, panting a hand on her chin as she leaned forward to examine Alvida's body. "Say, why don't you come to work here? You look like you have a future in the business! Kyahahaha!"

Fucking hell!

I started making my way through the crowd, hoping to god I'd able to reach them before Alvida… before she…

She didn't go for her weapon; in fact, she just smiled.

"Ehhhhh" A really really smug smile. "So you don't recognize me, Gyahahaha! And you have the gall to call yourself the smart sister."

I stopped.

Hold on. What!?

Alvida has a sister!? But how!? Why!? There wasn't anything about that in the… series…

This is not the series anymore.

"Huh! What are you insinuating girl, my sister looks nothing like you!" Anastasia buffed, oh god, now I can see the similarities to the first episode's Alvida. They could've been twins once upon a time. "Now piss off before you start to really annoy me."

Alvida rolled her eyes. "I was afraid that would happen. Ah, well." She leaned forward, pointing to her face. "Try to image me… with freckles."

"What!?" I burst off out loud. What the hell is she on about… Oh hell, she can't expect to-

"EHHH ALVIDA!?"

"WHAT!?" I exclaimed at the sight of the sisters hugging.

There is no way she could have recognized her with just… H-How is that makes any sense.

"Kyahaha! You sure as hell never cease to amaze me, and to think you look even better without your freckles."

"Gyahaha! And you with that dress, that haircut! My god, you're still beautiful!"

"Indeed! The fairest sisters as always!"

I… I don't even… ok.

-0-0-0-

I've been abandoned.

To be fair, Alvida looked back once as she was dragged upstairs by her sister and left me alone in the middle of a raunchy cabaret. This isn't my first time in these kinds of places, but it's still uncomfortable to be left alone in here.

With nothing to do but wait, I made my way to the bar, skillfully doubting a couple of girls who were giving me weird looks while at it. The counter was empty now that the pirate crew has been thrown out, for most of the attention still focused on the show, which now seen the addition of the naked blonde bombshell.
I placed my arms over the counter while sitting in one of the stools. The ghost bartender was nowhere to be seen, but I bet I could smell her-

Sweet, intense yet soft, a blissful lavender that left my nose tingling, the aroma that spread across my entire senses and almost drowns out the rest of the world. I sighed, feeling the tension leaving me as the smell seems to make the problems and doubts go away and slowly feed a growing warm inside my chest. I almost transformed right there to feel more of this wonderful, wonderful scent.

Eventually, I stopped taking deep breaths like a weirdo and concentrated.

The bartender was hidden beneath the counter right in front of me, as indicated by the trembling fingers gripping the edge. I instinctively knew her count was a big fat zero. She was a virgin; this was a virgin's smell.

I unconsciously shifted myself on the stool, trying to make the bulge less noticeable. Goddamn, weird fruit powers! It's like smelling a living wet daydream. I can't even describe how much I want to...

…I really got to stop breathing women's sex history.

"Is…is it over?" Dear God, her voice is even cuter now that I'm listening up close.

"If you talking about that crew and the unfortunate event that befell on them. Then yeah."

The bartender slowly raised herself; yellow eyes dashing around like a frightened kitten. She stumbled a little at the sight of the blood on the floor… or the amount of it.

"I…I'm not good with violence." She explained meekly.

"Evidently," I said, inspecting her cheap ghost costume again. "Why are you wearing this?"

She quickly straightened herself; her eyes visibly darted to the side. "I-I have a severe skin condition!" She chatted.

… Is this one of those One Piece gags were a character is so bad at lying that it's literally impossible for anyone to not see it?

"Ok… Name's Nicholas by the way." Even though Alvida was trying to change it to Darling.

"Oh, I-I'm Lena…" She leans forward a bit. "Are you ok, mister Nicholas, hum, you look kinda down?"

"What are you talking about?" I blinked, rubbing the back of my neck. "Whatever, just give me something cold."

I looked at her. She looked at me. Then, she blinked and perked out.

"Oh!"

I smiled, "First day?"

"Ah… O-On the bar. Excuse me!"

She rushed back to the liquor cabinet, almost bumping on the shelves in the process.

There was a rustling, and a glass falling… or two…

"Are you ok in back there?" I called.

"Y-Yes, just a-Ahhah! Here! One special Frozen Stone Rum coming right up!"

She tripped over the edge of her poncho and fell face-first on the floor. I tilted my head to let the bottle fly past.

The tearful groan that followed was so adorable it made me chuckle. So cute.

-0-0-0-

Apparently, mixing drinks was a thing on One Piece, but they're certainly not up to modern standard.

Great way to make friends, though.

"Then, after you make sure the lime is well mixed you top it all of with beer, I'd use ginger beer, but we have to make do with what we have." I proceeded to put the skill I acquired by working in my cousin's bar for a summer to practice. The result was a shit taste cocktail that still leagues better than what these pirates usually drunk. A rush of a "wooooahhh" passed through the crowd around me.

One man on the side stole the drink and drank it down.

"Delicious! Absolutely delicious! Damn son that's the best thing I ever drank in me damn life, I could cry right now!" He announced happily to the crowd's cheers.

Lena clapped her hands enthusiastically, her golden eyes shining. "So, Elite!" She gushed

Brunhild, the muscular woman with a poleax, who has moved to the shorter bartender's side to stay close to the crowd of increasingly drunken pirates, nudged the bartender with her elbow.

"Eh? Oh! T-That will be 1.000 bellis, sir!" She got nudged harder. "10.000!"

"What!? 10.000 for a cup! That's sealing!" The guy shouted.

"Ah-ahh, I-I'm apologize, I'll make it up to you right-" Brunhild growled and nudged the girl again. "It will be 100.000, sir!" Lena shouted quickly.

"WHAT!? BITCH, ARE YOU MOCKING ME!?" He tried to get over the counter, but Brunhild's fist brook his front teeth and send him back to the crowd, where he was thoroughly stripped of any goods.

I'd be shocked if this was the first time this happened, but it was the fifth. Those pirates never learn.

The muscular woman wasn't spoken yet; she just gestured and stayed utterly unfazed by anything. But now that I could look close, I could almost see a glint of humor in the deadpaniness of her eyes. I'm almost surprised at myself for catching this; usually, I'm not very good at reading people.

"Hey, hey bro, can you do gin!? Do something with gin!"

"Beer! Make beer out of rum! That's what they do in North Blue, right!?"

"Here is me mum's ashes, pour it into something good, so I can drink it!"

"We have wine!" Lena actually managed to speak over the calls of the crowd. "Hum, it's not really popular, but –hum- what can you do with it?"

I smiled warmly and took the glass from her hands while she averted her eyes. Now, what can I do with wine…

Quite a lot, it turned out. I had a few people declaring it their favorite drinks, an exorbitant a of money was made, and a few teeth were knocked out.

I'm starting to think that's how pirate bars operate.

"What is all that ruckus!? Didn't I made myself clear early!?"

The voice broke through the crowd. The pirates quickly parted to show Anastasia and Alvida standing right at the edge, the contrast between sisters was so big it wasn't even funny.

"Darling~!" Alvida threw herself at me, of course. "I'm so so sorry for leaving you like that, that damn Anastasia wouldn't let me out to get you! I told her this was no time for…"

"That 'damn Anastasia' is right here, you know?" The Madam approached with heavy steps. The people from the crowd saw her expression and quickly found another thing to do. Most had dispersed by the time she reached me, but there was still some spying from the corner of their eyes.

A fat hand lash out and griped my face, bringing me closer to the obese woman while I cried sounds of protests. Goddamn, she must be as strong as Alvida, so way stronger than me in my base from.

"So you're the 'darling' my little sister wouldn't stop gushing about." She practically growled the word, fuck what did I do!?

"Oi Anastasia!" Alvida actually growled, her hand no doubt starting to pull the club. "I just told you to not do this. Darling is the man I chose! This does not concern you-"

"Little sisters should shut up while the older ones do their job." The grip is starting to become uncomfortable, and not only because of the ugly face positioned right before my eyes. "Look at me, boy."

"Let me go-"

"Look. At. Me!"

Ok… her eyes were a bit scary, two emerald green orbs a shade lighter than Alvida's, but they burned with a fire I'd never seen before. They were glaring at me with such intensity I thought they would dig holes through my skull.

I had always believed that cliché term of 'looking into the very soul" wasn't a thing in real life, but if this isn't it, then I don't know what is.

Eventually, she let out a breath and releases me. "An indecisive man, eh? Never thought she would go for one of these." She let out a disappointed sigh, turning her back to me. "Whatever, I don't care. Hopefully, she'd exchange it for a better bed warmer in the future, ah, that troublesome sister of mine." She spoke as if to herself, not even acknowledging me.

… That deeply offended me for some reason.

"Hey lady, I know you're the owner of this establishment and everything, but you shouldn't go around talking to people like-"

"Blah blah blah, words words words! Even when you're pissed you're polite. Where do you think you are boy? If I'm pissing you off that tell me to go fuck myself, don't go politely suggesting what I should or shouldn't do." She twisted her fat neck to send me a look of pure disdain. "Honestly, where did Alvida find you? A posh cruise ship or something."

… I should flatten her ugly mug right there, right now. If she is as strong as Alvida, then I can throttle her even in my half-beast form… But she is also Alvida sister, and our contact to a decent ship merchant, plus I don't think Alvida would appreciate.

A loud bang of metal rang across the place. I almost flip out because it happened right at my ear. I snapped an angry glare around and found Alvida grinding her weapon against Brunhild's poleax. She looked like a woman possessed.

People turned to watch the show, of course.

"How there you, disrespecting my darling like that." Alvida's tone with dripping in anger, only now I noticed her weapon was in route to Anastasia's head before the muscular security lady got in the way. "Unforgivable, utterly unforgivable!"

"You raise a weapon to your own flesh and blood because of a man!? This is why I told you to work for me! A pretty woman like you shouldn't be this naïve to male's nature!"

"SILENCE! SUBE SUBE SIDESLIP!"

"GAH YOU'RE HOPELESS! BRUNHILD, USE CUT!"

Thus, the inevitable battle started, Lena was kind enough to let me take cover under the counter while the fight escalated across the place.

"My, I never seem Madam so lively!" Lena commented, she was poking her shining yellow eyes over the counter from time to time, from the sounds and her occasional narration; things are starting to get silly.

"Sure," I mumble, content to stare at an old discoloration on the wall.

Fuck, I not used to be insulted for nothing. What right does that bitch have to talk to me like that!? I'm stronger than her, in my other forms at least, I'm smarter than, and I'm certainly better looking. I should have transformed and taught her a lesson. That would've put that rude woman on her place and…

I sighed.

Maybe I should just cool off for a bit before I do something I'd regret.