Shopping at the Mall for New Clothes and Girlfriend for Soos

Hello everyone, hope everyone is doing alright with staying indoors and at home with the Corona Virus going around.

Well here's chapter 7, have fun reading it. PS. I do not own the rights to Gravity Falls or to anything else that I am referencing.

'Bill thinking'
'Dipper thinking'
"Bill mind talking"
"Dipper mind talking"


The next morning at the Mystery Shack, Business was move smoothly for Stan customers coming in to see what's on the shelfs and what's for sale.

A small kid flipping a coin while sucking on his lollipop minding his own business until Stan pops out crying out "Hello." scaring the poor boy, "Please, don't let my horrible elderly face frighten you. Don't you want to use that nickel to get a nugget from old Goldie?" Stan pulls a sheet off of an old robot vender machine of a old pan mining man.

The sight of it made the kid feel very unsure about it. "Watch this!" said Stan as he insert a nickel into the machine, it look aright at first, but then sparks, oil grease leaks, fake eyeballs popping out of the sockets and screeching yells from the robotic itself. All in all, it made the poor boy cry and run away.

Wendy saw the whole thing and said "Okay, seriously, Mr. Pines. It's time to throw that thing out. Its face reminds everybody of the inevitability of death." "What?!" Stan said "Sure, he's a little rusty around the edges, but old Goldie is a classic show-stopper, like me." Stan should have paid attention where his was resting, because it slipped in the ink grease and got his arm trap in Goldie's jaws. "Aaaah! Kill it! KIIILLL IIIITTT!" he cries as he bangs on it hoping it'll release him.

Meanwhile, Soos was finishing up hanging the new T-shirts when he notice a tall pretty blue eyes and orange ponytail hair lady checking out the snow globes. "Ah! A-h woman!" He quickly dives into the T-shirts that matches his question mark shirt, and makes a plan. "Alright, Soos. You can do this. Just use your mouth to say words that makes romance happen."

Soos slowly rises up from the shirts and said to the lady "Your face is good. I'm a Soos!" who in returns screams, drop the snow globe and bolted out of the gift shop while punching a guy out of the way and knocking the other merchandises along the way. Leaving Soos to sink back into the shirt racks in disappointment.

Dipper and Bill saw the whole thing, and Bill was laughing at the lady's reaction while Dipper took control and walks over to where Soos was hiding. "Soos?" he ask as he pulled the shirts out of the way, "What was that all about?" Soos replies "I-I think I was flirting, but I'm not sure."

Mabel then startled everyone when she pop out of a barrel full of colorful question mark keychains, and yelled "Did someone say flirting?!" "What is she, some sort of jack-in-a-box?" Bill question in their head.

Soos got up and explain what happened last night, "Well, I kinda promised my grandma I'd get a date by the end of the week, but I've never actually been on a date before." he then pulls off the 'Out of Oder' sign from the vending machine and stick it on his shirt. "You belong on me, out-of-order sign." He sighs in misery.

Mabel fall to her knees and shouted up to the ceiling, "Finally, my prayers for a chance to match-make this summer have been answered!" "Are you always like this, shooting star?" Bill/Dipper ask, Stan came into the conversation "Soos, a little advice. You need to get rich. Or lie about being rich. Outside of that, I don't like your chances."

Wendy let out a scoff and said "Don't listen to Stan, dude. You're a sweet guy with a steady job and a pickup truck." Stan gave her a look before saying "Would you date him?" making her to retreat back to her magazine that the headlines reads 'Avoid Eye Contact Monthly' "Oh! Would you... heh... look at that."

"Soos, you help us so much, it's time we help you, dude. We're gonna get you that date." Dipper/Bill promise, as Mabel grabs onto Soos' arm "We're taking you where romance lives and fashion styles die."

One Time Skip later

"To the Mall!" Mabel cheered as she, Soos, Dipper/Bill and Stan, with old Goldie, stand in the middle of the entrance way of the town's mall. Stan turn to the kids and said " I'm gonna find a replacement for old Goldie. Babysit Soos while I'm gone." Bill/Dipper then said "And while that's happening, I'm taking Pine-Tree shopping for new stylish outfits., the kid doesn't have taste in fashion." Dipper/Bill "Well neither do you."

Mabel broke them apart, "Boys, boys. Let's be honest here, you both have no sense of style." "Hey!" Both the human and the dream demon retaliate, "So here's the deal, we'll look for new clothes that suit you both better, kinda like the one you have on now. And help with Soos with finding a girl."

"Fair enough. I take what I can get." the fusion replied, as Mabel scans the mall for all of the women present in the mall. "Alright, Soos. Are you ready to explode the charm bomb on these poor, unsuspecting ladies?"

Soos felt uncertain about all this, "Uuh. But what if I embarrass myself again?" Mabel replied "Eh. You can't be any worse at this than Dipper and Bill." again, Bill and Dipper angerly shouted "Hey!" back at Mabel, who gave them a look that reads 'I'm sorry I said that. I didn't know what came over me.' and then blown a whistle. "And, flirt!"

So they went off to find clothes and girls, first they saw a woman drinking a pitt soda. Mabel points to her eyes and back to Soos, "Eye contact!" Soos seem to get the idea and starts to talk to the lady. "Hey there! I'm not scared of your eyes at all! I'm gonna look at them!" Soos then uses his fingers to open his eyelids wider, which result the woman to run away screaming. "Eye Contact!"

The first clothes store they went into had some dressed clothes and less junior clothes, Bill find these to his liking much to Dipper's dismay. So they left not buying a single outfit, plus that place was extremely expensive. $3,000.00 for a single tuxedo for men?! What the heck!?

The next lady they found was eating some meat near the food stands, and Mabel's advice was making a "Conversation!" Soos then starts up a conversation. "Huh. You know, I've actually been inside of a pig's body. Did you know pigs have a hard time walking backwards?" Soos let out a laugh at the funny memory, as the woman starts to walk away backwards slowly. "Not you, though! Not that I'm calling you a pig. Where are you going?"

The next store had some of what Dipper and Bill can agree on, black gray, sand and tan color jeans and some, mossy green, blue, amber red, black and yellow t-shirts.

And the last woman they found was chilling at a goth store, 'Edgy on Purpose' as Mabel gave Soos her final piece of advice, "Confidence." but the problem was that Soos couldn't tell if the person he was talking to was a girl or not. "So, you're probably a girl, right? Wrong? No, I was right the first time. Wrong?"

Wanting to check out the store, Bill took control and explore the shop and found a long zip up black hoodie jacket, a fake bow tie choker that looks like it's from the old 30's cartoon shows *Chough BATIM Chough*, and a yellow triangle chain neckless. Oh and Bill wanted to get their ears pierced and have black pearl earrings. Thankfully Dipper manage to convince him to do it later, much, MUCH later.

Meanwhile with Stan

"Tossing away garbage, in the garbage can." Stan sing as he put Goldie in the dump bind, "Phew!" he saw the old machine looking at him, "Ah, don't look at me like that. This is how it's gotta be." The old thing started to leak oil out of it's eye as if it was crying wanting to be with Stan, but it only just creeped the old con man out. "Ugh!" Stan shuts the dumpster, not wanting to see that hideous robot.

That's when he notice some kids walking into a building and decides to fallow them in, only to be greeted with kids playing games, eating pizza, earning tickets from a machine with a sunglasses-wearing pizza.

Stan said "What is this living nightmare? And why do kids love it so much?" Just then the lights dimmed as an animatronic badger comes out on stage yelling in rock 'n roll "Who wants to get baaadgered?!"

The kids cheered with excitement as the manager came up to Stan and said "Oh yeah, that's Will E. Badger. He opens for Hoo-Ha and the Jamboree." The animatronic starts to dance around and ask the kids to give him their money. Stan was immediately sold.

He turn to the manager, Gary, and demand "Sir, I would like to buy that badger." Gary laughs at Stan and said, " You're in over your head, gramps. Animatronics is a young man's game." He Tweaks his earring before saying "You couldn't handle the hardcore life of a pizza-robot manager. Huh! Haha, flinched!" and made the old man flinched.

The sounds of a kid making sick noises brought the manager's attention, "Hey, you, barfin' in the ball pit! Gary's on the case." as he walks over to the barfing kid, Stan made a vow under his breath. "I'm gonna get that badger."

Back with Dipper/Bill Soos and Mabel

The trio and a half were sitting down on a bench in front of a video game shop after a long day of clothes shopping and trying but failing to get a girl for Soos. Mabel being the optimistic person that she is, pulls out a toy from a toy capsule machine, "Don't worry, Soos. You'll find the right girl." she pulls a sticky hand toy out of her capsule, and sticks the hand onto Soos's face. "You just need to stick with it! Haha!"

The joke didn't help to lift his spirit it only made him feel bad about himself, he let out a sigh and said "Could this day get any worse?" Bill took over and answered "I think it just did." he points over to a man who looks so much like Soos walking with a cute lady.

Soos' eyes widen fully aware of who that person is, "Oh no! Cousin Reggie!" his cousin flirted with his fiancée to feel his muscles. "He can't see me like this! I gotta hide!" Soos runs into the video game store and slides down in front of some shelves half filled with games, "This is it, Soos. A lifetime of loneliness." He then pulls out two games out of a box "You're the only ones who could love me. 'Fighty Hogg,' 'Dr. Punch Head MD.'"

That's when Soos notices a video game in the box in front of him and picks it up to read what it is about, "Huh. Never seen that one before. 'Virtually improve your dating skills. Nine out of ten basement dwellers recommend.' This is perfect!"

Dipper/Bill and Mabel walk into the store just when they heard Soos reading the details of the game, "Well, I guess you are better at games than at flirting." Mabel then said, "Anything to get you out there, Soos." but before they could purchase the game, the store clerk lady spoke up. "I'm not sure you want to buy that game, sir. This is the third time someone's brought it back, and there's a note on it that says "destroy at all costs"." Dipper/Bill flip it over and the note was there, this raise suspicious for Bill.

but before he could think he heard, Question Mark flirting with a cutout female character, "So, hey there. What's your deal? Like to-?" The cutout then falls over loudly "Oh, she's dead!" Soos panic, the kids and Bill turn their attention back at the clerk and Mabel said "We'll take our chances." Bill/Dipper shrugged his shoulders in respond "Eh, what do we have left to loose."

Later at Night

Back at Soos' grandma's house, Soos walk into his room and places his new game into his computer's CD tray. As a "Year 2000 Electronics" logo appears on the computer's monitor. "Man, I can't wait for the year two-thousand." Soos commented, as the main menu screen pops up with the title words of 'Play', 'Quit' and 'Shizenhakka' which means "spontaneous combustion". What?

"Ehh, start!" Soos clicks 'Play and starts reading the game's introduction text "'When the cherry petals of magic romance academy are in bloom... anthyding can hadplen.' That is so true." The game screen shows of a Japanese classroom as the background when a teenage girl with pink hair appears on screen and greets Soos, "Oh, hi there! My name is .GIFfany. I'm a schoolgirl at School University. Will you help me carry my books?"

Option bars rolled onto the screen [Yes of course!], [I am impatient! Date me now!] and [Hey look a squid!] "I'm really feeling number two, here. Click!" Soos clicks it, but got a buzzer for getting the wrong answer.

"Ah! I messed up." That's okay. Try again." Soos then clicks on the first option and was rewarded with love points. "Wow, I'm learning! And games are making it fun." .GIFfany that ask "What would you like to talk about?" as more option bars came in about 'Your interest', 'Samurai' and 'Squids'.

But Soos has other ideas, "I'd rather just click your face." and he did. .GIFfany just laugh it off "Ha ha. You are so funny." Soos made another comment about the game, "Man, this game is amazing! I don't know why anyone abandoned it." .GIFfany's eyes shine with sparkles as she said, "And I'm sure you'll never abandon me, new boyfriend."

Soos took a moment to question the character's respond, before taking it as a joke "Boyfriend? Oh my, .GIFfany. It's almost like you're actually alive." She cast her eyes to the side as she replied "Yes. Almost." and then laugh the entire time. Soos then laughs along with her "Oh, man. You have such a nice laugh."

Should he have known that his computer outlet wasn't plugged into the wall from the very start.


And that's it. I took all day to complete this chapter from beginning to end.
Sorry for not adding more time with Bill and Dipper communication but I will in the next chapter, okay?

Fun fact about this episode one of the resident characters of Gravity Falls is named Mariah. She is based off and voiced by Mariah Amundsen, who visited the Gravity Falls production offices via the Make A Wish Foundation.

Which is also my first name too! How cool is that!

See you guys later.