l
-15-
"Let me see your face." Belldandy's fingers were gentle on her cheeks, the cool they presented a welcome chill to the fire and pain of Aiko's throbbing nose. "Please, try and hold still. Let me heal this for you." The woman tried not to flinch at the woman's-no god's-touch, and she sucked in a sharp breath as a gentle, cool tingle of relief began to seep into her skin. The pain began to fade in place of an itch along her nose, and Aiko bit her lip as she stopped herself from reaching up and scratching it.
A goddess.
A motherfucking goddess.
The revelation circuited Aiko's mind like a race car on a track. Now Keiichi's words came back to her, and Aiko's eyes shot up in surprise. "Oooohhh..." She trailed off, then looked at Keiichi. "Then you mean-"
"Yes," Keiichi nodded in exasperation. "I went out and saved a god-"
"You had a gun that looked like a hair dryer?!"
"Please stop moving, Aiko," Belldandy requested, and once more the college student fell still, though she wanted very much to look around her at the expressions she missed.
Skuld scowled, and for whatever reason Aiko's comment was the funniest thing in the world to Urd, who started laughing until she was red in the face. Aiko wondered if maybe her bit of 'potion' was a bit more potent than the others. Regardless, it made Aiko smile. Ah, humor. Humanity's greatest coping mechanism. The woman thought that if she could joke about it and laugh about it, then she'd be okay. Humor had helped her through Stuart and had helped her whenever her brother was on another 'Spook Run' that he couldn't give any details about, and Aiko assumed that it would help her adjust to this-this-whatever this was-as well. It sure as hell beat the shit out of panicking, and for a moment there she'd been afraid that was exactly what was going to happen; that she'd dissolve into a blubbering mess, unable to cope with what she'd seen even as her mind tried to sweep the whole event under the rug of her subconscious. Yet Keiichi had laughed, Urd had laughed, and that meant that she could laugh too.
Could and would, if only for her sanity's sake. The itch and strange cool faded from her face, and Belldandy released her as Aiko sucked in a fresh breath from her now-healed nose. "Ha!" She pointed to Keiichi, and the man jerked back, his head thumping against the wall. The same wall he'd been thrown into with such force that it'd broken his hand twenty minutes ago. "I knew you couldn't lie to me! I was right!" She exclaimed. "You low bastard! Trying to use reverse psychology on me to get me to think these ladies weren't gods."
He stared at her with his own blank expression, and then his face broke into a smile. "Well, it's not like you weren't already guessing the truth as it was." He looked at Belldandy. "Even if she didn't believe me when I told her the truth, Aiko was already making guesses that you three were related."
"Wow, wait a second." Aiko raised her hands up in front of her. Was she still light headed? Christ, her head felt like it was swimming in an ocean at high-tide. "So, okay, you guys are sisters, but what about that stuff you were telling me about earlier? That UN stuff about Aussie moms and American moms and Icelandic dads and whatever. Was all that stuff true?" She looked between the three women, watching as even Keiichi's face grew thoughtful, and knew she'd struck gold when Urd winced.
"Shit, I'd hoped you forgot about that," Skuld muttered under her breath. Aiko looked at her with a raised eyebrow, and the woman sighed. "Okay. So, three sisters. You're on the money. Same dad. Belldandy and I have the same mom." She jerked her head to Urd, who stared at Skuld pensively. "Urd over there has a different mom though, which is why she looks so much more..." The Norn paused, scowling.
"Exotic," Belldandy supplied. "The word you want is 'exotic', Skuld." She looked at Aiko. "Urd is the eldest. I was born shortly after her, and later down the road came Skuld." She pursed her lips, gaze contemplative. "We're known collectively as the Norns of Fate," she explained. "Together we run the domain of Past, Present, and Future."
"They keep the universe running smoothly," Keiichi shot in, and Urd punched him in the shoulder. He grinned at her, his face unapologetic and Aiko wondered if perhaps he was feeling loopy as well. "But for whatever reason they think I'm more fun to hang around with than whatever other gods exist in the universe."
Urd punched him again. "Your dope of a brother over here ended up saving my life about five years ago." She shrugged in discomfort as Belldandy straightened in sudden interest, the two sisters-Belldandy and Aiko-both leaning forward to observe their respective siblings. "Jank here was on a deployment to Afghanistan, and I happened to be in the area as well tracking down clues that might help me locate you, Belldandy." She jutted her chin out to the woman in question. "Of course, my methods aren't always the best-"
"Urd makes a lot of stupid decisions, is what she's trying to say," Skuld cut in. "The dummy over there decided 'hey know what? I bet a demon's involved! I'm gonna go ask a demon and see if he knows anything about my little sister's whereabouts.'" She sighed and rolled her eyes. "Like walking down a dark alley with a 'stab me' sign on your back."
Belldandy looked at Urd in fresh concern. "Urd, you didn't!" she said in disdain. "Please tell me you didn't..."
Urd shrugged self-consciously. "He said he knew where you were." She scratched the back of her head. "Course, then the fucker decided I looked like a good bartering tool and tried to seal me, but hey! That's where good ol' Janky-Baby here popped up!" She smiled and slapped a hand down on Keiichi's shoulder. "Aaaand that's how I met Team 12!"
"You threatened to blow us up after we helped you seal the demon," Keiichi replied evenly, then looked over at Belldandy and Aiko. "I almost shot her in the face because first she threatened to blow us up, then she wiped Team 12's memories and I was the only one who wasn't affected."
"And look at them now," Skuld said snidely. "Like two peas in a pod. BFFs. You two should have fucking friendship bracelets."
Urd grabbed Keiichi's left hand and hoisted it into the air, displaying the Luminox 3082 on his wrist. "The hell do you think this is?" she demanded, half in jest. "Keiichi's the one holding onto the demon that tried to seal me!"
Above their heads the lights flickered for a brief moment, and Urd released Keiichi's hand as both of the Morisatos looked up. When it didn't happen again Keiichi shrugged. "Power surge," he reasoned. "But yeah...turns out the reason for that was because I guess Urd was... I don't know, supposed to meet me?" He looked at the woman with a shrug. "Some weird thing was trying to hook me up with Belldandy because I was still owed a wish by her." He raised his hands as Aiko sent him a disbelieving glance "Yeah, I know, I don't get it either, but it's the truth, okay? I was owed a wish for something and Belldandy was supposed to grant it, so..."
"So the Ultimate Force, a power that not even we gods dictate, interfered and ensured that the two of us would meet, all so that Jank and Bell could hook up," Urd continued. "And it took about five years or so, but eventually our connection led to us tracking you down, Bell, and rescuing you from, well..." The goddess shrugged. "And... admittedly, while it took a while, because for whatever reason none of us could connect the dots... we finally rescued you."
"And I gave Bell my wish," Keiichi added. "Which is how these lovely ladies managed to hook up at my place."
"Wow," Aiko said. "That's... wow." She shook her head. "So...do I get VIP access to the whole story then?" she asked, looking around at everyone present. "Because...this whole thing is just a tiny bit over my head."
For a moment both Urd and Keiichi's expressions darkened, their faces so similar to each other that Aiko could only wonder at what they'd experienced to have planted such a haunted look on their faces.
"Yes."
Belldandy's voice came out a whisper, and she looked to the woman with a start. "I... yes." She wasn't looking at Aiko so much as Keiichi and Urd. "I'll... we'll speak of it. Not right now though." She sucked in a deep breath, and Aiko was once more reminded of that terrified little girl she'd seen in Belldandy's face; that child that had been so filled with terror and despair that her only option had been to lash out in defense. This was her story, not Kei's. Not Urd's. And with those few words alone Belldandy had reminded everyone present of that fact. "We shall save it for another time... later this weekend, perhaps. But not right now." With a deep breath the woman-the goddess, Aiko reminded herself-rose to her feet, releasing her tight grip on Aiko's shoulder. "Now is the time to prepare for festivities and celebrations. I believe we've had enough melancholy for this day."
Skuld stared at her, then rose to her own feet as well. "You're right. This team of Keiichi's is due to arrive in a couple of hours, right? And weren't you originally coming in here to let these guys know that the salads were done?"
Belldandy stared at her, then nodded as well. "I was," she murmured, and her face scrunched up in a grimace. "I apologize, Aiko. I heard you shouting and..."
"It's alright." Aiko rolled to her feet as well. "It's my bad." Her eyes were unintentionally drawn to the red spot that now stained Belldandy's shirt. Blood. Aiko's blood. From Aiko's broken nose, so obtained after Belldandy had... what? Had a flashback and lost herself? Yeah. Yeah, that sounded like a good way of looking at it. "I should have took into consideration how I must have sounded to you." She ran a hand through her dyed hair, sending an embarrassed look towards Keiichi, whose expression mirrored hers down to the bone. "I... forgot how easy it is for something to start a flashback. Our fault, not yours."
Boy, this was going to take some getting used to. Not a woman, but a goddess with PTSD? Fucking shit, man. She was sitting in a living room with a bunch of literal gods. She fucking slept with a god. Oh, if the theologists at her school ever caught wind of this! A small, silly giggle crawled out her throat, and Aiko buried her face in her hands. Dried blood flaked off with her fingers, yet her nose felt like it'd never been better. Like it'd never been broken. "This is-this is fucking awesome," she exclaimed, and everyone around her stared at her. "So, does this mean you guys are from a specific pantheon then?" She asked. "You guys said you were from Iceland, so does that mean you guys are... what was it, Norse or something?"
The trio of sisters looked to each other and shrugged. "I... guess..?" Skuld said.
"Holy shit." Wait. "Do gods poop? If they do is it considered a holy shit? Or is that only when the Pope worships the great porcelain god?"
Aiko Morisato. Mortal representative of the human race. Asking the important questions no one else dared.
Belldandy's jaw dropped in horror. Skuld stared at her in disbelief. Urd threw her head back and howled with laughter as Keiichi groaned and covered his face in embarrassment. Aiko didn't register any of it. She was literally standing in the presence of the divine, a goddess had both broken her nose and healed it, she was pretty sure she was suffering from some crazy blood loss in conjunction with whatever else that potion had done to her, and hot damn if she wasn't going to question them.
She was bouncing on her feet now, and a large, eager smile was on her face, one that caused her brother to watch her with a worried expression. "This is so cool," she said. "What about-do you guys know gods from other pantheons? Like, has Zeus ever hit on you or something? Do you know Jesus? Are there straight up alien gods out there? Or do aliens worship you guys too?" She paused, thought for a moment, then asked, "Was Asatru the right religion all along?"
Belldandy and Skuld looked at each other, the expressions growing more and more uncomfortable with each question thrown their way. Urd couldn't stop laughing, instead sliding along the wall she was leaning on and back down to the floor. "Ah...what is...?" Belldandy stuttered.
Something that could only be described as a giddy squee came out of Aiko's throat, her hands coming up to her chest in close fists that pumped the air gaily. "Do you have special powers? Can you turn people to stone with a glance or turn water into wine? Can you turn lead into gold?" She was jumping now. Jumping and squeeing and scaring Belldandy and Skuld. And making Urd laugh, but it seemed damn near anything would make that happen now, didn't it? "Oh, oh! Can you make all the crippling debt I've acquired since applying to college vanish?! Or maybe turn me into a puppy?"
"Aiko-" Keiichi groaned. Aiko ignored him.
"No, wait. That's perfect! Can you do that? Can you turn people into animals? I want to be a puppy!"
Skuld stared at her queerly. "Why would you want to-"
"Think about it Kei! Who's got the best life in the world? A golden retriever living in an upper middle class, closed-gate community. Nothing but a chill life, table scraps from kids, lots of love, totally safe, no worries and BALL!"
Keiichi stared at her, and then for a moment actually seemed to consider the proposition.
"MAGILLA!" Skuld cried. "Are you actually...?"
Keiichi looked at her. "Well… she has a point," he stated. "I should be more 'dog'. Like you, Poodle. Only maybe not all 'yip yip yip' and ankle-bitey, more mellow and belly rubs." He looked at Belldandy with a grin. "What do you think, Bell? Want a big ol' puppy dog that wants nothing but belly rubs?"
Skuld groaned. "If you wanted to be a fucking golden retriever you should have made that your wish instead." She glowered at him. "Maybe I can still make that wish come true."
Belldandy stared at her in confusion. "But you aren't a part of the GRO, Skuld. Wish granting isn't in your job description." She looked at Keiichi. "And... while a dog sounds nice... I'd rather give you belly rubs as a human, Keiichi."
Aiko's eyes went wide as she brought a fist to her mouth. "OOOOh!" she cried. "Get it Girl!" Skuld made a strange, strangled noise with her throat, and Urd had long passed the point of laughing until her face had turned red. Yeah, okay, so maybe she was a little loopy. It wouldn't even register with Aiko until later that she'd spoken to a goddess as though Belldandy was one of her friends out clubbing.
Keiichi's smile grew bolder. "Does this make me your puppy then?" He winked at Belldandy and wagged his eyebrows suggestively.
"He's not a puppy, he's a frog!" Skuld looked like she was ready to keel over and die in embarrassment. "Oh Yggdrasil. They're flirting. Make it stop. Oh heavens, my virgin ears. Make it stop!"
"Froggy then," Keiichi said. "You know what they say about frogs: Kiss them on the lips and they'll turn into a prince."
Belldandy looked like she was about to say something, and then seemed to think better of it, instead approaching Keiichi, leaning forward, and pressing her lips firmly against his. A fresh chorus of madness rose up as Urd whistled, Skuld protested, and Aiko whooped in glee. Keiichi smiled into the kiss before returning it, and when they parted Belldandy smiled back at him with flushed cheeks. "You haven't changed though," she stated. "I suppose this makes you my froggy Black Knight?"
"They also say repeated doses may be required and results may vary," Keiichi replied.
"Keiichi, you smooth motherfucker!" Urd cried.
"Enough!" Skuld screamed. "For fuck's sake, enough!" She looked at the two of them in disgust.
Belldandy's flush deepened into a brilliant scarlet, and with a small bit of reluctance she stepped away from Keiichi. She still smiled though, still held Keiichi's gaze, and despite her own embarrassment didn't look away. "I suppose we should finish preparing the house?" she asked.
"Yeah," Keiichi chirped. "Can't have the Poodle gnawing my ankle off because I kissed her sister now, can we?"
"Oh that's it you son of A BI-" All at once Urd was at Skuld's side, dragging the younger woman away as Belldandy winced.
"OKAY, SHOW'S OVER, TIME TO GO!" Urd said over her sister, drowning out the violent profanities leaving Skuld's mouth as they headed out of the living room.
Belldandy covered her face. "Perhaps you should stop teasing Skuld," she muttered. "I'm not sure how much more she can handle, knowing she has to leave soon.
Aiko whistled. "Yeah. You better watch yourself, Kei," she warned. "That's your future sister-in-law you're teasing."
Belldandy sputtered something unintelligible, and Keiichi's whole body shuddered as though someone had dropped an ice cube down his pants. "Aiko!" the SEAL cried, yet already the younger woman was retreating as well, laughing and chasing after the other two 'future sister-in-laws' and leaving Keiichi and Belldandy alone.
The two looked at each other with wide eyes. "Uh..."
"That is..."
"Ah..."
"...lets-lets just agree we never heard what Aiko just dropped."
Keiichi nodded in a hurry, both gratful and disappointed that Belldandy appeared as reluctant over the concept of marriage as him. "Team twelve," he said. "Gotta get things sorted for the team's arrival."
"Yes! Yes." Belldandy nodded in a rush. "Need to change clothes and make sure the salad is good and there's a place for drinks and set out chairs and-"
"Yeah." Keiichi agreed. "Gotta put a collar on the Poodle and a muzzle on Aiko."
And, despite the odds being stacked against him, Belldandy laughed.
XXX
Around three thirty that afternoon, There was a heavy pounding on the front door, and knowing who it was Keiichi moved to open it. He was unsurprised to find all of Team 12 on the other side, loaded down with various plastic bags filled with tupperware containers, crockpots, and even a cooler loaded with what Keiichi assumed was beer. Jackson was in the front of the procession, and his smile was wide and bright on his face. "MORISATO!" The man roared in a deep, thundering voice that would have terrified new recruits if he was a company commander in boot camp. "Are you going to just stand there and look pretty? Or are you going to invite us in?"
"Tamiya?" From farther down the hallway Belldandy peeked around the corner, yet the large tank of a man was nowhere in sight. Instead four other tanks of various sizes stood in the doorway, one of which she vaguely recognized from her first day in Keiichi's house.
Keiichi smiled broadly. "Hey guys, come on in!" He held the door open as far back as it would go, allowing the four men to process through the door one person at a time.
"We brought gifts!" Sanchez cried, holding out four twelve-packs of various beers out for Keiichi to examine. In a lower, joking voice he added, "Now where da' women at?"
"Try anything and I'll shove these cans so far up your ass you'll taste metal," Keiichi replied in an equally jovial tone. Sanchez laughed and slapped him on the shoulder, and as the procession moved into the living room Keiichi let the door slam shut.
"So Tank was tell..." Jackson had a naturally loud voice, yet as Keiichi followed his team into the living room, the man's sentence drifted off, falling into an almost deafening silence as Jackson stared at the Ugly Beast. "Ho-Lee-Jeezus and fuck me sideways. What is that? What in the name of Neptune's blue testicles is that?"
"What is what?" Moving to deposit the beer on the dining room table, Keiichi looked over his shoulder. "Oh, that?" he called, helping Urd move the drinks into the cooler McGuinness had brought with him. Belldandy moved to stand near the table, watching the entire exchange in the shocked silence of a woman unaccustomed to the creative language so produced by service members. "That's a couch. Do you like it? We named her the 'Ugly Beast'."
Jackson continued to stare at it. "Do I like it?" He looked at Keiichi in shock. "What the fuck you talking about?" he demanded. "The shit is pink, Jank!"
"I prefer the term 'light red', myself." Keiichi grinned.
"No Man." Jackson shook his head in disgust. "Dude, it looks like my granny's favorite Sunday dress fucked a love seat. Only there wasn't any love in it. Just a bunch of angry fucking."
One of Keiichi's eyebrows shot up in surprised. "What the hell are you talking about?" he demanded. "The Ugly Beast has a classical rosette pattern, you uncultured swine." He tipped his nose up and sniffed in scorn.
Sanchez burst out laughing. "Oh man, he's like one of them rich fucks from the 'Grey Poupon' commercials!"
Jackson moved away from the couch, storming up to Keiichi with a wild glare that was half in jest. "What did you call me, little man? Oh-ho, it's on now, motherfucker."
With a squeak that almost went unnoticed, Belldandy quickly retreated from the man, leaving Keiichi to face the wrath of his team mate on his own. Yet rather than go in swinging as perhaps the poor, bewildered woman might have believed, Jackson kneeled down near the edge of the dining room table and propped his elbow up on its surface. "Come on, Bitch. Let's see if those apple crushers can stand up to my twenty-four inch pythons."
Keiichi followed him down, mimicking his stance on the other corner of the table. "See if they can stand up to my di-" He cut himself off as he caught Belldandy's mouth drop in unambiquitous horror, and instead settled for grabbing Jackson's hand. "You going down, Piper!"
As the two began their arm wrestling match, Urd slid the lid back on the cooler and left the table to stand next to McGuinness, leaving Belldandy to referee the match. Not that the poor woman appeared to have any idea what was happening at the moment. "So…" She moved to lean against the back end of the Ugly Beast, a slim smile on her face as she watched McGuinness observe the spectacle with his own interest. He looked to her as the woman spoke up. "What do you think of the couch, Tank?" She patted the top of the couch like it was a dog, face smug. "You like?"
McGinness made a show of coughing into his fist before moving off, but Urd thought she heard a 'Yes' from somewhere underneath his hand.
"Christian! Angel!" Aiko descended the staircase, having washed her face and changed into a fresh outfit, with Skuld a couple steps behind her, and she smiled broadly as the two men in question looked up.
"Christ on a cracker, is that you Bengal?" Sanchez asked. "You look like Blueberry Girl from Willy Wonka! What'd you do to your hair!?"
Aiko laughed and rushed down the rest of the stairs, throwing herself first at McGuinness who hugged her back, and then at Sanchez, who spun her around with a laugh of his own. Skuld proceeded at a slower pace, and as she reached the first floor, McGuinness nodded to her. "I believe we have not properly been introduced." He said, thrusting a hand out to her. "I am Christian McGuinness. I remember seeing you a couple of weeks ago as one of the passengers in Keiichi's truck."
Skuld nodded, taking his hand and shaking it, surprised when the grip didn't crush her hand as she'd half expected. "Nice to meet you. I'm Skuld, er, Skuld Highkin, Urd's partner in the UN."
Sanchez approached with an arm slung around Aiko's shoulders. She only came up to his chest, and next to him and McGuiness, the young woman looked tiny. "Nice to meet you, Ma'am," Sanchez chirped, smiling broadly. "I'm Angel. Are you the one keeping Sheila in line?"
"Sheila?" Skuld looked at him in confusion, though she was more taken aback by the man's name. 'Angel' was not a name for a person last time she'd been on Midgard, and she had to stop herself from commenting on his name when it became apparent no one thought twice about it. To hear a man named after the being many deities considered the 'Other Soul' was... startling, to say the least. Sheila was a strange name too, but she kind of remembered hearing someone call Urd that name from some place before. Still...
"He's referring to Ms. Hildborne," McGuinness said. "It is a nickname we used to refer to her when she started appearing around our team."
"It's 'cause she's an Aussie," Sanchez threw in, and it took a moment longer to realize they were both still referring to Urd.
Why the hell do the people in this world keep saying Urd has an Australian accent? Skuld wondered, hiding her confusion with a knowing smile. "Right, I hear you." She looked to McGuinness. "So are you the one who keeps Ma-Keiichi in line?"
The man raised a single brown brow. "I suppose..." He drawled, glancing at Aiko. "If his sister doesn't do that for him." He looked back at Skuld, eyes bright with contained humor. "Why?" he asked. "Has he done something I should be aware of?"
Skuld's smile broadened. "Oh, let me tell you some of the things this man has done."
In the dining room Keiichi released a roar of victory as Jackson's hand slammed down on the wooden table, startling Belldandy badly enough that she jumped, eyes wide. Releasing his opponent, the man raised his fists in the air as Jackson groaned in defeat, drawing laughter from both Team 12 and the women in the household.
"See what I mean?" Skuld asked, though the smile on her face didn't falter.
Sanchez hailed Keiichi. "Yo Jank! You gonna introduce us properly or what?" Aiko was dragging him towards the table, and sharing a look Skuld and McGuinness followed as well. Braxton was already at the table observing the Norns with open, curious eyes, and Urd stood next to him, occasionally sending him a sidelong glance when his gaze lingered too long on Belldandy's face. The two came to stand next to Urd, and Braxton leaned forward to look at Skuld in interest, that same open, curious expression-almost childlike, Skuld thought-came to rest on Skuld's face. The Norn met the SEAL's gaze head on, cocking an eyebrow up in question, and Braxton got the hint and dropped his gaze, returning it to Keiichi.
"Okay, so we've got some new folks and faces here, so we'll start off with the ones most of us are already familiar with and work our way up." Keiichi announced. He wandered around the table, then looped an arm around Aiko's shoulders. "So, most of you know Aiko here, my little sister; the thorn in my side that I can't get rid of no matter what I do." He looked over at Braxton. "You hit on her, you get a shovel. You flirt with her, you start digging. You kiss her, you die and I cover up your grave, got it?" His tone was jovial enough, yet even in the relaxed air of the house, something in Keiichi's body language made the man pause and wonder just how much the SEAL was joking.
Most everyone present laughed, and so too did Braxton, though perhaps it sounded a bit uneasy. "Man, when you gonna let Aiko start dating without you looking over her shoulder?" Sanchez slapped Keiichi lightly on the back of the head. "You worse than your Old Man, Jank!" More laughter
Aiko and Keiichi shared a laugh, and this time there was no hiding the unease in it. "Yeah, no way is he worse than Keima," Aiko said nonchalantly. "A little overprotective, but he can't follow me to school every day now, can he?"
"It's okay." Keiichi winked at her. "That's why I've got a tracker in your phone." Aiko punched him, and Keiichi grunted, smiled, and then moved on. "Speaking of which, we still have to introduce our newest teammate to our merry band of Twelve Monkeys," he said, this time gesturing to Braxton. "Here we have Master at Arms Second Class John Braxton, our very own Johnny Bravo." Braxton groaned good-naturedly. "You want to share the story on how you got that callsign?"
"Not until I'm good and drunk," Braxton replied.
"But if you do that, you're liable to get beat up again!" Jackson jibed. "And by any one of these four lovely ladies, no less!" He looked around at the Norns and Aiko. "None of you have tasers, right?"
For whatever reason Belldandy and Skuld looked at Urd, who shrugged and shook her head.
Jackson smiled. "Okay, cool, so that's one less thing you gotta worried about, see Bravo? No taze for you tonight! Though you might want to steer clear of any shovels you find lying around..."
Keiichi chuckled before moving on. "So, next we have Urd-Sheila to most of us, Urd to the rest of you." Urd smiled and nodded, all too comfortable in her surroundings. "You ever gonna tell us where you're from?" he joked.
"Southerlands of Niflheim, right along the border of Hades and Helheim." Urd smiled and rolled her eyes. "Same thing I tell you boys every time we get together."
"Right, and Australia has a portal to hell smack dab in the middle of the Outback where a bunch of demons got their asses handed to 'em by a bunch of 'roos," Sanchez joked.
"Exactly!" Urd cried. "Why else do you think it's so dangerous living down there!" The words gained laughter from all of Team 12 and even Aiko, yet the same could not be said for Skuld and Belldandy. Oh no. Their reactions were quite the opposite, in fact; all wide eyes and tense faces, humor absent from their faces, but if anyone noticed they were polite enough not to comment on the outlandish behavior.
"Alright, so next we have Skuld, who was making her own introductions." He gestured to the woman in question, who narrowed her eyes at the Keiichi but otherwise did not comment. "Watch out for this one, guys. She's straight up mean when she wants to be, and protective too. Don't let her fool you; it's all a lie. She'll have you pinned up against a wall and sobbing for your mommy if you so much as glance at her wrong." The smile didn't leave Keiichi's face. "She's worse than a marine drill sergeant."
"She ain't got not Smokey the Bear hat though!" Sanchez laughed.
And without thought Skuld responded, "That's because the last guy who pissed me off has it shoved up his ass." Did a goddess even know who Smokey the Bear was? Was she familiar with the large brimmed hat he wore or his perspective of humanity and forest fires? Fuck if Keiichi knew, but if he had to guess he'd place money on her being clueless.
The man moved to stand by Belldandy as the laughter faded. "And then we have Belldandy, our guest of honor." He stared at the woman in question with a large, easy smile. "Don't let her sweet nature fool you-she' a fighter, and has beat my ass more than once."
Belldandy looked at him with wide, horrified eyes. "Keiichi!"
Keiichi brought his hands up as though warding off a blow. "Ahh!" he cried, taking a step further and making his hands shake. "Don't beat me again!" His voice swayed with laughter, and despite her own misgivings a small, tiny grin flitted across the Norn's face. The man straightened. "She's also got incredible taste in furniture; that glorious couch in the living room was her doing more than mine, and I'm willing to bet she could beat your ass in Fifa, Sanchez."
"Man, screw you guys and your damned soccer. Madden's where it's at!" Jackson piped up.
"She'll wreck your shit in Madden, too Piper," Keiichi retorted, face smug. "Watch. You give her a round or two to get familiar with the controls and she'll be running circles 'round you till the game breaks."
Belldandy looked away, a fresh blush tinting her cheeks. "Please stop," she muttered. "I don't know-please, no more."
"No more?" Keiichi looked at the goddess in mock-surprise. "But we're just getting started!"
"I know," Belldandy grumbled under her breath. "And I prefer that you quit while you're ahead rather than prolong it any further."
Keiichi belted out fresh laughter, none of it forced, then nodded his head. "Alright, alright, I hear you," he said. "In that case, it's time to introduce you to the rest of Team 12, the mad barrel of monkeys we are." He gestured the four men around the table. "First we have the ever-so-famous Lieutenant Commander Christian 'Tank' McGuinness, leader of Team 12 and the only real officer in our small group of merry men." In a softer voice he whispered loudly, "Don't let him scare you-he looks like a mean Rottweiler, but he's really nothing but a puppy once you get to know him." McGuinness raised an eyebrow but chose not to comment, instead nodding to Belldandy with a small half-smile before Keiichi moved on. "Following that is HM1 Angel 'Croaker' Sanchez, so dubbed by his skill of keeping all our internal organs inside us rather than dragging on the ground behind us during deployments." He gained some laughs from Team 12 and even Urd, but apparently Skuld and Aiko weren't a fan of dark humor. They scowled at him, and Belldandy stared at him in open worry.
"Don't let Jank scare ya, Miss Tyrdotter," Sanchez reassured. "I've plugged that asshole with enough Quick Clot to patch an elephant, and he still manages to flip off our close friend Mister Reaper and get away with it." He smirked. "I'll be the one patching up these drunk fucks once they decide to start jumping off roofs later tonight."
"Wait, what?" Belldandy cried out, looking between Sanchez and Keiichi in alarm.
"Hey, Man, don't go telling her that shit! You scaring her!" Jackson cried.
Sanchez sent him a dirty look. "You the one I'm worried about most," he said. "Jank's got his sister here to stop him, but yer always trying to impress the ladies doing backflips off roofs."
"The Screaming Man can do backflips?" Belldandy whispered to Keiichi, her gaze wide with something that might have been awe or fear or both. "Will he summon explosions as well?" The woman looked at Keiichi in honest concern, and the man felt himself flush in embarrassment. "Explosions upon backflipping off roofs?"
"Bell, that's not-"
"Why is he wearing a shirt?" Belldandy continued. "I've never seen him in a shirt before..." Keiichi groaned and buried his face in his hands, where muffled laughter surged forth. "Is it to keep his abdomen quiet?"
Keiichi let his hands drop, his face as red as a tomato. "Belldandy, that's not Terry Crews." He whispered.
"Who?" Belldandy looked at him strangely. "I am not certain who you're talking about. I am talking about the screaming man from the videos. He doesn't look agile enough to do backflips, but I suppose if he has enough momentum…" The goddess trailed off, staring at Jackson in a strange kind of scrutinizing consideration, and Keiichi felt a flush of his own start to redden his face.
"Terry Crews, huh?" Urd looked at him with a raised eyebrow, and Keiichi considered himself lucky that Jackson was too busy arguing with Sanchez to pick up on the secondary conversation.
"God damn it," Keiichi groaned, more to himself rather than any of the Norns present and causing Belldandy to once more send him a queer look. "Belldandy, no…that's-you can't just-" He sighed. "That's GMC Brian 'Piper' Jackson. Not the Screaming Man-that's Terry Crews-"
Jackson paused in his argument with Sanchez and looked at Keiichi. "What about my boy Terry?"
"She thinks you're Terry Crews," Braxton shot out before Keiichi could stop him, and Jackson looked at Belldandy with large eyes.
A strange noise came from Belldandy, and it took Keiichi's brain to process the sound as 'Eep.'
"Man, Terry Crews is fucking LIFE," Jackson announced, again in that loud, deep voice that had so reminded the goddess of Tamiya upon arrival. "That my dog, Girl! Life be good if I can be half the man Terry Crews is!" He flexed for affect, making his biceps strain against the sleeves of his shirt, and Belldandy stared at him, for a moment completely speechless. "Jacked, famous, rich, funny-man, I fucking wish I was Terry Crews!"
This time Belldandy gaped, face disbelieving as she looked from Jackson to Keiichi and back again, uncertain of what to say. "But I—"
"Let it drop, Bell," Keiichi said, his face was a deep beet-red. "Let's-let's finish introductions."
"Yeah," Braxton shot in. "I got a bunch of baked beans that'll go bad if I don't get them in the fridge soon." He leaned over the table to look at Belldandy. "Nice to meet you. I'm John Braxton." The man looked Belldandy up and down, then met her eyes and said, "So are you divine? Because I know a goddess when I see one."
A chorus of groans arose from Team 12. "There he goes..." Sanchez muttered, and Urd and Skuld both boggled at the man with large eyes.
"Johnny Bravo strikes again." Jackson grumbled.
Keiichi scowled, eyes narrowing in anger. "God damn it Braxton, what did I tell you before you came here?" he growled, and Braxton looked at him in confusion.
"What?" he asked, staring at Keiichi in honest bemusement. "I was just-"
"Oh no." Keiichi cut him off. "Braxton, I fucking told you not to-"
"But I was just-" The man brought his hands up in defense, edging away from the Keiichi.
"No," Keiichi glowered at the younger man and took a step towards Braxton. "I warned you all throughout the week-don't hit on the girls. And you still come to my house and think you can pull that crap?"
Belldandy rested a hand on Keiichi's shoulder, giving him pause. He looked back at her, a mixture of irritation and confusion on his face. "Let's go into the living room," she said in a low voice, and with a firm grip on his arm guided him out of the dining room.
The others watched the two depart before Aiko sighed and shook her head. McGuinness watched to duo leave with a pensive frown, then directed his attention to Braxton. "John..." he warned, and again the man cringed.
"What did I do?!" He demanded. "It was a question!"
"Man, it was a pickup line and you know it," Sanchez groaned. "Now you gone and ruined the mood for us all!"
"Let's give Keiichi a moment to calm down," Urd suggested. "Until then, let's get the food taken care of, alright?" She sent a pointed look to Braxton. "And when they do come back...maybe it'd be best if you didn't approach Belldandy."
Braxton threw his hands up in bewilderment, still baffled by the hostility over his one comment. "Fine!" he proclaimed. "Fine. I'll keep my mouth shut, okay? Fuck, I'm sorry!"
In the living room, Belldandy guided Keiichi to the Ugly Beast and had him sit down. She didn't release his arm. "What just happened?" she murmured, her voice calm as Keiichi fell into the couch with a heavy sigh. "I have never seen you grow so provoked over mere words before. Is there something going on between you and that man-Braxton was it?"
Keiichi grimaced and sucked in a deep breath. "Sorry," he breathed upon its release. "I just-" He stopped himself and shook his head. "No, there's no excuse...I-fuck." What had come over him? "Braxton's been a pain in the ass for me since you were rescued," he said aloud, rubbing his temples as he sucked in another breath. "He's been pissing me off more and more over the past couple of weeks because he keeps prying into my business and-" He shook his head. "Sorry," He apologized again. "He just doesn't know when to quit sometimes."
"And so that is enough of a reason to spur you to violence?" Belldandy raised an almond eyebrow. "I was led to believe you were a better man than that." Keiichi flinched. "For a moment I feared you were about to strike him."
"I think a part of me was." He grumbled, and then sighed. "That's—I just—it's like having to deal with someone who keeps pressing all your buttons on a daily basis, you know?"
"Like an unloved abusive spouse you had to wake up next to every day for ten years?" Belldandy fired back, and Keiichi winced. "You're not the type of man to allow another person's words to drag you down so quickly, Keiichi."
"I know," Keiichi muttered. "I guess I just...maybe I'm just a little...I don't know..."
"Protective?" Belldandy asked, and Keiichi looked at her with a start. "I'm not naive, Keiichi. Did you yourself not just admit to instructing John not to...what were the words...'hit on the girls'?"
"He has a history." Keiichi muttered.
"And so does Urd," Belldandy agreed. "However none of us are helpless. We are not 'fair maidens ignorant to the ways of man'. I feel this has been demonstrated to you several times before."
Keiichi had the decency to blush. "Yeah..." he muttered. "I guess I just...my teammates all have a..."
"Loud personality?"
"Yeah...I guess so."
Belldandy sent him a slim smile. "Loud though they may be, they all seem to be decent men. Even Braxton, though he seems to get on your nerves." She shook her head. "Though I will admit their behavior is at times baffling to me, I do not see any of them as a threat-if that is indeed what you so fear."
Keiichi stared at her for a long moment, then dropped his head with a sigh. "Yeah, you're right." He said. "I guess I was worried about first impressions, huh? I...I was a little worried about Aiko meeting Team 12 way back when I was Braxton's age, too, so I guess some of those old nerves came back up."
Belldandy nodded in understanding, and for a few minutes the duo sat in companionable silence, listening with half an ear to the rambunctious noises from both the dining room and the kitchen. After a while, Keiichi spoke up, "I think I'm good now," He announced. "Want to go back and face those idiots one more time?"
Belldandy stared at him with a raised brow, then took his hand in hers. "Are you?" she challenged, and squeezed the SEAL's hand gently. Keiichi stroked the back of her hand with a calloused thumb.
"Yeah," he decided. "Come on. Let's go introduce those poor souls to umeboshi."
Belldandy looked at him in surprise. "You mean you were serious?"
Keiichi smiled at her and rose, and still holding his hand Belldandy stood as well. She laughed. "Oh, goodness," she moaned. "Those poor souls won't know what to do with themselves."
"Alcohol," Keiichi replied. "Alcohol fixes everything."
The two rejoined the rest of the crowd. McGuinness and Urd both looked their way, for a moment with such matching expressions of concern that Keiichi and Belldandy almost laughed. Then Keiichi gave them a quick thumbs up, A-okay, and the concern melted back into obscurity.
"Hey, you're back!" Aiko cried. "Just in time, too. Piper's getting ready to fire up the grill." She smiled at them both, face smug as her eyes darted between the two of them. "We were thinking of maybe having a quick snack first to hold us over while he worked his magic. What do you say?"
Keiichi looked at Belldandy. "Umeboshi?"
Belldandy looked at Keiichi. "Umeboshi."
The duo looked at Aiko, who's smile widened with an almost evil tint. "Umeboshi," they said together.
"Umeboshi it is!" Aiko cried, and with a laugh moved into the kitchen, withdrawing the small item in question from the fridge. Resting the parcel on the counter, the student pried the vacuum-sealed plastic off the package. McGuinness took one look at the package and recoiled. "Jackson will need my help getting the grill from the truck," he said, and made a quick departure for the hallway. "I'll pass on the pickled plums this time, Aiko. Enjoy Sheila!" He was gone before anyone could get another word in, leaving Urd and Skuld to share a somewhat uncomfortable look.
"Pickled plums?" Skuld asked.
"Yep," Aiko grabbed a fork from a drawer and speared one, popping it into her mouth without hesitation. "They're a treat. We grew up eating them." She offered the fork to Keiichi, who jabbed one, offered it to Belldandy, then jabbed a second one for himself after the goddess took one after a moment's hesitation.
"Hey, those are the sour things, right?" Sanchez asked, and at Aiko's nod he smiled. "Fuckken A! I love those things!" He grabbed one as well, then gestured Braxton, Urd, and Skuld over. "These things are the best! They're like-what were they called-Warheads! Only the sour don't go away after, like, five seconds."
Skuld leaned over to Urd. "What's a 'warhead'?" she whispered.
Urd shrugged. "Candy, I think?" She took one of the offered umeboshi with a perturbed scowl, examining the golden, wrinkled fruit carefully. "It looks like an unripe prune."
"She said it was pickled though." Braxton stared down at the one in his hand, then looked at Keiichi and Belldandy. "This isn't some weird 'culture-food' you gotta grow up with to appreciate, is it? It's not like balut or anything, right?"
"I don't believe so..." Belldandy nibbled at the tiny plum in her hand. "What's balut?"
"Best you don't know," Keiichi muttered. "At least for now." He popped the umeboshi into his mouth without another word, and Sanchez followed his example with glee.
Urd and Skuld shared a look, then looked at Braxton. Braxton looked back, just as uncertain. As if on some unknown signal the trio took a bite of the pickled plum.
"Stupid...piece of...shit." Jackson grunted as he worked at the metal lever connecting the trailer hitch connecting the grill to the back of his truck. "Should of fucking..." McGuinness watched him off to the side, more amused than anything else. A sudden noise drew their attention, and the two looked up in time to see the front door of Jank's house flew open with a bang.
Together, the two SEALs watched in bemusement as Braxton, face pale and puckered, raced to the front porch railing, leaned over, and heaved, bringing up everything he'd eaten earlier that day. "Aw, come on man..." Jackson grimaced and looked away. "I'm gonna be cooking out here..."
McGuinness made a face and from further inside the house he could hear large, uproarious laughter. "Pickled plums," he grumbled. "Nasty, sour prunes." He shook his head and sighed, watching in pity as Braxton hung off the railing, then turned his back to help Jackson. Whatever was going on inside was something Jackson and himself wanted no part in, and if Braxton had any more sense, he'd stay outside where it was safe as well-at least until the umeboshi was gone.
"Think that asshole got Sheila and the girls to try those damned prunes of his?" McGuinness asked.
"Come on...it's Jank. Of course he got them to try that shit." Jackson's face brightened as the trailer hitch came undone. "Fucking finally," he breathed. "I'm just glad I ain't a victim this time around," he said in a louder voice. "It's worth missing Sheila's face eating one a those things knowing I ain't. Feel bad for that Bell-chick though. She seems like enough of a sweetheart that tricking her to eat something like that comes off as mean."
"Speak of the devil." McGuinness watched as someone else raced out the door, this one Belldandy who appeared no more weathered than when McGuinness had dipped out of the house. She trotted over to Braxton, who didn't even bother glancing at her, and spoke to him, then offered him a water bottle. The man rinsed his mouth out, then forced himself up and back inside the house, stumbling a bit as he went. Belldandy watched him head back inside, then looked over to where Jackson and McGuinness stood before trotting over. There were two additional water bottles in her right hand. McGuinness raised a brown brow. "Are those for us?"
Belldandy nodded. "Peace offerings," she explained. "Keiichi thinks he drove you away with the umeboshi."
"Well, he's not wrong," Jackson commented, then swore wildly as he hoisted the large grill up onto its wheels and pushed it across the yard away from the cluster of vehicles. "Hey Belldandy, what you want on the grill?"
"I'm sorry?" Belldandy followed his path in confusion as McGuinness twisted the cap off one of the water bottles and took a sip.
"He's asking what you'd like to eat off the grill," McGuinness clarified. "Jackson brought a good variety of meat with him, and since you're out here you might as well call dibs."
"Oh, um..." Belldandy looked nervously between the two of them. "I don't...ah..."
"Are you vegetarian?" McGuinness asked. "I brought some veggie burgers just in case. Keiichi didn't specify if you or the ladies inside followed any specific diet."
Belldandy made a disgusted face, and in that moment the man knew that the burgers would sit forgotten in the freezer. "Goodness no," she grumbled. "Why would anyone...no, no, sorry."
"Why are you apologizing for?" With a grunt, Jackson situated the grill in his designated spot, then moved to join them, taking the remaining water bottle from McGuinness, opening it, and drinking deeply. He chugged half the bottle before speaking. "Not sure what I got?" he asked. "I got burgers, dogs, brats, ribs, chicken..." He smirked. "I can even be convinced to break out the steaks I got marinating if it suits you. What you like?"
"Oh, um..." A brief flash of panic danced across her face. "I...let-let me go and ask the other and see what they want." She looked ready to bolt back into the house like a frightened deer, and McGuinness glanced at Jackson.
Jackson smiled-a friendly smile, one he'd seen the man use whenever there were kids around or when he was trying rather hard not to come across as a large, scary SEAL with a penchant for breaking doors open. "Nah, screw those guys. There's plenty for everyone and I don't see Jank coming out here and giving us water. Come on, I know you gotta want something. What is it?" He looked at her with large, pleading eyes. "Promise I won't tell," he whispered.
Belldandy stared at him, then glanced at McGuinness with large, nervous blue eyes. Taking the hint, he wandered towards his truck, whistling loud enough to drown out any whispered conversations. He still caught a hint of it though, "Bra-" And then whistled louder still to drown it out further, instead withdrawing the large, heavy-duty radio he used whenever he was working on his truck from the back seat. When he had the monstrous black beast in hand and had turned back towards the house, Belldandy was jogging away, face red as though she'd just told Jackson her deepest crush.
Jackson watched her go as well, and as McGuinness stood beside him, the man sighed. "What sort of fucked up hell does a person have to go through to make 'em afraid of talking about food?" he asked, though the question wasn't directed towards McGuinness himself. He looked sad. "Man... I hope Jank and Sheila can help her out..." he muttered. "Tank... the look on her face... it was heartbreaking."
McGuinness slapped him on the shoulder. "They'll do what they can, and if they ask us, so will we." He rumbled. "Now come on. Let's get this bastard rust-bucket you call a grill started."
XXX
Aiko smiled, watching Skuld with laughing eyes as the two of them sat down on the Ugly Beast with paper plates loaded with chicken, baked beans, and salad with bits of egg and potato in it. "Potato and egg salad, huh?" she asked, cracking open a beer as Skuld shot her a glare.
"Shut up Sour Patch," she growled. "Magilla said it was a fucking salad, okay? Who the hell adds mayonnaise to a salad? That's disgusting."
"Aww..." Aiko showed little sympathy. "Is Chi-Chi Huahua still sour about the umeboshi?"
"Don't you start!" Skuld snapped. "Bad enough I let you and that ape of a brother of yours trick me into eating that-that thing, but I'll be damned before I allow you to follow his fondness of nicknames."
"But it was only one," Aiko emphasized. "And Belldandy had one too, and she didn't mind it!"
Skuld stared at her, contemplating the wisdom of throwing caution to the wind and shoving the plate filled with chicken, baked beans, and salad that was not egg or potato salad in the college student's face. After a brief battle of conscious, the angel on her shoulder succeeded and instead she jabbed a chicken thigh with her fork. Repeatedly. "Belldandy's also been living in Japan for the past ten years." She growled. "Whereas I don't go around licking lemons because I enjoy the flavor."
"At least you ate it." Aiko sent her a smug smirk, then sent a sidelong glance towards Urd. "I don't think I've ever seen a woman move so fast to the bathroom. She fucking flew out of the kitchen."
"Wouldn't be surprised if she did," Skuld muttered, voice low as McGuinness passed with a plate of burgers and hot dogs in hand. Her eyes trailed after him in interest, and as the man took a seat in one of the folding chairs in the living room he looked back at her, perhaps sensing her gaze. She averted her eyes. "That stuff was bad, I'll admit, but not the worst thing I've ever eaten." She looked back at Aiko, this time in disgust. "And you and your brother ate that shit like it was candy!"
"Sanchez too," Aiko remarked. "But then again, he loves lemon and lime, so that makes sense. It tastes better combined with other foods-especially in onigiri." She smiled. "I don't think I've ever seen someone's face pucker like yours did though. With how Urd spoke of ghost peppers, my money would have been on her keeping it down, not you."
"Urd likes spicy food," Skuld grumbled. "I do not. And unless something's changed with Belldandy in the past ten years, she doesn't either."
A hurried rush came down the stairs, and Skuld turned to watch as Urd rushed by with a large, wild grin on her face. "Speaking of which..." she murmured, watching her older sister's retreat with narrowed eyes. "What's she up to?"
"Maybe putting ghost pepper powder in Braxton's baked beans?" Aiko suggested, and Skuld shuddered.
"I hope not," she muttered, then scowled. "Better not be some horrible potion of hers either."
Aiko looked at her in alarm. "Wait, what do you mean?" she asked. "The potion she gave us earlier was fine." She twisted to look back into the dining room, but the adjoining wall blocked her vision. "Should I be afraid? Because I don't like the way you just said what you said. That's something that tells me I should be afraid. Very afraid."
Skuld winced. "Well...maybe?" she asked. "Urd had a-a history."
"You've said that before," Aiko reminded her.
"Yeah, well, it's the truth," Skuld scowled. "She's mellowed out a lot since... well, actually, I guess since meeting your brother, but before then...well...let's just say that despite her best interests, the methods to reach them were always a little...shady, at best."
"So..." Aiko stared at her in earnest, "...like, shady how?"
"Uh..." She looked at Aiko, then over at McGuinness, who was busy devouring a hot dog in three large bites. "Um...emotional manipulation potions?" she threw out. "She always liked to profess she was a 'goddess of love', which is stupid, because she's the Norn of the Past, but..."
"Urd makes love potions?" Aiko stared at her in disbelief, and Skuld cringed.
"In layman's terms...yes?"
"Oh my god." Aiko stared at Skuld in growing apprehension. "Oh my god. Urd's about to roofy my brother."
As if to verify their fears, laughter erupted from the dining room, and sharing a look the two women scrambled off the couch and into the dining room. McGuinness's voice rose behind them, "Aiko, what's wrong?" And then the two were gone, with Team 12's commander thundering after them.
What they found instead was nothing like what either woman expected. Perhaps it was better for that.
More likely, it was far, far worse.
Urd had been drinking.
So had Jackson. Since he'd started grilling, and that been a good hour or so ago. The man was getting up there in the amount of beers he'd knocked back.
With their drunkenness combined, they'd started some horrible, embarrassing show that left Skuld staring in confusion and Aiko cringing. Behind them, any further words McGuinness was about to ask came to an abrupt halt. Because what Urd had in her possession was not a potion, not a pill, not even a can of beer but instead a red bottle of Old Spice Bearglove. Cackling madly, she tossed it to Jackson, who'd already abandoned his plate of food. The man caught it with ease, looked to Belldandy, who was sitting directly across from him with a hot dog in her hand, and roared in a loud, booming voice, "OLD SPICE BEARGLOVE IS THE BEEEEEST!"
The hot dog fell from Belldandy's grip as she'd been about to bite into it. It fell to the plate with a clatter, and the brat fell out of the bun it'd been stuffed in and onto the table, rolling to the far end and leaving a trail of smeared red and yellow in its wake. Belldandy didn't notice. She was too busy staring at Jackson, mouth agape. "I knew it," she breathed.
"Oh god." Aiko brought a hand to her mouth, though Skuld wasn't certain if it was to hide laughter or her horror. Keiichi, sitting on the end next to Belldandy, stared at Jackson with wide, disbelieving eyes. "Oh no...Skuld, cover your eyes, you'll go blind." Sanchez stood beside Urd, an arm around the woman's shoulders as the two howled with drunken laughter, and further away stood Braxton, who was fighting to hide the smirk on his face. Jackson continued his Terry Crews impression, then took it a step further as he pulled off his shirt and tossed it aside, putting on a show for everyone as he flexed his muscles.
Belldandy's eyes bulged in their sockets, and the woman stuttered out, "Ex-explosions?!" She looked all at once torn between shielding her gaze and staring, and the combination of that and the heavy flush that dropped into her face was enough to make Skuld worry that Jackson had somehow broken her poor older sister.
"Keiichi, do something!" Skuld cried. "Don't just let him stand there like that!" Keiichi looked to be in a similar state to Belldandy, eyes wide in surprise but frozen in his chair, staring at Jackson as though wondering if the man had lost his mind. He jumped at Skuld's voice, perhaps roused by her demands, and then rose from his chair. Skuld sighed with relief. At least someone had the sense to put an end to this madness.
"Yo, Jackson, knock it off," he said. "You know you can't pull that shit here! Not without these guns out!" Mirroring Jackson's earlier actions, the man pulled off his own shirt in one swift motion and struck a pose.
Skuld's jaw dropped. Next to her, Aiko buried her face in her hands in embarrassment. "No..." She groaned, "I don't want my brother to be a JoJo character. Make it stop."
Keiichi must have heard her, because he looked over at the two, his face as serious as could be, and struck another pose with a cry of "ORA!"
Belldandy looked like she'd stopped processing what she was seeing a long time ago. Blood was beginning to trickle from her nose.
Behind them, McGuinness sighed. "I'm going back to eat," he muttered, turning and leaving the madness before it could affect him further.
Aiko let her hands drop and nodded. "Yeah," she said with a tight voice. "That's a good idea." She hooked an arm around Skuld's shoulders. "Come on Skuld, let's go."
"What-" Skuld looked at Aiko in shock. "No! I can't just let this go on! Belldandy needs my help!"
"It's too late for her." Aiko's voice was flat with sarcasm. "Leave her to her fate. She's beyond saving now."
"Damn it!" Skuld protested, "Let me go, Aiko!" She didn't put up much of a fight.
"No." She dragged Skuld back into the living room. "Let them go and make idiots of themselves. I'm hungry, and unless that can of Bearglove has some kind of crazy roofie potion mixed into it, I don't think Urd's going to pull anything." Under her breath she muttered, "She's already pulled enough as it is."
Together the duo returned to the couch, Skuld muttering obscenities under her breath every time a wave of laughter rose from the dining room. Eventually though, she managed to block out whatever madness was progressing within the kitchen and focused on her meal, taking a moment to savor the flavor of the grilled chicken. Even if Jackson had all the reason of a drunk Loki when alcohol came into play, the man was pretty good with a grill. For a mortal. She'd almost dare to compare it to some of the roasted meals she'd had with Grandpa Odin and Uncle Cernunnos. The marinades used to flavor the meat held a bit of spice that made her tongue tingle but were not overtly spicy, mixed with a tang that reminded Skuld of oranges. It complimented the chicken's flavor rather well, and the skin was a crispy treat she rather enjoyed.
Moving to the salad, Skuld let her eyes drift to McGuinness, allowing her gaze to settle on him. The man was focused on his own meal and didn't seem to notice her looks, which for Skuld was fine. She wanted to observe him in silence, without his knowing, because, admittedly, there was something she found attractive about him. McGuinness was different in some ways from Keiichi and the rest of his crew. Quiet. Yet there was power in his frame and in his build, and no matter where he went he seemed to project that out, and that power was what had so demanded the respect and obedience of his team. He's humble. She thought. He doesn't go around making a show of how amazing him or his team is.
Now that was a refreshing change of pace. Skuld, hailing from a family of warrior-gods herself, was well versed with the arrogance they brought. Uncle Thor was probably the worst, even when he meant well, which was why Loki had so much fun picking on him. Even her parents weren't safe from that arrogance; if they weren't bragging about their own skills-which, admittedly, her mother had stopped after having Skuld-then they were bragging about their daughters and the accomplishments of the Norns. It was embarrassing, and had always been something that made Skuld cringe. Shit, even when Urd or Belldandy did it-usually praising someone else-Skuld was liable to duck out. She didn't like praise or arrogance or talk, because talk was cheap. Anyone could claim they were good at something, but unless they acted on those words, they were about as useless as thumbs on a fish. But McGuinness didn't talk. He let his actions speak for themselves, and as a woman of action herself, she could respect that.
Aiko caught her staring, and lost in her own thoughts, Skuld didn't notice until the woman whispered to her. "You making eyes at McGuinness?"
Skuld almost choked on her food, then twisted to stare at Aiko with wide eyes.
Aiko smiled. "You never struck me as the type to go after the older crowd. And McGuinness of all people? Good ol' Tank himself?" She shook her head in disbelief, but the smile did not fade. In the dining room another peal of laughter rose from Urd and Sanchez. "You should go and talk to him."
"I should what?" Skuld stared at the woman with disbelieving eyes, then risked a glance at McGuinness.
"Go talk to him!" Aiko urged. "I know you're interested in him! You should go and talk to him. Get to know him. He's a great guy, even if he is old enough to be my uncle." She shrugged. "But who am I to judge! You're a goddess, he's a guy, Belldandy's a goddess, Keiichi's a guy, I mean, the potential is there, don't get me wrong, so why not go for it?"
Skuld paled, staring at Aiko with wide deer-in-headlights eyes before looking back to McGuinness. "I...um..." She trailed off, then looked down at her food and proceeded to stuff a fork full of salad-with-egg-and-potato into her mouth, ending the conversation with food.
Aiko stared at her queerly. "Wait..." She murmured. Skuld ate faster. "Wait, you mean you act all tough and mighty, talking 'bout how you gonna kick ass and take names and beat the shit out of anyone who so much as looks at you wrong, but then you find a guy you like and you clam up into a little girl?" She stared at Skuld, and then her disbelief turned into a smug grin. "Oh...Oh I know your type."
"I don' ha' a 'ype," Skuld said between a fork full of beans. Her face was turning red. She looked like she very much wanted to change the subject.
Aiko's smile grew larger. "Oh yes you do," she said, and it came out in a long, slow, purr. "You're the type that acts tough as balls but ain't nothing but a kitten inside, aren't ya?" The smile grew wide. "I bet you don't even know how to talk to a guy, do you? You couldn't tell another man you were interested in him if your life depended on it because the thought alone scare the shit out of you. Admit it."
Skuld swallowed, then turned and looked Aiko dead in the eyes. "Fuck. You." She said. Then quickly returned to Braxton's baked beans.
Aiko shrugged. "Oh well. Guess I'll just have to tell Urd and Belldandy what a pussy you are."
Skuld choked.
Aiko didn't notice. "And to think, you're all bark and no show...damn, what a shame. Kei will never let you live this down."
For a long moment Skuld said nothing. She stared at Aiko with large, round eyes. The woman bit her lower lip, then pursed them together into a thin line, jaw working with such strain that she could hear the muscle and bone creak like an old squeaky staircase. She then set her plate to the side and rose without a word, hiding her nerves behind a mask of steel. "Fine." Her voice held a level of calm she didn't feel. Not with the way her heart was fluttering in her chest. "Fine, I'll go talk to him. Oh Yggdrasil, she felt sick. "And then I'm going to come back here and murder you with a spoon."
"Oh?" Aiko raised a brow in challenge. "A horribly slow murder with an extremely inefficient weapon? So now you're the Genosaji?"
"Yes." Fuck it, she'd find out what that was later. With a final glare Skuld turned and approached McGuinness, who looked up from his plate as she drew near. He stared at her in question, and Skuld could feel her heart racing.
"Ma'am?" McGuinness placed his meal to one side of his foot, staring at her in open concern. "Is everything alright? You appear rather pale."
"H-hey you..." Oh Yggdrasil. By the Great Tree's third root. She'd rather be sparring Urd with that stupid 'Brazillian Jui-Jitsu' that her older sister had started teaching her a couple of years back. Maybe eating a ghost pepper and destroying the lining of her stomach. Anything but here. "Y-you must be a-a god, because you and I would, would be divine together."
McGuinness leaned back, eyes growing wide before he began to blink rapidly, as though something had fallen into his eye. He shook his head slightly, yet that could have been in as much disbelief as a flat out denial. "Lass..." Skuld could feel her cheeks color as it grew increasingly hot. "I-I'm flattered, but-" The man looked past Skuld, and Skuld kept her eyes glued to the floor. The man coughed. "I believe you should be using those lines on someone a little closer to your age. Not an ugly old brute like myself." Then in a lower voice, he whispered, "Aiko put you up to this, didn't she." Skuld buried her face in her hands in an unconscious imitation of Belldandy, and the large man sighed. "I apologize, Ms. Highkin." And then in a louder, booming voice, "Braxton! Come here a moment."
"What's up?" Skuld peeked through her fingers, watching as Braxton approached through narrow gaps.
"I do not believe you and Ms. Highkin have had a chance to speak much." McGuinness gently-awkwardly-touched her shoulder. "Why don't the two of you entertain each other for a bit? I must speak with Aiko on something."
Skuld heard an almost inaudible "Fuck." From somewhere near the Ugly Beast.
McGuinness left without another word, and Skuld let her hands drop from her face. "Oh goodness." She grimaced, and a piece of her found herself wishing she had Urd's advice for this sort of situation. The mere fact that she actually wanted to consider her eldest sister's advice on such matters made her want to laugh. Or scream.
Braxton looked at her red face but seemed smart enough not to comment on her embarrassment. "So," He said instead, "Are you divine? Because I still think I know a goddess when I see one."
Yggdrasil, and he had the bad tact to use the same pickup line on her as he had Belldandy. You know what, screw it. She could feel a fresh blush rise up in her cheeks, then smiled through the flush. "And if I am?"
Braxton smiled. He has dimples. Skuld noticed. How cute. "Then how about I take you for a ride in my chariot like Mani 'round the moon?"
"Will there be wolves baying at our backs?" Skuld felt some of her embarrassment fade.
"They'll be howling songs of our love back to Sol," he said with a wink, and despite herself, Skuld laughed. It felt good to laugh. It felt honest.
I haven't laughed like this in ages. Skuld realized, and perhaps, for that reason alone, a part of her was grateful to the strange mortal for it. "Tell me more," she challenged, and alone in the living room, with a large tank of a man hunting down a college student outside and a madhouse of drunks roaring in the dining room, the two of them spoke.
And so the night continued.
A/N: Fun chapter. I love Aiko's reaction to the Norns.
Comments of a Madwoman: The first time I had umeboshi a coworker introduced it to me under the same principle Aiko and Keiichi used on the Norns. I have never tasted something so sour since, and while I will never dare touch another one alone, they are surprisingly good in rice balls.
