Selim was relieved that he had managed to smooth things over before a serious argument could get going. He had overheard his parents fighting before and didn't like to admit it, but the experience had distressed him. The things he'd heard had made him want to crawl under his bed to hide.

"I am not an infant," He told himself "I should not be afraid!" But still he lay there petrified. In the end he'd settled for pulling his blanket over his head and eventually had fallen asleep.

Even now the memory troubled him. Selim had a naturally cheerful nature and his parents were his whole world. He idolised his mother; she was the most wonderful, the kindest, funniest, cleverest person in the universe, the person who made everything alright. And brave, Selim knew she was brave.

"Your mother is small but she is … formidable." His father had told him once, in human language.

"Formid-dable? What is that word?" Selim had asked him.

"It means …do not … mess with her." His father had said, grinning.

Selim liked the word "My mother is formidable." He said to himself proudly, for the rest of that day. It was the word he always thought of when he thought of her.

His father…. Selim sometimes lay awake at night wishing he could grow up just like him. In Selim's eyes he was all-powerful; an almost godlike figure. He could hunt and kill any animal, no matter how ferocious. He sometimes felt he'd almost burst with impatience before he learned to do all the things his father could. Some of the things he had told Selim about the creatures he and his mother had hunted in the past made him feel cold all over. He could never imagine his father being afraid of anything. "Why would you ever be afraid when you are almost invincible?" Selim wondered.

If he was honest, he also found him a tiny bit scary. Mei'Savir had never properly lost his temper with Selim, not really. He'd never seen him be like he had been the time he overheard the fight, when he'd been so angry with his mother. Then… oh, then Selim had been glad he wasn't in the room because even just hearing him through the wall had been truly terrifying. His voice was deafeningly loud, roaring and snarling a lot of awful words in his own language. He could hear his Mother yelling back at him and wondered how she could dare. They had said a lot of things to each other he didn't understand, but they sounded very terrible. There were awful noises that sounded like things being thrown around and he wondered if they were fighting for real, not just with words.

The next day he'd woken up and everything was just normal "They both seem happy this morning," He thought, puzzled "Just like it was all a dream. Maybe they forgot about it already."

He had tried to forget it too – who knew why adults acted as they did? Mostly, as long as the twin deities in his life were in harmony with each other, everything was right with the world.

Things weren't right with his world today, not now Selim had managed to ruin everything and shame himself and reveal his cowardice in front of his father.

It had started out so well: Selim had been pestering Mei'Savir for a very long time to be allowed to go out hunting bigger game and finally he'd managed to convince him. They went hunting all the time of course. "But we just hunt birds and crocodiles – little creatures!" Selim had said pettishly "Nothing really big and fierce."

His mother smiled at him "That's because you're not big and fierce yet." She said tickling him and making him squirm "Look at your skinny chest!"

"Mei'Varsi!"{trans: Mother} He said irritably in hunter's language, which he always thought made him sound more grown up "I am big and fierce; I am almost five years old!"

There was a short burst of purring laugher from his father. He was sitting in the pilot's chair, feet up on the console as he sharpened his wrist blades.

"He needs to learn sometime how to defend himself." He stopped what he was doing to look at Selim appraisingly "He is big enough," He said eventually "He may as well start now."

"He's too young for that sort of thing!" His mother had said.

"I am not!" Selim protested.

"He is not." His father said with finality "If he wants to, why stop him? It has to be done sometime and it had better be done sooner than later."

And this was how they'd come to play at stalking. Selim writhed with shame and misery as he remembered it "Now I have spoiled everything by showing him my weakness!" He thought "He will never believe I can do anything now!"

Lex noticed Selim seemed very quiet that evening. He'd often been like that recently; quiet and withdrawn. She watched him anxiously. He was usually so happy-go-lucky by nature but just lately something seemed to be troubling him. He was not his usual self. She went into his room to take the bug shocker off him before he went to bed. He was so subdued she sat down next to him.

"Is everything alright Selim?" She asked him finally, as he was getting ready to sleep "Are you upset about something?"

Her son looked up at her with those huge, candid eyes. She could see he was upset.

"Father is not happy with me," He said miserably "Because I did not use the bug stick. Now he thinks I am a coward."

Silently she cursed Scar and yautja machismo "I'm sure he doesn't." She said softly "You didn't want to hurt him, I'm sure he understands."

"But I was afraid!" The boy said, his voice quavering slightly "I do not know why! It was like I was frozen, like… I could not move!"

"Well it's alright to be scared, everybody gets scared sometimes."

"He doesn't!" Selim said and it hurt her to see how hard he was trying not to cry "He is never afraid of anything! And now he thinks I am a coward!"

She put her arms around him and held him for a minute and felt his breathing a little uneven as he gulped back the sobs. She knew he hated anyone to see him cry. Even though he wasn't yet five, he had already absorbed some of the Spartan code of behaviour that his father's species lived by. Try as she might to counteract the harshness of the yautja philosophy, there just didn't seem to be any getting away from it.

When his shoulders became steady she looked him in the face "Listen Selim," She said "Everyone – including your father – feels fear at some time in their life. Maybe they don't always show it, but they do. It doesn't make you a coward. You ask him if he's ever been afraid. I'm sure he'd tell you the truth." ("Or I'll kill him!" She thought furiously)

Selim was impressed "It must have been something really scary, if he was afraid!"

She sighed hopelessly at the undisguised hero-worship ringing in every word. How could she tell him that besides being brave his father could also be an arrogant, insensitive, stubborn bully who thought it was his divinely bestowed right to bend everyone else to his will. She couldn't say that when the boy idolised him so much.

"You just have to remember that your father," She said, choosing her words with care "Was brought up in a totally different way to me, so we see things very differently. Where I grew up there is nothing wrong with showing fear sometimes, when you have a good reason."

"What do you mean brought up differently?"

"Well hun – I mean, yautja – like your father is, aren't brought up by their parents."

Her son's yellow eyes widened "Where did he grow up?"

"On a big spaceship full of other males like him."

"But why? Who looked after him?" He said, puzzled.

"The older males take the younger ones away from their parents so they can learn to fight from when they're very little children."

"I wish I could do that," Selim said breathlessly "Then I would be really amazing at fighting too!"

"Well then you wouldn't live with me or him," She said, trying to hide her smile "But maybe you'd prefer that? Should I send you?"

"Oh, no!" Her son's face fell "I never want to leave you Mom – I mean, Mei'Varsi!"

"Well that's good. You'll just have to stay with me then." She hugged him and kissed the top of his head "And you can still call me Mommy if you want to. I don't mind human pet names."

Lex closed the door to Selim's room determined to go and confront Scar, she couldn't let him continue to upset the boy like this.

"Most of the time he's good with him," She reminded herself, trying to keep calm. It was true, she had to remember that. Of the two of them, it was he who spent the most time satisfying Selim's almost endless appetite for rowdy physicality. He indulged Selim's fondness for mock-fighting, something she found harder to do because even though he was still a child Selim had inherited the greater size, strength and durability of his father's species and he hadn't yet learned to control his movements enough to keep from inflicting real harm.

It didn't bother his father; he let their son maul him, attack him and clamber all over him, encouraged it in fact. Although he would retaliate ("He is not going to learn anything if I do not fight back!" He would shrug if she objected) he would restrain himself enough to keep from seriously hurting him.

He also took Selim hunting most days. There was no point telling him not to do so "Might as well tell him not to breath in and out!" She thought resignedly. At least she knew she could trust him to keep Selim safe. Sometimes she went with them, sometimes she didn't. Sometimes they were gone for hours and came back soaked to the skin, or plastered in mud or worse, blood – though it was generally not their own. Then Selim would give her a long and enthusiastically detailed account of everything that had happened that day.

"You have to see the crocodile we caught Mother!" He had told her breathlessly the previous week "He jumped up out of the swamp right in front of us and he was snapping his teeth like this!" Selim clapped his hands together.

"Sounds dangerous!" She rested her chin on her hand "So what did you do?"

"I dropped my snare over his head and he pulled me into the water because he was so strong and all I could hear was this whooshing noise in my ears."

"Oh no!" She put a hand over her mouth in mock terror, though she could see he was perfectly alright "And what happened next?"

"Father pulled me out of the water and then grabbed him by the head and squeezed his jaws together!" Selim was on his feet now, exuberantly acting out everything "And then the crocodile tried to pull him under the water, but he pulled him back out and stabbed him in the eye! And then he cut his throat with the dah'kte!" Selim finished by drawing his finger across his throat making a squelching noise with his mouth, clearly meant to indicate throat cutting "And then he was dead, so we brought him back to show you."

She arched an eyebrow at his father "You wrestled a crocodile?"

He grinned at her, almost as much of a naughty child as his son "Only a small one, hardly worth mentioning really."

"He was not small!" Selim had spluttered indignantly, outraged at his father's efforts to downplay the drama of his story "Mommy he was enormous! His jaws were so big he could have eaten your whole head!" And he had stretched his arms wide to demonstrate the hugeness of the jaws.

Standing outside her son's room, she sighed and drew her hand over her eyes "He spends a lot of time with him and he does try to teach him things. I know he would die to protect him. I just wish I knew what's gotten under his skin lately to make him act like such a – "

As she re-entered the cockpit, he was frowning over the engine parts that lay spread over an animal skin on the floor. He didn't look up when she came in "You realise I could fix this quite easily, just as I have done already for the power cells and air recyc unit -" He said over his shoulder "The turbine is not seriously damaged."

She didn't answer right away but stood there tapping the bug thumper against her leg in agitation. Finally she said in English "What the hell is up with you right now?"

He turned "I do not… know what you mean."

"Why are you giving Selim such a hard time?"

"Of what are you… speaking?"

"I mean if you want him to grow up to hate your guts, you're going about it the right way!"

"I would rather … he hates me," He scowled at her and stood up "Than… let him grow up timid and weak because I have… failed to teach him proper discipline."

"Oh come on!" She spat "Don't give me that! You know as well as I do that you're his hero and you would be devastated if that ever changed so don't give me this 'I care for nothing but honour' routine. I know it's bullshit!"

"I think perhaps you do not grasp my meaning," He said, throwing himself down in the pilot seat and shifting into his own language as he always did when his temper started to rise "Even now it is obvious to me that he has inherited my size and strength, but he does not have my disposition and that troubles me. He needs to go for the kill and not shrink."

"No he doesn't, why should he? Selim's just a child!"She protested "He's a sweet boy, just because he's not aggressive by nature doesn't make him weak."

"He is no longer an infant, he is growing up and if he is not naturally aggressive then he had better learn to be." He said savagely "You tell me humans will not accept him but when he is grown the clan might be persuaded to… if he can show that he is fierce and pitiless. Yautja take whatever they are strong enough to take – I imagine it is the same for humans… if you would only admit it."

"We are not such worshippers of brutality as you are!"

"Is that so? Then why are you here with me and not with some placid human specimen?"

"I ask myself that same question all the time!"

"You know the reason; it is because such a creature would be of no use to a she-devil like you!" He purred "What would he do; sit obediently at your feet like a pet?"

She flushed with anger, riled by his assessment of her "I'm just saying there are different types of strength!"

"And you know as well as I that only one type of strength counts for the Rough Skulls."

"What about Nar'Jat? He is your leader and you are definitely stronger than him – you are twice his size!"

He snorted "Nar'Jat did not become our leader by being 'sweet'. What he lacks in size he makes up for in speed and cunning. He is without mercy or scruple. That is what Selim would be up against so he has to learn to be unflinching or he will not last a day. When I say that this matters more than selfish considerations about my son's good opinion of me, I am entirely serious."

"Good opinion?" She rolled her eyes "He was miserable tonight because he is worried you think he is a coward. He was crushed! I suppose that is you being unselfish?"

"Is there a brain inside that tiny human skull of yours?" He demanded, making her eyes narrow with rage "Just ask yourself for a moment what would have happened if I had truly been an enemy and Selim missed his chance to incapacitate me because he was afraid – do you think an enemy would hold back because he is a child? I noticed that your weapon was lying out of reach also."

"I knew you were around, and I am certain that if it had been anyone other than you, Selim would have fired!"

He curled his lower jaw in irritation "He did not even know it was me until I made myself visible, neither of you did!"

"You really think I don't know when you're there?" She shot back "For God's sake Scar, what the hell has got into you recently? Why are you acting like this? You're a goddamn nightmare to be around right now!"

"Nightmare!?"He snarled "Shall I tell you the 'nightmare' that I have? It is that both of us are dead and Selim is left defenceless and alone without anyone to protect him!"

"Why do you suddenly think that we are going to die? Why should anything happen to either of us?"

"Is it really possible you have forgotten the many situations we have barely escaped with our lives?" His eyes glowed "Nearly a hundred days I spent on this ship waiting for you to come out of your coma. What do you think that was like, hrrrrmmmm? Selim screaming and wailing for you like a soul in torment. Not knowing if you would ever wake up or if you would drift in the darkness forever … because you did not do as I asked!"

"If I had done as you asked," She retorted, stung by the accusation "You would already be dead and Selim would already have one less parent than he has now – I did it to save your life, because you are his father! Besides, that was years ago." She didn't like to be reminded of Hirai, of how close they had both come to dying. How she had missed the first three months of Selim's life. Her right hand still ached sometimes; it would probably never be quite the same.

"What about the last time I took down a Bad Blood shuttle?" He waved a clawed hand at the damaged engine parts on the floor, awaiting her painstaking reassembly "That was not years ago, that was days ago! They hit the engine. One of them was still alive when I boarded them. Had I not been quicker than him – "

"But you were!" She cut him off. She wasn't happy about the occasional sorties into piracy he had to make either, although she remembered angrily that it had been his idea. She had agreed to it because there were things they needed; medical supplies, weapons, spare parts. They couldn't both go, one of them had to stay with Selim. Even though she was now a more than competent pilot, she couldn't argue with his logic that it made more sense for him to do it. He was so much bigger and stronger than her. She couldn't argue but she didn't like him facing the danger alone and she always felt nauseous with worry that he wouldn't come back. She tried to hide it from Selim, but she got the feeling that he could tell anyway.

These opportunist crimes were always perpetrated against ships from a rival clan that strayed into the outer fringes of Rough Skull territory they generally inhabited. Even though they were no doubt classed as outlaws nowadays, she imagined that Nar'Jat would not take the trouble to police them as long as they stuck to attacking enemy ships. That wasuseful.

"It is not by my choice that we have to take risks." She said "We have always had this precarious existence and you have never agonised about it before. What has changed?"

"What has changed is that I have now come to understand how grim the situation is!" He said bitterly "Aside from us, Selim is alone. He has no allies, yautja or human, no clan to back him up; he does not even have – " His eyes narrowed " – any siblings!"

She put one hand over her eyes "Not this again."

"What has changed," He said with deliberate venom "Is that I have realised I have only one child and I am never likely to have any more, because you do not want my offspring!"

"What the hell are you talking about?" She said, unable to believe what she was hearing "It's fucking biology, Scar! I told you what Iversson said; that even the first time was a million to one chance. I can't just will myself pregnant because it's what you want!"

"Oh yes, Iver-sson, the human sssscientissst!" He sneered in unpleasantly sibilant English, rising to his feet "The one who kept you in a cage… but still you believed her when she said our children would be born ailing and deformed! You can see that Selim is not sickly or weak or stupid – he is perfect! Yet even though you know she was wrong still she has you so afraid that you have decided not to get pregnant!"

"I have decided?" She said, stunned in the face of this irrational paranoia "How could I stop it happening without you knowing?"

"Some filthy, human trick! Some female trick! I do not doubt there are means you would know of which I would not!"

"So this is what you think of me?" She said, seething at the unfairness of the accusation "Deceitful and conniving! You think I have been lying to you all along, is that it?"

"I think all that and worse!" He turned on her "But whatever underhand duplicity you are using to stop me from fertilising you, sooner or later I will do it!" He lunged at her suddenly, making a grab for her wrist.

She leapt backwards "Do not touch me, I warn you S'Kia!" She shouted at him "You are not coming near me if you cannot control your temper!"

"COME HERE!" He roared and lunged at her again, past listening to reason. This time she was expecting it.

She swung the hand holding the bug shocker towards him and pressed the trigger, letting him have it right in the centre of his chest. A bright blue spark leapt across the space between them. The force of the current slammed him backwards against the wall where he collapsed, arms and legs twitching before finally becoming still. There was a faint smell of burning in the air.

She stood there breathing deeply for a moment, looking at the end of the stick in astonishment. The weapon was on its lowest setting.

"Puny bug zapper my ass!" She said.