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-40-

Fida's Story

Memories are thoughts that arise. They're not realities. Only when you believe that they are real, then they have the power over you. But when you realize it's just another thought arising about the past, then you can have a spacious relationship with that thought. The thought no longer has you in its grip.

-Eckhart Tolle

XXX

For perhaps the first time since Urd had started their morning ritual, Belldandy woke up before her sister came calling. Her head still throbbed and her mouth felt dry as it always did after her nightly can of soda, but the pulsing was not as terrible, her mouth not quite so desert-like, and while she was still tired it was not the painful exhaustion she had come to expect with Urd's arrival. She blinked, then slowly sat up, rubbing her eyes as bits and snippets of the night before came to mind.

"Kashi-chan," she muttered.

She looked behind her and to the wall where the bed's headboard rested against it. A dreamcatcher, its threads so thin and so fine that they appeared to be made of silk, rested six inches above the headboard. It was tiny, the circle no bigger than the size of her palm, and yet densely packed; plant seeds carried by the wind lay interwoven on its strings, while a white feather with a black tip from a snowy owl dangled from a thread of leather. It was perhaps the largest item on the little dreamcatcher, and it was flanked on either side by leather threads that held the vicious, curved claw of some kind of large cat and the tooth of an equally large predator. The Norn stared at them both, trying to remember what Verdita had said they'd come from, but ended up drawing a blank. The soda had stolen that information from her, and while Belldandy remembered what the owl represented- they were her wings, after all- she could not recall what beast the claw or fang originated from.

It had been a parting gift from Verdita. An object that was not of her specialty but one she'd learned in her travels north from her home territory somewhere in South America. Verdita couldn't recall exactly where. She'd been born in a time before Man had made imaginary borders and called them 'countries', but had seemed unconcerned by that fact, only that her homeland had been a deep and tropical forest where she and all her siblings had been named either Verdita or Verdito because one hundred offspring were a hell of a lot to name and their mother didn't have time for that. If they lived into adulthood without getting eaten by larger predators then they could make a new name for themselves, but until then Verdita had been labeled with the quite unfortunate title of Verdita Sixty-Nine.

She'd learned how to make dreamcatchers from a docile desert tarantula after she'd made the journey into North America. That one had been a male, perhaps half her size fully grown whereas she'd still been an adolescent, who'd been attacked by a monstrous wasp he'd later called a 'tarantula hawk'. Between the two of them, they'd somehow managed to hold it off long enough to seek shelter, and in thanks he'd passed on his knowledge of dreamcatchers to Verdita.

"That's how I learned about Dreamweavers," Verdita had told them. They'd been traveling through the forest in the black of night. Urd had led the way, her eyes better suited to night vision than Belldandy's, and Verdita, sweet child she was, had hopped on to Belldandy's shoulder to help the goddess navigate flora that was not initially visible. "I decided that was the path I wanted to follow."

The old copperhead Urd had led them to was located deep in Virginia's woods, where the swamps and marshes gathered in thick clusters and the air smelled rank and rotten. It was a distinctly displeasing smell, and the further they'd gone the more signs they'd seen of a more supernatural presence: foxfire that cast their shadows on fallen trees. Large opossums that hissed at them in passing- Bell had wondered if one of them had been the one Peorth and she had stumbled upon- whose eyes glowed a bright yellow-green in the darkness. An alligator that walked upright like a man. Rats the size of capybaras, one of which Belldandy distinctly remembered seeing ambushed by a cottonmouth the size of an anaconda. Catfish that looked too large in the swamp waters, covered in mud and watching the passing Norns with eyes as big as Verdita. Raccoons the size of small children who nestled in dead trees or trees whose trunks bore a likeness to the face of a man.

The copperhead was an ill-tempered old bastard, from Belldandy's perspective. He appeared to them in his natural body, which would be deemed quite rude while on Midgard, but allowed to pass because they were in the gray 'Veil' of a rift between dimensions. He'd come to try and scare the Norns before recognizing Urd, and had done little aside from traumatize Verdita, whose immediate response had been to seek shelter in the depths of Belldandy's hair. That had been an uncomfortable experience, and it had taken all of Belldandy's self-control not to start tearing at her hair in order to dig the scared tarantula out.

"You're going to need to wash your hair real good when we get back home, Bell," Urd had told her, yet at Belldandy's probing had refused to tell her why.

Urd did indeed know the copperhead, much to Belldandy's bafflement, and after he'd realized who'd come to visit him, the serpent had changed his form to be like them. He became a hairless old man with dark copper skin, dressed in nothing aside from a pair of snakeskin shoes and leather pants crafted from a copperhead's hide. He'd greeted Urd like an old friend, embraced her and kissed her cheeks, and the two had talked for a while. He'd offered to share a smoke with them, which Urd had declined, and instead had explained Verdita's situation to him. He'd agreed to help them, for a price. Urd apparently was expecting this, and had his payment ready; dried tobacco leaves, the leaves still whole and with a unique fragrance that Belldandy could not quite place.

It seemed there was a reason Urd was familiar with this spirit.

Belldandy could distinctly recall questioning the old man on the legality of his actions.

"Three can keep a secret, if one of them is dead," the old copperhead- he didn't have a name and that seemed to suit him just fine- had said after strongly hinting that the legality was questionable at best.

"I see," Belldandy had replied. "And what eulogy would you prefer at your wake?" His attitude had reminded her of some of the Yakuza crime lords who'd come to visit Aoshima on occasion. Then, as now, she'd made it very apparent that threats and coercion would get him nowhere.

Then, as now with the old copperhead, proved much the same. Urd had needed to get involved before a fight broke out, and with some diplomacy and a few extra leaves of tobacco, the old snake had relented and agreed to Urd's terms.

It was as the serpent was preparing for Verdita's departure that the pink-toed tarantula had presented Belldandy with the dreamcatcher. The Veil made the world around them malleable, and when the threat the old copperhead presented had passed, Verdita had taken upon herself the form of a person, that being the barely-out-of-teens young woman Belldandy had seen in her mind.

"You're haunted by many shadows," she'd said. "I had initially planned on creating this for Señora Urd, however, after the story you shared, I feel you need it more than she does. Señora Urd has accepted the shadows of her past. You are still learning from them. It is my hope that this will ease that journey for you."

Veils, those rifts between the many dimensional planes and all the worlds cradled within, were strange places. Here the world was soft, like clay, and those that entered the Veil became like the world, soft and malleable; changeable, if the hand was willing or the spirit weak. Belldandy had heard tales of such places time and time again, where visitors came to shape and mold their bodies and their spirits into forms otherwise incapable of existing. Where couples entwined their bodies and their spirits in the forbidden arts of fusion and birthed strange and wondrous creatures never before seen, and where many a black market deal could be made when the price could be taken on the spot and in that instant.

Ansuz had warned Belldandy away from such places in her childhood. "It's a dark place," she'd claimed. "Nothing good can be bought from it, and the price is always too steep for what is obtained." Given the ill reputation it held, perhaps it was no surprise that Urd knew the creature who seemed to be the guardian of this lone rift. Perhaps, in her own time of darkness, it came as no surprise that Belldandy found herself in such a place as well.

At least, that was what she chose to tell herself.

What Verdita had done in that Veil had been strange and enlightening to Belldandy; a reminder that nothing was truly ever black or white, but more subtle shades of gray that could only be seen after viewing it from both sides of the fence. The old copperhead had rolled a stick of tobacco and had puffed it in silence with Urd in good company, and his presence had scared away even the large cottonmouth and the alligator that had walked upright like a man. Belldandy had sat on a log in front of young Verdita, and the little spider- she was an inch shorter than Lind when guised in a human body- had pulled bits and pieces of Belldandy's essence into the open. Tiny, wayward fragments that glittered like cut diamonds or like dew on a spider's web, all of which Verdita cupped, sometimes with two hands, sometimes with four, or six, or on one rare occasion- the feather- where Verdita had to roll on her back and cup the essence with eight hands. Each bit of essence condensed into a physical item: a claw, a fang, a feather. Bits of different types of seeds carried and dispersed by the wind. Colors concentrated into thin lines of fine silk. Tiny branches of an ash still green and foldable with life.

There'd been a strange energy in the air that spoke of the Veil's presence, and it had left Belldandy's body tingling in a manner she'd felt only one other time in her life, and that was when she'd been very young and very sick, and Tyr had summoned a Dis to combat whatever had so afflicted her. It had been on that occasion that Urd had stolen Tyr's mount, Sleipnir, in a venture to seek a cure for Belldandy's sickness, and had instead been taken hostage by the bastard of a mule and taken on a mad joyride through all the Nine Realms.

Every bit of the dreamcatcher had been made of a material crafted from Belldandy's own essence, and with a deftness Belldandy would have been hard-pressed to imitate. Verdita created the item with a speed that was fascinating to watch.

"This will devour the nightmares," Verdita said, and had offered the tiny dreamcatcher to Belldandy. "It is tiny because it is so dense. You'll need a strong web to keep the nightmares from escaping."

"I already have something to keep the nightmares away though," Belldandy said, thinking of Keiichi's pillow.

"Does it devour the monsters or merely chase them away?" Verdita had asked, and for that Belldandy had no answer. "I have seen them dancing in your eyes. They are the ones not bound by sleep. This will curb their appetite on your soul, though it's up to you to care for it and ensure the web stays strong."

"What do I do?"

"Keep it in a place where the sunlight will touch it," Verdita explained. "It will burn away what is not devoured by the soul in the center, and keep the colors strong and taut. If you see any black specks in its web, leave them be. The sun will dispose of them."

Now, turning on the light near her bedside, she observed the little dreamcatcher in its hand-made glory. Were there tiny black specks the size of mites along its strings? Or were her eyes deceiving her in the early pre-dawn morning? Belldandy couldn't tell. But while she couldn't remember her dreams, she did know that they had been overall peaceful in the meager hour of sleep she'd gotten since returning home with Urd, though Keiichi's pillow could have been just as likely a reason for that as the dreamcatcher. The Norn didn't know, and at the moment, she had no desire to test the theory.

A knock came from her door.

"I'm awake," Belldandy said, and Urd entered, looking more worn than Belldandy herself.

"You get any more sleep?" she asked.

"Yes," Belldandy said. "Though not much, given we returned around three. What of you?"

"Didn't bother." Urd shrugged. "We sing, we come home, and I don't know about you, but I'm going straight back to sleep."

"That sounds like a marvelous idea," Belldandy muttered. "I'm awake now, but I'm sure by the time we return, I'll be ready to go to sleep once more."

"True that," Urd grumbled, and yawned mightily. Belldandy yawned a moment later. "I made some tea if you'd like some. Strongest brew I could muster."

"You're a blessing at times, Urd."

"Enjoy it while you can," Urd joked. "I won't always be there to coddle you."

XXX

Keiichi returned home to a quiet, peaceful house that night. It was nice. Enjoyable, even. A reminder of what he was striving to regain in the relationship between Belldandy and himself. Both of the Norns were in the living room when he came inside, and what he saw made him smile. Belldandy and Urd were piled up against each other on the Ugly Beast, their shared breath the slow and easy rhythm of sleep. He slipped past them, trying to be silent, and succeeded with a stealth not often granted to him in his own house.

A quick change, and the man opened his laptop on the personal computer table Urd had ragged him into buying on yet another furniture shopping trip. He logged in and checked his profile; a private social media profile that helped him keep connected with the family back home. Aiko had recently posted a picture, and with it Keiichi groaned.

It was his sister posing with an uncomfortable looking Nebo. Aiko had photoshopped a cartoonish joint into the picture and had placed it against the deity's lips under the catchphrase: "Smoke weed erry day." Off in the background, near Aiko's car, was an animated gif of a grooving Snoop Dog.

"For fucks' sake, Aiko." The man groaned, and then groaned louder when he saw who had commented on the picture. His family, for one, who recognized his house. Debra, for another, and fuck wasn't that the last thing he wanted to see. All of Team 12 for the big finale, to include a comment from Mac in big, bold capitals: 'IS THAT JANKS HOUSE?'

"I swear to god, Aiko, if you weren't my sister I'd strangle you," he grumbled, then looked at the timestamp for when his boss had posted the comment. Five minutes ago. Well la-de-fucking-da, he was going to be pushing up daisies tomorrow.

The man took a deep breath. Well, fuck it. May as well be hung for a sheep as for a lamb, as his father-in-law used to say. He'd already get his ass grilled by Mac for Aiko's photo, so he might as well get a few laughs in on his own account. A crooked smile on his face, the man typed in his own response to the image: Stop dragging your druggie dealing boy toy to my house, Bengal. This is an opium-only household!

He got an immediate response not even a full minute later from Aiko: Fuck you and your fancy drugs! Ain't nobody got time for that!

This was quickly followed by three misspelled versions of the word 'WHAT?!' by his OIC, Takano, and Keima.

Sanchez popped up a few minutes later as Keiichi pulled up a new tab and opened a cheap airfare ticket agency. "Ah sheet, hide yo' kids, hide yo' wives, hide yo' husbands too!"

Morrison, the lone now-retired member of Team 12 who'd had his toes blown off during one of the deployments Keiichi had missed, popped up with his own two cents. "Quick Angel! Back into the closet with me!"

"But your wife! Your kids!" Sanchez replied.

"You're the only one that matters to me, sweet Angel! You're my waifu!" Morrison responded, and as the strange drama began to play across Keiichi's feed so too did a series of interlaced, though incredibly polite 'fuck you's' appear from the various Morisato members online at that time.

Snorting to himself, the man tuned them out, noting that Aiko's humor had an edge to it of late. He couldn't blame her. Humor was her coping mechanism, and if it helped her focus and not to dwell on the upcoming trip back home, Keiichi was more than happy to be victimized by it. This time of year always made Aiko antsy. It made him antsy too, and Megumi, and Keima and Takano, because it was getting close to the time to go back home for a visit. And he was bringing Belldandy. Urd too, now that he thought about it, and how the hell was he going to explain that to the family? "Hey guys, surprise! I'm Mormon now. Here's my new address in Utah. Hope you can visit me and the waifus!"

The thought made him both laugh and cringe at the same time. No. No way in hell. Fuck no. "Oh, her?" he said, chucking a thumb at Urd. "She's my parole officer! Surprise!" No. "She's my girlfriend's parole officer, surprise!" No, because that'd be the one time Deb would show up out of fucking nowhere and call him on his bullshit. "She's Belldandy's sister and totally not-a-goddess, surprise!" Yeah, and then would come a wack from Keima ridiculing him for dogmatic principles.

Sighing to himself, the man leaned back into his chair, stretching his arms behind his head. Maybe they could send the family for a real loop. Maybe have Urd show up as a kid and claim that Belldandy was her mama. Let fireworks fly from there and watch as Keigo started making googly-eyes at 'Urd-chan'.

Keiichi visibly shuddered at the idea. Hell no. Hell to all the no's in the world. That was just plain creepy.

Too bad it's Urd you're stuck with and not Skuld. Some little piece of him whispered. You could always have Skuld come with you as the poodle she is. Oh god.

A gentle knock came from his door. "Come in," He looked over and saw Belldandy poke her head in. "Hey."

"Welcome home," Belldandy greeted him.

"Thanks." He paused, and then asked, "Hey, I need your advice on something. The upcoming trip home... how do I explain Urd?" It was an odd question to ask. It felt odd even as it left his mouth, and for the life of him he couldn't figure out why. Maybe it was the fact that she wasn't there to add her own two cents to the conversation. Perhaps it was closer along the lines that he couldn't explain her. She didn't fit in the story he was trying to weave to the rest of his family. Hell, it had been difficult enough trying to explain away Belldandy when Keiichi had submitted his leave request to Jackson earlier today.

"Belldandy gonna watch the house while you away?" he'd asked, and fuck his luck it had been right as McGuinness had been passing too. Tank had stopped in his tracks to listen to that explanation, and it had left Keiichi feeling like a teen trying to sneak his girlfriend out of the house while his gay parents were in the living room and she was hiding behind the couch.

It had left him stuck for a moment, as Keiichi hadn't come up with a proper defense to the inquiry at that point. Saying that Bell was staying behind would have led to further inquiries from Jackson and Mac. Piper would want to check on her and make sure Belldandy was set while Keiichi was gone and Tank would want to sit him down and explain why leaving a woman he'd only known for a couple of months alone in his house was a bad idea. Explaining that Belldandy was coming with him opened up a whole new can of worms though, and while Jackson would probably pass it off and let Keiichi do his own thing- he was a grown man, after all- McGuinness would still have words for him, and his damned disapproval about the entire situation Keiichi was in regarding the Norns would have led to another talk.

In the end he'd found it safer to lean more towards the truth than dig a deeper lie with which to bury himself. Jackson, as predicted, had shrugged it off. "If you're sure, man. Good luck explaining that to your family, though, when your folks start pumping for details on how you two met."

Mac had pulled him aside for a talk, also as Keiichi had predicted. "Are you absolutely certain this is a good idea?" McGuinness had asked, and the concern in his OIC's voice had left Keiichi feeling guilty. "You've said she has issues that need to be addressed. Has she received proper care in that time?"

"Yes Sir."

"Is she in a safe enough mental state where she is capable of skipping appointments with that physician at this time?" Oooh, that had been a painful jab. An unintentional jab back to his own days in mental health, where Keiichi had attended three times a week for close to six months after returning from the deployment that had killed Fida. Again, it hadn't been intentional on Mac's part. He was worried for his troop and was expressing his concern based off past experiences with troops who'd needed to visit mental health. He'd recognized that Belldandy was an individual who more than likely needed or had a psychologist she was visiting for her own reasons, and wanted to make sure that her care wasn't interrupted when Keiichi made it clear she was going to meet the parents. That it was safe for her to go and meet the parents.

But it still hurt. Fida had been on his mind a lot recently, and McGuinness's comment, innocent as it was, had twisted that old knife a little in Keiichi's heart.

"Yes Sir," he'd told the large man, and had thought of Urd's potions. "She's been receiving regular care and has a prescription that's helping with the flashbacks. She should be fine, Sir."

"'Should' is a large step from 'will', Morisato," Tank had rumbled. "What of Miss Hildborne?" Tank had stopped referring to Urd by her nickname when Belldandy's name came up in conversation. It always left Keiichi with a sour taste in his mouth, like Tank was trying to differentiate between the woman who'd gone out drinking with him over the past five years and the woman who'd introduced herself as Interpol. Like he had two very distinct and separate images of the person 'Urd' was supposed to be, and that McGuinness didn't want to combine the two of them into one person: Urd.

"She's aware, Sir." Keiichi said, and hoped McGuinness didn't pry.

Unfortunately, McGuinness was his OIC, and while that didn't necessarily mean he needed to know the time of day Keiichi took a shit, the large man still wanted details on any kind of outside events that could affect Keiichi negatively.

The joys of the military life.

"And she approves of this?" McGuinness had asked, and then rephrased the question. "Is she allowed to let Belldandy accompany you?" Now that had been a weird question, and one that must have registered on Keiichi's face. "She is responsible for Miss Tyrsdottor's presence in the country, yes? While she works through the paperwork that will give her a new identity here?" Oh. Oh, fuck. He'd forgotten about that. "Does Miss Tyrsdotter have proper identification on her?" Keiichi had taken too long in answering that question, and Mac had drilled him with another. "Does she have the proper paperwork stating that she is allowed to be in country? Is it something Miss Hildborne can supply to her during her travels? Or is it still a 'work in progress'?"

Keiichi didn't know. Fuck, he hadn't even know what to say in that instant.

"Speak with her before I do," Mac had advised. "I want an update by tomorrow."

Fuck he hated lying to McGuinness.

"I believe you should tell them the truth," Belldandy announced, rousing Keiichi from his thoughts.

"What?" he asked.

"Your family," Belldandy clarified. "I believe that you should tell them the truth."

"That the two of you are a pair of gods hanging out at my place?"

"No," Belldandy said. "That Urd is my sister and that she is accompanying us after I went through a rough patch in my life."

"It's more complicated than that." Keiichi groused.

"Lying is more complicated than that," Belldandy retorted. "Lying requires effort. Lying requires thought. Lying requires backtracking and documentation and ensuring all your grounds are covered, where in actuality the truth is much simpler." She sighed and shook her head. "That was one thing I never understood about Urd when she decided to introduce us to Mr. McGuinness," she lamented. "Why not simply introduce us for what we are? Family? Why go through all the effort of weaving a tale of Interpol and false identities and requesting your aid under your team's nose when it could have all been avoided with a simple, 'my sister needed help and Keiichi assisted me'?" She shook her head. "It never needed to be this complicated."

"They still would have pried," Keiichi reasoned.

"And it would have been none of their business," Belldandy snapped, then flinched at her own tone. "Forgive me, I find Urd's habits of lying quarrelsome at times."

"I can tell..." Keiichi eyed her. "You don't like lying, do you?"

"No," Belldandy admitted, sighing loudly. "I do not. It is... complicated. Useless. And for a goddess holding a first class license such as myself, it is..." She pursed her lips. "We... take vows. As gods. And those vows... they are not simple words. They are what define us. They speak to our position and the abilities we are entitled. They are..." Again she paused, her hands working, grasping for the words that seemed so outside her reach. "When you take a vow, they are words," she began. "Words that hold weight to you as a person and weight to those who hear these words and choose to judge your character by those words. But they don't- they are just that. Words."

"Yet when a deity takes a vow, it is something they must abide by, as it in turn becomes a piece of their person," Belldandy continued, her words coming slow and thoughtful. "It is a literal representation of their character: Tics do not eat meat because of their vows to heal, Dreamweavers cannot sleep for they must always traverse the dreamscape, tricksters must always fall to misfortune to bring wisdom and joy to those in need of guidance, and Wishgranters must stay true to their words, for who would dare trust a creature that promises Man the world?"

Belldandy bit her lip. "Except... when there are times that Wishgranter... when I am forced to go against those vows in favor of the wish I am doomed to provide." She looked down at the floor. "Aoshima's wish was very clear to me: 'A goddess to do with as he pleases'. You need to understand, Keiichi, that is a very broad requirement for a goddess to fulfill. And Aoshima knew that. He used that. He used me. For his videos, to lie about my true age. To lie about my likes and dislikes. To lie and say I enjoyed it. To lie and call them by names they got off to. To lie and show myself as a child for their perverse pleasures."

She shook her head. "Any other time. Any other time, it would have been impossible. But as a Wishgranter, my duty was to my client, and I was required more than anything else to ensure that wish was granted for that client. The System Force required me to ensure that wish was followed, and so..." She rubbed her arm, at once looking vulnerable and scared and reminding Keiichi that Aoshima was not an old wound. He was a fresh one, one that was still infected and one that still pussed and ached and bled, and one that still hurt to think about even now.

The man rose to his feet, moving over to the goddess and wrapping his arms around her in a gentle hug. Belldandy moved into it, pressing her face into his collarbone and gripping hold of his shirt tightly. A choked sob escaped her. "It hurt, Keiichi. It hurt so much." The Norn sucked in a deep breath, and her grip grew tighter. "It was like... my nerves were alight with fire. Like my bones grew spurs that tore into tendon and muscle. Like the blood in my veins became acidic all in one instant and there was nothing I could do, nothing I could stop, and I had to stand there and smile and laugh and keep lying while by body kept-kept destroying itself as I went against my vows and-"

Whatever she was going to say next was lost in that moment, and Keiichi, in a moment of empathy, drew her close and held her tight, stroking her hair as he used to do with Aiko when her own stress got the better of her. Had it really been that bad? Over simply lying? The thought made him cold, and as his mind returned to the past he saw the video he'd first witnessed in a new light. She had endured that and claimed it was nothing in comparison. The same thing that had destroyed Aiko in one night, and ten years of that was nothing compared to a simple lie.

The knowledge sat in his stomach like a tumor, twisting in his gut like a snake covered in quills, and when Belldandy finally pulled away he stared at the goddess with a new kind of respect. "You're a strong woman, Bell." He rubbed her shoulders; not in a romantic way, but only to soothe, before hugging her tight again. "Much stronger than I think I ever realized." He drew back and Belldandy wiped her eyes, looking embarrassed and ashamed that she'd broken down in front of him. "I'll tell my family the truth," he decided. "That Urd's your sister and that she's helping you get through a rough spot, like you said." He stared up at Belldandy in earnest. "And I won't-" He scowled. "I will do whatever I can to make sure you aren't put in a spot where lying is the only option, okay?"

Belldandy nodded. She looked relieved to have said it, and Keiichi couldn't blame her. While he was aware of Belldandy's conversations with Aiko regarding her past, something told him that this particular experience, the sheer raw, open pain of it all- had never been something she'd worked up the courage to speak about. Not with how it all came flooding out at once. Not with the potent pain that even now lay splayed across the goddess's face like a new wound.

"Thank you for listening." The goddess diverted her gaze, and it made Keiichi sad. She shouldn't need to feel ashamed of opening up to him like that.

He smiled. "You know, you can always come to me if you want to talk, right?" he asked. "I mean, I'm not Aiko or Urd, but... I'm here for you, all the same. Even if it's just to vent."

"I know, I-" For a moment she looked as though ready to say more. Yet at the last moment Belldandy balked. "I'll keep it in mind." Belldandy nodded her thanks. "I will, thank you."

XXX

Still no feathers.

No signs of any budding papilla, no change in the status of wings, nothing to so much as hint at the slightest bit of progress. Argh, why was this so frustrating?! Was it too much to ask for a single quill to show there was a hint or possibility that Holy Bell's wings might recover? That she had not unintentionally crippled her angel in her carelessness and foolishness? Why couldn't she see at least some signs of progress?

She hadn't gotten any sleep that night. Instead her thoughts had left her locked in the past, where she'd stared up at the little dreamcatcher Verdita had given her with a deep frown. The little item couldn't work its magic while she was awake, which she knew, but damned if she could soothe her mind long enough to actually drift off for a few hours of rest. The Norn sighed and sat up, then rolled out of bed and left the room for the kitchen. She was making progress! Wasn't she? Holy Bell grew stronger and healthier by the day, and she now had another gift to help ease her own personal recovery in the form of the dreamcatcher. Hell, she'd even opened up to first Urd, then Keiichi! A first since coming into his household!

And yet still. Still there was nothing.

She trudged into the kitchen and grabbed a root beer from the fridge before sitting down in her usual spot at the table.

She didn't want to drink. She opened the can anyway and listened to the carbonation hiss out. She didn't want a buzz. She tapped her finger on the outside of the can, listening to the hollow pink that came with it. She just wanted a sign of progress.

She heard the floorboards groan as someone made their way downstairs. It'll be Urd again, she thought. Come to scold me and tell me to be patient and that healing cannot be rushed. It's always Urd.

Except this time it wasn't. This time the person who moved to sit down next to her wasn't Urd but Keiichi, dressed in a pair of PT shorts and a tan t-shirt, his go-to clothing when he needed to roll out of bed fast. "I heard you tossing and turning next door," he said, and his voice was low and soft, as though the silence of the night required him to whisper so as not to wake the spirits in the house. "Been noticing it for a while now," he admitted. "Figured I'd come down to check on you."

"Did Urd put you up to this?" Belldandy sent him a sideways glance, then decided she did want to drink, and took a sip of the root beer in front of her.

"No," Keiichi said. "Urd never told me anything. We just have thin walls."

"I see."

"Anything you want to talk about?" Keiichi asked. "Is it the nightmares? Are they starting to come back?"

"I-no. No, it's not the nightmares." Belldandy shook her head for effect. "It is definitely not the nightmares."

The man sighed. "That's a relief."

The conversation stalled after that. Keiichi fell into silence and offered nothing else in regards to restarting it. Belldandy contributed nothing, and felt herself grow antsy near him. She took a sip of the root beer to try and ease her nerves. She knew it would do nothing but loosen her lips once her inhibitions left her, but, well, maybe in that time Keiichi would leave her to her little drink and she could be as she was.

"Is that a beer?" Keiichi asked.

"It may as well be," Belldandy said before she could stop herself. "It's root beer," she clarified.

"Root beer... you know what, that sounds like a good idea right now," Keiichi continued. "I think I'll have one as well." The man stood and went to retrieve the drink, and so missed the obvious grimace made by the goddess in turn. She'd succeeded in hiding it by the time he sat back down. He popped the top and took a long drink. "So, you like root beer?" he asked. "I've noticed our stock has been depleting pretty fast."

"No," Belldandy admitted. "I can't stand it. I dislike soda."

Keiichi snorted. "That makes two of us," he said, and Belldandy looked over at him in confusion. "I ain't much for pop either. Especially root beer. Tastes like cough syrup to me."

Belldandy narrowed her eyes. "You're lying," she accused, baffled and somewhat hurt that the SEAL would choose to be dishonest with her after she'd just told him how much she hated lies in their conversation earlier that evening. "Your fridge is filled with it! You're drinking one right now!"

"Yep," Keiichi said, and took another long gulp for effect. "Just like you are." The statement struck a nerve in the goddess, yet as Belldandy opened her mouth to protest, Keiichi continued. "Sometimes you do things you don't enjoy to escape the things you can't stand. So what's bugging you, Bell?"

The goddess went rigid, caught off guard by the question. Keiichi took another sip of his drink, unconcerned with her silence. The Norn looked down at the drink in front of her, then back at Keiichi. When she took another sip of her drink and found no pleasure or relief in it, she pushed it off to the side. "It's... Holy Bell," she said, and found the admission hurt. "She..." Belldandy sighed. "She's recovering."

Keiichi said nothing.

"And that's a good thing!" Belldandy quickly followed. "It's a wonderful thing! She's recovering, she's gaining her strength back, she's growing healthy and her link is getting stronger and I can hear her voice more and more every day! It's marvelous! But-" She bit her lip, afraid to continue.

"Go on," Keiichi urged.

"Her... her wings," she mumbled, and her voice was so soft it could barely be called a whisper. "She... there's no feathers. She's recovering in leaps and strides and bounds, yet... not a single follicle. No quill caps emerging, nothing from the papilla... nothing!" She threw her hands up in the air at her own frustration, then buried them in her hair with a moan. "It's so... aggravating!" she cried, and with it the dams opened and the words came pouring out in a rush. "And each time I bring it up, Urd tells me to be patient, that Holy Bell is recovering, that I cannot rush feathers! As if I needed further reminders of what I already know!" She growled, then rubbed her face with one hand, massaging her temples in slow, measured circles. "I just want a sign. A hint of feathers, to let me know that I did not leave my angel debilitated for the rest of our existence. It is not so large a request, is it? Just a sign of reassurance to know that Holy Bell will be okay?"

"Seems like a reasonable request." Keiichi nodded in support. Belldandy could have kissed him right then and there.

"Yes! Thank you!" the goddess exclaimed. "Yet I am continuously told to wait and wait and wait. Have patience, for it is a virtue befitting of a goddess first-class such as yourself. Exert self-control, as you cannot rush good progress. And I understand! By the three roots of Yggdrasil and the serpent that lies coiled around it, I understand! Now please, leave me be and stop harassing me of it! You guilt me!" Her hands formed into fists, and she kneaded her brow with her knuckles. "It's just so..." Another frustrated growl left her lips.

Keiichi observed her in silence for a moment, then took another sip of his drink. "You know, this reminds me of something I went through a while ago," he said softly.

Belldandy peered at him from between her hands. "It does?" Her voice was strained and taut with stress.

"Yeah." The man nodded. "It's kind of funny, actually, because it's been on my mind a lot recently. Things keep coming up that remind me about it. A song about the desert, a word dropped in conversation..." He snorted. "Hell, there are even days where the humidity is low but the sun is high and I fucking smell the place and get thrown back to the past." He looked down at his root beer and took a long drink of it, chugging the remaining contents before slamming the can down with a gasp.

"Want me to tell you about it?" Keiichi asked.

Belldandy was silent, observing the man with suspicion. She did not mean to, but Urd had made her wary. Wary of people patronizing her and reassuring her and certain that Keiichi would do the same. "What is it about?"

"Fida," Keiichi said, then paused. "I... never told you about him, did I?"

The goddess was quiet. Keiichi nodded. "This happened a while ago. I told Urd a little bit about it from when the two of us only knew each other as drinking buddies." He pursed his lips and then looked back down at his can, as though suddenly regretting his rush to consume the root beer. "Fida was a little boy. A five year old little boy who I met in my last tour in Iraq, right before shit with ISIS in Iraq and Syria started becoming a thing." For a moment the man was quiet, and then he continued. "Fida Yazan Rahal. He loved the color green and the bulani his mother made when guests came. He had a lucky baseball card a US marine had given him two years before I knew him, and he befriended a stray dog that died a week before he did."

Belldandy turned to more fully face Keiichi, watching him carefully as he leaned back in his chair. "He was the youngest son of one the elders in the village we'd stopped at. The village was pro-US, but there were elements of Al Qai'da inside it as well." The man sighed. "You need to understand, this was all during the US withdrawal from Iraq. We weren't as big a presence there anymore, and a lot of the organizations that were out there causing harm had started moving their attention away from us. But... there were still targets of opportunity, and the village we were stationed next to was also working pretty closely with a village ruled by an Al Qai'da shadow governor. Rumors said it was one of the elder's brothers, and so what we were trying to do was gain some intel on this dude to see if that really was the case or if he just didn't like the West. Happens more than I like to think. About half the time they're just anti-US and want us out of their land, other half it's some dude with a MANPADS taking potshots at our C-130s or C-17s."

"Fida's village was located about fifty miles from our FOB. It was the nearest village to our location, right along Highway One, good ol' Ring Road herself. Bunch a' goat herders. Nothing special or unique about them, they just wanted to be left alone and left to their lives. Of course, when you have sons and daughters misfortunate enough to step on IEDs meant for 'western devils' like yours truly, it kind of made things a little difficult. We helped out where we could, provided basic medical care for the ill and injured, offer a job or two for those few who'd been vetted and cleared as 'not bad-guys'-sorry, this was the Army I was working with, they ain't too bright even on their best days, and on occasion hand out rations and other minor stuff as a show of good relations."

"I met Fida on my team's third visit to the village. Tank was inside with an interpreter speaking to the village elder, and the rest of us sorry fucks were outside in the heat. This was while summer was in full swing, and, well, shit was nasty. We were tasked to set up a perimeter around the village and to watch for any signs of suspicious activity, because you never know which way the breeze is gonna blow, and it was... Okay, it was fucking hot."

"Fida was tasked with his older brother to provide us drinks. We were guests, and it was considered bad hospitality not to provide tea to those guests while we were sitting out in the hot-ass one hundred and fifteen degree weather. You know how hot that is?" Keiichi asked.

"How hot?" Belldandy asked, humoring him.

"Hot enough to cook an egg," Keiichi replied. "I watched a marine do that once. No clue how the fucknugget got an egg of all things, but he said it had always been something he'd wanted to do, and sure as shit, he broke it open in the midday sun and all us bored motherfuckers sat around and literally watched it cook on the fucking tarmac." He paused. "Sanchez bet him fifty bucks he wouldn't eat it."

"No." Belldandy breathed, looking alarmed and disgusted at once.

"Yes." Keiichi nodded his head with a smirk. "He went home fifty dollars richer and then to the medic a couple hours later, from what I heard."

"That's..." Belldandy shook her head. "I have no words."

The SEAL shrugged. "I've seen worse," he said. "One time we found an MRE that expired in 1999," he said. "I bet Morrison, one of my retired bros who back then was still in our unit, ten dollars he couldn't eat the entire entrée." He laughed at that. "I honest-to-god thought he was going to die afterwards. Had the worst gas in the fucking world for three days straight after that. Bastard was so mad at me he didn't speak to me for a fucking week." Keiichi shook his head ruefully. "That was right before we met Urd, too, when I think about it..."

"Anyways, before I get too off topic... back to Fida," Keiichi continued. "He was the one who came out to serve us drinks back then. Bold little guy, too. You could tell he was used to soldiers because he didn't bolt or anything." The man snorted. "In fact, his first words to me were 'hello asshole', can you believe that? He didn't know what it meant. Someone, probably the same person who gave him his lucky baseball card, had taught him how to say it."

"He was a good kid. Curious. Eager to learn. One time while I was out there he snuck out of the house with an old picture book that looked like it was at least twenty years old. It was hard to tell. But he pulled it out and brought it right to me and would point to an animal, say its name in Farsi, and then have me say it in English. Kid was trying to teach himself English, can you believe that? Only five years old, all the villagers telling him not to come near us, and this little dude spends all day baking in the sun with me learning English. I even taught him some Japanese too, and holy shit Belldandy, the way his eyes lit up... the pure happiness on his face, just to learn, Bell. Turned out our interpreter was the father of one of Fida's friends, and Fida had wanted to grow up and act as a translator. He saw the kind of money our interpreter was making compared to some of the other people in his village. I'm telling you, Bell, Fida was sharp. Sharp as a razor. God I loved that kid..."

He trailed off, and a frown worked its way across his lips. "Mac instructed us to minimize our interactions with the villagers. Getting close to anyone in our line of work is dangerous. It paints a target on not just their heads, but our heads as well. The locals knew it too, and so the adults anyway never interacted with us unless they had to. The kids they mostly kept away as well, but Fida didn't care. He never cared. He wanted to learn from the strange Westerners who always came to his village, and he'd do whatever he could to get that. He was... he was a hard kid not to love, Bell. When you're surrounded by nothing but xenophobic people and this one little boy pops out of nowhere just to hang out and listen and learn, it's..." He shook his head, and his eyes were sad. "I wish he wasn't, looking back at it all. I wish he'd been just as xenophobic as everyone else and so stayed away from us. Maybe then he wouldn't have..."

The man closed his eyes and took a long, deep breath. He then continued. "At some point, Fida vanished. I later learned his parents had sent him to visit his uncle for a while. That same uncle we suspected was in with Al Qai'da." He heaved a sigh and rubbed his temples. "I know why they sent him. They were afraid for Fida's well-being with his interest in us, and so they wanted to send him away where he couldn't sneak out and speak with us." He gritted his teeth, and what he spoke next sounded almost like a mantra to Belldandy; a phrase spoken over and over again in the hopes of evading anger and not directing focus and blame at those responsible for sending Fida away. "I know this," he began, "I understand this. And I know that I'm not responsible for what happened."

"But..." His voice dropped into a whisper. "Sometimes it's hard to tell yourself that."

"I never saw Fida in that village again. I found a burnt corner of his baseball card though, so I know someone had gone about destroying anything connected to the US. It should have been a warning to me. The wind can change at any time, after all, and sometimes even our best efforts just aren't enough at times."

He fell silent for a long moment, his gaze dark and distant in the lone light from the kitchen. A part of Belldandy wanted to speak, to urge him to continue his tale, yet found herself rendered mute instead. It seemed almost as though there was a pressure in the room, one that pushed down on her with a weight that silenced her voice, and it took her a moment to realize that Keiichi was steeling himself to continue.

His silence lasted a good five minutes, and when the man spoke once more there was a raw pitch in his voice. "Our FOB was attacked at nine in the morning. Mac directed us to provide cover fire for the ECPs at the gate, and it was already a clusterfuck by the time we arrived." The man leaned forward, scratching at the wooden grain of the kitchen table with a fingernail. He appeared restless now, uneasy, almost anxious. "Firefights are strange. Some things you remember crystal-clear, from the face of a screaming woman straight down to the nametag of a soldier flipping someone off. Other things are just... absent. Gone. Missing. I remember being at the ECP, but not how I got there. I remember Jackson and Mac but not running into them. I remember..." He paused and took a deep breath.

"I remember seeing Fida. He looked scared and dirty, and I remember how red his eyes were from how much he'd been crying. He was still crying, in fact. Still crying and wearing the same red t-shirt from when I'd last seen him. I don't know, I think it might have been the shirt that gave him away... you know how sometimes you just get that hair-raise on the back of your neck? When you feel like something's wrong but don't know what? That was Fida that day. That was Fida's shirt. And I remember thinking to myself, crystal-clear, 'He's not supposed to be here', because none of the village locals brought their children to the FOB."

"He was scared, but not as scared as all the other civilians that day. I think that was another clue to me back then. He'd flinch at the gunfire and the explosions, but... something. It wasn't ignorance, Bell. I know that for a fact. His village had all sorts of experience with IEDs and gunfire, and everyone straight down to kids younger than Fida knew to run the opposite direction of gunfire. But there were times he'd just... stand there. Like he was confused. Like he was searching for someone."

"I remember our eyes meeting, and him running towards me, and... my hackles rose, Bell. Over a five year old little boy. My line of thought was 'don't run to me, don't run to me, don't run to me, Fida, because something's off with you, and I don't want to fire on you.' But he did. He ran right towards me, with me hiding behind a concrete bunker right next to the ECP." His jaw worked for a long moment as he fell silent once more. Without thought, Belldandy reached over and grabbed his hand, squeezing it gently. He squeezed it back, and the grip was tight; the pained grasp of a man burdened by the shadows of his past.

"I pulled the trigger, and he just... exploded."

Belldandy gasped and covered her mouth in shock with her free hand. The breath Keiichi sucked in was harsh and desperate. "It destroyed me, Bell. They'd- his 'uncle'…" he spat the word out as if it were a wad of phlegm, "had just wrapped him up in five pounds of explosives and—poof. Just like that, he was gone"

He swallowed and cleared his throat, and with a final hard squeeze his grip on Belldandy's hand lightened. She didn't let go, though. "I don't know how I held it together for the rest of the deployment. The nightmares started immediately after that, but I didn't tell anyone. I thought they'd go away, and, well, at the time there were more important issues to address. It wasn't until I came home that things started to get real bad."

"Deb was a trooper, poor woman." Keiichi began stroking Belldandy's hand with one finger absentmindedly. "I sent her through hell, and she stuck with me for as long as she could until it became unsafe for her- until I became unsafe for her. She tried everything she could think of to help, and me, being the thick-headed idiot I was, never recognized her efforts until she was already gone. I won't bore you with the details—you don't need to hear stories about my ex-wife—but she did what she could."

"I started to get anxious around the house. I was tense. As though I was still in Iraq and waiting for another attack. Things that never bothered me before began to annoy me. Little things that any normal, sane person wouldn't have even noticed. And from there it just started mounting. I'd get angry without any warning. I'd explode on people who'd done nothing wrong. It got me in trouble at work a couple of times, and which led to more anger with the wonderful side dish of depression to go with it." He looked at Belldandy for a long moment. "I fell into a hole. And it was an easy hole to fall into. One with slick walls whose depths were so great you couldn't see the light above your head. I began to drink. The hole got deeper. I became violent. The hole got deeper. I hurt Deb and she left me, and an investigation was called on me as I was removed from duty. That hole got deeper still until I gave up trying to find a way out of it. All this in the span of mere months, Bell. Just a dwindling spiral of depression and anger and sadness. It became too much, and, well, I tried to take my own life."

The man shook his head sadly. "I don't know how that contract thing of yours works, Bell," he said. "I mean, you said that somehow, after all these years I was still deemed worthy of a wish... let me tell you, had you seen me back then, you'd have turned tail and run. Maybe it was placed on hold. I dunno. What I do know was that I was a wreck. I was not a person worthy of a wish."

"McGuinness saved my life," Keiichi said. "He stormed into my house like the goddamned tank that's his callsign. He brought me back from the brink of death and got me to a hospital. Had to get my stomach pumped, and that was a rude awakening, let me tell ya. But it left me alive, and Mac didn't leave my side the entire time. It was a wakeup call for me. I was placed on suicide watch, after that. Threw out the alcohol and anything in my medicine cabinet and kept my guns at Mac's house. I surrendered them willingly. I started taking regular trips to mental health and attended an AA class. I was taken off the active rosters and placed in a sort of unofficial special duty working with some survival dudes in the Air Force. It helped a lot. Mac picked me up and put me back on my feet, and then provided me all these different avenues to help me recover, to help me move on from what I went through."

"It wasn't easy." Keiichi continued. "There were times where I was still frustrated and still angry at myself for allowing me to fall so low. It took me hitting rock bottom to start seeking a way out, and, well, if I'm honest with myself, I'd say I'm still on that road to recovery, Bell. It took me over three years to get to the point where I could just talk about it with someone else without breaking down. It's why my fridge is stocked with root beer instead of beer, because I find it's the nastiest shit in the world and it kills any craving I get when I'm in a bad mood and craving a drink. But it took time, Bell. Time and patience, so much patience... patience with the people around me who were trying to help and moreover patience with myself because of how slow my progress was."

The man looked over and met Belldandy's eyes. "I gotta request for you, as someone's who's also gone through a rough patch in their life."

"What is it?" Belldandy asked.

"Will you be patient with us?" he asked. "Me and Urd and the others? I know it's hard. I know it's frustrating even at the best of times, but will you try? Because I know that it's hard but... it only gets better from here, Bell. I promise it does, as a man and a mortal."

Belldandy stared at him, taken aback by his strange request. Somehow, through methods that eluded her, this man had read her like an open book. Did he know her frustrations? Was she so easy to read in regards to her sister and Lind? Or was it merely his own experience that provided such insight into her current perspective? "I... yes," she said. "I-I can try."

"Thank you." Keiichi smiled at her, and it was that same kind and warm smile that she'd first fallen in love with. It made her feel warm on the inside. Warm and fuzzy in ways she couldn't quite explain and didn't care to try, and a smile, small though it was, wormed its way onto Belldandy's face as well.

"I got another request for you, then," Keiichi said. "This is the last one, I promise.

"And this one is?"

"Be patient with yourself, Bell," the man advised. "Healing takes time, and it will undeniably be the most aggravating part of the entire process. It's all about baby steps. Baby steps and small victories. It's not about having no more nightmares ever. It's about the length of time between nightmares. It's not about never drinking again so much as it is no longer immediately reaching for a beer at the first sign of things going wrong. And so maybe it isn't so much about feathers on a wing so much as it is about an angel's health and well-being." He shrugged. "Of course, I wouldn't know anything about that, but... look for the progress. Focus on the progress."

Belldandy stared at the mortal in silence, then tore her eyes away from his. For a long moment she stared down at the can of root beer before, without a word, pushing her chair back and rising to her feet. She grabbed the soda can and moved to the kitchen sink, dumping what was left and disposing of the can. She returned to the table, where Keiichi watched her in silence. The goddess took a deep breath. "Thank you," she said. "For sharing your story with me. It has... given me some new perspective to work with." She pushed in her chair, and after a moment's hesitation leaned down and kissed Keiichi on the cheek. The Norn straightened. "I will take your words into consideration," she declared. "And I will try to be patient... with both those around me and with myself."

Keiichi looked up at her and smiled. "That's all I ask," he said, and then he too rose to his feet. "Want a hug?"

It was a strange request. Silly almost, after the kiss she'd given him, but a welcome request nonetheless. "Yes," she decided. "I think I would like that very much."

Keiichi held his arms out, and as Belldandy stepped into his embrace, he wrapped his arms around her waist. The goddess sighed, and in that moment the stress and irritation that had been mounting through the day-Holy Bell's wings at the forefront-seemed to melt into distant worries and passable troubles. Here, in Keiichi's arms, it seemed as though nothing could harm her, nothing could hurt her, and that so long as he was there, she could face anything the world threw at her. It gave her confidence. It gave her hope.

They stayed in each other's arms for a small eternity that might have spanned five minutes, might have spanned until the end of time, and Keiichi did not release her until Belldandy pulled away first. "Ready to go back to bed?" he asked.

And Belldandy smiled. The same warm and kind glowing smile that he had first fallen in love with in a picture once in another life. "Yes," Belldandy agreed, "Let's go back to sleep." She hesitated, and then in a burst of spontaneity kissed him on the lips; a light peck that spoke more on her feelings than anything else. "I love you Keiichi."

The man's eyes widened in surprise, and perhaps even a small bit of alarm before the SEAL's expression softened back into a smile. "I love you too, Belldandy."

Together, they left the table and headed back upstairs. And though they did not share a room that night, it was of little consequence, for a road had been crossed in that evening conversation. A wall had collapsed, a bridge had been built, and when Belldandy went to sleep that night it was to dreams of orb weaving spiders with gold and black bodies and Keiichi at her side. A good dream, with good memories, and, perhaps, even a sign of a new beginning.

XXX

Saturday had come at last, and with it, two silent figures moved to greet the dawn in a field of green. Belldandy inhaled, smelling sweet fresh grass and the gentle fragrance of wildflowers. Her head felt clear. She was awake. And she felt calm. For the first time in weeks the morning she spent with Urd was one of peace, absent of the usual bickering that had become so commonplace between the two sisters upon awakening. There was no pounding, there were no nightmares, and there was no constriction in her chest that came with the usual anticipation of summoning Holy Bell.

They came to a stop in the field, and Urd turned east towards the rising sun, where her face was illuminated by the emerging light. The goddess took a deep breath and sighed before looking over to Belldandy. "You ready?"

"Yes," Belldandy nodded, and together the duo summoned their angels.

World of Elegance emerged in a burst of black and white feathers, a calm smile on her face as she stretched her wings out behind her.

Holy Bell appeared as well, and a moment later Lind's sweater materialized on her form; as it was a foreign object not made of her angel's essence, it could not follow Holy Bell into her soul, and so Belldandy held onto it until Holy Bell could manifest and slip it onto her person. They'd made it out a bit later that morning, and so World of Elegance's usual pre-morning inspection was placed on hold until after the morning song. Belldandy didn't mind. Holy Bell looked happy and energetic in the early dawn light, and there was a gentle ambience to her that Belldandy could not recall seeing a few days earlier. The goddess decided it was a good thing. A sign of strength, of recovery, of an angel stronger than the one of yesterday, who stood proud and quiet at World of Elegance's side despite her deformity.

For the first time in a long decade, something akin to pride awakened in Belldandy's breast at the sight, and the goddess smiled. Baby steps. She'd been so focused on Holy Bell's wings she'd missed the true steps to recovery her angel had undertaken, and by Yggdrasil what a long way she'd come in such a short frame of time.

They sang long and loud and proud; a song filled with hope and energy and renewal, and in the long grass and in the forest canopy animals came to watch: Songbirds and raptors, deer and coyote, raccoon and lynx. Deep in the shadows a large and ancient form that might have been reptilian in nature raised its head to listen, and towards the edge of the field a cougar came to lie in the grass and toy with a foxtail. A copperhead and a cottonmouth of considerable size curled up away from each other on opposite ends of the clearing- neither could be bothered by the other- and opossum curled up in their den and were lulled to sleep by the enchanting voices of two goddesses.

The Norns in question, they saw none of it, so absorbed were they in song. Their voices rose to the heavens and dove to the depths of the earth, where those enchanting creatures of higher planes lifted their heads to listen and those simpler beasts wailed a tune of their own, and it was good, it was right, it was sound, and for the length of that song, all seemed right with the world.

All but the puma had departed by the time their song was finished, and even that great beast did little but move into the bushes, out of sight and out of mind and never seen by the Norns who smiled and laughed and embraced in a moment of camaraderie. Then even the cougar departed, and in its wake was the love and peace of a pair of sisters who'd overcome all manner of strife together.

And at last, when the time came for potions and exercises and examination, indeed, the Norns involved were greeted with a treat like none other, for it was as World of Elegance was testing the muscle of Holy Bell's wings, naked only for the angel's examination, that World of Elegance paused and looked at Urd. Urd froze in turn, and her eyes widened before releasing a whoop of such might it sent birds into flight. "You did it!" She launched herself at Belldandy with little warning, knocking her little sister to the ground and leaving the Norn struggling beneath her. "You did it Bell! Her wings!" The goddess laughed in gleeful delight, the rolled to her feet and hauled Belldandy up as well. "Come on, you need to feel!"

She dragged Belldandy to her angel, who held an exuberance to her contained only by a small blanket of self-control, and she stretched her wings out as far as possible for Belldandy's examination. The Norn ran her hands up and down the length of her angel's wings, not daring to hope, and at the wing tips found something hard and spiny poking her from the papillae. Quills. The first hint of developing feathers.

The goddess ran her fingers lengthwise across the wing, going with the flow of the quills and feeling small pinpricks at her fingertips. Holy Bell twisted to look at her, beaming in joy, and as the awe began to fade a wave of giddiness overcame Belldandy. She screamed, and it was a sound of pure, unadulterated emotion; a victorious crow no words could ever decipher, for such pure emotion could not be described-it could only be felt. She engulfed Holy Bell in hug of massive strength, and Holy Bell, her angel, fought it not in the slightest but instead leaned into it, her mouth parted in the same sweet elation that so engulfed Belldandy.

Urd moved to stand beside her angel to watch them, smiling for their own happiness.

It was a sign of change.

XXX

Lind rocked on the heels of her boots, trying to expel some of the nervous anticipation that filled her chest and wondering why she'd agreed to a date with Jackson. It had been a spur of the moment decision when she'd spoken to him over the phone: he had asked and she'd said yes, and when they'd hung up she'd kicked herself for it, but hadn't called back to cancel. Her own pride wouldn't let her. And... well, maybe it was time she took it upon herself to go out and... live. She'd done nothing but train and fight and drill since she had awakened a lifetime ago, and since then, maybe all she'd known how to do was train and fight and drill. Maybe it was time to stop. Maybe it was time to step back and realize that she was no longer in Hell, that she wasn't going back to Hell, and that Cabatu and his angel eaters were all dust in the wind.

She couldn't let his actions define her anymore.

The sun was starting to set, and Lind watched it with some relief. Virginia was hot, and humid to boot, and so maybe some of the Norns' warnings over her leather jacket had been valid. Or, and this Lind considered the more likely candidate, perhaps most of the heat she felt was originating from her own nerves. The leather jacket was open, the sleeves rolled up to expel the excess heat, but the Valkyrie stubbornly refused to take it off. The inner shearling was soft against her skin, and she took a small bit of comfort from the weight of the jacket.

"Lind!"

The Valkyrie jerked towards the voice, which she took a moment to recognize as Brian's. Her heart kicked into overdrive at the sight of him, dressed casually in a violet dress shirt and a pair of blue jeans, and despite herself a small smile pulled her lips back. The man trotted over to her, and Lind grabbed her bag before trotting over to meet him near his truck. The man wore a broad, toothy smile on his face that was hard not to emulate, and Lind felt her own smile grow in size as well. She was excited. Excited. Over a date! By the Yakone, when was the last time she'd gotten excited over anything so innocent?

"Hello Brian," she greeted, and was startled when the large man met her with a hug, one that she returned with only a marginal amount of hesitation after some of her surprise faded.

"Hey," Brian said. "Long time no see! Glad you were able to make it. Still rocking the blue hair, I see?"

"It's not blue, it's translucent," Lind confessed, and felt a small flush glide across her cheeks. "It only looks blue due to how the light reflects off it. It's a mutagen I inherited from my father's side of the family."

"No kidding?" Brian looked down at her in surprise, and Lind nodded, suddenly altogether self-conscious about her image. Then the man smiled. "That's fucking awesome," he said, and Lind felt her cheeks grow further hot. "It complements you real well, you know that?"

"I didn't," Lind confessed, and Brian laughed.

"Come on, we can chat some more in the truck." The SEAL said. "You ready to go?"

And despite her own embarrassment, Lind's smile did not fade in the slightest. "Yes," she said, "Let's go."

It was time for a fresh start.


A/N: I found the quote at the beginning of this one chapter arc very fitting. It also reminded me of a PM I received from a reader that found Bell's struggles in CH38 very relatable. Hopefully they remember the quote the next time their own bad memories arise. Stay strong, my friend.


Comments of a Madwoman: This concludes the interlude. A bit of world building and character development, and off we go into the next part of our story, the official Part 2 of Scarred Survivors.