Cid watched Firion go through his morning drills with the other recruits by taking them through stances, timing, and exercises. Over the months they spent here, they went from the most basic of forms to some truly impressive routines formed of various styles they brought in from their different worlds, not one of which Cid recognized. Ingus had come and integrated some of his own culture into their slew of martial art, but it was lost to the slurry of kicks and swings and blows.

Baralai soon joined, eyes red from lack of sleep and probably a drink too many for the morning. Cid could swear the boy didn't enjoy rest or something.

"I'm not sure where to go from here," Baralai said. The stiffness of his posture had Cid believing the kid found it embarrassing to admit. "Our morale is low, our chance of sighting Bhunivelze's plan lost, and our numbers fluctuate by the day."

"It's just a rough patch. You formed this guild for a reason, didn't you?"

"I didn't form it. The twins and Arc did, and now even Leonora is gone."

"But there's a bunch that stayed. And what's it matter who came for who, hm?"

"It matters the purpose they carry here, and if I can't influence it, then I cannot lead it. And if I cannot lead, then what is my own purpose for staying?"

"Oh, you have influence, no mistake. The question is the type."

"I don't have time for word games, Cid. Or… I don't have the energy. Firion took the shards."

"I'm truly sorry to hear that. For both of you."

"The shards in and of themselves don't hurt. I doubt Firion suffers under the weight of heightened constitution."

"Not now, he doesn't. But how sad it must be to return to the life of a mortal after."

"Firion could use the support. Losing both his friends in one night has left him less stable than before."

Cid considered that and watched Firion in his training. "Has it?"

"His words have taken a sharper turn and his metaphors more violent. He's upset."

"I haven't noticed."

"It's a subtle difference. He must have learned to repress early."

"And what caused that, I wonder?"

"I have some ideas."

"But you didn't come here to postulate on one person, I presume. Unless you plan to speak with him next?"

"He doesn't hold any information on Bhunivelze. I should glean from Lenna what information I can. I didn't think Bhunivelze would take Crystal heroes, and yet… I suppose they're 'Warriors of Light,' but I thought it was a different light. I need to get ahead of him."

"You'll be gentle, I hope."

"I don't hurt people."

"Not physically, perhaps, but I know Prompto came out much shaken after your conversation with him, and it was shortly after that he went and rejoined with Bhunivelze rather than stick with us. The coincidence has me perturbed."

"Prompto was already distracted when I spoke with him. I tried to bring him back, but I was too squeamish. I won't lose another."

"I hope not." Cid heaved a sigh and watched Vaan take on Setzer. "I won't take it too kindly if you break any one of these children. Including yourself, mind. When was the last time you slept?"

"It doesn't matter."

"I hope you take some time to yourself regardless. I still entertain the thought of returning home to my wife, you know. And I can't leave this place in the hands of a self-abusing, sorry man."

Baralai turned away. Cid let him go and moved his attention back to the kids sparring before him. Sometimes it felt like this was all they did, throwing hands and swords until someone passed out from exhaustion.

On the sidelines, Refia watched those training with intent eyes, letter paper idle in her lap. Cid remembered her mentioning a summon to Ingus, but he could swear she sent that already. Unless she got distracted, perhaps. He followed her gaze to Firion, who worked with Yuj on his form.

Cid smiled to himself. Honestly, he couldn't see the two ending up together, but how young she was to steal looks like that.

Curiosity got the better of him and he moved to join Refia, who wouldn't take her eyes off the practice. Sometimes her gaze wandered to the others scattered about the yard, but they always found their way back to Firion.

"You look preoccupied," Cid said.

Refia started at his words and she hastily smoothed her dress before clearing her throat and saying, "Do I?"

"I don't think you've written a single word in the last five minutes."

"Oh." Refia brushed at the paper and frowned. "I'm not sure how to phrase it."

"To Ingus?"

"Yes."

"What gives you pause?"

"Asking for help."

Cid raised an eyebrow and lowered himself to sit beside her. "Why should that bother you?"

"I don't think he'll approve. Ingus is a stickler for efficiency and I swore we had things under control when he left. Now he'll think I'm going back on my word."

"You know, I've never known that boy to hold others to his own unfair standards."

"Then you haven't traveled with him."

"Or perhaps I've seen the unnecessary weight on his shoulders. Trust me when I say that any impatience he might show toward you is only directed at himself."

"And I'm supposed to believe that when he gets short?"

"Believe it, yes. Take it sitting down, no. If he gets huffy, then just tell him like it is and leave it be. He can't fault you for speaking the truth."

Refia bit her lip and pushed hair out of her eyes. The wind blew cold today but brought with it the warming smell of blooming things and Odin strike him if Refia didn't make him think of toughened flowers grown to last through harsh winters. "I still don't know what to say."

"Then start with the beginning."

"You mean, 'Hey, Ingus, sorry to bother you, but our place just got blown up by that thing we were trying to stop and we're down half our men. Please assist.'"

"You're getting up and sarcastic, aren't you?"

"Yes."

"Will he understand?"

"Probably."

"Then do that. Put the words down, my girl, for I fear we don't have much time for what else."

"I wish you weren't so honest like that."

"And has my dishonesty gotten us anywhere in the past?"

"I wouldn't know."

Cid looked to the others. Setzer came to the forefront, armed with a refined short sword, and challenged Firion. "And yet I've never known you to struggle putting a letter together. What's really bothering you? Is it your handwriting again?"

"… No." Refia went still, charcoal frozen in her fingers. "Promise you won't tell anyone?"

"No, but tell me anyway."

She hesitated a long moment still before whispering, "I don't want Ingus to come."

"And why is that?"

"I— I don't want to be here, much less want my friends here. We've been at it for months with no end in sight and I'm tired. I can't keep on like this."

"Then why not leave?"

"Because I can't."

"Why not?"

"I don't know."

Cid folded his arms. Firion and Setzer called it a tie like they always did and parted to call a break from practice. "Anyone harassing you?"

"… No."

"I ask because if they are, I can take them out of the picture for you."

"So can I."

"Yes, but it would give me great pleasure to do it."

"It's not that." Refia glanced toward the Shack. "I guess I'm just tired. And I want to go home."

"But you won't."

"No."

"Color me confused."

Refia started writing, lips pursed. "This isn't my job. I'm not supposed to lead people or hold groups together. I'm a blacksmith, not a general."

"Doesn't appear to me like anyone here is."

"And that's the problem, isn't it? No one else knows how to do it, so I've gotta step in and do all the work. Baralai only goes so far without Hilda and now I need twice the time I used to do half the day's effort."

Cid put a hand on her shoulder and she stiffened before relaxing into him. "I'll cover your trail if you wanna run. Hell, if you wanna go to Mrs. Cid, I'll bet she's dying to make you up some hot soup."

She smiled at that. "We should all pay her a visit when this is said and done. But I want Arc there. …And Ingus may not even realize that he's missing."

"I thought your crystals tell you that sort of stuff?"

"Arc got so distant by the time that he left that it took me a day to notice the difference in our communication."

"And Luneth hasn't come barging through our door? That's a surprise."

"Luneth went quiet, too." Refia paused her writing. "I've barely heard two words together."

"… Oh, shit."

"What if he does something stupid again? Like going to Queens?"

"Let's send for him."

"No point in bringing him here when he'll just try to run after Arc. Maybe his fae side would change things."

"Luneth can't chase Arc, can he? Given he's bound to the planet and all."

"He'll find a way and destroy his connection to the crystals. Then we'll lose him for good even if it brought Arc back."

"And yet you won't stop him?"

"I'm busy! I'm overwhelmed! And I can't lose any of these new people, either! If I never see Vaan again, or Faris…"

"That won't happen."

"But what if Arc's lost? What I never see him again?" Refia bit her lip and shuddered. Her face turned red. "Cid, what if Arc's gone? For good?"

Cid pulled her into a hug and Refia cried into his chest. He couldn't bring himself to lie and say that Arc would come back, or that they'd find him for sure, or that Ingus would produce a brilliant idea to fix it.

Because Cid meant it when he said dishonesty did them no favors.


Baralai felt a pang in his chest at Cid comforting Refia. Cid, who most here came to see as a father figure. Cid, who barely took notice of the recent upset in their ranks, and who provided kind words to all. Baralai couldn't pretend he didn't admire the man. Couldn't pretend he didn't want that same influence. Couldn't pretend he didn't learn to fear sincerity back home.

And he couldn't pretend he didn't notice the flowers blooming at Refia's extended proximity. Her magic had hidden properties he didn't understand yet and that bothered him.

Setzer and Faris avoided the main party that threw themselves about the field but didn't study or commune with others like Lenna and Refia. Baralai went days without seeing them at times and he wondered what they could possibly get up to, given their similar dispositions for adventure.

Selphie barreled past the Shack like hounds nipped her heels. She would leave them for Irvine.

After Desch disappeared with the Amicitia children, Baralai couldn't be surprised at more leaving. Felt like every day they lost someone else and it wouldn't be long before they were down to him and… no one.

Baralai called for Lenna. She emerged from the shack, expression tight with forced patience. "Yes?"

"We need to talk." Baralai gestured. "Walk with me to the river?"

Lenna's expression softened. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing. I just want to talk."

"But you said—"

"Let's not split words this late." Baralai started walking and she followed. "The guild shrinks by the day and most find themselves too weary come nighttime to consider the precision of their words."

"Not you, though."

"Not usually. But I'm tired."

Lenna paused by the riverbank and regarded him with an intent look. She showed a similar hostility as Hilda, Maria, and Firion, but that made her trustworthy. "You look worse," she said.

"I gave my shards to Vaan and Penelo for safekeeping."

"Before sending them away."

"Yes."

"Why don't you want them here?"

"Because I fear what will happen." Baralai stepped toward the murmuring stream and watched it rush. "You and I know Bhunivelze and you know that we stand barely a chance."

"I wouldn't say that."

"Then what would you say?" Baralai looked at her and let the fatigue catch up to him. Let her see the weakness he chose to let her see. "Where does your hope lay?"

"In my friends."

"Faris?"

"And Bartz and Krile. And in the people I left behind on the Third World, R. On Gaia V. It would be rather arrogant of us to assume ourselves the only power in the universe capable of bringing down the tyrant, would it not?"

He faked a small smile and bowed his head. "Your wisdom exceeds my own."

"You lie as smoothly as anyone of your stature could. I doubt I'm the wiser one here."

"Cunning isn't wisdom."

"Maybe not by definition. But I consider it one form, hard enough to master as any other. I wish to know one of the games you play, Baralai, because I picked up enough from the link to know that you have many."

He paused without looking up. "You should also know that I don't like to play games. They've caused me too much pain in the past."

"And I see that you're genuine now. But I also know that you're exceptional at hiding your true goals. I wish for honesty, if you remember how to use that."

"Do you?"

"Of course."

"And yet you don't trust a single person once possessed by Bhunivelze? How could that be if you can trust your own self?"

"I don't."

"And yet you believe yourself capable of honesty?"

Lenna pulled water from the shore and twisted it about her with a gentle grace not unfamiliar to him. It looked elegant and powerful, but it betrayed a nervousness. "I like to think so. But maybe that goes to show that I've learned such a degree of deception that I don't know the truth of myself anymore."

"Would you know if you still worked for Bhunivelze?"

"Of course."

Baralai closed the distance between them and Lenna's water magic sprinkled him. She tensed at his approach. "Are you absolutely sure?" he asked.

"… No."

"And yet you consider yourself safe?"

"I don't."

"But you want to."

"Of course, I want to." Lenna threw the water back to the river. "But you're right. I can't trust myself. Nor can you trust me. Nor can anyone else trust you."

"But I'm honest with myself, even if I don't show that same honesty around everyone else."

"How pathetic are we." Lenna betrayed a broken smile. "Not one of us is qualified to act as leader or spokesmen for these grand adventurers, spread from across the galaxy. Yet we pretend at cohesion all the same."

"We pretend at valor, with which we strive for cohesion. Means to an end, you'll remember."

"I don't believe in achieving ends won with questionable means. If you slaughter a million to save a million and one, what does it matter in the end? You've sacrificed your own virtue and morals for a comparable outcome."

Baralai focused on his breath to keep from reacting. They got nowhere, and likely Lenna meant for that. She acted like one experienced in stalling to evade confrontation. He needed a more direct approach. "I'm not here to discuss philosophy with you."

"Then what?"

"I need to know where your loyalties lie. And I can't afford to waste time analyzing your half-truths so for both our sakes…" He placed a hand to her shoulder. "… Don't fear the light."

Lenna stuttered under his grip and her programming kicked in. "I wish to return to Him," she whispered, voice broken by fear. "I don't want any more of this pain."

"Don't shun the darkness."

"But I also want to fight. More than anything else… I want to kill Him."

Baralai watched the subtle facial motions that hinted at her true thoughts, the mind behind the mask. Watched the regret shine clear in her eyes and the fearful tremble in her lip.

"Very well." He pulled away and gave her space. "You won't sell us for a minor portion, then."

Lenna's lip twitched in disgust when she returned to herself, though her voice bared no hint of malice. "Not in a million years, tempted though I might be. My fathers and mothers wait for me in a grand shrine somewhere and I'll stand tall when I meet them. I won't resort to such petty tactics to get what I need, either."

"I imagine you're right."

"… Oh, you bastard."

Rapid footsteps interrupted them and Baralai looked in time to see Gladio hurl a fist his way that connected with Baralai's jaw and sent him tumbling.

Tumbling.

Baralai hit the river with the force of a machina beast before water filled his mouth and he choked. It burned his throat and lungs and he flailed about before remembering to swim toward the surface. But which way was up?

He opened his eyes and found dark depths everywhere he looked. It didn't matter which way was up.

Baralai shut his eyes and went limp. Body rotated on its own and he floated. The river wasn't that deep, but it rushed against rock and shoals and he couldn't afford to expend all his energy here. Not without shards.

When he finally broke the surface, he gasped down mouthfuls of air and coughed out painful bursts of water. Gladio yelled at him from the shore, but Iris held him back. Desch stood with them, intrigued. Lenna held a spell of mixed water and fire, clearly unsure how to use it.

Baralai recovered himself and dragged himself to shore, which took seconds. The river wasn't that wide, but that made it all the more deceptive in its depth. But then, they had enough rain lately to bring it high. "Please use your words," he said when he made it to dry land. "I've already told Lenna that I don't have the energy to—"

Gladio hit him again and Baralai slammed into the dirt. It got in his mouth and Baralai spit out mud and leaves.

"I'm blaming you for Prompto," Gladio growled. "And don't you forget it."

Baralai got to his feet but kept one hand toward the ground. "You think I chased him to Bhunivelze?"

"That's what I said!" Gladio reached for him again, but Baralai caught his fist and twisted behind him.

"I swear I didn't."

"Your word means jack shit!" Gladio rammed his elbow into Baralai's stomach.

Baralai gagged and stumbled back while Gladio turned to face him head on.

"You know what your problem is, jackass? You don't value your players worth crap! We're all just pawns to you, and it's gonna pull you back sooner or later!"

"What's sparked this?" Baralai rasped past the pain in his lungs and stomach. He looked between Desch and Iris, the latter of which shuffled in place. "Something's happened."

"I finally decided to get at you is what happened!" Gladio took Baralai by the collar and lifted him off the ground. "I'll turn you inside out and feed your fingers to you before I let you screw up another member of my party!"

"Put him down," Lenna said. Baralai struggled to see her. "Infighting will only make things worse."

"And more interesting," Desch said. "But who am I to speak when I can't die?"

"You can't blame everyone else for our own mistakes," Iris said. "Please, Gladio."

"Our mistakes," Gladio hissed. He squeezed tighter and Baralai lost his breath. Sound muffled in his ears and his heart pounded heavy. He didn't hurt so much since they first took his shards.

"Please," he gasped past the constriction in his throat. "I don't know what you want!"

More words he couldn't understand. They fought amongst themselves and he knew he could stop it, but he needed more time. He needed to know the circumstances. The inciting incident, the stressors, he couldn't control the situation without knowing the factors in—!

He hit the ground and dragged a breath between coughing fits. Dry heaves took him over and burned his insides.

"I would just leave you all to it," Gladio said, "but stupid as it is, you're all the best bet we have at finding Prompto again. So, don't push your luck."

He turned and left them, but Iris and Desch stayed behind with Lenna, who took to Baralai's side and started up some white magic.

"It wasn't a good run," Desch said. "Anyways, we dealt with pesky fiends at the gate. Which, there was a corrupted gate, by the way. It let out a bunch of horrifying monsters and I think we should decide how we're going to account for all the bloodthirsty terrors on our doorstep. But Luneth had something in mind for that."

"Luneth's back?" Baralai asked.

Lenna perked up. "Who's Luneth?"

"Friend of ours," Desch said. "But no, we broke up and he said he'd catch up later."

Iris cleared her throat. "Can I speak with Baralai alone for a moment?"

"Knock yourself out," Desch said. "Hey, Lenna, wanna go get a drink?"

"You mean more treated water?"

"Nah, Saronia's got way more interesting junk than that."

"Like what?"

"How about I show you?"

Baralai pressed a finger to his temples as he waited for those to leave. Desch gave him headaches he needed days to recover from.

"Hey," Iris said slowly, "I'm sorry for Gladio's, erm, attacking you."

"It wasn't your fault."

"No, it wasn't. But he's not gonna apologize so I will. I don't know what your relationship with Prompto was like and I honestly doubt you're blameless for his leaving, but I also know it's irrational to pin all the fault on you. So, I'm sorry for Gladio getting reckless."

He forced himself to relax. "We won't let Prompto suffer forever."

"No, we've established that. But can I trust you not to send him away again?"

"I do not determine Prompto's actions."

"But you can influence them."

"If you want hate me, then please do so. I'm weary of these social games we play and I'd like to rest knowing one way or the other."

Iris hesitated at that and he knew she questioned herself. Though Bevelle taught him to work these cases like muscle memory, it never failed to wear on him.

"I don't blame you," Iris said. "I'm just… cautious."

"Cautious is good. I would wish for nothing else amongst my friends."

Iris opened her mouth and closed it. Then made a disgruntled noise and left.

Baralai watched her go. The sun disappeared beyond the horizon and only the dark fields remained to see outside the murmuring river. He couldn't imagine going back just to work around everyone turning in to sleep for the night. But it would get colder here and he had no means to keep warm. But he also faced worse nights in Bevelle.

He almost forgot the paranoia he knew in Spira. He came to trust this group too closely.

Baralai looked around him before settling on one tree that held its branches high enough to keep him out of the reach of most predators out here, including Gladio.

Until he used a sword to chop the thing to its roots, of course. But Baralai would wake long before that happened.

He pulled out his staff and whipped it out to extend the edges—he still owed Vaan for making it such a nifty little device.

He barely started climbing before another voice broke his concentration. "Beg your pardon," said Firion, who snuck up on him from behind. "I wondered if you had a moment?"

Baralai paused climbing and settled on his current branch before turning about to face him. "Yes?"

"If you're busy—"

"I'm always busy."

Firion opened his mouth and closed it again. Then said, "I can always come back—"

"And I'll still be busy. Speak candidly, if you please."

Firion gave the tree an odd look before taking a hold of the bottom branch and making his way to a branch adjacent to Baralai's. "I wanted to apologize for my behavior before. For Hilda and Maria as well."

"I think their actions would speak louder than your words."

"Nevertheless, if you'd let me finish…"

Baralai gave a reluctant nod and settled against the trunk. "Please continue."

"We behaved poorly. We let our differences get the better of us and it jeopardized the integrity of the Guild. We should have understood that and acted more maturely. I would like to mend bridges so I can rest easy knowing there's nothing unsaid between us. I might not approve of everything you do, but I support you as our designated leader."

Firion recited his words like a memorized poem. Baralai blinked heavy eyes against the breeze. "When did that become official? My being leader, I mean."

"Never. I don't have to tell you that we don't operate on formalities here."

"I suppose not. But if you're being honest, then I'll admit that I should take notice of Cid's methods. He's more of a leader than I could ever be."

"He's a father to his men. That's different."

"But not mutually exclusive." Baralai leaned despite his protesting limbs and looked Firion in the eye. "I owe it to all of you to be more of a friend than I've been. If you'll help me stay on the right track, that is."

"… I will."

"Thank you."

Firion left him, but Baralai took a long time to sleep after that. His training from Bevelle kicked in better than he worried it might, but it wasn't his balance that bothered him.

It was how he'd sleep knowing what he did to Lenna only moments before Firion gave his pledge.