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Wolf
A thin wisp of silvery mist spurted half-heartedly from the tip of Wolf's wand before dissipating completely. He sighed and turned back to his textbook, pretending to look over the spell they were practicing. Really, he was just trying to look busy. There was no way he was going to produce even an incorporeal Patronus, not that he'd want to produce a corporeal one. He knew exactly what it would look like, and what it would mean. Besides, it's not like his lack of progress was noticeable. Occasionally, a student would produce a solid (if shapeless) Patronus, but mostly their attempts ended with pathetic faint white smoke.
"Do not be discouraged." Professor Clay called after yet another student screamed in frustration. "This is a very difficult charm, and it's perfectly normal for you not to get it on the first try."
"Oh yeah, that totally makes me feel better." Scarlet snarled under her breath.
Wolf's mouth twitched into an involuntary smile as he watched her screw up her face in concentration and furiously mutter the incantation. He wondered what Scarlet's Patronus would be. Probably a wildcat or a dragon, since she was so fierce. And strong. And brave. And… Wolf really had to stop thinking about her like that.
He scowled down at his book. For Merlin's sake Ze'ev, you're a werewolf! You can't think about her, or anyone, that way! It's too dangerous for them! Stop it!
But his treacherous heart said differently.
Sighing, he picked up his wand and concentrated on the memory of his village. He missed it. True, there were weekly monster attacks and the people were always hungry, but it was the only home he'd ever known. His mother and father were there, the boys he used to play with were there, the aurors who taught him about the dark creatures they so often encountered were there. It might not have been the best place to live, but it was home.
He waved his wand and whispered, "Expecto patronum."
No reaction. He supposed the memory was tinged with too much terror and sadness to do anything.
Wolf rested his wand on the desk and leaned back in his chair. That was it. He'd used every happy memory he could think of and they had done nothing. Not that he'd expected them to. They were all pretty weak anyway. His life in the village had been pretty miserable, and his life after he hadn't even been human. Not exactly the best material for a spell that's made of happiness. And at the rate things were going, he doubted he'd have any new material soon. Not after that night, when Cinder made that promise to the centaurs.
He hadn't planned on sneaking around the woods. He just wanted to curl up at the base of a tree and go to sleep. But the sight of his classmates just wandering through the trees for no apparent reason… it was too strange not to investigate.
When the centaurs arrived and the group started talking to them, Wolf just forgot to stay hidden. It just didn't make the slightest bit of sense to him. Other than the other wolves scampering around the forest, centaurs were probably the most dangerous thing that lived in the shadows of its trees, and from what Wolf had seen, they weren't the most diplomatic species. And him just standing right there hadn't helped their moods.
As always, each angry shout and yelp of fear at the mere sight of his lupine form seemed to hit him in the gut. The tremble in their voices as they talked to each other felt like needles stabbing into his heart. Although, their argument over a spell was pretty funny. It was enough to make him smirk just thinking about it. Wolf's smile only widened when he thought of their reactions when he didn't attack.
He flicked his wand experimentally. "Expecto patronum."
Nothing. Must be too much regret.
If he had never showed his face (his muzzle?), the others might have gotten away without any rash promises. They might not know his secret and be asking him questions, questions he'd get in serious trouble for answering. And he might not be catching himself thinking of ways he could help them further, ways that would definitely result in something like being made to gouge his own eyes out, and that's if he was lucky!
Wolf shook his head, dislodging these dark thoughts. It didn't matter. All he had to do was stop himself before he did anything stupid, and he'll be fine! Just stay in control, and don't lose focu-
"I have had it up to here with this stupid spell!"
The sudden enraged yell made Wolf (and probably the rest of the class) jump.
At his desk, Professor Clay sighed and rubbed his head. "Miss Benoit, please keep a hold of your temper."
"Easy for you to say!" Scarlet retorted, glaring at her wand. "You're not the one trying to cast a freaking impossible spell!"
"I did say this was very difficult. Honestly, I'd be surprised if any of you managed to produce a proper Patronus on your first try. Don't worry Miss Benoit, in a few weeks, you'll have gotten it."
Scarlet huffed, obviously unsatisfied.
Fighting a grin, Wolf whispered to her, "Have you tried imagining Roland with a pumpkin head?"
She nodded. "That was one of my first." She shot him a mischievous grin. "Along with imagining his face swollen with a stinging jinx."
Wolf felt his ears burn, but he couldn't tell if it was from embarrassment at the memory of that Herbology lesson, or from Scarlet's smile. Suddenly, helping her and the others seemed about a million times more tempting.
"Mr Kesley!" Professor Clay called over to him. "Can I talk to you for a second?"
Gratefully, Wolf nodded. He didn't think it was a good idea to talk to Scarlet for much longer.
He stood up from his chair and walked over to Professor Clay's desk. "Is something wrong, sir?"
The teacher regarded him seriously. "Kesley, you're one of my top students. Nearly every beast I've taught so far you've already known how to beat. Every defensive spell you master within the lesson, assuming you even need to learn it in the first place. And yet you seem to be struggling with this particular charm."
Wolf shrugged. "You said yourself, it's one of the hardest spells there is. And it's not like I'm the only one having a hard time of it."
"But you are the only one who seems to have a hard time of thinking of happy memories."
Wolf shuffled his feet awkwardly. He didn't know what to say to that.
Professor Clay opened a drawer in his desk and rummaged through the many sheets of paper inside, finally bringing out a single sheet.
He slid it over to Wolf. "This is your homework from a couple weeks ago, where you had to list all of your happiest memories. You wrote down the least, and none of them weren't a quarter as happy as some of the other students'."
Professor Clay looked at him, and Wolf saw that his eyes were clouded with sympathy. "Ze'ev, I know about your… condition, and I know some of what they put you through. But that doesn't mean you can't be happy."
"With all due respect Professor," Wolf murmured, "being happy is pretty much impossible when you're a monster."
"You're not a monster Ze'ev."
"Yes I am. Have you read Lupine Lawlessness?"
"No, and I'm saddened to hear you have. There are far better accounts you can read for information on your condition. Have you considered Hairy Snout, Human Heart? That's far more reliable."
Wolf frowned, but didn't argue.
Professor Clay sighed. "Listen Ze'ev, you will be presented with many opportunities to break away from this self-imposed punishment for something you can't even control. For your own sake, I urge you to take them."
Wolf nodded despondently.
The bell rang and the students' packed up and headed for the doorway, chatting merrily amongst themselves. For some reason, Thorne walked straight into the wall before finding the exit. Scarlet was among the throng of students that were hurrying to get away from the frustrating lesson, but unlike the others, she turned and grinned brightly at Wolf. "See you later Wolf!"
"Bye." Wolf called back and went to gather his things.
"You see?" Professor Clay said, sounding pleased. "That right there is a prime example that you can be happy every once in a while."
"Maybe." Wolf replied vaguely, glancing at the now empty doorway.
He highly doubted he'd reach any Patronus-levels of happiness in his lifetime, but maybe small things… that was more plausible. Like getting good grades in DADA, finding a good book to read.
Seeing Scarlet smile.
Hearing her laugh.
Making her happy.
Abruptly, Wolf raised his head to look up at the teacher. "You know stuff about the school's wolf project, right?" he blurted.
"Only a little." Professor Clay replied.
"Do you know how they turn us when it isn't a full moon?"
Professor Clay shook his head. "No, sorry. All I know is that it has to do with moonlight collected from the Star Tree."
"The what?"
"The Star Tree. It absorbs sunlight during the day and converts it into little globes of light at night. However, it also collects moonlight, though at a much slower pace, and every full moon instead of creating balls of sunlight, it makes balls of moonlight."
A/N: Hey, remember that weird Star Tree thing in chapter 20? It did have a purpose! Will Wolf reveal this piece of info to the rest of the crew?
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