Rascally Rennies with the Gal Pals – Part One
(Story Summary: Michigan's annual Renaissance Faire is fast approaching and news arrives that it's going to be held within Royal Woods. Naturally, Lincoln and his friends are excited for it; none more so than Haiku. But what sort of surprises does the faire have in store for our favorite friend group?)
As our story opens, we come to a small house on the edge of Royal Woods. In the upper levels of this house, we find what appears to be a princess dancing around her room. She has long blonde hair, which was braided into a ponytail and her skin looked as white as the snow but exquisitely beautiful.
She wore a beautiful sapphire-blue medieval bodice with matching gloves, navy blue shoes with a leather strap over each foot. The "princess" later puts on the final touches to her attire, when she suddenly takes notice of the "viewers" watching her and smiles. "Good morrow to ye, friends" she greets in Olde English, "I bid thee welcome to my humble chambers."
After a brief moment of silence, the young lady realizes that everyone is "staring" at her confusedly; as if unsure of whom she was. "Do you not recognize me" she inquires, "mayhaps this will help ease your confusion." With that said, she reached behind her head and unraveled the braids in her hair.
Once released, her locks cascaded downward to her shoulders and half of it lightly covers up one side of her face. Afterwards, her smile briefly changes into a frown; then, a bat suddenly flies in and rests upon her left shoulder. "Do you recognize me now" the girl asks with a coy grin, "it's me, Hilde...better known as Haiku."
Once this reveal is made and the viewer comes to understand the truth; Haiku, in the blink of an eye, redoes her hair into its original ponytail. "For those wondering, this is how I looked before I went Goth" she informed, "not so much the princess look...but the blonde hair, ponytail and my normal fleshy pale skin tone."
As she continues speaking, Haiku goes over to her still Gothic-looking vanity desk and puts on the last thing for her outfit; a necklace bearing a large faux aquamarine gemstone in the middle. "You guys may be wondering why I'm dressed like something out of a fairy tale, right" the wee Goth inquired, "as I said; before going Goth, I used to be a blonde."
Haiku then went on to explain how two years ago, she used to look like every other girl at her school; "cookie cutter and generic." "What I mean is...every girl in my grade, back then was all about anything and everything that was stylish, trendy and/or cute" she grumbled, "I got sick of it, after a while and with Lucy Loud's help, I was introduced to the Goth lifestyle."
Upon mentioning Lucy's name, Haiku revealed a secret; one that the girl in question only shared with her brother. That is to say, it started out as something just between them; before the events of the trial happened. "You guys may probably think us Goths are all alike; obsessed with death, mean and bitter at the world" she murmured, "but the truth is, we're far from all that."
Haiku then revealed that much like Lucy, there were moments where she felt the need to break out of her comfort zone and try things that would be considered..."non-Goth." "Truth is; as much as I like vampires, poetry and funerals...I'm also really into art and reading fantasy stories" she confessed, "one of my favorites is The Troll Twins of Underbridge Academy." At that moment, Haiku realized that she was getting off-topic and decided to get to the point.
"No doubt, I'll bet you're all wondering why I'm dressed like this" she inquired to the viewer, "well...maybe this will help explain everything." With that said; she brings out her laptop, logs on to a video website, performs a quick search and then, plays a very specific video piece. Not long after that, a set of buisine (a medieval style trumpet) appears on the screen and plays a triumphant fanfare.
After that; what looks like a court jester wearing a checkered suit, a black and white Fool's hat with jingle bells, white face paint with red lips done in a clown-like grin and a pair of curly-toed shoes (one black and one white) appears on the screen. He performs a quick backflip to show off his acrobatic skills and then, dips a flaming torch into his mouth before belching out the fire like a dragon. After taking a moment to clear his throat, he faces the screen and bows to the viewers at home.
"Hear ye, hear ye" he cried loudly with joy in his voice, "the annual Michigan Renaissance Faire is back for another glorious summer season!" He then goes on to say that on this particular summer; for the first time ever, the fair would be setting up roots within the rural areas of Royal Woods. "Come all ye merry gentlemen and join in all the wondrous things the shire folk have to offer" the jester said with great pride, "there will minstrels, fire eaters, sword swallowers, acrobats of all kinds and much more!"
From here, the video began to show a clip reel of all the events and sights within the faire. There were belly dancers, mud wrestlers, jesters performing feats of whimsy and magic for the patrons and of course, the jousting tournament. There were also clips of people sampling some of the faire's delicious foods available, like turkey legs and mutton joints.
"Sigh...As much as I love the Goth life, I love the life of a Rennie even more" Haiku said blissfully, "I've attended the Michigan Faire since I was five years old."
(Cue brief flashbacks of lil' Haiku at the faire; playing, laughing, petting the knights' horses at the jousting field...the whole nine yards.)
As Haiku snaps out of her momentary Nostalgia Trip, she goes on to say that she had been waiting for the faire to come to town for ages. "It's not just me that's excited about this, though" she stated, "Lincoln, Clyde and every one of our Gal Pals friends in town have been looking forward to this since the first ad premiered at the end of June." Upon thinking about her friends, she turned off the video on her laptop and brought up the video chat screen.
Afterwards, she clicked on a group chat icon that read "Call: Gal Pals" and waited for an answer. Suddenly, after only twelve seconds of waiting, the laptop gave off an electronic hum; which signaled that her call was about to be answered. Soon, the video chat menu showed off several small windows; which showed each member of the Gal Pals accordingly.
"Heya" Carol greeted first, "WOW! You really look good dressed like that, Haiku." The vast majority echoed her response with equal appeal, while one or two of them said that they didn't expect her to dress as something so "girly." "I half expected you to want to dress up as something like...an executioner or a gypsy" Paige stated, "all due respect."
Haiku offered up a genuine laugh at the comment; not a sort of raspy, monotone one mind you but a giggle that sounded sweet like a child's. "It's okay, P; I get it" she said reassuringly, "I thought about going as a gypsy earlier...but I decided on the princess angle." Haiku then added that while there would be as many princess as there are gypsy costumes at the faire, she had something that would make her stand out more.
Then, in a flash; she collected a few small things from her desk. One was a small makeup kit and brush, the other was a pair of pointed ears. After getting these items, she began her work and the webcam screen was suddenly engulfed by a cloud of power.
When the dust cleared and Haiku revealed her final look, everyone gasped in awe. Her face was coated with some light mixes of blue and green, the fake pointed ears fit perfectly over her own and her lips were coated with a light layer of blue lip gloss. After letting her friends' shocked expressions sink in for a few moments, Haiku smiled and asked them "well...how do I look?"
What was interesting, however is the fact that she said this in some sort of unusual language. "Uh...Haiku, could you repeat that" Cici asked hesitantly, "I don't think we heard you correctly." After taking a moment to have a good laugh at the whole thing, Haiku properly asked what everyone thought of her look.
"In that case, you are totally workin' it" cheered Dana, "I'm guessing you're going as a mythical creature of some kind." Haiku nodded silently and explained that she'd be going as a wood faerie princess; while also adding that she spoke to them earlier was the language of the fae folk (or faeries.) "Oh, yeah; I knew I heard of that somewhere" Jordan exclaimed, "it's the ancient Fae tongue from the Mystic Wood of Avilar series!"
This response intrigued Haiku and she asked if anyone else was a fan. "Are you kidding, I've been an Avilarian since I was eight years old" Whitney said proudly, "I even designed my own version of the faerie queen's royal gown once." To prove her words were true; she went to the back of her room towards the closet, pulled back the doors and revealed the gown in question.
Granted, said product was small and it lacked a little of the fashion touch. But Whitney assured she later made a better version, after graduating Middle School. "Do you plan on wearing that to the faire" inquired Haiku, "I never thought I'd say it...but we could do a theme thing, in honor of the book." The High Schooler smiled at the idea but politely shut it down, proclaiming that she and her friends already had their costumes at the ready.
With this reveal; she, Carol, Becky and Dana showed of JPEGs of them in their outfits. What surprised everyone was the fact that while Carol and Dana also went with the princess/noblewoman idea, Whitney and Becky chose something else. The former was dressed as a sort of female knight, complete with a wooden longsword at her hip and a shield bearing a white lioness as her emblem.
Meanwhile, Becky seemed to be dressed like some sort of hooded spy. But Haiku quickly pointed out that the teen was dressed as more of an assassin, like those from Assassin's Creed. "Whoa...that's kinda dark" Phoebe stated, "never imagined you would want to try that kind of look.
With a coy smile upon her lips; Becky said that much like Haiku, she also wanted to step out of her comfort zone a little. "Besides, get a load of my cloak and weapons belts" she said while revealing a pair of straps over her body, "don't worry...none of these pouches have anything in them." Everyone was relieved to hear this news, believing that they'd be banned from entering the grounds; if any of them had real weapons on them.
Next, Paige and Jordan revealed themselves to resemble a pair of minstrels. But while the former carried a small mandolin upon her back, the latter gal revealed that she was more of a flute playing sort of minstrel. "I'm going as my favorite historical hero, Joan of Arc" Cristina declared, "what do you think?"
Soon after asking this, she showed everyone a picture of herself in costume. The "armor" was slimmer and more suited for a female, she had a shield that showed off Joan's iconic coat of arms (consisting of two lilies, a sword and a crown) and her usually curly hair had been combed down so that it would appear long and smooth. "Very cool there, Crissie" Whitney stated, "although...I'm a bit jealous that your curls are easier to manage than mine."
After everyone shared a little chuckle at the teen's comment, they continued on with showing off their outfits. "I'm going as one of my favorite Renaissance artists, Michelangelo" Phoebe stated, "and NO...I am not talking about that turtle dude!" This outburst created a jolly fit of laughter from the group, all of whom fully understanding the confusion of the name.
Then, Haiku turned towards Phoebe's window in the chat and asked why she would desire to go as a painter/sculptor. "Just because I'm a shutterbug doesn't mean I'm not a fan of other art forms" she said matter-of-factly, "every now and again, I...feel the urge to paint some of the pictures I take." There was a light murmur of approval from the other gals, all of whom stating that Phoebe's artistic pursuits were commendable ones.
After that, Kat revealed her costume; which seemed to take everyone by surprise. Her long hair had been done up into a top-knot, she was dressed in a sort of fake leather shirt, had a matching medium-length skirt around her hips, thick boots with furry rims and her face was covered in a sort of white and blue face paint with the blue designs giving her the look of a Celtic warrior. The moment she appeared on screen, Kat let out a fierce ululating battle cry.
She was armed with a wooden battle-axe that was half her height and carried a wooden shield upon her back. "Holy Cannoli, Kat" exclaimed Stella, "you really pulled out all the stops for your look." Upon hearing her friend's words, Kat's warrior demeanor faded slightly and felt a soft blush coating her cheeks.
"Sorry for spookin' ya, everybody" she giggled bashfully, "it's just...the faire is one of the two times of the year where I can put away my usual 'girly' nature and get in touch with my WILD SIDE!" The rest of the gang murmured in agreement with her, fully empathizing with their friend's desire to cut loose on occasion. When asked what the other occasion was where she liked to do so, Kat happily replied with "Halloween."
"Trust me on this, everybody" Haiku said confidently, "our trip is going blow anything that Halloween has out of the water." Just as everyone was about to discuss what they plan on doing at the faire; Stella, dressed as a privateer, asked a very important question...how would their entire group be able to get into the faire together? "That's a good point" Cici murmured worriedly, "the tickets must all be selling like hotcakes, who knows if we'll get ours in time."
No sooner having said this, Jordan revealed a rather ironic yet amusing circumstance. "I was passing Clyde's house the other day and I saw him with Liam, Lincoln, Rusty and Zach in the living room" she explained, "I kid you not...the entire floor was covered with phones!" After taking a moment to allow their friend to have a good laugh, Haiku asked where the irony was in her story.
"Okay...sometime after news regarding the faire coming here arrived, there was some kind of radio contest announced" Jordan explained, "the station would be giving out five free tickets to the 92nd caller."
(Flashback: The McBride Household, days earlier)
As our story goes back on the day in question, we find Lincoln and his guy friends in the living room of the McBride home. All around them on the floor, the sofa, the chairs, the coffee table and even the nightstand beside the sofa; there are scores of phones strewn about (from cellular to the "old school" push button phones.) We then find our young friends sitting together on the sofa with a radio lying between Lincoln and Clyde.
For a few moments, they appear to simply be listening to the music. But once the song ends, the five of them suddenly begin to tense up; as if expecting something to happen. "And that was Mick Swagger's iconic hit Transformation takin' up the No.1 spot for the fifth week in a row" the deejay said in a mellow yet cool voice, "before we go to break; just a reminder, the annual Michigan Ren Faire is fast approaching."
The moment this was mentioned, the boys tensed up so much that they almost dug their fingers through the couch cushions. Alas, the deejay seemed to go of on a brief tangent about the overall history of Renaissance Faires, including that of Michigan's own. The whole time this was happening, the boys started sweating profusely and started trembling with anticipation.
Finally, the radio host brought his story to an end and got to the main point of his broadcast. While tickets have been selling fast all over Royal Woods for the faire, he managed to snag five of them. "The winning caller will receive these tickets absolutely free" he stated, "so get to those phones."
After that, he mentioned he would be answering "caller 92" and that was the signal the boys needed. Once Lincoln gave the signal of "GO," everyone frantically dialed the station number on every phone around them. While all this was going on; Jordan watched it all unfold from the outside the house in both fascination, confusion and a little bit of shock mixed in as well.
Despite every window being closed shut; she could clearly hear them shouting out stuff like "yeah," "hello" or "I want it" into almost every phone. Alas, with every time they've tried; the boys were met with the loud echoes of busy signals on the other end. Then, after the 20th failed attempt to reach the station; the poor lads appeared on the verge of a stressful burnout.
All of this felt so bizarre to Jordan that in the end, she decided to bail and head back home as quickly as she could.
(Back to the Present)
The moment the story ended, the Gals all found themselves rolling on the floor or in their computer chairs with hysterical laughter. After finally calming down, five minutes later; Paige asked if any one of the boys were successful in becoming the winning caller. "I was told by Officer Higgins, down at the Loud House that someone did manage to make the call" Carol stated, "only thing is...it wasn't Lincoln or any of the boys."
This bit put everyone on the edge of their seats and they immediately begged to know who won. "Ironically enough, it was Clyde's dads; Harold and Howard" Carol said while giggling, "the boys used every phone they had at their disposal...except for the one in the kitchen." This bit of news would've had the Gals rolling with laughter, if they weren't already so breathless.
"So...what happened after" questioned Phoebe, "did the boys get the tickets or did Mr. and Mr. McBride keep them?" After taking a moment to wipe a tear from her eye from her laughing fit, Carol explained that the boys would get each of the tickets; on the condition they cleaned up all the phones from the floor before suppertime...and that they'd all promise to be careful during their trip (specifically Clyde.) "I like that idea" Stella murmured, "it's firm yet at the same time, very fair."
In the end, the Gals were all happy the boys managed to obtain tickets for the faire. But they quickly realized that they overlooked one glaring and fundamental question, how would they get theirs?! "Don't worry about that, you guys" Haiku interjected with a soft yet confident smile, "I've already got that part taken care of."
Naturally; this revelation filled the others with a strange combination of excitement, fear, confusion and skepticism. "What are you talking about, Haiku" Cici asked suspiciously, "how could you have scored tickets for all ten of us?" While still keeping her smile on her face, the young Goth child simply zipped up her lips; proclaiming that it was all a surprise.
"Trust me; everything will become clear, when we're all heading to the gates on opening day" she explained, "but to help ease your curiosities, let's just say...I know somebody on the inside." While they all had strong trust in their friend, something about her saying she "knew someone on the inside" felt a little...odd. Regardless; with their entry into the faire now assured, the time had come for everyone to bring an end to their call.
"See y'all this weekend, gang" Carol said pleasantly, "and Haiku...we hope this someone you 'know on the inside' is a trustworthy individual." Rather than offer up a rebuttal, Haiku simply winked at everyone and assured them that everything will be revealed soon. With that, everyone's screens on the group chat went blank and Haiku packed up her laptop for the night.
As she made her way over to her bed, the wee Goth faced the viewer and "saw" that they were giving her looks of uncertainty as well. "You guys think I've got some trick up my sleeves, don't you" she asked, causing the screen to move up and down in a nod; "first off, I don't have any sleeves and second...trust me, you'll find out what's going on soon." With that, she laid herself down and closed her eyes for a good night's rest.
(Scene Change: The Rural Area of Royal Woods – location of the Michigan Ren Faire)
Days passed and soon, the opening day of the faire had come. The whole area was full of hustle and bustle, from the merchant booths all the way to the "Castle Stage" at the center of the grounds. Outside of the faire, down at the box office station; we find a long line of patrons standing in line, anxiously waiting to reach the window. Among them were the other nine members of the Gal Pals, who all appeared to be on the verge of a nervous breakdown.
"OOOH! What is taking so long" groaned Dana with impatience, "I don't know what's more nerve-racking, waiting for Haiku...or waiting for the boys!" The others couldn't help but echo their friend's statement, each of whom feeling just as anxious to get in. Then, at that moment; there came the sound of singing from not too far away from them.
As Carol and her crew of three looked over their shoulders, they could see a group of small figures approaching them down the sidewalk. Upon taking a closer look, Dana saw that it was none other than Lincoln and his friends. What truly caught their eyes were the outfits each of them wore.
While the vast majority of them wore some form of tights (with Lincoln's being a sort of...Lincoln green, ironically enough, and Zach's being red;" the others had entirely different clothing choices. Liam was dressed in a sort of medieval friar's robe, Rusty sported a hooded tunic with light and dark brown colors and black pants. Lastly; Clyde was wearing a green leather vest over a blue silk shirt, brown pants and blue shoes.
While some of the boys carried quarterstaves or bows and arrow quivers with them, Clyde came only with a small medieval-style harp with him. After a moment or so, the Gals quickly realized just who the boys were supposed to be; Robin Hood and the Merry Men. As they drew closer, everyone in line could suddenly hear the boys breaking out into song.
Lincoln:
I'm Robin Hood from yonder wood
With my little bow and arrow
I hit with ease three out of threes
With my little bow and arrow
Rusty:
I'm Little John, I've never gone
On the road that's straight and narrow
I get my pound of what's around
With my little bow and arrow
Clyde, Liam and Zach: Five busy little men we are, giving our gold away
Liam: We take from the wicked
Zach: And give to the good
All Five: And go happily on our way
All:
When they come tough, we treat them rough
With our little bow and arrow
Heigh-ho, heigh-ho, we fear no foe
With our little bow and arrow
As the final note of their song rang out, the crowd of patrons standing in line suddenly broke out in applause; including the Gal Pals. "Oh, boys; that was wonderful" gushed Dana, "you're all really into the spirit now!" Lincoln smiled warmly at his guardian, removed his bycoket cap and bowed respectably in thanks to her kind words.
But as he rose up, Lincoln got a look at Carol and Dana's outfits and suddenly blushed deeply. It was enough that Dana looked drop-dead gorgeous in her violet medieval gown, long light purple gloves and headdress (complete with veil) but she also appeared to be wearing a corset, which gave her a rather...slightly curvy appearance. Carol appeared to be also dressed in a regal get up but her dress was more of a peach color.
On the back of her dress collar, Lincoln could see what looked like a hood. The part of her sleeves covering her upper arms appeared poofy, while the lower half was much smoother and like Dana, she also wore a corset; which also gave her a curvy look. The other boys took notice of this and soon, they suddenly felt their own faces heating up.
It didn't take long for the teens to catch on with what was happening. But regardless, Carol and Dana couldn't help but giggle a little at their awestruck faces. "Aww! You boys are sweet" the brunette teen said in a baby-talk voice, "but...aren't ya going to tell us about your outfits?"
Upon hearing this inquiry, the boys immediately snapped out of their days and did everything they could to collect themselves. "He-he...Sorry about that" giggled Lincoln bashfully, "anyway; I'm Robin Hood, Rusty is Little John, Liam is Friar Tuck, Clyde is Alan-a-Dale and Zach is Will Scarlet." With that introduction, the other boys removed their own caps and bowed in greeting.
But much like his bestie, Clyde did everything in his power to not become overwhelmed by how lovely Dana or Carol looked. With that done, it seemed that both groups were present and accounted for...all but one. "Where is Haiku" Paige grumbled, "I thought she said she had a plan to help us get inside."
While everyone pondered on the whereabouts of their Gothic pal, they failed to notice that the line ahead of them had already left; leaving their group standing in the middle of the sidewalk. If the box office manager didn't call out to them, seconds later; they would've been completely lost in thought. Within moments, everyone reached the entrance and found themselves sweating nervously.
As Carol prepared to speak up; in the blink of an eye, Haiku suddenly appeared before them and said "don't worry, guys...this is on me." After that, she reached into her travel bag and pulled out two passes; both of which read "Family Pass" on them in medieval calligraphy. While the reveal of Haiku having passes already in her possession was a welcomed surprise, they wondered why they bore the word "family" on them.
When they asked her for an explanation, the young Goth's face suddenly shined a soft red. "I know you'll probably think I'm weird for saying this" Haiku murmured, "but...after everything we've been through together, I kinda...sorta can't help but look at you guys as my family...symbolically speaking." This confession touched both Lincoln and the Gals deeply and before she could object, they all enveloped Haiku in a loving group hug.
Meanwhile, the other boys commented on how sappy yet touching the whole display looked. Finally, Haiku called for some space to breathe before urging everyone to follow her through the gates. "There's just one thing I don't get" questioned Zach, "how did you get the passes for you and the girls?"
Without looking back at them, Haiku smiled softly and said the same thing she told the Gal Pals; "I know somebody on the inside." Just like it did with the ladies the other night, this statement made the boys tilt their heads in confusion. But before anyone could question its meaning, the skies echoed with the hollow yet loud sounds of drum beats.
"There we are" murmured Haiku, "come on, guys; I'm about to introduce you all to my 'inside source.'" At first, everyone hesitated; unsure if what might lie ahead. But then, they decided to trust their friend and eventually gave chase.
(Line Break)
For almost five minutes, the group traveled through the grounds; all while following the music they heard earlier. At first, it sounded as though it was coming somewhere very close. But then, it seemed to have moved on to another area entirely.
"We must be dealing with roving musicians" Haiku deduced, "they wander the grounds attracting other patrons to come and see their performance." Despite this logical explanation, everyone wondered how they would be able to find these musicians if they tended to wander around? "Every so often, they find specific spots to perform and remain there until the song is done" Haiku explained, "just keep following the music."
With that said, the group continued on their journey to find the elusive music source. This led them to a magnificent stone fountain at the center of the ground. There, they discovered a band of musicians dressed up in Scottish renaissance clothing. The group seemed to comprise of three men and three women.
One of the men played a mandolin, the second showed off some impressive violin skills and the third played on a sort of medieval drum known as a Tabor. The women players consisted of one bagpiper, one a flute player and a dancer. As a crowd gathered to watch them, the group suddenly burst into song and urged everyone to join them.
(Dancer)
Here's good luck to the pint pot
Good luck to the Barley Mow
(All)
Jolly good luck to the pint pot
Good luck to the Barley Mow
Oh the pint pot, half a pint, gill, half a gill, quarter gill, nipperkin and a brown bowl
Here's good luck, good luck, good luck to the Barley Mow
(Violinist)
And here's good luck to the half gallon
Good luck to the Barley Mow
(All)
'Jolly good luck to the half gallon
Good luck to the Barley Mow'
Oh the half gallon, pint pot, half a pint, gill, half a gill, quarter gill, nipperkin and a brown bowl
Here's good luck, good luck, good luck to the Barley Mow
(Piper)
Well, here's good luck to the gallon
Good luck to the Barley Mow'
(All)
Jolly good luck to the gallon
Good luck to the Barley Mow'
Oh the gallon, half gallon, pint pot, half a pint, gill, half a gill, quarter gill, nipperkin and a brown bowl
Here's good luck, good luck, good luck to the Barley Mow
(Flutist)
Well, here's good luck to the half barrel
Good luck to the Barley Mow
(All)
Jolly good luck to the half barrel
Good luck to the Barley Mow'
Oh the half barrel, gallon, half gallon, pint pot, half a pint, gill, half a gill, quarter gill, nipperkin and a brown bowl
Here's good luck, good luck, good luck to the Barley Mow
(Mandolin Player)
Well, here's good luck to the barrel
Good luck to the Barley Mow'
(All band members and the crowd)
Jolly good luck to the barrel
Good luck to the Barley Mow'
Oh the barrel, half barrel, gallon, half gallon, pint pot, half a pint, gill, half a gill, quarter gill, nipperkin and a brown bowl
Here's good luck, good luck, good luck to the Barley Mow
(Dancer)
Well, here's good luck to the daughter
Good luck to the Barley Mow
(Everyone)
Jolly good luck to the daughter
Good luck to the Barley Mow'
Oh the daughter, barrel, half barrel, gallon, half gallon, pint pot, half a pint, gill, half a gill, quarter gill, nipperkin and a brown bowl
Here's good luck, good luck, good luck to the Barley Mow
(Flutist)
Here's good luck to the landlord
Good luck to the Barley Mow
(Everyone)
Jolly good luck to the landlord
Good luck to the Barley Mow
Oh the landlord, daughter, barrel, half barrel, gallon, half gallon, pint pot, half a pint, gill, half a gill, quarter gill, nipperkin and a brown bowl
Here's good luck, good luck, good luck to the Barley Mow
(As the music picks up, Haiku suddenly decides to join in)
(Flutist)
Well, here's good luck to the brewer
Good luck to the Barley Mow
(Haiku)
Jolly good luck to the brewer
Good luck to the Barley Mow
Oh the brewer, landlord, daughter, barrel, half barrel, gallon, half gallon, pint pot, half a pint, gill, half a gill, quarter gill, nipperkin and a brown bowl
Here's good luck, good luck, good luck to the Barley Mow
(Everyone)
Well, here's good luck to the company
Good luck to the Barley Mow'
Jolly good luck to the company
Good luck to the Barley Mow
(the guitarist strums his mandolin faster, causing the dancer and Haiku to perform a spinning dance at an almost dizzying rate)
Oh the company, brewer, land-lord, daughter, barrel, half barrel, gallon, half gallon, pint pot, half a pint, gill, half a gill, quarter gill, nipperkin and a brown bowl
Here's good luck, good luck, good luck to the Barley Mow
(The Band and the Crowd)
YEAH!
When the song ended; Lincoln, his guy friends, the remaining Gal Pals and the crowd of other patrons erupted into a roaring frenzy of applause. After the group managed to catch their breath, each member stood up and bowed/curtsied to them. "Thank ye for your warm applause, Lords and Ladies" the dancer called out loudly, "be sure to keep watch for us 'round the shire, during your stay!"
Before the crowd left the area, the band's flutist reminded everyone of all the other things to see at the faire; while also wishing them a pleasant stay. With that, the crowd began to disperse while extending comments of approval towards the group; leaving the Gal Pals and the boys behind with them. "WOW! That was spectacular" Clyde cried with delight, "I wish I had half the dancing skills that lady's got!"
At that moment; the dancer among the musician group suddenly overheard his comment, tensed up slightly and turned her gaze towards the two groups. Then, her gaze slowly fell down to the wee form of Haiku; who seemed to be looking up at her with admiring eyes. After a moment or two of silence; Haiku smiled at the woman, performed a sort of "bowing curtsy" and murmured "good morrow to thee...Nanna."
In a flash, Lincoln suddenly understood what was going on; this mystery woman was Haiku's insider for the passes. But before he could reveal this to the others, the dancing woman suddenly scooped Haiku off the ground and clutched her tightly into a loving bear hug that almost rivaled Carol's. "Oh, Hildy; ma wee bairn" she cried with great joy, "'tis so good to see ya here again, lass!"
In that moment, no one knew what was stranger; the fact that the woman apparently knew Haiku by her true name or that she was performing PDA with her. Now, at Ren Faires; there was always the possibility of being tightly yet warmly embraced by busty maidens in corsets and this particular one was no different from them. But the exact way she was hugging Haiku however, looked as though they personally knew one another.
As if things couldn't get any weirder, the rest of the band started acting equally affectionate towards the young Goth as well; which confused the Gal Pals immensely. "Sakes alive, Hildy" cried the drummer, "you're almost as tall as me...when did ye start growin' so fast?" Haiku let out a soft yet amused laugh before proclaiming that the drummer was simply exaggerating.
"So...how are ye, lass" the drummer inquired, "ye still dabblin' in them dark forces like your Nanna?" The dancing woman momentarily ceased hugging Haiku and glared softly yet angrily at her bandmate. "Mind your tongue, Angus" she growled, "tain't nothin' wrong with believin' in outside forces and the wee people."
Upon hearing this Lincoln, Clyde and Zach couldn't help but throw back their heads and cry out "YES, exactly!" The moment they said this however, every eye of the band fell down upon them; thus making the boys feel quite nervous. For a moment; the four of them could only stand in silence, as the musicians stared at them intently.
Finally, the Tabor player (known to the other band members as "Angus") suddenly started laughing. "Heavenly heather" he cried, "we're in the presence of Robin of Loxley and the Merry Men, lads!" The moment this was said, the flutist scoffed softly and proclaimed the "daft fool" was seeing things.
"This lad ain't no Robin Hood" she exclaimed, "Robin don't have no snow white locks!" Despite this reveal, Angus proclaimed that the boys still had rather convincing costumes. He surprised them further by properly addressing them all by name.
"Aye! Those are some fine outfits you've got on, lads" the dancer said with great pride in her voice, "ma Hildy said the lot of ye were creative gents and now, I see the proof for meself." Upon hearing the name "Hildy" being used once again, Carol politely raised her hand and asked whom the woman was referring to. "Hildy is a nickname for Hildegard" Haiku stated, "have you all forgotten already that that is my real name?"
The moment she said this, everyone started murmuring softly to themselves in disappointment of their forgetfulness. "Okay, so...who the heck is she" Paige asked, "and who are all these guys, for that matter?" With that inquiry, everyone began wondering the same thing and asked Haiku for an explanation.
"Guess it's time to let the black cat out of the bag" she murmured with a soft giggle, "guys, this is Fiona McNair; the inside source on the passes I was telling you about before." While this explanation was moderately acceptable, the Gals believed there was far more to the situation than that. "How were you able to get the passes so easily from her" questioned Dana, "are you two friends or something?"
Upon hearing this, Ms. McNair suddenly laughed uproariously; as if the teen said a funny joke. "Oh, lass; Hildy and I are more than simple friends" she stated, "we are bound together by blood ye see." While the statement seemed a tad...strange, something about it seemed familiar to Lincoln.
For a moment or so, he racked his brain; trying his best to figure out where he last heard it. Then, like a blow to the head; the memory came to him.
(Brief Flashback to the Loud House, where Lincoln and Lucy are seen watching Vampires of Melancholia together. During the episode; the lead vampire, Edwin, is welcoming Tristan's family into his castle.)
Edwin on the TV: "Now that Tristan has become one of us, a vampire; in honor of this, I welcome you all into my home as well."
(Edwin, Griselda and Tristan bestow the ancient vampire family crest upon the human family members)
Griselda on the TV: "From this day forward, we are more than friends and allies; we are bound together by blood."
(Lucy sighs at how poetic the phrase sounds, while Lincoln lightly grimaces; mainly towards the mention of blood)
(Cut back to reality)
The moment this memory came and went, Lincoln's eyes grew wide and he quickly yet respectfully called for everyone's attention. "I think I know what's going on, guys" he exclaimed, "somehow, Haiku and this woman...are related!" At first, Rusty and Liam acted like Lincoln was talking crazy; proclaiming that the two ladies looked completely different from each other.
"Nae, lads; your friend's tellin' the truth" Fiona assured, "Lil' Hildy here...is my granddaughter." The moment this revelation was said, everyone's eyes (save for those of the other members of the music group) almost popped out of their heads. Afterwards, they took a moment to have a good look at the woman from head to toe; in hopes of finding any physical similarities between her and Haiku.
Much to their surprise, the differences were subtle yet quite obvious. Not only did Miss McNair appear to dress in more brightly colored clothes than Haiku did in her everyday attire. But her hair was a fiery shade of red and was braided into a long ponytail. Her eyes were as green as jade stones, her lips were as full and luscious as ripe strawberries and she when she spoke, her voice sounded quite sweet...even with the thick accent.
After that, she and Haiku introduced her bandmates to everyone. "The man playing the fiddle is my Grandfather, or Granda/da as they say back in my Nanna's homeland; Gareth Matthews" the young Goth announced, "the man beside him with the fiddle is Angus McNair, my Nanna's brother and my Great Uncle while the mandolin player is Gregor McDuffee; a college friend of my Nanna's." After this, the three gentlemen greeted the group with a courteous bow.
Moving on to the other women of the group, Haiku introduced them as Kyla Abercrombie and Leslie Haggard; whom Fiona considered as childhood friends. "Judging from the accents you and some of your associates have, Miss McNair; I'm guessing that you all might be Scottish-Americans" suggested Clyde while approaching the bagpiper shyly, "I mean...I could be wrong, of course." Much to the boy's relief, the group members smiled warmly at him and responded with a collective nod.
"We are of Scottish blood, laddie" Angus said matter-of-factly, "as true as the day is long...save for Gareth; he's from 'round these parts." After this; Mr. Matthews explained how he once grew up in New York, originally and worked as one of the Customs Agents who'd welcome immigrants arriving from outside nations. "The moment I saw Fiona come off the ship, love just kicked me in the face" he chuckled, "some of you kids might know what I'm talkin' about."
With a blissful sigh, Clyde brought out a picture of Lori from inside his costume and stroked the face with his index finger. "Yes, Sir" he thought dreamily, "I know exactly what you mean." At that moment, the lovestruck lad was suddenly snapped out of his daze; when Miss Abercrombie began to regale everyone with how they call came to be performers at the faire. "Whenever she'd write to us from America, Fiona would tell us of all the things she experienced in there" she explained, "eventually, wanderlust got the better of us and we've decided to see the place for ourselves."
After this; Gareth explained how the group didn't find many friends, when they first arrived in America. "Many who saw us thought we were 'leeches,' seeking to bleed the country dry" Angus grumbled bitterly, "had we not been reunited with Fiona...we would've retreated back to Scotland forthwith!" Upon seeing him shake bitterly from the bad memories of his past, Haiku approached her uncle and held him close; which he happily welcomed.
After that; she took over the story and told everyone about how her grandparents eventually, got married during her first couple of years in America. "In time, Nanna gave birth to my dad" she explained, "then, he met my mom and...well, you all probably know what came next." Everyone nodded in understanding, happy to hear of the good that came from Ms. McNair's time in the country and urged everyone to continue.
"When my Nanna wrote letters to her loved ones back home and told everyone about her new job, they didn't have a clue what she was talking about" Haiku giggled, "see...very few in Scotland, at the time, ever heard of Ren Faires before and didn't know what they were like." This bit of information was both informative and interesting, at the same time. As some of the elder Gal Pals recalled; until the late 90's or early 2000's, Ren Faires were more of an American thing.
"Eventually, everyone came to Michigan and they took up jobs with my Nanna and Grandfather here at the faire" Haiku explained, "they've been working with her since the mid-80's." The Gal Pals, Lincoln and the boys gasped in awe at the story; amazed by how long they've remained so dedicated to one profession. But a small thought nagged a bit in Clyde's head.
"How is it that your grandmother is a McNair; yet you, Haiku have a name like Matthews" he asked, "if I may ask, of course." After taking a moment to let the question process, Ms. McNair had a clear idea of what the lad wished to know. "Most women take their lover's family name, after they've married them" she explained, "but I chose to keep mine; thinkin' I'd lose me identity, if I changed it."
This statement caused Mr. Matthews to swoon slightly, proclaiming that he always loved his wife's free-spiritedness. With that matter settled, Clyde thanked the woman accordingly for her reply and bowed graciously. But Ms. McNair insisted that he and his friends shouldn't be too formal around them.
"You're all welcome to call us by our true names or stage names; if'n ya like, Mr. McBride" she stated, "we're all friends here!" Unsurprisingly, being addressed by his family name left Clyde feeling quite surprised. But mostly because of the fact he hadn't told her it yet. When Lincoln asked her how she knew his friend's name, the band simply replied with "a wee black bird told us."
It was here that Haiku revealed that earlier in the year, she would tell her grandmother stories about her newfound friends via video chat; after she and the band finished their rehearsals. "Uh...did you tell her everything, Haiku" Lincoln chuckled nervously, "including...how we first met?" For a moment or so, no one had spoken a word; fearing that doing so would reopen old wounds.
But with a soft yet kind look in her eyes; Ms. McNair revealed that aside from certain...events (such as the Sadie Hawkins disaster,) Haiku would tell her of the time Lincoln and Clyde briefly spent with her within her Junior Morticians Club and how his mother helped lead the Writing Club she loved attending after school. "It warms my heart to know that our lil' Hildy has made such good friends" Mr. Matthews stated, "thank you for that, Mr. Loud." With a bright bucktoothed grin upon his face, Lincoln accepted the man's kind words and bowed his head respectably.
"Haiku isn't the only lucky one in making new friends" he stated, "truth is...had it not been for her and all the girls here with me, this year would've been a disaster." After that, Lincoln directed the music group's attention towards the other Gal Pals; which caused them to stare in utter amazement at their group's size. "I...I cannae believe it" Ms. Abercrombie cried, "when ya told us how many people wished to come to the faire, Hildy...I thought you were lyin'!" Carol giggled at this comment and confessed how she too once felt surprised by their group's numbers.
"I know it seems weird for you that I asked for family passes when half of us aren't even related" Haiku murmured, "but...it's just like you once told me about all the Rennies here; when you've spent enough time with people, they start to feel like family." The band nodded in agreement and commended the Gal Pals on their loving closeness with each other.
At that moment, Ms. McNair suddenly realized how long they've been chatting together and decided to politely cut their conversation short. "So sorry to leave ye like this, laddies and lassies" she chuckled sheepishly, "but we best get movin' while the day is young." Everyone nodded in understanding, rewarded the group for their earlier performance with a twenty dollar bill and bade them farewell.
"Enjoy your day here, everyone" the band shouted out, "and make sure to try the mutton...tis nice and fresh!" With that said, both groups went their separate ways; hoping to cross paths again later. Then, all of a sudden; Whitney stopped walking and quickly called out to Haiku's grandmother.
"MISS MC...I mean...Fiona, wait" she cried, "I've been meaning to ask you something!" Upon hearing the girl's words, Ms. McNair halted her stride and turned to face her. Then, after taking a moment to carefully consider her words; Whitney lightly gestured towards the older woman's hair.
"I'm simply mad about your braids there, Ma'am" she gushed adorably, "where did you get that...I'm hoping to get this poofy hair of mine under control." The Scottish woman cackled heartily at her before announcing the words "join the club" her way. "Ye see, lass; I know what it feels like to possess thick locks" she admitted, "see for yourself."
With that statement; Ms. McNair reached behind her head, undid the ties holding her braids together and then...her hair puffed up in a sudden burst. "WOW" shouted Lincoln in surprise, "I haven't seen hair that curly and puffy since I watched that Scottish princess movie with my little sisters." Ms. McNair chuckled heartily at the lad's comment, revealing that he wasn't the only one to compare her to the princess.
"Locks like these are often common, back in Scotland" she stated, "of course...it would seem that mine are thicker and curlier than most." She then revealed that because the summer season at the faire gets rather warm, she feels it necessary to braid it into a ponytail. "I've tried to do that...many times" Whitney whined, "but no matter what I do, my hair's just too thick to work with!"
After this, the band stood silently for what felt like ages; presumably lost in thought. Then, Mr. Matthews' gestured towards a small hair braiding tent on the east side. "The ladies there have worked on all kinds of hairstyles" he stated, "their collection of herbal shampoos, unique style choices and delicate hands may do the trick for you."
Without a second thought, Whitney made a sudden beeline towards the tent; shocking the rest of her crew. "Whitney, WAIT" cried Dana, "we didn't divide up each others activity schedules yet!" It was too late, the young blonde had already reached the tent and began to situate herself comfortably inside.
The group grumbled softly in mild annoyance, disappointed in their friend's lack of patience. "We'll tell her schedule later, D" Becky sighed, "let's focus on all of us, right now." With that said, Haiku sent a message to everyone containing the faire's schedule and a map of the grounds.
"Let's start by picking out what each of us wants to see first, 'kay" Carol instructed, "then, we'll all split up into three groups of five and go about the grounds anywhere we wish." Everyone nodded slightly in agreement and then, they began looking through the itinerary for ideas. "Hold up for a minute" exclaimed Jordan, "when lunchtime comes around, let's all agree to meet at the dining area on the northwest edge of the map here."
After everyone shared a nod with one another, the Gals did a quick "hands in the middle" while cheering "Gal Pals." Not wishing to be left out of the loop, the boys did their own version of the sendoff by high-fiving each other while calling out "Guy Squad" in unison. With that done, everyone went off in separate directions; eager to explore the faire grounds.
But before they strayed too far, Carol and Kat made a quick beeline for the hair-braiding tent; wishing to join Whitney on her treatment.
(Line Break)
As time passed, everyone's stay at the faire proved to be quite eventful. Up on the northern area of the grounds; Stella, Phoebe, Jordan, Paige and Cici were watching a stage show featuring a troupe of acrobats. At one point, they suddenly formed into a human tower; which involved each member having to stand on top the other's shoulders or arms.
While this was going on, Jordan watched in silence while drinking a soft drink through a straw. As one of the remaining troupe members on the stage began climbing up his compatriots' shoulders to the top; she gnawed on the straw with such worry, it came close to breaking off into her mouth.
Finally, the young acrobat had successfully reached the top; thus completing the human tower. Amazed by this, the crowd suddenly burst into a fit of wild applause. But then, the human tower seemed to wobble slightly; quickly silencing the crowd's jubilant mood.
"Oh, crud" Cici murmured worriedly, "someone must have some weak legs." Soon after she said this, the bottom acrobat suddenly stumbled along the stage; all while (surprisingly) keeping his team rooted atop his broad shoulders. Back and forth, the man stumbled; while the men and women standing atop him wobbled slightly.
For almost a minute, the girls watched them intently; praying that no one would get hurt. Then, the crowd erupted into loud cries of horror; as the human tower fell over. But at the very last nano-second, the other acrobats leapt off each other's shoulders.
Afterwards, the burly gent tumbled lightly across the floor while his partners spun about in the air. The crowd then watched in awe, as the burly acrobat ceased tumbling and caught each of his associates in his arms one at a time. As he caught the last of the other acrobats; rather than place her on the floor, he instead lifted her up sideways over his head like a set of weights.
Afterwards, the troupe posed victoriously; causing everyone in the audience to go wild with delight. "Did you all see that" cried Paige shrieked with glee, "there were a few times I really thought the big guy was gonna drop one of 'em!" Stella nodded giddily and expressed her own amazement during the fire hoop jump segment of the performance.
"Dudes, I've got some sweet pics and videos of it all on my phone" Phoebe said with pride, "I even got one of Jordan almost biting her straw in half." Upon hearing this, the young lady in question glowered lightly at her friend and ordered her not to post the picture online. Phoebe gave her a sort of "I would never" expression, appearing "offended" that Jordan would suggest such a thing.
However, everyone had a sinking suspicion she was hiding her crossed fingers within the sleeves of her robe...but chose to keep silent. "Wonder how the others are doing" questioned Cici, "ya think we should call them yet?" After taking a moment to consider the idea, everyone agreed it might be a wise thing to do; just to make sure everyone was okay.
With that, Stella took out her phone and dialed Carol's cell. It rang for about a few seconds until the video screen turned on, revealing the young blonde. "Greetings, fellow Rennies" Carol exclaimed happily, "y'all notice anything new?"
The four young ladies rolled their eyes playfully but said nothing. The moment she came on screen, everyone could clearly see Carol sporting a sort of halo crown hairstyle. "Ooh! That is just so cute" Jordan gasped with delight, "who did your hair like that?"
In answer to her question, Carol directed her phone towards the hair-braiding tent; where everyone could see the stylists finishing up on Dana's hair. Upon inspection, everyone could see that her hair was braided into a sort of "updo" with a series of small flowers planted into each curl. "EEE! That looks even cuter" Stella squealed, "but...what about Whitney, were they able to work with her hair?"
The moment this question was presented; Becky, who was sitting on a nearby chair and sporting a sort of fishtail look, pointed towards the working area. There, everyone could see one stylist rubbing some sort of fluid onto Whitney's poof. Meanwhile, the assistant was in the midst of massaging her fingers and palms; which appeared to be moderately sore.
"As you can see, Whit needed some...extra help" Carol said matter-of-factly, "had it not been for the herbal shampoos they had here...these two ladies would've called it quits long ago." Feeling curious, the young gals asked how the shampoos helped the situation. "Apparently, they make their shampoos and soaps here from scratch" Dana replied, "which works incredibly well on hair, as you can see."
After this, she mentioned how she and her crew planned on purchasing a bottle for each Gal Pal. "I dunno if Haiku would go for that kind of thing" giggled Cristina, "speaking of which...I wonder where she went off to."
(Quick Cut: Eastern Side of the Faire)
In another area of the grounds, Haiku is seen exploring the walk-thru Dungeon/Torture Chamber Museum; all while writing down poetic pieces on the different devices. As she began studying observing a life-sized replica of the torture rack, the wee Goth frowned slightly, "Sigh. These are very authentic looking replicas" she murmured, "but they aren't as nice as the real thing."
(Back to the Group)
After agreeing to touch base with Haiku later, Jordan pressed Lincoln's number on her cell; hoping to hear that he and the boys are having a good time as well. When his face appeared, the young Loud boy waved at the Gals happily. "Hey, gang" he stated, "get this...you will not believe who I found working the grounds!"
Before anyone could speak up, Lincoln's video screen moved around a bit until he pointed it towards a purple tent near where he stood. At first, nobody understood what he was trying to show them. But when Lincoln zoomed his camera in closer, everyone could see that the tent was for a fortune teller.
Just as Carol was about to question him on what he was trying to show them all, Lincoln asked everyone to take a good look at the gypsy at the table. Once Lincoln ceased zooming in his camera, everyone caught a glimpse of a young lady with black hair and a purple turban atop her head. The girl's most notable feature was that of her bangs...which seemed to cover up her eyes completely.
"What the...OMG! Am I seeing things" cried Phoebe, "that looks like it could be Linc's sister, Lucy." Lincoln nodded slowly at his friend's reply, proclaiming that it truly was Lucy telling fortunes. "Why is she here" questioned Paige, "I thought she and her family had Community Service today?"
At first, Lincoln thought about going over and asking her for himself. But the line appeared quite long, which meant he'd have to spend hours waiting to reach her. "I'll get the 411 from her later" Lincoln stated, "right now, me and the guys are off to see the sword-swallower show...if Clyde agrees." No sooner had he said that; the young McBride boy popped up and said that as long as he had his breathing bag, he'll be fine.
"Thanks for the head's up, boys" Carol called out, "we'll see you all in an hour." With that, all the chat windows shut off and everyone began looking over the schedule for the next show they wished to see. "Alrighty...there's a jester show happening soon" murmured Stella, "you guys want to see that or go browse the shops a little?"
Almost instantly, Jordan went with the latter option; thinking she still needed to catch her breath from the acrobats' wild theatrics. "I vote for that too" Cristina interjected, "I wanna see what kind of crafts the shopkeepers have here before we leave." With that said, everyone came into an agreement and made their way up to the "market area" of the grounds.
(Line Break)
Once the Sword-Swallowing performance came to an end, sometime later; the boys were making their way to their next activity...which Rusty didn't seem quite excited about. "Come on, guys" he whined, "let's go to the fire eater show, the combat arena...or heck, even the show with the hammered dulcimer player sounds better than where we're going!" Alas, the ginger-haired lad's words fell on deaf ears; which made him feel all the more downcast.
After listening to their friend's whining for almost a minute, Liam ceased running and glared over his shoulder at him. "C'mon, pardner" the farm boy groaned, "Lincoln promises this Chess Match will be a bigger hootnanny than New Year's." At first, Rusty felt the urge to dismiss his bestie's claims of a chess match being "fun."
But in the end, he held his tongue; deciding to give him the benefit of the doubt and resumed following Lincoln's lead. Finally, the boys had reached their destination; a large wooden chessboard situated in the middle of a grassy field. You may wonder what purpose a board of such a size would serve.
Well, this is where the boys and all other patrons of the faire would bear witness to a Chess Match...a Human Chess Match, that is. On both sides of the board, Rusty could see the black and the white "pieces" on the board dressed in the most peculiar of costumes. While there were familiar figures like knights, kings, queens and even bishops present; there were two groups only Lincoln and Zach seemed to recognize.
One was a group of odd-looking soldiers with roundish helmets and spears in their hands. The other group consisted of two pairs of armored warriors carrying life-sized shields in one hand and flails in the other. The strangest thing about them was the fact that both of their helmets were in the shape of a small tower.
"What the...what kind of Chess game is this" questioned Rusty, "where are all the pieces...and why are these people dressed like that?" With a coy smile upon his lips, Lincoln turned towards his friend and asked if anything seemed familiar about the players on the board. "Think hard, dude" Clyde urged, "do you remember seeing these kind of guys from somewhere before?"
At first, Rusty didn't understand what his friends were hinting at. Realizing that he wasn't getting through to his friend, Lincoln reached into his backpack and pulled out a comic; specifically an issue from the Checkmate series of Ace Savvy stories he submitted. That was when Lincoln showed Rusty a splash page of the group known as the Chess Court.
The moment he saw these characters, everything finally started to connect with him. "Hold up...did you seriously get the idea for the Court from these guys" he asked feeling utterly befuddled, "Chess has to be one of the three most boring games in the world, next to Bingo and Golf." Upon hearing this, Zach told his friend that this Chess match would be much different than the ones he'd seen before.
Just then, the trumpeters sounded off the fanfare loudly and someone dressed in royal garments stepped out onto the board. "The battle of Chess shall commence soon" he proclaimed, "the victor shall be determined by whosoever can claim the opposite side's king or by proclaiming 'Checkmate.'" After these instructions were presented, both sides nodded slightly in understanding and the game went underway.
At first, the game moved slowly with the rooks and bishops moving only a few squares ahead. "UGH! You guys said this was gonna be fun" Rusty groaned bitterly, "but this is even more of a snore-fest than regular Chess!" Zach facepalmed himself in annoyance and was prepared to lecture his friend on his lack of patience.
But then, Lincoln intervened and directed everyone's attention back towards the board. "Watch this, Rusty" he chuckled while wringing his hands together, "once the White Bishop crosses paths with the Black Rook...the fun really begins." As if on cue, the two aforementioned "pieces" on the board did just as Lincoln predicted and the trumpeters began sounding off their fanfare once more.
Afterwards, the fancy gentleman called for the board to be cleared; which signaled all the other "pieces" to flee into the sidelines. "Wait...what the heck is goin' on" murmured Rusty, "is the game over already?" The four other boys shook their collective heads slightly and said that the "real game" was just beginning.
Before anything else could be said, the skies suddenly echoed with sounds of shouting and weapons striking against one another. Rusty looked on in awe, as the White Bishop swatted viciously at the Black Rook with his sword. But with every blow he delivered, the rook simply blocked it with his staff.
"What the what-ing what is going on" Rusty cried in confusion, "what kinda Chess game is this?!" While still bouncing with glee, Lincoln did his best to explain how one side loses its "piece" in Human Chess. "Long story short; when both cross paths with each other, the board is cleared and the two 'pieces' duel each other until the opposing side loses" he stated, "pretty cool, huh?"
While the explanation did very little to help ease his confusion, one thing was certain; Human Chess was the coolest thing Rusty had seen yet.
(Scene Change; the Picnic Grounds)
Sometime after the Chess Match had ended, the boys reconvened with the ladies up at the picnic area for lunch. There, they brought each other up to speed on what they've seen and did thus far. "And then, the Black Rook looked like he was gonna slam one of the White Knights across the board with his flail" Rusty said while stabbing his fork into his bread bowl, "until the knight leapt out of the way and sweep-kicked his legs!"
The Gals, young and old, laughed merrily at Rusty's story; pleased that their fraction of events at the faire were all going well. "The rest of us have been having loads of fun too" Kat stated, "earlier, I came across a shop that had the coolest looking handmade bags for sale!" Soon after she said this, the preteen revealed a hand-stitched cloth bag with multicolored threads sewn on the rim of the flap and a medieval Irish crest situated in the middle.
"That is a cute bag, Kat" Jordan complimented, "but it's so small...what could you possibly hold in it?" With a sly grin upon her face, the young preteen untied the flap on her bag to reveal the only item big enough to fit inside it; her cellphone. "That's a pretty practical bag" Lincoln commented, "makes me think I should get one for Leni or Lori, while I'm here."
After that, all was quiet for a moment or two; as the gang continued eating their lunchtime treats. Then, Clyde suddenly decided to ask Haiku a rather personal question. "Earlier, your Great-Uncle asked if you 'still dabbled in dark forces' like your grandmother" he inquired, "was he referring to you being Goth or...something else?"
Haiku nodded silently in understanding, sipped at her pepper stew from her bread bowl and said "back in Scotland, my Nanna was known for believing in the supernatural...or rather, the mythical." Now, this revelation sounded utterly preposterous; the idea of mythological creatures was rather...eccentric. "Back in Scotland, my Nanna's parents were followers of what's known today as 'Druidism'" Haiku explained, "which is a sort of nature worship faith."
From there; she added that like most druids, people like her Nanna and great-grandparents believed that life existed everywhere...even within nature. "My Nanna believed that anytime someone disrupted the 'balance of nature,' they would anger the spirits that watched over it" she stated, "things like Banshees, Brownies and the 'wee people...' otherwise known as Faeries." Now, as an aspiring ghost hunter; Lincoln was quite familiar with the wailing spirit known as the Banshee.
But when he heard the world Brownies, the boy's mind immediately thought of a familiar chocolaty pastry. As if sensing this, somehow; Haiku said that a mythical Brownie was actually a helpful spirit/faerie who would attend to household tasks for humans while they slept. "They're known to be very friendly" she stated, "just make sure you reward them for their work with stuff like honey or fresh porridge, otherwise...something nasty will happen."
Upon hearing this, Rusty scoffed lightly at his friend's warning before asking what a "shrimpy fairy" could do to a big guy like him. "You won't be saying that, once some of your stuff's been stolen or if your house gets wrecked and you get the blame" Haiku murmured slyly, "because that's what happens when you anger a Brownie." All around her, the young Goth could see her friends staring at her either in disbelief or confusion (or perhaps, both.)
"See...when a Brownie gets mad, they turn into ugly creatures called Boggarts" Haiku explained, "they're very malicious creatures and are known for pulling pranks on their human hosts; doing stuff like tying their hair into knots or stealing things from the cupboard." She then added that the best way to calm a Boggart and return him to normal was to give it honey.
"That's wild...and you're telling us your grandmother still believes in that stuff now" questioned Zach, "kinda reminds me of my family's belief in aliens." Haiku couldn't help but giggle at this, proclaiming that wild minds do tended to think alike. Meanwhile, unbeknownst to the group; Lincoln seemed to be staring out into space while they all talked amongst themselves.
In reality however, his mind kept on thinking about him possibly spotting Lucy earlier. "Wonder why she's here" he thought mentally, "for that matter, are any of my other sisters here with her and do Mom and Dad know about it?" Before he could think more on it, Lincoln felt a sudden chill jolt through him; causing him to yet out a surprised yelp.
Upon recovering; he turned to the side to find Dana beside him, giggling with two medieval-style drinking goblets in her hands. "Sorry for the sudden surprise, Linky" she said apologetically, "but you looked a little piqued and I thought you could use a drink." Lincoln stared silently up at his friend, smiled and happily accepted one of the two cups from her.
"Sorry for spacing out like that" he murmured sheepishly, "it's just...could it really have been Lucy I saw earlier or was I just seeing things?" In addition to this inquiry, Lincoln pondered on why one of or (possibly) any of his other sisters were doing at the faire. "Don't you worry, chamaco" a voice suddenly said from close by, "your sisters won't be causing any trouble here...at least, not while we're on duty."
Poor Lincoln came close to choking on his soup in surprise, upon hearing this voice. After calming down; he turned to see the familiar figures of Officers Higgins, Simmons and Campos sitting at another picnic table near theirs. "What the...Officers, what are you all doing here" Carol asked confusedly, "I thought you'd be back at the station or watching over the rest of the Louds."
After sharing a hearty laugh, the policewomen told Carol that they were there on a bit of business and pleasure. "Okay, I can already see where you're going with the pleasure part" Clyde stated, "but what sort of business assignment could three officers have here?" After taking a nibble of some steak on a "stake," Officer Higgins said that they were tasked to work as part of the faire's security team.
"There are two reasons why the chief gave us this assignment" Campos interjected, "the first reason is to keep watch over Lincoln's family while they performed their Community Service here." To say that this news surprised Lincoln would be rather obvious. "Thing is, sug...after several days of litter clean up, helping out at retail stores and cleanin' up the area where Luan did her 'Paint the Town Red' prank; they needed a lil' break" Higgins explained, "so, we talked the mayor into sending Linc's family here for Community Service...promising that we'd watch over them while they worked."
It was then that the officers revealed all the positions the Louds were given. Aside from Lucy working as the fortune teller; there was Lana managing the petting zoo, Leni assisting the dressmakers, Lynn Sr. helping make some of the food and of course, Luna volunteering as a bard. While the explanation did make sense, everyone felt bad that the three officers had to babysit the Louds while the faire was happening.
"No, we told you; this is a business and pleasure trip for us" Officer Campos retorted, "I mean...if we're going to be working here, we're entitled to a lil' fun...eh?" Everyone laughed heartily at the officer's jest for a few moments and then, the three ladies suddenly became grim.
"Then there's the other reason we're here, y'all" Simmons stated matter-of-factly, "tell me, did you happen to see anyone...unusual here?" Naturally, this question seemed utterly bizarre, considering the environment they were all in. All around the grounds, there were plenty of "unusual" people to be seen.
"What she means is...did you see anyone out of the ordinary" Higgins inquired, "anyone that was really dressed up in a sort of costume but didn't feel like one of the performers?" Again, the kids collectively felt confused by the question. Regardless, they still answered her with either shakes of the head or soft and simple "no's."
"Is there any reason why you're looking for such a person" inquired Zach, "I mean, I know it's police business but still..." With a soft smile on her lips, Officer Higgins raised her hand; causing the young man to stop. Then, she started looking side-to-side; as if making sure no one was listening in.
When the coast seemed clear, Higgins signaled for everyone to lean in as close as they could. "Sorry for the secrecy, kids...but what we're about to tell you is huge stuff" she whispered, "that means it doesn't get repeated to anyone else except us, unless we say otherwise...okay?" While still rather concerned about all the secrecy and whispering, the kids still responded appropriately with silent nods.
"Okay...The main reason for all this is because we can't tell who we can trust here" Higgins whispered, "see, HQ believes there's a thief hiding in plain sight here at the faire and they plan on making some sort of big heist while everyone here is distracted." Upon hearing this news, it felt as though all time had frozen still. But then, Lincoln and some of the Gals started to wonder if the officers were playing a bit of a joke on them.
"We're quite serious about this, chamaco" Officer Campos said firmly, "somewhere in this faire, there's a real thief and if someone doesn't stop them...something bad might happen."
(First AN: DUN, DUN, DUUUN! Talk about a real bombshell, eh and what a perfect place for a criminal to hide out in. But what reason could've brought such a person here and will his or her presence hinder the gangs' trip to the faire? Tune in next time for Part Two of Rascally Rennies with the Gal Pals)
(Second AN: As you could see, there were two sets of song lyrics used here. The first one where Lincoln and the boys sing "little bow and arrow" comes from the Popeye short Robin Hoodwinked. Such a melody is under the full property of Famous Studios and the creator of Popeye.
However; The Barley Mow, the second song to be used in this, is a traditional folk song. As such, it is public domain and while I do not own it; the song is not under any form of copyright. Either way, I hope that no one punishes me for using the lyrics for both melodies here)
(Third AN: Fiona McNair and her troupe of performers are of my own creation and are not affiliated with the Loud House series itself. The idea of Fiona being related to Haiku was suggested to me by crafordbrian17, which I actually found quite interesting to use)
(Fourth AN: Human Chess Matches are a common thing at most Ren Faires in America. But while most real world matches don't have the performers dress up in costumes based on their assigned pieces. For this story, such an idea is implemented. It's also meant to be a light reference to my Ace Savvy and the Full House Gang: Checkmate story as well.)
(Fifth AN: While Phoebe going to the faire dressed as a male Renaissance artist may seem "odd" to some of you. Bear in mind that I've seen stranger costumes within my Ren Faire alone, such as someone dressed in a giant Pikachu outfit.)
(Sixth AN: While the Mystic Wood of Avilar book title is purely made up by me. The Troll Twins of Underbridge Academy however, is something found within the Simpsons' episode titled The Book Job)
(Final AN: The flashback scene where Lincoln and the boys are seen trying to be winning callers for the faire tickets is lightly based off a scene from Rocko's Modern Life, specifically from the episode "Friends like These.")
