Lily felt strange walking the halls by herself that night. She missed james's step beside hers, she missed hearing someone else's breathing. He made her feel safe. And that was something she desperately needed right about now. She got it, though. She got why he had to go out there with remus. Remus was in pain and james was just trying to make that pain a little better. That didn't stop her from worrying. She wanted to know that he was alright- that they were all alright. Of course she cared about the other marauders too. Sirius and remus and peter, they were some of her closest friends. She loved them like family, and they were certainly nicer to her than her own sibling was.

Lily was thinking about how lonely these halls seemed when she stopped. Something was different. She heard someone breathing down at the end of the hall. That was a very paranoid thing to think, but lily had nothing if not her good hearing. She tried to subtly pull out her wand as she kept walking. Her heart skipped when she almost dropped it, but she caught herself. She gripped it tightly through white knuckles and forced herself to turn around, raising it to dueling height as she did so.

She lowered her wand a bit when she saw who it was. It was a sixth year gryffindor boy. She didn't know his name but she recognized him. He had tried out for the quidditch team but james had sent him away. Said he focused more on brute strength than actual skill. Either way, he had been nice enough about the rejection.

"What are you doing down here?" she asked, trying to keep her echoing voice steady. These halls were creepily quiet at night. They were too big without the students filling them.

"It's past curfew." she said

"Is it?" he walked closer to her and she lowered her wand, but tightened her grip on it "guess i just got lost in thought." he looked around them, as if just seeing where he was

"Well, that's nice and all," she concluded "but you're still out past curfew, and believe me when i say i would hate to have to dock your house points for it."

"Rewr," he made a cat noise and walked past her "relax evans." he turned around and smirked at her. This put lily on edge. No one had ever called her evans except james, and their smirks were remarkably similar, except the fact that this boy's lacked the casual suaveness james's had. It had the air of trying too hard.

"Okay, buddy, whatever you're trying to pull, i'm not interested in, so pack up and head back to your dorm before i dock house points."

"I'm sorry," he lowered his head "it's just that…" he looked back up and lily was surprised to see that he had tears in his eyes "it's all been so hard, you know?" was he serious?

"Listen, i can appreciate that." lily tried a more sensitive approach. "Really, i can. But if you want sympathy i promise i am not the person you want to talk to." lily was good at listening and giving advice when asked, but never sympathy.

"That's what they all say." he stifled a sob and sat down with his back against the wall. She had to hand it to him, if he was acting he was pretty convincing. Lily heaved a heavy sigh and sat down next to him.

"If i talk to you, will you go back to your dorm?"

"Oh, yes." he nodded gratefully. Lily sighed again.

"Okay, so lay it on me."

"Well, it's my father." lily's stomach clenched with familiarity "he's sick. They don't know what with but they don't think he'll make it."

"I really am sorry about that." lily nodded "i know what it's like."

"Oh yeah, your dad- i'm sorry. I didn't mean to-"

"No," lily stopped him "it's okay."

"Really? Oh, thank you. I haven't had anyone to talk to."

"No problem." she nodded

"I don't really need to talk though. I've just been looking for a distraction." lily nodded. She understood that "my wand broke last month, too." he stated sadly "i had to get a new one. This one doesn't work as well, though." he pointed it at the wall and pitiful sparks flew out of the end. "Not so great, huh?" he gave a sad chuckle "this one's maple wood. My last one was cedar. I liked the cedar better. Looked nicer. What've you got?"

"Willow." she rolled her wand in her hand

"Can i see it?" he asked. She would have said no, but he just kind of reached over and took it from her.

"Very nice." he smiled as he observed it. He leaned in to hand it back, but instead of giving her her wand, he kissed her instead.

It took lily a second to realize what was happening. When she did she was not very happy with it. She put both hands on his chest and pushed him backwards.

"What do you think you're doing?" lily yelled at him, instinctively wiping her mouth with the back of her sleeve.

"I'm sorry, i just thought-"

"You thought wrong!" lily stood up and began to storm down the hall before she realized he still had her wand. She turned around to demand it from him but as soon as she turned him hands were pressing her to him and he was kissing her again. She tried to push him back but she was at a strong disadvantage here. She began to panic when she felt his hand start to slide up her shirt. Lily did not let him get very far. She tried to bring her knee up between his legs but they were too close together. So instead she bit his lip. Hard. she felt blood trickle into her mouth as he pulled back.

"You cunt!" he yelled and lily swiped her wand from between his fingers while he was distracted.

"Furnunculus!" lily yelled, a little upset that her breath shook on the way out. Almost immediately painful red boils began to appear on his body.

"The fucking- agh!- hell- is this?" he collapsed on the ground, scratching and popping the boils on his skin. Blood and pus made little puddles on his body. For a moment lily almost felt sorry for him. Then she had to reach to pull her shirt back down.

"Be glad that's all i did." lily seethed. She had considered the cruciatus curse, but no. she had felt that. And she wouldn't wish it on anyone but voldemort himself. She turned and began to walk back to her dorm, shaking the whole time. When she got back she brushed off marlene, alice, and mary. They were still up talking about who knows what. It didn't matter. Lily simply changed, crawled into bed and stared at the wall not quite comprehending. She didn't let the tears fall until after the rest of them had gone to bed, wondering why it had to be her.