Dumbledore filled them all in on his plans for the order of the phoenix in his office. He wanted to form what was to be the opposite of the death eaters. A group that did basically what all of them had done today in order to try and take down voldemort. Lily's survival instincts had told her it was a horrible idea, but she had shut them down and agreed before dumbledore had even finished talking. Everyone else had agreed, too. Even though they had gone through hell today it was nothing compared to what would happen if voldemort got his way and they all knew it.
Now the twelve of them sat in the common room together. Everyone else had already gone to bed, except a few other sixth and seventh years that were simply playing wizard chess and talking at the other end of the room. An understanding somehow passed silently through all of them that nobody quite wanted to go to bed yet. The horror of the ministry was still on top of them all. Sirius had disappeared up into the marauder's dorm and come down a few minutes later with glasses and a bottle of firewhiskey.
They all drank from their glasses and sat around the fire. Most of them were just spread out on the rug. They had given the big armchair to Lily so she could prop her ankle up. James sat on one arm of the chair and Peter sat on the other. Lily leaned her head on James's shoulder and he brushed a hand through her hair. It had begun to grow since she cut it and was now a couple inches past her shoulders. It was, however, beginning to lose its bounce. Her hair was so heavy that when it got long it stopped being curly and just took up light waves instead.
"Well," Sirius lifted his glass "here's to the high probability of dying in the next year!"
"Here, here!" the rest of the room echoed and took a drink. Lily knew he was probably right, but that didn't mean she was going to stop fighting. If someone had come before her and died in order to stop voldemort she would have been infinitely grateful. So here's to creating a better future. Lily had slowly become filled with a fire that was from more than just the whiskey. It was a hot flame that existed inside of her and fueled her to keep fighting.
Slowly, one by one, people trickled away when they could no longer keep their eyes open and knew they had to sleep. Hestia and Molly were the last two to leave. Lily and james had stayed in the arm chair until everyone else had gone to bed and they were beginning to doze off themselves.
"James?" Lily whispered
"Mmhm?" he answered back sleepily
"I don't want to sleep alone tonight."
"I don't know what you would like me to do about that, dear, seeing as you have dorm mates and all." he murmured against the chair
"James?"
"Mmhm?"
"Will you go down to the room of requirement with me?"
"Okay." he nodded after a minute and slowly slid off the arm of the chair. He offered her help to get up and she slipped an arm around his waist. It was nice to have him to lean on. He helped her hobble out of the gryffindor common room and down the stairs. Lily gave him quiet directions to the hall where the door to the room of requirement was.
"Stop." she commanded when they had reached it. She closed her eyes for a second and wished for her room. The one with all the books and blankets and bean bag pillows that gave her so much comfort for some obscure reason. When she opened them again the door was in front of them and she and james crossed through it.
James set her down on the cot before laying down next to her. Lily put her head on his chest and closed her eyes. Her brain was humming. She was just a little buzzed from the firewhiskey.
"Lily?" james said after a while of just laying there in the quiet.
"Yeah?" she opened her eyes
He took a long pause "i thought you were going to die today." lily's mind flashed back to voldemort standing right in front of her. The way she forced herself to look in his eyes for merlin knows what reason. The way they were cold and harsh and fully intended to end her life. She closed here eyes to try and shut down the memory.
"Me too." she finally said.
"Lily, did you mean it? When you said you loved me?" at that Lily lifted her head and looked at him. He looked so afraid, like she might say she changed her mind.
"Yes." she breathed "of course i did."
James let out a shaky breath "thank merlin." he sighed "i love you too, Lil."
Lily just reached up and pressed a light kiss to his lips, or at least that's how it started. It grew into something stronger, something more desperate. The knowledge that they had nearly died today weighed on them and it showed. The feeling of James kissing her sent an electric pulse through Lily and she relished every second of it. The way their lips met like they were always meant to be together.
Lily only broke away when she had no breath left.
"If you doubt that i love you now, James Potter, then you need to take a serious look at things." she chuckled, her face flushing as red as her hair.
Lily laid down on his chest again and fell asleep, the phantom of that kiss hanging over them.
