A/N: Hello, I am back with a new chapter. While I was writing it, I thought of making this one a two-parter but decided against it, so enjoy it.
Disclaimer: I wish I would own those two...in my dreams.
The sun painted fiery streaks across the sky as it sunk toward the ridges. Carrie leaned on a railing, viewing the terrain from the Tiger Shrine. Bells and chimes clanged in a symphonic manner. She closed her eyes and groaned as the frigid air stung the injury on her back. The girl massaged the area gently, moving her fingers in small circles. She became lost in her world until footsteps reached her ears.
Jago sat beside her on a bench, carrying two baskets. "You must be hungry." He motioned to one of them. "Please. Eat."
Moving away from the railing, Carrie grabbed a basket from him, nodding once. She sat on the other end of the bench and opened the basket. Her brows knitted as she stared at its contents. Back in Chamberlain, her mother would've screamed obscenities for having such food. She recalled how Margaret declared the food at a McDonald's as godless.
Carrie shifted as religious fury and longing battled inside her. Her shaking hand paused towards the basket. Would her mother's spirit return to punish her for falling into temptation?
"Is something wrong?" Jago asked.
Carrie swallowed. "It's-It's nothing."
As her stomach gurgled, Carrie hid her face, heat flushing across her cheeks. Despite her mother's warning about eating the 'Devil's food,' she was starving. As she debated with herself, her stomach growled again. With hunger defeating her, Carrie reached inside the basket.
She removed the cloth, unveiling bread with chopsticks set on top. She struggled with the utensils until Jago showed her how to hold them. Once she figured it out, she picked up a piece of bread.
After drawing a deep breath, Carrie closed her eyes and bit onto the bread. She paused in each chew, allowing the seasoning to tingle her tongue. Her eyes widened once she swallowed the food, and her mouth fell open.
"Wha… what is this?"
"A momo." Jago split his chopsticks to unbind them. "The village I had visited is famous for it."
"Oh." As Carrie attempted to pick up another piece, it slipped from her grasp. Her eyes narrowed, and her lips flattened. "It feels weird, using these sticks."
"It takes practice, but you'll get better." Jago loosened the straps of his mask and removed it, drawing Carrie's attention. A light tan surrounded his eyes, full of life. Tiny, stiff hairs grew around his lower jaw as they basked in the setting sun. "Since you're staying with me, we should get to know each other. You've been avoiding me for the past few days now."
The young girl played with her food. "I… don't want to get tricked… or hurt."
The monk sighed beside her. "You have nothing to fear from me. I promise."
Carrie found it hard to read Jago. Instead of a lust-crazed ravenous animal, he was reserved, calm, and self-controlled. Kind yet filled with a feeling of deep and quiet sorrow. Whatever his story was, Jago could be suffering from deep, inner struggles.
Her eyes then shifted towards the tattoo on Jago's arm and chest. The lines mimicked tiger stripes, some stylized into a face. Near the edges, the lines crafted strange writing, leaving her entranced.
"Is everything okay?" Jago asked.
Carrie recovered from her hypnotic trance, blinking a few times. "I'm sorry. I-I couldn't he-help stare at your tattoo."
Jago studied the swirled black inks on his body. "The monks adopted me as a baby and trained me when they lived here. I was a favorite among the Order until…." His brows knitted as his eyes grazed over a distant memory.
"Jago?" Carrie called.
Snapping from his thoughts, the monk shook his head. "My apologies. I was thinking back. Because I showed such promise, the High Abbot had etched this on me. These stripes, according to him, were the mark of someone who had ascended. A true warrior. See that writing at the end there? That is a Tibetan prayer."
Carrie studied the markings that Jago pointed out. "Forgive me, but… what religion do you follow?"
"I'm a Buddhist. Why? Is that a problem?"
"No. Well…." Carrie's mouth became dry as she tried to think of her words. "Well, I assumed that uh, as a monk, you wanted to be near God. I'm a Christian, and I believed in Mama's words… until I questioned her methods."
"I see." Jago rubbed his chin. "You want to stay true to your beliefs, but you reached a fork in the road. I won't stop you from what you believe, nor will I convert you."
Carrie's tense posture relaxed.
"But," Jago continued, "I can show you something."
"W-what is it?"
His eyes lit with an inner glow. "That will be a surprise for tomorrow."
A heavy sensation weighed on Carrie's chest. Whatever Jago had planned, she prayed that history doesn't repeat itself.
Carrie lay awake in her cot the following day, staring at the ceiling. Before she mused further, she detected a presence approaching her bedroom. She closed her eyes, pretending to be asleep. The door slid open, and steps tapped on the stone floor. Carrie trembled underneath her blanket, her hands sweaty.
Oh God, it's happening! He's going to-!
"Meet me at the bridge. We're getting breakfast," Jago whispered in her ear.
Quickly, she opened her eyes and raised her head, watching him leave. For several minutes, she stared at the door until she chuckled. I can't believe I got worried over nothing! Carrie massaged the bridge of her nose, drawing a deep breath through her nostrils. As she arose, a thick piece of clothing lay at the foot of her cot.
Carrie grabbed and unfolded the garment. The first revealed an orange cloth resembling a long skirt. Inside it were two more pieces. The second was extensive with a rectangular shape, shining in pink. The third was a gold double-layered robe.
After getting dressed, Carrie stepped into a room with a mirror. Her blonde hair with red highlights reached the edges of her back and shoulders. Her complexion remained pale as if it hadn't received the sun's light in years. Tiny light glimmered in her bluish-grey eyes.
The young girl glanced down to adjust her outfit when Margaret emerged behind her. She recoiled, and the fine hairs on her body rose upon her mother's harsh stare.
"You little slut… burn those clothes and pray for forgiveness!"
"NO!" Carrie spun around, but no one was behind her. She checked her surroundings before turning towards her reflection, which was clear. Sighing, Carrie massaged her temples. Relax. Your mind is playing tricks on you.
While departing from the temple and crossing the bridge, Carrie hugged herself. "How can anyone live here without freezing?"
A soft chuckle reached her ears. "In time, you'll get used to it."
Carrie turned around as Jago leaned against a large boulder she had passed. Draped around his left arm and shoulder was a red zhen outer robe.
"Are you ready?"
Carrie nodded in silence.
"Alright then. This way." He walked down a long dirt road nearby, with Carrie following him. However, as time passed, she struggled to stay close, drawing deep breaths.
Jago checked on her. "Are you alright?"
"I'm sorry, it's difficult to breathe."
"Yes, the air is thin up here. Slow your breathing."
Carrie wiped her forehead as she followed his advice. "You-you mentioned we're getting breakfast, but where?"
"You'll see."
After walking in silence, they reached the peak of a hill. The sun's light cloaked the entire land. Carrie's heart fluttered, and her eyes sparkled from the view.
"Wow!" Carrie said.
"Indeed," Jago said. "Whenever my spirits are low, I would come here. It shows that the sun promises a new day, even in dark times."
Carrie reflected on his words while a breeze danced around her robe. After observing dawn's arrival, they descended from the summit. They trekked through the forest until they arrived at a town. Flags of every color hung on the lines, fluttering against the wind. Smoke puffed from the close-knit houses—Buddha shrines scattered in various areas.
A tempting aroma wafted into Carrie's nose, leading to a baker. She slipped away from Jago and headed to the stand. The baker cleared his throat while she surveyed the bread and spoke in that strange language.
Carrie blinked, even as the baker spoke to her again. "I-I don't understand what you're saying."
"He's asking if you want to try a sample." Jago approached Carrie from the side.
"What are they?"
Jago and the merchant exchanged words in their native tongues. "He says they're balep korkun."
The baker offered Carrie a flatbread with a red band.
She studied the bread before she bit into it. As she chewed, a sweetness tingled in her mouth. "This is… good! Jago, can we have this ba-lep—I can't pronounce it."
The monk smiled underneath his mask. "Sir, we'll have four slices."
With a smile, the seller began his provisions. While he and Jago continued their chat, Carrie's lips pressed into a thin line. Though tempted to peer into their minds, she stopped herself. Still, she could tell from the baker's voice that he sounded excited. Once the cook handed Jago two bags, the monk bowed his head.
As they left, Carrie waved goodbye to the baker. They trekked across town until they sat on a bench. Several people visited stands to arrange deals or trades. An elder crowd carried hand-held wheels, clicking and whirling.
"They're in a good mood today." Carrie munched on her food. She drew a deep breath to suppress the vexation of wanting normality.
"They're preparing for Drukwa Tsezhi," Jago said. "An event to honor Buddha's first preaching about the Four Noble Truths. It begins on the fourth day of the sixth lunar month."
"Isn't it July now?"
"Yes, but you're going by the solar months. The locals use a calendar that relies on the moon."
"Oh. Mama doesn't let me attend any festive event. She thinks people commit acts of sin in those things."
"Really? Hmm. Well, Drukwa Tsezhi will be your first. Lhasa is where it happens, but traveling could be difficult."
"Excuse me?" A woman was behind them, with beads embellishing her abundant black hair. She wore a long-sleeved dress with a vibrant pattern. "Sorry if I tuned in, but I heard you two are heading to Lhasa. I'm going there to visit a friend that lives in the Sera Temple. I can help."
Jago and Carrie glanced at each other before they regarded the woman. "What do you have in mind?"
The trio spoke to a driver possessing a pickup truck at the town border. After an agreement, they hopped inside the vehicle and drove down the road. The surrounding terrain changed, from mountains to river-carved lands.
"Thank you for helping us, um…," Jago said.
The woman smacked her head. "Oh, dear, where are my manners? I'm Nima."
The monk bowed, pressing his hands together. "I'm Lama Jago. The young one is Carrie."
"Carrie, that's a pleasant name." Nima furrowed her brows when Carrie recoiled. "Have I… said something wrong?"
"She's not used to people who are kind."
"Aw, the poor thing. What happened?"
"I'm not sure, to be honest. So, this friend of yours…."
"His name is Fei. I suppose I should call him Master Fei now, though. He's a teacher living in the Sera Temple. Weeks ago, he sent me a letter that the High Abbot had promoted him. I would send Fei a letter to inform him of my arrival, but not today."
"So, you plan to surprise him."
"Right. You and Carrie should visit too. Master Fei might let us stay for the night."
Twilight unleashed its golden hues as the vehicle reached Lhasa. The city settled itself in a flat valley surrounded by mountains. A vast river passed through the capital, blending colors from the setting sun. Even with night approaching, Lhasa was alive with locals and tourists.
Carrie and Nima thanked the driver as they arrived at the Sera Temple. Jago pressed his hands together and bowed in gratitude. Facing the temple, Carrie studied its features. The enclosing barrier changed from white to pinkish-red, with signs of renewal. Nima knocked on the doors at the entrance. Silence lingered until the door opened to a crack.
*"Bihāna sam'ma kunai āgantuka chainan. (No visitors until morning)," a deep-rooted voice said.
*"Ö ma phē'ī hērna cāhānthēṁ, mērō purānō sāthī. (Aw. I wanted to see Fei, my old friend)," Nima said.
The door widened, and a man emerged. A maroon robe draped over him while a set of prayer beads rested on his wrist. Once he spotted Nima, his tired eyes softened, and he gave a fond smile. They pressed their hands together and bowed to each other.
Carrie tightened her hands into fists while Nima and Fei were acquainted. Then, she lowered her head and opened her hands. The reunion between two old friends didn't spark any happiness within her. The scenery before her served as a reminder of how alone she was.
"Carrie? Carrie."
Her train of thought stopped when Jago grabbed her attention.
"Are you going to say hello? Master Fei is curious about you," he said. "I've already introduced myself to him."
Timid, Carrie gathered what courage she had as she approached, bowing her head. "H-Hello, sir-I mean, Master."
The senior man beamed and spoke his native tongue.
"He says you have a pure demeanor," Jago inferred.
Carrie retreated, earning a quizzical expression from Fei.
Jago glanced away, his lips pressed into a thin line. *"Usalā'ī māpha garnuhōs. Dayālu hr̥daya bha'ēkā mānisaharūlā'ī kyārī paricita chaina. Malā'ī lāgdacha ū ugra jīvanabāṭa ā'ēkō thiyō. (Forgive her. Carrie's not familiar with those with kind hearts. I suspect she came from a rough life)."
Fei nodded. *"Samaya unakō, jāgō sahāyatā hunēcha. Ā'unuhōs āja rātī cisō hunēcha. (Time will aid her, Jago. Come. It'll be chilly tonight)."
Fei led them to linked apartments within the sanctum. A push on the doors displayed a lobby, where several candles lined the hall. Carrie followed the group up the stairs leading to the upper levels. Then, they approached a sliding door disguised as a wall.
Fei signaled them to wait. He tapped on the door before he slipped inside the room. He slid the door open a few minutes later, motioning them to enter.
Bamboo rods covered the ceilings and walls with interior spot lamps. A table remained in the center, adorned with wooden flowers.
The monks shifted towards their visitors, with the High Abbot greeting them. Jago and Nima bowed, though Carrie had a delayed response. When it ended, they sat near Fei. While settling in, someone tugged on her sleeve.
A boy approached her, smiling. "Baṭara ciyā?"
Carrie tapped Nima's shoulder. "What did he say?"
"He wants you to try butter tea," Nima said. "Butter tea is a staple in Tibet. You're bringing harmony with yourself and those around you by drinking it."
Carrie had never tried butter tea, let alone heard of it. She nodded to the boy as he poured the drink into an empty bowl. Then, he presented it to her. "T-Thank you. Do you have a name?"
"Dawa." The child pointed at his fellow monks. "Tashi. Li Chang." While Carrie waved her hand to them, the boy became intrigued. "Bhā'i jagō, unī kahām̐ baschin? (Brother Jago, where does she live)?"
* "Mailē usalā'ī tyō kahilyai sōdhina, tara ma māndai chu ki unī amērikābāṭa ā'ēkī hun. (I never asked her that, but I'm assuming she's from America)." Jago checked on the girl. "How are you, Carrie?"
"Okay, I guess." Carrie grabbed the tea-filled dish and sipped. She expected something sweet, but salt danced on her tongue. She kept herself together as she ingested more and laid it on the table. "Is it… supposed to… taste this way?"
"Butter tea has a potent smoky flavor, but you'll adapt." Nima filled Carrie's cup full of the beverage. "For each sip we take, we replenish the jorum to the brim."
Carrie planned to tell Nima that it was not essential but held her peace. She enjoyed herself for the remaining night.
The next day, bells rang as everyone gathered at the Great Assembly Hall. The monks sat in rows, eliciting deep guttural noises from their throats. Watching from the side, Carrie wanted to ask Jago what the monks were doing. However, the monk narrowed his eyes toward her and shook his head. She fell silent and observed the younger monks arriving with food-filled cups.
Carrie and Jago retreated to their quarters once they received their brunch. "What were those sounds they were making?"
"It's called throat-singing," Jago said. As they sat on the floor, a knock sounded at the door. "Come in."
The door opened, revealing Nima as she came inside to join them. "I love these morning prayers."
"It was nice, though I didn't understand the words," Carrie said. "Ever since I came to Tibet, I have questions. As I told Jago, I once followed Mama's words until I stopped."
Nima rubbed her chin. "Normally, we don't speak on sensitive topics, but I could make an exception. What did your mother tell you?"
The girl kneaded her hands, trying to think of a way without offending anyone. "She believes that… anyone engaging in other religions is… destined for Hell. I guess Buddhism would be the same since I don't hear about God or Heaven." Jago and Nima's eyes locked onto her, their expressions blank. "I-I'm sorry! That's what Mama believes! You-you're not… mad at me, are you?"
Jago raised a calming hand. "No, Carrie, we're fine. It is not unusual for one to have delusions about our beliefs. Allow me to explain. This might shock you, but Heaven is a part of Buddhism, although different."
"It… it is?"
The monk nodded. "However, Buddhism is not concerned with a Creator God. Our views are that the world experiences phases. For instance, leaves change colors during the fall and float to the ground to die. When spring arrives, they return. We call it the cycle of rebirth, and it applies to everything on Earth.
"Only Buddha had known this. In life, he had been a prince named Siddhartha Gautama. Once shielded from the world's horrors, Gautama saw suffering in many forms. So, he renounced a life of luxury and became a celibate. He sought refuge in a forest for the next six years, with neither food nor water."
Though enthralled, Carrie couldn't imagine someone doing something extreme. "Why would he do that?"
"To attain enlightenment," Jago said. "However, he had learned this way was wrong, so he had tried a different tactic. While sitting under a Bodhi Tree, Gautama attained insight. From that day, he became The Buddha."
Carrie mused on this story. In some ways, she saw similarities in her life. Her mother tried to hide her from a 'sinful' world, and she had endured suffering. "Was-was Buddha… a god?"
"No. The Buddha was a teacher," Nima said. "Once you escape the endless cycle of suffering, you can achieve Nirvana. Though difficult in words, the best advice is to explore yourself. Ask questions such as, 'Who am I? What does the future lie for me?' Only then can you discover your true self."
The girl absorbed Nima's words, her voice echoing and repeating.
Carrie and Jago approached the gate, their backs facing the temple.
"Wait!" someone called from behind. Nima rushed towards them, using her time to catch her breath. "You're leaving?"
"The kora will start soon, and we don't want to miss it," Jago said.
"Alright. Before you leave, I have something for Carrie."
The girl blinked as Nima removed a white scarf from her chuba. The woman bowed her head as she presented it to her.
"What's this?" Carrie asked.
"That is a khata, a present given to guests," Jago said.
Carrie was not sure if she should accept it, given her experience. For support, Jago gestured for her to take it. The girl waited as Nima wrapped the silky shawl around her neck.
Nima tilted her head as she inspected it. "You look lovely in it."
The girl brushed her fingers against the shawl, wholly moved. She struggled to say something until she grabbed Nima in a tight hug.
"Thank you." Carrie sniffled into her shoulder.
Nima returned the hug. The women held onto each other before they pulled away. Then, she wiped away Carrie's tears. "Don't cry, little one. May you find enjoyment with this shawl."
Jago lowered his head, pressing his palms together to his chest. "Thank you for your kindness and hospitality."
"I look forward to our next meeting." Nima returned the gesture.
As they turned to the gate, Jago and Carrie said their goodbyes and departed.
After leaving, they hitched a ride from an auto-rickshaw. The brief ride brought the two to a temple sitting on a tortoise-shaped sarsen. Upon arrival, the duo explored the temple, learning its history.
Through their adventure, they found several pilgrims blessing a pond with incense. Carrie and Jago drank from the water and offered small prayers. After the ritual, they traveled around the kora, viewing Lhasa.
Light rays pierced through the clouds, hitting the capital and the valley. From the scenery, something stirred within Carrie. She found hope for the first time. The girl blinked tears as the sun's gentle rays and the soft breeze caressed her face. She sniffled as she gazed at the scenery before her.
You were wrong, Mama. This world isn't rooted in sin.
A/N: Carrie is entering a new world, and Jago will make sure that she would have a great time. Time to let my brain rest, so I'll see you later.
Translation from Nepalese
