The spell hit him square in the chest and it felt as if it pulsed with his heart. Each beat made the pain grow stronger. Pain like he had never felt before. Pain he could have never even imagined.

White-hot daggers were working their way under his skin as slowly and pain-provoking as possible. Ice was coating itself around his lungs until he couldn't breathe.

He didn't know how much longer he could stand this torture before it got the better of him. No matter how much he yelled it wouldn't stop. It got worse. It was as if the pain was feeding off him and eating him away piece by piece.

And then it stopped. Or had it? Was it just letting him find hope again, only to return and dash it out?

Soft, familiar hands cupped his face.

"James!" her voice was kind, but insistent all the same.

"I'm- i'm sorry. He just jumped in front of me- i- i didn't know what to do!"

"James! Come on!"

He finally opened his eyes to see the burning expression of Lily kneeling in front of him.

"Oh, thank merlin," she sighed "can you get up?"

"Yes." his voice was weak. He stood on shuddering legs and reclaimed his wand from Peter.

"Can you fight?" Lily asked, stabling him with her own, smaller frame

James wanted to say no with everything in him. He wanted to go back to his old room at his parents and sleep for days. He wanted to sit back on this floor and try to forget about the pain that was still threatening to return to his body.

"Yes." James pushed everything else aside and just focused on Lily. he had to keep fighting. He had to know she was safe.

Lily wanted to do about a million unforgivable curses on the death eater she had just knocked out. The one who had been torturing James.

She had never seen him look so vulnerable- so weak. He leaned against her as he stood. His hair stuck to his forehead with sweat.

Lily remembered how the cruciatus curse felt and she had sympathy for James. She would never wish it on anyone. Well, anyone but the bitch who had just put James through it, that is.

"Are you sure you're alright?"

"Yes." he nodded, this time with a little more conviction.

"Okay." she nodded back and slowly let go of him. He was strong. He would be fine.

Lily cried out as she felt a sudden, sharp pain go through her calf. She stumbled forward and James caught her, firing off a hex at whoever had cursed her. She heard Peter fire one too, and a body hit the floor.

Lily pushed herself back up to standing, and winced when she put weight on her leg. She looked down to see blood soaking her pant leg. Sectumsempra. Damn Severus for creating that stupid spell.

The battle waged on, lasting almost another whole hour before the death eaters apparated away.

It ended badly for everyone. The gash in Lily's leg still hadn't stopped bleeding. James was still shaken from the cruciatus curse. Remus's right side of his face was so swollen he could barely see out of that eye and Sirius's ankle had been snapped. All together James was just glad it hadn't been worse. They had come off rather well, really.

A few death eaters even littered the ground- dead. Hit by misfired curses or killed on purpose. James didn't know. He didn't want to kill anyone and looking at their lifeless forms, concealed by the masks, made him feel like he was in the wrong. But this was war. If someone didn't kill the death eaters they would kill hundreds of innocents.

Everyone was in various states of recovery around the room. Lily and James sat on the floor with Sirius. Peter and Remus were trying to help injured ministry members.

Lily stripped off her shirt and rolled up her pant leg, wincing as it touched the gash. She tied the shirt tightly around it and took off her belt as well. She tightened it above the wound and gritted her teeth. Sirius was holding his ankle gently.

"It was too easy." James voiced

"I was going to say the same thing." Lily agreed

"Excuse me, mate? Too easy? We almost died."

"No we didn't." Lily said quietly

"I'll say it again- excuse me?"

"How many killing curses did you see today? How many dead bodies of order members are around this room? They weren't out to kill. Not all of us, anyways. They were stalling. Something else was going on. Something- something they didn't want us to know about." she spoke faster, becoming more sure in what she was saying.

James thought about what she was saying. It made sense. There weren't even that many death eaters here tonight. No deaths on the side of the order. Not even any life-threatening injuries. He knew they had masks and all, but James hadn't even seen any of the more common death eaters here tonight. No bellatrix- who was always wanting to be at the center of every big attack. No Lucius- always out to prove himself. None that James immediately recognized.

Something else had definitely been going on.

"We should get back and tell Moody." Lily said

James nodded.

"Can you aparate?" he asked her. He didn't know if she would be able to focus well enough to do it without splinching herself.

"I'm not sure,"

"I don't want to take any chances right now. What about you, Sirius?"

"I think i'm probably alright."

"I'm taking both of you separately. This is not the day for someone to lose an arm aparating."

"Fair enough," Sirius nodded

"'I'm taking Lily, and i'll be right back for you, Padfoot."

He nodded and Lily grabbed onto James's arm.

The two of them apparated back to the shrieking shack, and James quickly set Lily down in a chair. She was looking a bit woozy from all the blood she had lost.

When James looked up again Moody had a wand pointed at the both of them. Only a few other order members had made it back so far.

"Prove it's you." he commanded

James thought for a moment "Once when i was four I accidentally made it rain in the ministry of magic when i broke my toe." James said. He had been in the hall right outside Moody's office. His parents had taken him to work with them that day.

"Alright," he nodded and turned the wand to Lily "and you?"

"I- i only got an A on my defense against the dark arts OWL." Lily said, holding her bleeding calf.

"Alright," he nodded again and put his wand away.

"Moody," Lily began "we think- we think the raid today was just a cover for something. It was- it was too easy."

"Funny. That's what a lot of the others here have been sayin' too."

"Are we alright to leave yet?" Mary called from across the room, holding her left wrist close to her chest.

"I suppose, just be carefull. Constant vigilance!"

"Thanks," Mary called back before the loud pop of apparation sounded through the room.

"I'll be right back, Lil." James said quietly to her, before going back to get Sirius.

He apparated only a few feet in front of him and Sirius had drawn his wand in a second.

"Oi! Prongs, you can't do that to a man who's just been in battle!"

"You knew i was coming back to get you."

"Still!"

"Alright, alright. Can you stand long enough to apparate back?"

"I should be fine. I've had worse, after all."

Sirius took James's arm and stood, putting all his weight on his uninjured leg. His expression showed how truly hard it was for him.

"Ready?" James asked.

He nodded and the unpleasant feeling of apparation swept over James again.

The first thing he heard was sobbing when he got back.

"Prove it's you!" Moody had his wand pointed at Sirius's chest.

"I uh- uh… i once enchanted your wooden leg to catch on fire every time you stepped on a crack in the sidewalk."

"That was you?" he growled

"Nevermind that-" James sat Sirius down next to Lily and went over to where Mary was crying.

"What's the matter with her?" James asked

"Don't know." Frank answered, kneeling down next to her "no one can get it out of her."

"It- it's-" Mary choked between sobs "it's Marlene."

"What?" Sirius tried to stand across the room, but immediately fell back in his chair.

"She- she's- i went t- to see if she was feeling any b- better and she's-" another sob racked Mary's body.

"She's what, Mary?" Sirius tried to stand again, but Lily held him back in his chair.

"She- they're d-d-dead!" she finally managed to get out and then began crying worse than ever.

Sirius's face went utterly blank. There was no sign of emotion or even that he had heard what Mary just said. He tried to stand again

"Sirius- no." Lily tried to keep him in his seat

"Let go of me." he said in a dead voice James had never heard before. Lily released her grip and Sirius stood, leaning on the chair to support him.

"Son, you can't-" Moody tried to start but he was cut off by a loud pop. Sirius had apparated away.