Lily and James apparated right behind Sirius, numb in denial from the news, and also full aware that it might be a trap.

As they apparated into the Mckinnon's house only a few seconds behind Sirius Lily wished they hadn't. It was horrible. She didn't need to see this. No one did.

Broken furniture and picture frames were speckled around the house like someone had tried to put up a fight and sorely lost. And beyond that...
Mr. and Mrs. Mckinnon themselves. They wore old pajamas under bathrobes and Mrs. Mckinnon still had a slipper stuck on one foot. Their faces were blank and reminded Lily of plaster statues, like they had never even been real in the first place.

It was the same feeling Lily had when she saw her father tucked away in his coffin. Like he was just a copy of himself. A shell. Never before had these bodies actually been filled with laughter and happiness and tears… they just couldn't have been.

Sirius was frozen a few feet ahead of them, and he seemed to be thinking the same thing.

It took him a moment to break out of his trance.

"Marlene!" he called and turned, running up the nearby staircase two steps at a time, limping on his ankle, but apparently finding the injury irrelevant at the moment "Mar!"

Lily did not want to follow him. She didn't want to see what she knew she would find at the top of those stairs. She didn't want this to be real.

But it was. Lily always tried to prepare herself for the day that someone she was close to would get caught in the crossfire. But it didn't work out the way you thought it would. There would always be the shock and the denial and the hurt. Always.

Lily followed Sirius up the steps slowly, the pain in her calf hindering her. But that was hardly important. How could she think of a simple cut in her leg when one of her best friends could be dead?

No. she wasn't dead, she just wasn't. Marlene was going to fight in the war until the end. Until they won. She was going to stay with Sirius and the two of them were going to get a flat together. She wanted four ugly cats and a place with a view of the street beneath it. She wanted a big bed and a cactus on her windowsill. Someone that real, with so many thoughts and feelings, couldn't just be gone.

They reached the top of the stairs and Lily turned the corner into what she knew to be Marlene's room.

And then she stopped.

Sirius stood next to the doorway, a broken expression on his face. But his face wasn't what Lily was looking at.

Marlene lay on the ground, her body as empty as those of her parents. Her eyes stared blankly at the ceiling above her. Her dirty sweats were pulled in odd ways around her. Her shirt hung too low and one pant leg was pulled up an awkward amount. Her headband plastered a few strands of dirty hair to her forehead.

Lily almost felt like Marlene was going to rise any second and complain about needing a shower.

But she wasn't. She couldn't. Because she was… gone. De- no. lily couldn't use that word about Marlene. The living embodiment of wildfire. The girl with dreams and a wild spirit. She was going to walk into the next order meeting with a new, ugly scarf tied around her neck joking about all the hickies she was trying to hide beneath it.

No. no she wasn't. She was- she was… dead.

Sirius crumpled against the wall. Lily had never seen him so desperate. Even in his worst moments there was always a joke hiding somewhere on his face. There was always a laugh ready to be pulled out of the situation. But not now.

Sirius held his face in his hands and sobbed.

Lily wanted to stop looking at Marlene but she couldn't. She couldn't take her eyes off her lifeless friend.

Besides, this is one of the last times she would ever see her. Even if she was… gone.