James squinted at the sunlight streaming through the bedroom window. No order business today. Or tomorrow. It was the day before the wedding.
Just thinking that felt a little weird. After all these years of wishing and dreaming they were really getting married. The timing could have been better, but that was true about pretty much everything.
James leaned over and sleepily wrapped an arm around Lily.
He couldn't wait.
Nothing would technically change. They would still live together. They would still work in the order together. Technically they had already had sex so there were no surprises there.
But, nonetheless, james was excited. Yes, it was just technically a piece of paper, but he had been waiting so long. It was a commitment to truly be with her forever.
However, he couldn't say that Lily felt the same. She had been off the last few days, and it was something more than just what was happening with her mom. James was beginning to worry she was having second thoughts. After all, why did she even start dating him in the first place? She hated him for so long. Longer than she loved him, for sure. If she even did love him. No- she loved him. At least… that's what she said.
He knew she felt something for him, but he didn't think it was the same as what he felt for her. How could it be?
James pressed his forehead against her shoulder, finding her soft skin comforting.
Lily groaned "it's not time to wake up yet." she complained
"I suppose not." James agreed
"Good." she buried her face in her pillow
"Lily," he kissed her shoulder and she muttered something unintelligible into the pillow "we're going to get married tomorrow."
He waited
"I know."
"Aren't you excited?" the question was only half-rhetorical.
She finally rolled over and gave a small smile.
"I've been counting down for weeks."
Part of James felt a bit relieved, but another part of him doubted her words.
"...Lily?" he asked after pondering for a minute whether or not he should even bring it up
"Yes?" she gave him a quizitorial look at the change of tone in his voice.
He took a deep breath
"Do you really love me?"
Lily sat up
"What?"
"Do you really love me?" he repeated
"What kind of question is that?"
"One you're not answering,"
Lily leaned forward and put a warm hand against his cheek
"Yes, James. I love you. Why would i be marrying you if i didn't?"
"I don't know… truthfully, i don't even know why you started dating me in the first place."
"I started dating you because… well, at first i went on that first date with you because you asked. Don't tell anyone, but i kind of had a crush on you. Then we went on another date and another, and i noticed how kind you were. I noticed how much you cared about people. You made me happy. And, before i knew it… i fell in love with you." she paused, like she wanted to tell him something else. But she didn't. She smiled another tight-lipped smile.
"I don't want to wake up one day and find you gone." James said quietly, looking down, his vision fuzzy without his glasses "I want you to be sure."
"James," she grabbed his face firmly, and made him look at her "i'm not going anywhere."
James smiled a little bit
"Never?"
"never."
