Hi! New chapter! I'm sorry they are getting sort of shorter, but I hope they're sweeter :)

Please stay home, stay safe!

Btw, last chapter I proposed two possible topics for future fics.

1) Bella and Jacob on New moon when she wonders about kissing another person. This would be a short fic.

2) Bella is an orphan little girl who is adopted by the Cullens. This would be a bit longer...

Some of you opted for number 2. What do you think? I have a few ideas for both.!


The butterfly effect.


Chapter 18: Heightened reality.

They stared at each other for a few seconds. Bella's throat was on fire, she supposed that was thirst, or hunger or whatever. But he was just so beautiful it was distracting. There was nothing particularly new about his features, but her new mind was distracted by him. His eyes were more appealing than before. In Victoria and her group, she considered red eyes to be extremely creepy, but there was something about Felix's eyes that draw her in instead of scaring her off. They suit him. She could not imagine him having any other color other than red.

"Come on, we need to go hunting." He said while steering her out of the cabin. She followed quietly, but she was aware of their speed. How did she sets running without the thought of even having been processed in her mind? She needed to ask Felix about that.

They ran for a long time. Eventually, the came to a stop. They were in what appeared to be some sort of forest. She eyed him confused and he moved in his spot self consciously as if embarrassed.

"I thought that maybe you wouldn't feel entirely comfortable hunting humans, and I thought that I could teach you how to hunt animals." Bella smiled widely at this. They had never discussed her feeding orientations, but he read her perfectly well as always.

She jumped into his arms. He seemed surprised first but he quickly recovered and hugged her back.

"Thank you"

He only offered her a smile and then quickly started to explain what she should do in order to catch her prey. It was very mechanical, although he supposed they had to pay more attention to it due to the instincts that made animals run. It was very different from how they fed. Heidi was mostly in charge of getting humans for them to feed, but she found it emotionally draining and therefore, had asked Aro to ask for another person to deliver his meal. The rest of the members could get feed without the meal having to be delivered to them. She made a strong argument about cameras, social media, and easy exposure.

Bella managed to catch a deer, but she was quite messy in her endeavors. She got blood on her clothes and struggled to feed. After she finished she noticed her state and frowned feeling disappointed. She didn't remember any of the Cullens getting home in the mess she was currently under. And neither did the Volturi she was close with. She huffed frustrated which caused Felix to chuckle.

"Don't be mad. No one is perfect the first time." She nodded but she still felt disappointed.

"How do I not become a mess every time a feed?" She asked almost pouting. Felix couldn't resist it and pecked her lips.

"Practice, love." She was going to protest but he raised a finger to stop her. "I would start by breaking the neck, that way you avoid the struggle. Cleanness will be easier that way as well, but I guess you also should be more cautious. For example, if you break the neck, aside from avoiding the struggle you'll avoid a possible flee which will give you time to feed calmly. It's just as when you were human. Each person has different speeds for eating. For satisfaction, you'll just have to find your quota. You're tiny, so I don't think it will take too much to satisfy you."

Bella nodded. It made sense of everything he was saying. And she needed to remember to be patient. But it was hard when everything was a distraction. She was running to get a deer and she could hear a squirrel a few meters to her left, she could see a few different birds as well, and her mind took everything in. Her emotions were also heightened. She could feel so much love radiating from her towards Felix, she was horny, but he was so damned controlled, it frustrated her. His soldier side was in full mode. And even though he had been amorous with her, and sweet, he was also a bit removed. She thought about all of these while they ran to get another animal. Whichever it was. She wasn't particularly starving but knew that she must feed if she didn't want to be a menace.

Her second hunt when slightly better than the first one. It was another deer since they seemed to be highly active this day. She did as Felix had told her. Broke the neck and took her time feeding. There was no struggle but her cleanness issue would still need attention. Practice would help with that. She was starting to listen to Felix's words about that. He sounded like a Buddhist priest.

They ran back to the cabin so Bella could shower and change. She didn't have that much luck with the shower either. She broke the handle and there was no way now to get the shower to work. She threw the handle into the air, not measuring her force right and breaking the glass shower door. She sat on the floor sobbing without tears, feeling completely dejected. She was a fucking mess.

Felix came into the bathroom alarmed by the noise and his heart sank at the sight of his fiancé crying on the floor. He quickly took notice of what happened and smiled amusedly to himself. He crouched in front of her, putting into second thoughts the fact that she was naked. She didn't need lust right now, she needed reassurance.

He tilted her head up sweetly with his index finger. "Baby, you are doing incredibly well for a newborn. You have managed to form coherent thoughts, to engage in conversation with me and not attack me. Those are major accomplishments" but it didn't boost her self esteem. She didn't feel successful. "I couldn't get dressed by myself for months when I was first turned. I was a savage. I didn't shower because I kept breaking things. Until Aro had enough and had one of the guys at the castle teach me how to manage my strength. It will come with practice. You can not expect yourself to be perfect the first time you try something." Rationally she knew he was right, but it didn't help that every other emotion in her body was turned on full mode.

"It's just so frustrating. I can hear, feel, smell and see everything. It's overwhelming!" She yelled finally revealing the true reason to her state. Felix chuckled. "Stop laughing at me!" She ordered offended.

"I'm not laughing at you, Bella. But I understand. Many of us were a mess. We still struggle with our heightened senses and emotions sometimes." That seemed to calm her and caught her attention.

"You do?"

He smiled gently and caressed her cheeks. "Of course we do. Even if we have thousands of years we still struggle. It can be distracting. That's why most of the nomads are kind of isolated. I think that those who are set to be in one place for a long period of time have it easier because they mingle with humans and therefore are always doing something. The Cullens for instance, struggle not to be exposed to the humans so they put a lot of effort into appearing human." She knew that better than anybody, but they always seemed so in control of everything. How could she have missed so many of those things?

He extended one hand towards her in the universal sign of offering his help. Even though she didn't need help standing up, it was just an automatic gesture. She took it and they rose together.

"Now I can't shower, and I'm a bloody mess." She wasn't a mess. The worst of it was on her hair and that could be easily fixed.

"Lean over the sink." He ordered gently. She looked confused. "Your hair covers most of the mess. You can wash your hair on the sink and when we get to Volterra I can help you shower." Bella nodded and leaned on the sink. "I think I should manage the handle this time." She made a sound, a mix between a snort and a laugh that made him laugh. He poured some shampoo on her hair and she worked it through. When they were satisfied she got dressed very slowly, letting out a triumphant scream when she didn't reap her clothes.

"Let's go. Heidi and Demetri want to greet you. They came when you were still transitioning but left when it was nearly done as to not frighten you. But they've remained close."

She smiled and grabbed his hand intertwining their fingers. "Thank you for helping me. I know I can be over-emotional."

He squeezed her fingers. "I love you, I'd do anything for you."

...

It turned out that Heidi and Demetri were closer than Felix let her know.

Heidi smiled softly not showing her teeth. She was very happy about Bella being this calm. Demetri wanted to run to her and hug her tightly, but he didn't know how she would react. Every newborn was different, and even though he knew Bella pretty well, she was still unpredictable.

"Hey, Bella. How are you feeling?" It was Demetri who asked. Smiling widely, teeth and all.

Bella shrugged. "It's weird. I see, hear, and smell everything. There is so much space in my head. And I haven't processed the thought when I'm already executing the action"

They both nodded. "It takes time to get used to it. But you will get through it. We'll all help you." Bella's heart warmed at Heidi's kind words.


So, I took a bit of an artistic license here. I didn't want Bella to be the perfect vampire from the start. I wanted her to struggle a little. To find her way. Edward never told her what to expect, because he never wanted her to become a vampire. Even with Jasper's story she quite didn't get the drill of everything that could be expected. They told her a few things before the newborn fight and stuff hence her fears in previous chapters. But one thing is the theory and another one the practice.

Also, I based a lot of things of vampire Bella on the character of Caroline of the Vampire Diaries, I think she was the only one, or one of the characters who actually spoke out loud about the troubles of being a recently turned vampire...

So, I thought I could overwhelm Bella a bit and not make her either extremely crazy or extremely calm. I'm having fun playing with the strength part.

I hope you liked it..!