Regina didn't usually drink alcohol while at work, but today, she poured herself a glass and drank it down. Then she poured herself another.
After all, technically work hours were over. She simply didn't want to go home – not with young Snow there.
Sitting in her chair, she nursed this one longer.
What was she going to do?
She couldn't let this go on forever. The only way to solve it was to bury the hatchet it with Snow – something she wasn't sure she was capable of in any time.
Every time she thought about that time, she couldn't help but think of Daniel's dead body there in the stable or those nights when the king would come to her door. Those were things she couldn't get passed.
And not that magic had ever really done her any good – outside of bringing Henry to her – but she kept trying to figure out a magical way out of this. If only she could return Snow to her rightful age without having to go through all of this emotional trauma.
It wasn't fair.
That is what she kept thinking about. It was much like how she thought all those years ago when she found herself in front of the king as he asked her to marry him. That entire time she had kept thinking it wasn't fair. She was supposed to have gotten away from her mother, gotten away with Daniel where they would marry and build a family.
Daniel.
She had loved him with all her being.
One of the things she hated about this world's version of the Snow White story – well the main thing she hated about it – was that it made her back story disappear. Instead it was about how she was apparently obsessed with her looks.
There was no mention of Daniel. No mention of her loss.
Daniel was as much a part of her story as she was. She had been foolish though, foolish to believe that she would have gotten away with it. Even if she had managed to run away with Daniel, her mother would have found them. She would have used her magic to find them Daniel would still have died at her hands.
Taking another drink, she felt her mind drifting to the other part of this – Emma.
For some reason, she couldn't get angry – well not overly angry – with the blonde for what she had done. The idea that she had done this because she wanted a date was almost incomprehensible.
Did she want to go on a date with Emma?
That is what she had been avoiding thinking about as well.
It was a crazy thing to even consider. After all, everything about the two of them screamed that they shouldn't be together.
And if Emma thought that making her and Snow making amends would help that situation, Emma didn't know her parents very well. There was no way they would be ok with their daughter going out on a date with Regina.
Regina could picture it now, Emma telling her parents and then Regina having to stand there being accused of putting a spell on her. In their minds, Regina was sure that was the only way they could make sense of their daughter and the Evil Queen going out on a date.
Shaking her head and finishing off the drink, she decided it was time to go home. If nothing else it would distract her from these thoughts of Emma – even if Emma was there.
When she arrived home, she was surprised that Snow wasn't front and center waiting for her. Instead, she heard her laughter coming from the kitchen.
Walking in, she saw Snow laughing at Emma who was juggling three apples while Henry was doing a poor job of attempting to match the feat.
Emma saw her standing there, and gave her a smile as she finished it up by catching the last apple and giving a deep bow to Snow, who clapped at the impromptu show.
It was then that Snow realized that Regina had returned and she bounded over to her. "Did you see Emma?" Snow excitedly said.
"Yes," Regina said, peering a little behind Emma at what was on the stove.
"I cooked dinner," Emma said.
"And what are we having?"
"Tacos,"
"A major culinary feat on your part, I'm sure."
"Where is David?" Regina asked. She figured he must be there somewhere as his car was outside, and it wasn't like she believed he was going to let Snow be unprotected around her.
"He's upstairs in the guest room," Emma said. "Neal was being fussy. He's trying to get him to settle down and maybe take a nap."
"I need to change clothes anyway, so I will check on them," Regina said. She didn't really need to change clothes, but just seeing young Snow there in her kitchen was already enough for her to not want to be there.
She could see a trace of disappointment on Snow's face as she had said it and was surprised to see a similar expression on Emma's face.
She paused, rethinking going upstairs, but in the end she left. She was at the bottom of the stairs when she heard Neal crying. By the time, she got to the top, she was wondering how she hadn't heard him the moment she walked in the door.
Stopping in the doorway of the guest room, she saw David walking back and forth in the room, holding Neal in his arms and rocking him.
"How long has he been fussy?" she asked.
"For the past hour or so," David said. "He's not hungry, but doesn't want to go down for a nap either. I think he misses his mom."
Regina tried not to take offense at the comment, as she didn't think David meant it as a dig on her. If anything, he looked like he needed a nap.
"Here, let me try," she said coming into the room.
David hesitated a moment before handing Neal over to her.
"Go downstairs," she said, "Your daughter has prepared dinner."
"Are you sure?"
"Yes. I will see if I can get him to lay down for a nap and then join you."
"Thanks," he said before leaving.
After he left, Regina began to mimic David's earlier movements, but used a vertical rocking motion rather than the horizontal that David had been using.
It still took a while before Neal began to settle down and she was able to lay him down for a nap. She didn't leave the room at first, instead watching him sleep for a bit to make sure it was going to stick.
She thought about Henry and what he was like as a baby. She had been so lost as a parent to a baby and struggled, especially in those first couple of months. But it was all worth it.
Being a mom was the best thing she had ever done.
She thought about what David had said, that Neal missed his mom. Regina was sure it was true.
If they couldn't find a way to return Snow back to normal Neal would be yet another child that she didn't get to raise.
She was responsible for Snow not raising Emma. If she didn't at least make an attempt at fixing this situation, then she would be just as responsible for her not raising Neal.
She was unsure she could even make an attempt, but so far she could find no way to return Snow to normal without fulfilling Emma's wish.
She left the door partway open and went downstairs to where everyone was sitting at the dining room table apparently finishing up their food.
Regina took her normal seat, which was right beside where Snow was sitting, looking sullen. She had seen that expression on her face too many times growing up. If nothing else, young Snow had perfected the use of pouting when she wasn't getting what she wanted. And her father always gave her what she wanted when she pouted.
Regina looked over at Emma as if to silently ask what the problem was and Emma merely shrugged.
"Did you get enough to eat?" Regina asked her.
"Yes," Snow said.
"Good," Regina said.
"I can get you a plate," Emma said to Regina.
"Thank you."
Tacos weren't high on the list of Regina's favorite food, but she was happy to not have to cook dinner that evening.
She ate her first taco as Emma started to clean up the table with the help of her father.
"Regina," Snow said.
Regina stopped and looked at her, but Snow didn't say anything else.
"Did you want something?"
"I was wondering if you would take me riding tomorrow," she said, her head down, and her eyes not even looking up from the table.
Regina looked up at Emma and David and Henry who had all stopped what they were doing and now watching her.
"I have work to do in the morning," Regina sighed. "But we could go after lunch."
"Really?" Snow smiled as she looked up at Regina.
"Yes," Regina replied. "Emma, if you could bring her to stables at around 1, I will meet you there."
"I can do that."
"There, then it's all planned out then," Regina said. "Now if you don't mind, I want to finish dinner."
It was later that night, after David had gone home with Neal and Snow was in the guest room asleep and Henry in his room, probably reading or playing a game before sleeping.
Regina had finally changed her clothes and went downstairs to get a glass of water to take upstairs to bed with her. She heard the kitchen door open behind her and didn't even need to look to know who it was.
"Is there something I can do for you Miss Swan?"
"Besides stop calling me that," Emma said. "No. I just wanted to say thanks for agreeing to go riding with her. She mentioned earlier that she wanted to go with you. I think it meant a lot to her."
Regina turned to face her. "You know one afternoon of riding isn't going to fix this."
"I know," Emma said. "But the fact you are willing to try means a lot to me. I want my mom back to the way she is supposed to be, but I also don't want you to be hurt in all of this."
"I'm not sure you get to have it both ways," Regina said, moving toward the door. "So, let's just stick with trying to get your mom back to normal, or at least as normal as she gets."
Emma moved to block her path. "I do mean it, I don't want to see you get hurt."
Regina looked down at the glass in her hands and then back up at Emma.
"I appreciate that," Regina said. "I hope you know that I can't make any promises about how well this will go tomorrow. In fact, I am guessing it will be a disaster, but I will try."
"What made you change your mind?"
"Neal."
"Neal?" Emma asked, giving her a confused expression. "How so?"
"That's between him and I," Regina said. "Now if you will excuse me, I'd like to get some sleep."
Emma moved out of her way and Regina went back up the stairs. She had thought about telling Emma how it was the Neal changed her mind, but she didn't want to see the hurt in Emma's eyes if Regina had told her that she didn't want Neal to grow up without his mom like Emma had to.
While Emma had a great relationship with her parents now, Regina could tell that was still a bit of a sort spot between them. Even though it was Regina's fault that Snow and Charming were unable to raise Emma, Emma believed some of that blame rested on her parents' shoulders.
Regina's role in all that had shaped Emma's life was part of the reason she found it hard to believe that Emma would ever want anything to do with her, much less go on a date with her.
Regina stopped by the guest room to peek in and make sure Snow was sleeping. Assured that she was, Regina continued on to her room. She needed her rest because tomorrow would not be pleasant for her. The stables were the last place she ever wanted to be with Snow White.
