Chapter 13: Difficult Choices
When the princes did not see Nyssa at the Dining Hall at breakfast, they began to worry. They were used to seeing her every morning. This was the first time she missed the morning meal since she came to Erebor. Was she ill, or was she so embarrassed by last night's behavior that she was purposely avoiding them?
If that was the case, Fili felt compelled to find her and explain his situation. He was the next Durin in line, the heir apparent, and to have a relationship with someone other than a dwarrowdam (preferably one from a noble family) would be cast out. Not only by his uncle but also the council.
He also had a more personal reason. Fili was already in love with another. At least he thought he was. She was from a noble family, now that her father was given the high position as king. She had the respect of her people, not just because of her father. She, and her brother, were instrumental in rebuilding their city to match the strength of Erebor. There was much work left to do, but Sigrid was prepared to take on the challenge.
If she were a dwarf, she would have the approval (and blessings) of both the dwarf council and King Thorin. But, the fact that she was human would prove to be the greatest obstacle. Fili knew that their union would never be accepted no matter what Sigrid had accomplished with her new position.
Fili often imagined taking Sigrid away in the night and marrying her in secret. He wondered what it would be like to work as a simple blacksmith like Thorin once did to raise his family in a village far away from the Lonely Mountain. Would Sigrid agree to such an outrageous plan? It would be difficult for the both of them. They would be far away from their family and friends, far away from help of any kind.
His mother would kill him if he did that. Not to mention, being a disappointment in Thorin's eyes was something that he could not bear. He loved his uncle dearly.
Thorin helped raise the princes like they were his own children. He took on the role of father figure ever since their own father died in battle when they were very young. He loved those boys and took great pride in their training, especially Fili. He knew what it was like to grow up with so much responsibility for his position and wanted Fili to succeed both in his future reign and his personal life.
But, Fili knew that Thorin did not foresee his nephew, trading it all in for a human. It would devastate everyone. No, he could not bear to see his uncle disappointed in him. He could not do that to his family, nor hers.
After breakfast, Fili and Kili began searching the mountain for Nyssa. They checked all the usual places that she seemed interested in during their tour of the mountain last evening, but Nyssa was no where to be found. Fili became increasingly anxious to speak with her. He felt that he could not do anything else until he saw her first. In fact, Fili was so focused on finding Nyssa that he was practically sprinting down the corridors toward the living quarters. There was no other place she could be but in her room. He had to find her to set things straight between them.
"Look, brother, if I didn't know you better, I would say that you are obsessed with this woman. Are you curious to see what other talents Analyn is hiding from us?" Kili asked in a joking manner to lighten his brother's mood.
But, Fili merely threw his brother a stern look while he continued maneuvering through the crowd of dwarves. He knew that Kili was teasing him, but he was in no mood for laughs until he finished what he had set out to do.
Kili frowned when he saw Fili's reaction and closed his mouth for the remaining period. He did not know what to make of his brother's behavior. He was hoping that Fili had not formed an attachment to her for many reasons. The one reason in particular was that Kili suspected that Analyn might not feel the same way. Even with her flirting with them last night, he had a strange feeling that it was really all just an act. Maybe that was how she interacted with people. Her actions did not seem to harbor any ill will, but at the same time, he was not seeing anything more than just a playful spirit. However, he did watch how Fili reacted and became worried that his brother was seeing things from a different perspective.
Also, Kili knew how Fili was wrestling with other issues like coming to terms with his feelings for Sigrid. Fili needed to figure out the meaning behind all of that and decide what to do next. Kili watched how Sigrid behaved whenever Fili was around, like a blushing young maiden at her betrothal. He could tell she also had strong feelings as well. Fili would have to make a decision what he really wanted and soon.
As the brothers rushed closer to the entrance into the guest quarters, they heard a voice from behind them calling Fili's name. Fili stopped and turned in the direction of the voice, but he could not see who was calling him through the crowd of merchants and miners.
"Fili," said the voice again. This time it was louder and more familiar.
Out of the crowd of people, Sigrid emerged smiling as she walked toward the surprised dwarf. Fili did not expect to see her today as the council was not meeting with Bard and his delegates that day. Sigrid usually accompanied her father on those trips to learn her role as the new princess of the kingdom, but in truth, the trips provided the perfect excuse to visit Fili whenever she could.
Fili was always pleased and excited to see her, but this moment proved to be an exception. Kili placed his hand on his brother's shoulder and gave him a warm smile before he left him to continue the search.
"Sigrid, what a surprise," Fili said grinning like a nervous cat.
"I was hoping to see you today. Father had a special meeting with your uncle, so I came along," she said with a smile.
"A special meeting? I was unaware of such a meeting," he said while trying to contain his anxiety.
He did not know why he felt so anxious. Seeing her was what he looked forward to each day. Sometimes it pained him to go for weeks without even hearing her voice. So, why did he feel like he wanted to be anywhere but right beside her just now?
"Father said that there is a new guest in Erebor, a female ranger from the north. Have you met her?" she asked innocently.
"Yes, only briefly." The words spilled out of his mouth before he could catch what he just said. Only briefly?
Ever since he first saw this ranger in Dale he had spent nearly every day with her. How could he lie to Sigrid like that? What was wrong with him?
Sigrid did not see any signs of doubt in his answer and merely nodded. Her smile got bigger as she changed the subject to telling Fili the news of why her father was visiting the mountain.
"Your uncle is organizing a scouting party to tour the perimeter of both kingdoms and assess their border weaknesses. Apparently, it is a selective group that is going."
"I heard nothing about this. When is this scouting party leaving?" Fili asked, thoroughly confused.
"Tomorrow morning. Father is a little concerned that Lord Thorin wishes to assemble the group in such little time. He thinks it might have something to do with what that lady ranger told him."
Fili listened and absorbed all that Sigrid told him. His anxiety about finding Nyssa had been long forgotten. His thoughts turned to the scouting trip that Sigrid told him. Who would be selected to take on such a journey? Naturally, Nyssa would be one of the members of the party. Would Thorin include the princes on that list?
Before he could ask Sigrid if she knew who was going, Dwalin emerged from the crowd and marched toward Fili with a purpose.
"Fili, Thorin sent me ta fetch ya an' yer brother. Where's Kili?" Asked Dwalin.
"He went looking for someone. I'm sure he'll be back," answered Fili.
Fili turned to Sigrid who looked a little disappointed. She wanted to continue her visit with Fili, and Dwalin ruined the moment.
"I am sorry, Lady Sigrid. I must attend to my king's wishes. I would love to continue our visit later today."
"Of course, Prince Fili. I look forward to finishing our conversation then," she said imitating Fili's formal tone. She nodded slightly and smiled before walking away.
Fili tried to sound more formal so as not to signal to Dwalin that there was anything more than royal business being discussed. The last thing he wanted (other than his brother) was for any of the company to suspect his true feelings for the human princess. He did not want Thorin to know until he was sure of how she felt. Once he was certain of their intentions, then he would deal with telling Thorin and the Dwarf Council.
Fili followed Dwalin through the crowd heading to the Royal Quarters. They walked through the labyrinth of corridors and hallways until they arrived at the door of Thorin's private study. Dwalin rapped on the large oak door and waited until he heard Thorin's voice giving them permission to enter.
Thorin had just finished with his meeting with Bard and retreated to his study to think about his decision to take a scouting trip around Erebor's perimeter. It would be a seven-day journey, and he wanted to keep it simple with just himself, his two nephews, Bard, the woman ranger, Dwalin, Balin, and whomever Bard wanted to bring who could fight in case they met with some trouble. He felt uneasy when he spoke of this trip to Bard. Why the sudden impulse to do this quickly?
His thoughts wandered to the ranger. It was his idea to take a party to scout the perimeter of the kingdom, but it was she who suggested that the borders were still vulnerable to attack. For some reason, he felt like he was being played, but he did not have any proof. Was this woman manipulating him into making a rash, unnecessary decision? It angered him to entertain such a thought that a woman of any race could make him do anything that he did not want to do.
Her explanation of her past was also questionable. That night at the tavern in Dale she told him a story that seemed unlikely. She did speak very well and had some form of education, but was she really of noble blood? Her story about her family getting killed over some massive conspiracy that doomed her to wander the wilderness was too vague to be believed. He had no evidence that she was lying, but something in him told him not to trust her.
It was his plan to arrange a private dinner in his quarters with just the two of them. He was quite familiar with the effects of dwarven ale on any creature, man or dwarf. For some, it was like a truth serum.
If he could get her to partake in more than just a glass or two, it might loosen her tongue and maybe help to coax the truth out of her. It would not take a lot with her small size. A few tankards of the drink, and she would tell him everything he wanted to know.
Thorin stood by the fireplace smoking his pipe while letting the scenario play out in his head when he heard the knock on the door. It must have been Dwalin bringing his nephews to see him like he wanted. He turned away from the fireplace to face the door and called for Dwalin to enter.
"I found Fili, Thorin. Loiterin' outside the guest chambers," said Dwalin.
"Thank you, Dwalin. When you find Kili, have him come see me right away." Thorin nodded to his friend and waited for him to leave.
Dwalin gave a quick look at Fili and turned to leave. Fili watched as Thorin's captain and closest friend closed the door behind him to give them more privacy. Fili turned back to Thorin and waited for a response before questioning his uncle about the news he heard from Sigrid.
"No doubt you may have heard about the journey that I am organizing with Bard."
Thorin turned on his heels and walked toward the table where the wine decanter rested. He poured wine into two goblets and passed one to Fili before taking a sip from his own.
"I heard just a few moments ago in passing," said Fili as Thorin nodded.
Fili said nothing more as he watched his uncle take another drink. He wanted to let Thorin lead the conversation to see where it was going.
"This will be a small party with just a select few who are going. I am adding you and your brother to the list. We will be gone a fortnight at the most to assess the perimeter of the kingdom and the vulnerabilities with regard to border security. I don't want another orc army catching us off guard."
"Does this have anything to do with Analyn, Uncle?" Fili could not help himself.
"Yes," said Thorin hesitantly. "What do you think of the human ranger? Do you think she is trustworthy?"
Fili did not know how to answer the question. He had no cause to think of her as sinister, yet he could not stop the unsettling feeling he had when he was around her. The truth was that he did not know what his feelings were toward her. Was it a platonic affection toward a new friend, or was it more than that?
"I can't say, Uncle. I don't know that much about her, even though we have spoken many times. Our conversations have always been about Erebor."
"Really?" That caught Thorin's attention. "What did she say?"
"Kili and I took her on a tour of the mountain last evening after supper. She was rather persistent in having us take her around the corridors. I was careful to avoid speaking about the treasure chambers. I understand the orders," Fili explained when he saw the look of anxiety cross Thorin's face.
"She has a forceful personality, strong and confident. It would be an attractive quality in any dwarrowdam." Fili added. He could not help but smile when he thought about what he saw as her positive assets.
Thorin only frowned when he observed Fili's reactions while he explained all he knew about the human ranger. The young dwarf seemed to develop some kind of attachment toward her, and that did not sit well with him at all. He agreed that she was a strong and confident person. He was also feeling a strange force pulling him to her. A force that was gradually growing stronger with each passing thought. The more Fili talked about Nyssa in such a way, the more his anger and jealousy grew.
Stop this! I cannot let this woman control us like this.
"Fili," Thorin interrupted. "I want you to limit your time with this woman. She is becoming a distraction. Also, I do not trust her."
"Uncle?" Fili asked in confusion. "I don't understand. What has she done to make you distrust her?"
"You said it yourself. We know nothing about her past."
"Then why let her stay in Erebor? Why have her as your advisor on the security of our kingdom?"
"I cannot explain why my feelings in these matters are just, but you must trust me. Do not associate with that woman again unless it is for the business of Erebor. Now, I have another meeting I must prepare for. Please, go and find your brother, and tell him the same."
Thorin turned back to the fireplace after he dismissed Fili like he was one of the servants. It stung Fili's pride and confused him even more. He wanted to argue with his uncle and refuse his orders. Despite what kind of war he was having with his own feelings on the subject, Nyssa was still his friend, and he did not want to lose that because of dwarf traditions. These dwarf rules were hurting his relationship with Sigrid, and now with Nyssa. He was tired of it all.
Without another word spoken, Fili slammed the wine goblet on the table, turned on his heels, and quickly stormed out of the room. Thorin heard the door shut hard and turned his head toward the sound. His heart sank at the thought of hurting his nephew without so much as an explanation why, but even he did not know. He could not blame his nephew for his feelings, for Thorin was experiencing the same thing. If he did not know better, he would have sworn that this temptress was a sorcerous, pitting him against his nephews. But, Thorin was stronger and more experienced than they were. He would find out what little game she was playing, and he would make sure that she learned who was really in control.
