Erik jerked the corset strings tighter around Alanna's torso. She seemed cheerier than she had been last night, and had even apologized for her rude behavior. Erik apologized as well. He struggled with the strings and he attempted to pull them tighter, but was met with resistance.
"Stop," Alanna said breathlessly as he continued to fight with the corset. "It's alright. It doesn't need to be so tight."
Erik had never had this problem before, since the corset, as well as the gown she was now struggling to squeeze into, were perfectly tailored to her body. He wondered if the stress of the last few months had caused her to gain weight. He pulled at the back if the dress as he forced the buttons into place.
"There." He said. And as he said it, something clicked in his head.
Alanna was as healthy as a horse, has had eaten very little in the past three months, and with as much stage work she was doing she shouldn't have been gaining weight. Unless...
He undid the buttons on the constricting dress, unaware of what he was doing.
"What are you doing?" Alanna said as he tugged at her corset laces. "Erik, this is hardly the time..."
He put his hands on her waist and turned her around so she was facing him.
"What is it you've been hiding from me?" He asked softly.
"Nothing." She said easily, but he could see the lie behind her eyes. His hands rounded her waist, coming to rest on her stomach, where he could feel the lump that didn't allow Alanna to fit properly into her gown.
"You're pregnant." Erik said softly. She bit her lip, which trembled dangerously, her eyes shining with unshed tears. He sat down on the bed, face in his hands.
"God..." He breathed. "This wasn't supposed to happen."
Alanna stood in silence for a few minutes, fists clenched at her sides, tears sliding down her face.
"Why didn't you tell me?" Erik said at last.
Alanna laughed bitterly. "How are you supposed to tell a fiancé who is afraid to be seen in public with you that you're carrying his child?" She said through her tears, voice harsh.
"I had a right to know!" Erik snapped. He pounded a fist on his knee, trying to remain on the bed. Alanna was only slightly taller with him sitting.
"I don't need to hear this," Alanna snapped, tears dripping from her eyes as she tried desperately to fix the back of her dress, fingers fumbling. "You aren't the one with a tiny human taking over your body! What you eat, when you need to use the loo, what shape your body is, causing you to hurl everything eaten before 11:00." She gave up on the dress and sunk to her knees face in her hands. "I'm scared, Erik! Scared you would leave me!"
Erik felt guilt for only a moment before rage took over. "Do you have such little faith in me?" He demanded, jumping to his feet. "Hell, Alanna, did you really and truly believe I would leave the mother of my child shivering in the cold?"
She looked up at him with red eyes. "Answer me straight and truthfully." She said. "Do you want children?"
Erik didn't hesitate. "No."
She stood shakily. "And you accuse me of having no faith in you. How the hell can I have any faith in a man who doesn't want his own child?" She shoved a finger in his face. "Did you really think that I would never want children one day?"
Erik flared. "I hoped that we would have time for a discussion before this ever happened!"
"And if we have gotten married and I brought the subject up, what then? You would refuse my desire to mother children? Your children?"
Erik turned away from her.
"It's irresponsible for me to have children, Alanna. No matter what it is you desire."
"Irresponsible? What, you think there's a murder gene?" She said dryly. Erik tried desperately to keep his temper in check.
"I don't know if my deformities are hereditary." He said, once he had cooled the flames of his temper.
"Was your mother deformed? Your father?" Alanna snapped. "Sometimes things happen you can't control,"
Erik ground his teeth. "You just have an explanation for everything, don't you?" He turned away from her, clenching his fists in anger.
"All I do is give, Erik! I give and you take! I gave you my heart, my body, and my soul, why isn't it enough? I ask something of you and you shut down, why can't you trust me?" She touched his arm. "Your anger is just a defense, but why are you blocking me out like this? Why do you need to defend yourself against me?"
"I don't need to explain myself to you." Erik growled, stubbornly keeping his back to her.
"God in heaven!" She swore, her voice rising. "You don't listen! You never listen!"
Erik snapped. He spun, raising his fist as he prepared to confront her. There was a horrible smack of skin on skin and Alanna fell back and hit the floor heavily. His temper receded in a wave of shock at what he had just done.
"Oh god," he said. He reached out tentatively to help her to her feet. She shied away from his hand, wiping tears angrily from her eyes.
"God, I'm such an idiot. So naïve, believing you actually changed. But no one ever changes, do they? They just get better at hiding the madness," she said bitterly. Already the bruise was forming over her left eye.
"Alanna..." He said, his voice weak. He had gone too far.
"Just go!" She yelled, getting to her feet, hiding her face behind one arm. "Go!"
Erik hesitated for only a moment before he retreated, regret heavy on his heart.
