I tore the white gown from my body as I choked back tears, trying to ignore the pain that plagued my face. So much for keeping up appearances. I knew Erik would react badly, but I had no idea how horrible he would be. I pulled my hair down and ruffled it with my fingers before twisting it into its familiar braid down my back.
I stumbled to my vanity, wearing a gown that was a little more accommodating to my condition as I considered myself in the mirror. A purple bruise obscured my left eye. I grabbed my powers and tried desperately to hide my shame. I wouldn't let anyone see this weakness. I couldn't let myself falter. Wear the mask. Bear the pain.
The swelling in my eye made it difficult to hide, but I tried my best. It was a necessary distraction one that made me forget about my failing engagement. Even now, I still loved Erik, but how could I love a man who didn't want our child? I'll admit, I didn't show much faith in him by not telling him right away, but after seeing his reaction tonight...who could blame me?
Tears slipped from my eyes, washing away the façade. I rested my face on my arms as I cried, knowing that right now that was all I wanted to do. Tomorrow I could do damage control, but for now I just needed to break down.
A soft tap on the door broke me from my reverie as I jerked my head up.
"Alanna? Is that you in there?" The door knob jiggled, but it was locked.
"Go away, Alice." I said, trying to steady my voice.
"I was just worried is all, since I didn't see you at the ball."
"I'm fine, I'm just not feeling well, is all."
There was a pause. "I heard you crying, Alanna." The door rattled again. "What happened?"
"Nothing." But my nerve betrayed me as my voice cracked. I checked the mirror out of the corner of my eye only to see that my makeup had smudged and the bruise was visible once more.
"Alanna, let me in or I'll go the managers for a key. Hell, I'll just have Rufus break it down for me." She sounded serious.
"Alright," I said weakly. I couldn't shut the world out forever. I unlatched the door, opening it slightly before sitting on my bed heavily. Alice pushed the door open, entering in a flurry of wild red hair. Her expression changed from annoyance to shock in a moment as she stared at my face.
"Oh hun, what happened?" She asked, sitting on the bed beside me.
"I can't tell you."
My reputation would be mud if the press learned I was pregnant out of wedlock, as would the opera house's. Who knows what my friends would think. And I couldn't talk about Erik, not with anyone. It was frustrating as hell. But it was my life.
I wiped my eyes, trying to retain some dignity.
"Who did this to you?" She demanded, taking my face in her hands. "I'll mess them up really good for hurting you."
"I can't..." I hesitated. "My fiancé." I said at last.
"Wait, you're engaged? Since when?" Alice said.
"Since... He proposed about three months ago." I murmured.
"I haven't met him, have it?"
"No." I murmured. "He keeps to himself."
"Where is he now?" Alice asked.
"I don't know. And I don't care." I snapped. "I'm through with him."
I hoped Erik was listening through that damned trap door. I wasn't going to be with a man who struck me. Or a man who couldn't love his own child.
"I'm through."
